by PJ Bayliss
Peyton closed her eyes. She knew Chaise intimately in many ways, and there was no way she could determine if the image on the screen was either Chaise or his brother at this moment. She opened her eyes just when the immediate impact occurred. Her eyes were transfixed upon the pop-up screen as Julie fumbled with her phone, dropped it to her feet, and then scrambled to pick it up. At the last moment, her face came into view as she picked the phone up, followed by a lifeless scream. Thankfully the sound on the system was muted, but that didn’t lessen the effect of the moment of impact when Julie’s screen turned blood red.
Carlos returned to the room. He watched his body still writhing with Adrienne’s legs locked around his torso on the screen. As he watched on, swirls from Julie’s fingers pushed the red blur around on the pop-up screen.
‘Turn it off, Peyton. I’ve seen enough.’
She turned the screen off and ensured the camera was off as well.
The three of them sat speechless in the room. Unable to speak. Unable to even look at each other. Barely able to digest what they had seen.
‘An accident,’ Chaise sighed. ‘It’s just an accident, dude. And we can’t take it back now,’ he shook his head in despair. ‘Nothing we can do about the past.’
Peyton approached him and opened his arms out wide. Chaise buried his face into her embrace and let his soul pour out.
42
The landing on the runway was smooth and gentle, but the force of the reverse thrust brought Chaise to his senses. Peyton smiled as his eyes opened.
‘Feel any better?’
‘Huh? Where are we?’
‘We’ve just landed. Gatwick.’ The noise of the engines dissipated and the motion of the plane transformed into a gentle pre-programmed run on the tarmac. Chaise looked around and sighed. He had hoped that this flight was all just a dream.
‘We’ll be at the hospital in thirty minutes. That’s if you’re up to it.’
He wiped the sleep from his eyes. ‘I'll be alright, thanks.’
‘You want me to come?’ She gently rubbed his thigh in a reassuring manner.
Chaise nodded and within minutes the plane had come to a complete stop.
‘We can all come with you if you want,’ suggested Josephine.
‘No. I’ll be fine,’ Chaise said after a moment of contemplation. There wasn’t much any of them could do in the light of things, and while he appreciated their generous offer of support, they were merely doing it because they were family.
‘I’ll call you Mama if I need you. Otherwise, I think I can manage by myself.’
◆◆◆
He drifted from one location to the next. Through the airport hangar filled with the bitter aroma of aviation fuel, tarmac, and mechanical parts to the immaculate interior of the waiting car. The fresh scent of leather, washed carpets, and polished windows filled the air.
Chaise twisted the top off a complementary water bottle. ‘What’s the plan?’
‘We are heading straight for her ward at Saint Mary’s. Your parents are going to check-in at the Marriot down the road from us.’
‘Hmm. Staying the night?’
‘If need be. Gianni made it clear that we can stay here for as long as we need to. He has extended the rent on your flat in Scotland too, so you won’t need to rush back there either.’
Chaise relaxed and continued to gaze aimlessly out of the car window. The streets filled with people as they approached the city centre and he slunk back into his seat to watch them drift by. Their black and white attire blended into a blurry haze within the tears that filled his eyes.
‘You’ve got to step up, Chaise. For Julie’s sake, and just as importantly, yours.’ Peyton shuffled closer to him on the seat. ‘We still don’t know just how bad she is, Chaise. There is a chance, you know?’
Chaise sighed, ‘I guess you’re right, Peyton. But I can’t help feeling like this right now. It’s hurting me bad, but I’m also so aware…’
‘Aware of what?’
Chaise wasn’t sure if he should say what he was about to. He felt callous, cold and empty. However, there was only one person on this planet he could tell, and she was sitting right next to him holding his hand.
‘Aware that just a few weeks ago, I was prepared to let her go forever. Just like the pair of us always said we would.’
‘Goodbye? Why?’
‘We never meant to become a long-term thing. It was always just for the fun because she lived here in London, and I live in New York. It just started out being nothing more than an agreement. We were both in it just for the sex.’
‘I understand. These things happen.’ She considered their friendship, the past few days in Capri, and her once buried emotions that had now been excavated through their time together in Capri. ‘These things happen all the time. Trust me.’
‘So why? Why is it so hard to say goodbye now?’
Peyton sighed, ‘It’s got you, babe. It’s got you bad.'
‘What has me?’
‘L. O. V. E. You dummy! This is what love feels like, Chaise. You only notice it when it’s missing or about to leave you.’
He knew it was, as he feared. It wasn’t as if he was afraid to love her, nor did he want to toss her to one side and walk away. It just wasn’t what he had planned, and at this stage in his life, he didn’t know if he needed it.‘Well I don’t like it. It’s not good at all! Peyton. Can’t you make it go away?’
‘What? Love?’
‘No. This empty feeling burning away inside me.’
‘I don’t know if I can… or should,’ she looked at her bag beside her.
‘What?’ Chaise watched her eyes dart back to him. ‘You can, can’t you?’
‘What are you talking about, Chaise?’
‘You can take this away, can’t you? What do you have in that bag of tricks?’
‘Chaise, no! I don’t think it would be right.’
He insisted that she confess and tell him the truth about what was in the bag and if it could remove all of the mixed-up feelings inside of him. The creaking anxiety and empty feeling of being lost. It was tearing him up and he begged her for a sedative, a pep pill, or anything that would take the emptiness away.
‘I just want to fucking forget! Can you hear me?’ He paused and listened to his own words. ‘That’s all Peyton. That’s what I want.’
‘Oh no, you don’t! Not that, Chaise.’
‘Yes. Give it to me. Give me amnesia. You must have some of that shit in there.’
‘I do, but seriously Chaise, you can’t take that. It’ll make you forget everything. It’s way too powerful.’
‘I know it is, but we managed it - Carl and I. We did it to Julie that night.’
‘And it has probably killed her Chaise!’
‘What then? What else can you do?’
Peyton considered her options. She came up with another possibility. One that was so much more viable than a complete memory loss. But first, she needed some answers herself.
‘Driver! Stop up here please. We want to go to that park.’
‘Hyde Park?’
‘Yes. Hyde Park.’ She didn’t know what park it was, nor did she care. All she cared about was what she was about to do and how it would potentially impact their lives forever. She instructed the driver to wait for them and paid the fare in advance with a fistful of notes.
They hoped out of the car and walked toward a bench beside a circular water fountain where they sat down to talk. ‘I do have something, Chaise, something that’ll help you out.’
‘An upper?’
‘No. Something that’ll let you forget. But it’s not amnesia. It’ll only take selected memories away.’
‘Sounds okay. What’s the catch?’
‘I need to know something, Chaise,’ she held his hand and looked into his eyes for solace, ‘I need to know what you feel about me. Do you, can you, honestly say you love me, too?’
Chaise felt like he’d been hit by a tonne of bricks with her few
words. They sunk into him like a vacuum, sucking his insides away.
‘I thought we were friends Peyton. You know, we always have been…’
‘Friends with benefits,’ they said in unison.
Peyton smiled. ‘I know. So did I, and we always have been friends like that. That’s our history hun, and we grew up that way. But this time, this trip something was different. I…’
‘You what?’
Peyton sighed, ‘I connected, Chaise. I’ve finally fallen in love with you.’
Like a demolition ball, her words came swinging back at him.
‘Fuck, Peyton. That wasn’t meant to be, remember?’ He held his finger out, ‘Pinkie promise?’
She locked her finger in, ‘Pinkie promise, Chaise, but I’m sorry. I can’t change how I feel about you right now. I always have loved you. Always will. So, I need to know…’
He took a deep breath. ‘I do, Peyton. I love you, too.’
They locked lips and kissed. Finally, they had been true to themselves about how they cared about each other. It was magical, and for the first time ever, Peyton felt liberated with his company. She could open up and say anything to him right now, which is precisely what he did.
‘But I can’t have that either, Peyton. I’m not ready for this. Not right now in my life.’
Her world dropped away from her feet as he confessed his feelings to her, but she knew him too well and understood why.
He had barely had time to live his own life. A life that had transitioned from his home, to the University, and now to this park. He was just a babe in the woods, she on the other hand, had been out there in the real world and experienced years of fun and playfulness in several relationships.
How could she ever prevent him from living this part of his life? It wasn’t something she was prepared to gamble with either. No way would she want to live each day wondering if he ever got that sense of adventure out of his blood.
‘I can’t blame you, Chaise, and you know what they say. If you love someone…’
‘… set them free.’
Peyton tearfully opened her bag of goodies and removed a canister of white pills. ‘These are going to help you forget all of this.’
‘What is it?’
‘Hypnosis….’
43
Where are we?’
‘In the park, hun. You fell asleep.’
Chaise looked around at the people jogging and cycling along the pathway. Children were playing on the grass and in the distance, voices were booming out from Speaker’s Corner.
‘We’ve got to go somewhere…?’
‘That’s right. We’re on our way to see Julie in hospital. She’s been in an accident.’
‘I remember. She’s okay though, right?’
‘I believe so.’
‘Okay. Let’s go then.’
‘You’re okay with seeing her?’
‘Why not? She’s just a friend.’
‘That’s right. Just a friend…’
They walked on down the path and hopped back into the car. Peyton instructed the driver to go to the hospital a couple of blocks away.
‘Just like old times, huh, Peyton?’
‘Excuse me?’
‘When we were kids. Being dropped off at school.’
‘Yes, Chaise. Just like old times.’
‘I miss home. When are we getting there?
‘Tomorrow.’
Chaise nodded and rubbed his hands together in anticipation. ‘Can’t wait. I’m up for a bit of a celebration, you know what I mean? I wanna let my hair down and party a little.’
‘Sounds like a plan. You deserve it dude.’
Chaise looked at her curiously.
For a moment, she thought her mental reprogramming had faltered. He didn’t asked to forget his confession of love, or how he felt about her, but she felt it to be a necessary step to go backwards in order to move forward.
‘Yeah, you’re right. I do deserve it,’ he laid his hand out for a high-five and she slapped her palm against his. ‘I’m so damn lucky to have a friend like you, Peyton. Friends forever?’
‘Friends forever, Chaise.’
‘Pinkie promise?’
Peyton smiled, her heart skipped a beat, and yet it still broke into two as she wrapped her finger around his. ‘Pinkie promise.’
◆◆◆
They arrived at the hospital and thanked the driver who drove on to collect another fare. A pair of glass sliding doors opened and they entered the building.
‘You know, Chaise, I’ve been thinking about the company and believe we could do with another member on the team, if you’re open to the idea.’
‘I guess you’d know best, Peyton. What were you thinking?’
‘A doctor I know who’s studying in Boston.’
‘A doctor? Specialising in what?
‘Neurophysiology.’
‘What’s his name?
‘Her name, is Autumn.’
The End.
Admission
PJ BAYLISS
Chapter 1
Carlos twisted the lid of the canister open and gently shook it. The pills rattled inside as he muttered, ‘I don’t care if she’s still alive, it’s still all my fault. It’s my bloody fault she’s in a bloody comma.’
He grasped the bottle on the table and took another swig, sucking it in as the harsh tang of whiskey burned its way down to his stomach. His vision stirred the hotel room up into a blurry haze. He glanced at his watch, ‘Whaddaya know? Eleven-eleven. Time to make a wish.’
He rattled the canister once again and swallowed a mouthful of the pills, washing it down with another swig of whiskey. It had been a long day travelling from Capri to London, yet he was so tired it was beyond exhaustion. ‘Too tired to sleep. Fuck my life…’ he muttered before stumbling over the edge of the bed. His knees crumpled over backwards, falling over onto his back where his lifeless gaze fell upon the television screen.
There never was any intention to kill himself that evening, but his soul waltzed awkwardly close to the devil that evening as the combination of drugs and alcohol rapidly consumed his conscious nous. He drifted in and out of a peaceful slumber, ignorant of his hotel room surroundings spinning around him.
The television screen illuminated the room with its flickering images and dull monotone sound. It was hardly a lullaby, but it still sent him off to sleep.
Peyton and Chaise were leaving the hospital. He’d said his farewell to Julie, who was lying lifeless in the hospital bed with the ventilator pumping away. It was just another chapter in his life as far as he was concerned, unaware of the story that final chapter represented. He sent a text to Carlos and Adrienne to meet them outside and go out for a night of dancing. His plan was to celebrate being alive and remove the feeling of remorse he harboured inside his gut.
Adrienne knew Carlos had already been drinking that evening. She wanted to check with him first before replying to the text. Swiping the security card to open his room, she stepped inside and saw him on the floor, convulsing in a pool of drool at the end of his bed.
‘Fuck me!’ She cried out and dashed to his side.
Carlos watched her leather boots stop within inches of his face and he peacefully closed his eyes…
Also by PJ Bayliss
Burnt
ISBN-13: 978-0473268916
Absence
ISBN-13: 978-0994109019
Restraint
ISBN-13: 978-0994109002
Taboo
ISBN-13: 978-1517107444
How Deep Is Your Dog?
ISBN-13: 978-0994109026
www.pjbayliss.com
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