Staring down at her bloodied hands she remembered how they had gotten so. In slow motion her mind played that one scene she so badly wanted to forget over and over again. The demons punching her, wanting to kill her. And then Amber, that beautiful, avenging angel. The black shadowy stuff piercing through her chest, instantly dimming the light of life in Amber’s green eyes. Her blood staining her teeth. The shock on her face as she realized that she was about to die.
Whirling around Lillian barely made it to the toilet before throwing up.
When her stomach had emptied and the dry-heaving ceased she flushed and got up on shaky legs and walked back to the sinks. Turning on the water she started fiercely scrubbing her trembling hands and face despite the pain. Her life had been normal only…what, twelve hours ago? Not even a day had passed. This wasn’t her life, or even a life anymore, this was a nightmare she really wanted to wake out of. Now.
A knock pulled her out of her thoughts and away from the face reflected in the mirror that wasn’t, couldn’t possibly, be hers. “Hey, it’s Raz. You okay in there?”
Lillian almost snorted at that. Okay? No, she really wasn’t okay.
In the last twelve hours she had found out that she was the daughter of an effing angel, that she was born to guard hellholes, had been attacked by demons, and watched a woman die in front of her eyes. And she had had to leave her parents and home behind. No, she was a long way from okay and heading for the land of insane hysteria.
Closing her eyes she took a long, deep and calm breath. She needed to put on the brakes and clear her head before the mad laughter lurking inside of her could pull her under.
Apparently she had two options. One, go crazy and end up stuck in a padded cell. Or door number two, accept her fate of being an Ivory who was born to fight demons. And as unbelievable and insane as it sounded, the reality of it had just kicked her in the teeth.
Pros and cons.
Lillian had to take back control over her life and that wasn’t exactly something option one easily permitted to do. Door number two also had the benefit of her being able to kick some demons’ asses for what they had done, especially the one that had gotten away. Which meant she needed training first.
Taking a deep breath and one last look at herself Lillian walked over to the door and out to meet up with the angel. He looked her over, his brow furrowing, but didn’t say a word.
They silently made their way into the night outside. She frowned when he stopped by a car that wasn’t her mother’s. This was a blue 1970 Chevrolet Chevelle SS, and not her Mom’s Toyota Corolla. With a shrug she got in while he loaded his grocery bags in the trunk. Then he got behind the wheel and drove off.
Over the next half hour she sensed him glancing at her from time to time and an angry tension started to pour off of him for which Lillian had no explanation. When he started to drum his fingers against the wheel she caught his gaze with her own and saw something between annoyance and unease in his frown.
Frowning she asked, “Is something wrong?”
“You okay?” he countered, a little gruff.
“Yeah. As much as I can be, I guess. I’m working on it.” Apparently that was a good answer since his eyes started to soften somewhat with sympathy.
She knew that at some point she had to jump into that weird, new world she had to call her own now. Inwardly bracing herself, she added, “You said one of them got away. One of the demons at my parent’s house. Which one?”
At her question any remnants of his weird mood and the tension in his shoulders vanished entirely and were replaced by surprise. He even seemed relieved as he relaxed back into his seat though she had absolutely no clue as to why. Her frown deepened.
Obviously catching the unspoken meaning of it Raz explained, “I just thought I would have to talk with you about what happened back there. You know, in a way like Amber would have done? I’m not good at talking about…that stuff.”
Right, that stuff being her feelings and a rather traumatic experience. But unbelievable as it might seem, Lillian understood the angel and showed him by trying the ghost of a smile and rolling her eyes at him. “Who’d have thought?”
Silence descended upon them, the awkward kind that could feel almost like a growing being in the close confinements of a car, as Lillian’s mind once again was flooded with images of Amber. She turned her head away, looking out the window without seeing anything.
“She died trying to save you.”
“I know.”
“Don’t let that sacrifice go to waste.”
“I know. Dammit.” She took a shaky breath and then promised with strength in her voice, “I won’t.” Wiping away the tears that had sneaked out, as if to prove her point, she asked, “Where are we going anyway?”
“Iowa.”
She stared over at him. “You want me to guard a hellhole in Iowa?”
“Not quite. I want to train you around hellholes, plural, in Iowa.”
“How many are there?”
“In Iowa? Or in general?”
“Both.”
“There’re three at the moment in Iowa and about twenty all over the States. Hard to keep track actually. They can pop up nearly everywhere but don’t necessarily stay. They can move around or close up if the picking’s not good.”
“Huh?”
“If there aren’t enough souls around.”
Right. Weirdest conversation ever. She had the feeling they would have a lot of those. Frowning as her mind still struggled against this new reality Lillian tried to absorb all the information.
“So, what about the one that got away?”
A muscle jumped in his jaw. “The demon leading the attack.”
Ah shit. “The evil, sexy guy?” She had hoped it had been one of the others. But of course, it kind of figured. He seemed the type that would sneak out the backdoor while his buddies became black ooze on her parents’ hardwood floor.
Raz shot her a sideway glance. “You find him sexy?”
Her brow knitted as she called an image of the guy back to mind. “No and yes. Since he didn’t give me a name it was just what I called him in my head. You know, in contrast to the ugly whatever-they-were also present. He was good-looking. A little too good and too hot actually. Everything about him seemed evil and calculated.” Realization hit. “Ah, let me guess. Being seduced by him equals losing one’s soul or something?”
The angel’s face nearly made a Christmas tree look bleak as he smiled at her. Lillian had never seen him do more than frown or scowl and discovering that Raz had the cutest hint of a dimple on his right cheek, had her swallowing. Wow. Talk about hidden assets.
“Exactly. Incubus. He flew out of there the moment I got there.” He looked at her as if there might be chance for her to survive the next day. “Not bad at all. Really, not bad at all.”
Lillian tried to smile back but was sure it didn’t look like it. Thinking about the demon had her thinking about Amber as well. “Did you just say ‘flew’? He had wings?”
“He’s an Ebony. Kind of your counterpart. We’ll get back to that later once we start your training.”
“What was that thing he used to…kill her with? I kinda assumed angels couldn’t die.” And what a kick to the gut finding out the truth had been.
Raz focused his attention back on the road and explained in a serious tone, “The weapon he used is the only thing that can kill us. Angels as well as Ivorys. The dagger is called shadow dagger or shade.” He glanced at her. “Does the name Abaddon sound familiar to you?”
“Actually, yes.” A crease formed between her brows as Lillian tried to remember what she had read about Abaddon. “It’s not quite clear whether he’s an angel, or the Devil himself. He’s also called the Destroyer.”
The angel nodded. “Yeah. Abaddon is an angel, whether fallen or not is for God to decide. The Bible calls him the destroyer, the angel of the abyss, or the angel of the bottomless pit since he holds the key to the pit that held locusts and well, evil. T
he bottomless pit is a chaotic, evil place where blackness reigns, contrary to hell that is also evil but lawful in its own way. Thing is, when the pit was opened not only prisoners but also some of its darkness escaped.”
Lillian nodded slowly as understanding dawned. “The shadow daggers are made out of some of the blackness of that pit.”
“Exactly. It’s the perfect weapon against us, the princes and sons of light.”
Then Raz surprised her by swiftly pulling over and stopping at the side of the road before getting out of the car.
Wondering what was going on she quickly followed him and demanded, “What is it? Why are we stopping?”
“We just crossed over and for what’s coming now we better stop talking.”
“Huh? Why?”
The question had barely been voiced as the pain hit her and clawed at her back so she nearly blacked out from it. Her back arched and felt as if it was about to snap and then she felt the skin of her upper back rip open and heard her shirt tear.
“Oh God!”
Her legs gave way, suddenly too weak to hold her, and she dropped to the ground, not even noticing the hard gravel cutting her knees and hands. Tears running down her cheeks Lillian tried to understand what the hell was going on with her. She had never felt such pain before and couldn’t hold it all inside of her anymore.
She screamed.
The worst of the pain was gone as quickly as it had come but a dull, throbbing ache remained. Breathing heavily Lillian opened her eyes and slowly returned to reality.
She was lying on the ground, face down. As she moved to sit up, she noticed two things. First, her shirt was a lot looser than before since it was shredded in the back. And two, there was a foreign weight beneath her shoulders, messing with her balance. Oh no. A bad feeling made her stomach sink like lead.
When Lillian turned her head to look over her shoulder, she saw the wings.
Raz actually had the guts to smirk, “That’s why.”
II
SPREADING MY WINGS
“The wings of angels are often found on the backs of the least likely people.”
- Eric Honeycutt
FIVE
“You…bastard!” Lillian managed to get out between clenched teeth as she tried to get up and a sharp pain pierced her spine. Her back was a white hot mess that felt as if it had been ripped apart, which apparently wasn’t far from the truth. “You could have warned me.”
“Technically I don’t have parents, so I can’t be a bastard.” His gray eyes were barely able to hide the smile in them as he squatted next to her. “Regarding the other thing. Believe me, bracing yourself for something you can’t understand only makes the matter worse. It’s better this way.”
“Says you!” When her aching body once again refused to obey her, she snapped, “Mind giving me a hand here? Jeez, I thought angels were supposed to be compassionate or something.”
Ignoring her swipe Raz pulled her to her feet. As she stood on trembling legs, the new weight at her back made the muscles in her shoulders and neck tense up, and she realized that she was the only one of the two of them with a pair of wings spreading from her back. He looked still perfectly normal.
“Where the hell are your wings?”
Only a light rustle, barely audible, and suddenly they were there. Magnificent dove gray wings. “I can will them to be there or not. That’s something you’ll learn to control in time.”
Seeing his wings so close to her she turned to have another look at her own. They were a dirty white, not blinding like Amber’s had been, but a really grayish, dirty white and would spread about as far as her outstretched arms. Raz’s were bigger, reaching well past his hands. “Well, I’m really glad you guys didn’t call us Dirty Whities or some such. Ivory sounds much more dignified.”
He smirked at her. “Just so you know they are ivory outside of purgatory.”
Lillian frowned as her eyes were still busy with the comparison and her hands clutched at her top. “Why is my shirt torn and yours not?”
“Because your wings just grew for the first time, mine not. Mine are always there and yet…not. It’s hard to explain. Don’t look at it too scientifically, just accept the facts.”
Right. Since that seemed to be the new mantra.
Something else finally registered in her brain and her head snapped up. “Wait a damn minute. Did you just say purgatory?”
She got nearly whiplash as she whirled around in a circle to take in their surroundings, and cried out as her wings got rattled by the motion and the sore muscles in her back screamed at the abuse.
Even in the darkness of the night it was so unbelievably in-your-face, she really had to question her cognitive abilities. Everything was black and white. EVERYTHING. She, Raz and the car, the road, the trees and the utterly black sky. Not a hint of color. How could she not have noticed that?
“Where the hell are we?”
“On our way to Iowa,” he replied with another smirk he didn’t even try to hide.
After everything she’d been through in not even twenty four hours, she was a hairbreadth away from throttling him. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”
“Kinda. Sometimes it’s just funny to watch what will finally make you Ivory think you’ve gone truly insane. Though let me tell you, not a lot of them get this far without a little break down.”
Lillian just stared at him, utterly speechless. “I don’t know what to say. Whenever I think we might get along and that I will get through this, you open your mouth and everything goes to hell.”
“Not hell, purgatory. Thought we established that much.” He actually grinned at her. “Come on, bookworm, you’ll get over it. So what do you know about purgatory?”
Since grinding her teeth every time he annoyed the hell out of her would probably end with her having no teeth at all pretty soon, she played along. “It’s a place where souls are purified or temporarily punished.”
“Exactly. To every hellhole, which are places of sin and sex and corruption, there’s a bubble of purgatory. To balance things out, like cyclones and anticyclones. Now, try spreading your wings.”
Lillian was still uncomfortable with the foreign weight. The wings didn’t feel as if a part of her and therefore bringing them to do anything seemed impossible. Automatically she moved her shoulders, which made the wings only twitch. Frustration and the lingering pain made her impatient.
“Stop. Don’t force it. Stretch out your arms.”
After taking a deep, calming breath she did as he asked. And felt muscles she never had felt before move along her spine as her wings spread. A rush of delight and an intoxicating sense of freedom flooded her. Wide-eyed she stared first at the feathers and then at Raz, a bubble of laughter escaping her – which he, of course, had to burst.
“That movement always works, since for some inexplicable reason humans always tend to think wings are used like arms. That stupid misconception is so common and ingrained that you Ivorys make the mistake automatically. But even in the beginning you shouldn’t do that trick too often or otherwise your brain will make a connection between your arms and wings. It’s important that you, which means your brain and body, see your wings as another part of you that is nevertheless independent. Understand?”
“Yeah.”
A spark lit his eyes. The spark of challenge, if she wasn’t mistaken. “Then put your arms down, but not the wings. They stay where they are.”
With a nod she started lowering her arms, but jerked them back up the moment she noticed her wings had started to drop as well. Dammit.
A glance at Raz confirmed her suspicions that another of his damned smirks was plastered all over his face. “See, that’s what I was talking about.”
Lillian expelled a deep breath, as if preparing for some masterly performance and a small, distant part of her felt ridiculous for it but the one part that wanted to wipe the smirk of a certain angel’s face didn’t care. She could do this. Her eyes went to her right hand a
nd then she closed them, trying to concentrate on the muscles in her back that were used by her wings. Then the ones keeping up her arms, which wasn’t that hard since her arms were getting heavy. The muscles along her spine had to stay tense, but not the others, along her arms and down her side, those were the ones she could relax. At least she hoped so.
She did it slowly, not once opening her eyes and trying to keep that foreign tension along her spine. At first she managed it, but then as her muscles relaxed more and more the ones keeping her wings spread did as well. Shit.
Raz didn’t smirk for once. “You know what the problem is?” he stepped closer. “You want to see your wings as part of your body although you never even touched them. You touch your skin, your arms, your legs, your hair. You’re conscious of them and they’re a part of you. But not your wings. Your brain, and therefore you, still sees them as some sort of back pack.”
His gray eyes stayed on hers, their gazes locked, as he reached around her with his arms and touched her new wings.
She gasped. Lillian hadn’t thought it possible for them to be so sensitive. One could feel a hand in one’s hair, but mostly it was just the pressure and warmth on the skull. This was different. She could sense Raz’s hands running along the feathers and over the bend of her wings, and though the soft pressure hurt the sore roots at her spine it felt like the caress of warm water. He applied some more pressure on the outer tips and her wings folded behind her back. The sensation was as weird and foreign as spreading them had been. And yet…not.
Raz drew away his hands and stepped back.
“Now you’ll fit in a little better.” He motioned towards the car. “Get in. We’ve still got a long way ahead of us.”
Right. Lillian swallowed as she watched him climb behind the wheel. For her his touching her wings had felt more intimate than stroking her hair would have been. Though for all she knew that could be due to the fact that they were new and therefore more sensitive. Shrugging the thoughts away she got into the car.
Ivory Guard Page 4