“No, not on itself, but you keep forgetting your other arm and that’s bad.”
“Oh. Right. Thanks, man.”
He nodded, then took in the whole group. “Now, let’s see what you can do as a team against me.”
The words had barely registered with them when he willed his wings to life and summoned his sword – sans flames for now – and faced the four of them. A wink and quick smile was all the warning they got and then he was on them.
It was as he expected.
Joshua nudged the others aside, and not to get the others out of harm’s way, but in a macho wanna-be alpha male move that solely served to put him first. Pecking order - it was clear it was quickly becoming an issue they would have to work on not only outside of a fight but during one. And fast, or otherwise they all would be dead very soon. That one dumb move disturbed the whole group’s motivation and energy in a way that the others were frowning at Joshua and not the fake enemy with the big-ass sword in hand. Fatal mistake!
Raz dropped his weapon, moving out of his fighting stance, and scowled at the boy. He really started to get on his nerves. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing? This is a team. And you aren’t the leader, Lillian is. If one decides to step forward in a fight, it’s her, not you. If one wants to engage first, it’s her, not you. Think you can squeeze that in your thick skull before you get the lot of you killed?”
Embarrassment at being this openly reprimanded made Joshua’s face darken. Inside, his kicked male pride was fuming. Arms crossed over his chest, feet apart, he stood before the rest of his team not once glancing at them. “What makes her so special anyway? Why is she the leader? Who got to make that decision?”
Lillian stepped forward, opening her mouth to say something, but Raz cut in, “What do you say, we show them why you’re their leader?”
The words were out of his mouth before he could think too hard about them, but he had no problem living up to them. Quite the contrary, Raz suddenly realized. He was sick of her silent treatment and maybe this was exactly what both of them needed. And what her team needed.
Yeah, he really liked this idea more and more. His eyes glinted with the thrill of anticipation and his voice was a bit darker than he wanted it to be. “Or are you too chicken, stargazer?”
He looked expectantly at Lillian.
Lillian watched Raz, noticing the challenging gleam in his storm gray eyes. She understood his reason, at least part of it. The way Joshua was sticking to his cave-men views was becoming more and more of a problem, she knew that and was trying to find a solution for it. Though whether fighting Raz would be it, she wasn’t so sure. She probably would have to kick his ass to get a spark of respect out of Joshua – and Raz better not hold back or otherwise it was all for nothing.
The thing was…she had no idea why she was the leader either but somehow had quickly come to terms with it. It wasn’t something she considered to be a choice. Others needed her, depended on her, and so she would be there for them. They needed her to lead, then that’s what she would do. To her it was as simple as that.
Now her instincts were telling her that this wasn’t a good idea, to let it drop and to just continue to spar with her team. But the woman in her wanted to punch the arrogant angel’s all-too-beautiful face and welcomed this opportunity. For the last three weeks they had tried to avoid each other, though truth be told, circling each other was more like it. She was still furious at him about the kiss. About his rejection. It hurt her heart - and yes, her pride hadn’t been too happy about it either. And yet, he drew her, like a moth to a flame.
The woman in her won.
“Me, too chicken? Never.” She moved forward to face him in the yard. Knowing this fight was not only about skill but also a lot of show, she summoned her wings and her sword as well.
A saccharine smile on her lips, she baited, “Bring it on cherub.”
His eyes flashed. You did not just call me that.
She winked back at him. Oh yes, I did.
He attacked.
She held her ground, met him blow for blow, parried or retreated when necessary, until pride sparked in Raz’s eyes. They pushed themselves and the other, and enjoyed every second of it as the world and audience around them ceased to exist. Their swords sang of what neither had wanted to confess or face, sang of wounded pride and feelings, desire that shouldn’t burn.
Then blood flowed, and reality returned. She had cut him along his thigh but it didn’t seem to faze him.
Raz straightened and motioned for Joshua to join them. “The two of you against me.”
Raz upped the stakes. His movements a fast and hot whirl as he covered his sword in flames. Naturally Joshua, two daggers in hand, tried to dominate the fight, focusing hard on Raz and not on the one person who stood by his side. Lillian gritted her teeth and simply let her sword speak.
But apparently that wasn’t aggressive enough a tactic for Raz – or Joshua had really gotten on his nerves. His eyes glowed with barely checked fury as he engaged Joshua in a swirl of metal that the Ivory wasn’t able to follow.
Time stopped as Lillian watched Joshua stumble, losing his balance, and suddenly a blow that could have been easily parried turned into something lethal. Eager to cut him in two the flaming blade was heading for Joshua who seemed to have stopped moving. Without thinking Lillian threw herself into the path blocking the sword only after it got a bite out of her. It could have done much worse damage, but Raz stopped the lethal downward blow just in time with a control that was as incredible as it was frightening.
Swords disappeared, the fight stopped and except for their heavy breathing, silence reigned. Then Matt and Abby were at their sides, eyes wide.
Lillian examined her upper arm, where blood welled quickly. Damn, a simple band-aid wouldn’t do it this time.
She turned to give Joshua a hand since he had fallen on his ass and noticed that his eyes held the glassy hint of shock. When she opened her mouth to speak she was once again cut off by Raz. In a blink her blood boiled, her eyes shooting daggers at him.
But Raz was too busy leaning closer and locking gazes with Joshua to notice, his eyes almost glinting silver with intensity. “To answer your questions. She’s the leader because she learns fast, isn’t afraid to face her fears and surpasses herself. She’s even willing to sacrifice herself for a jerk like you. But most of all because she keeps a clear head, no matter the situation, and I can guarantee you that will save your ass more than once.”
Lillian motioned for Matt and Abby to bring Joshua inside, which left her alone with Raz to clean up their training equipment. When she bent to retrieve the weapons the others had used, Raz ‘s big hand wound around her arm, sending an unwanted shiver up her skin.
“Leave it. We need to have a look at the cut.”
The bleeding had slowed but not stopped, so Lillian didn’t protest when Raz led her to the porch and made her sit down on the steps.
After a quick dash inside, he returned with a first-aid kit and settled down beside her, his eyes focused and concentrated. His mouth was a hard line, which didn’t even make him any less attractive and gave him a more dangerous edge instead – as if he needed it.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
She was still fuming inside, so she clipped. “I know.” After she expelled a big lungful of breath that did nothing to ease her pent-up anger, she demanded, “What the hell was that?”
“It was a simple attack, easy to block, if the guy hadn’t stumbled.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
Gray eyes flicked to hers as he frowned.
She gritted her teeth as his gentle, capable hands cleansed her wound and concentrated on the acrid scent of chemicals that hit her nose. “Like you said, I’m the leader so why didn’t you let me handle this situation instead of overriding me at every turn?”
Storm clouds churned in the gray. “Because that boy needed more than words today. Because those obviously didn’t get thro
ugh to him. He needed a lesson and he got one.”
His fingers were butterflies. Warm, feathery touches dancing across her skin, and she clenched her fist, her nails biting into the flesh of her palm, to ignore the effect his touch had on her and to keep a grip on her anger and herself. “Oh really? I’m surprised since usually your words are as sharp as your sword.”
His low, deep timbre of a voice whispered over her. “We still talking about the training, stargazer?”
They both very well knew she wasn’t and so she saw no point in answering. The air sparked as they stared at each other, heating the few inches separating them. His gaze dropped to her mouth. She shivered. And it made her furious.
Her eyes narrowed and in a deadpan tone she remarked, “Mixed signals, much?”
Like that the heat of desire and anticipation snapped, transforming into sizzling anger laced with awareness which was a lot less confusing to handle.
Raz focused on bandaging her wound. “Ever wondered about my wings?”
“Your wings?”
“Amber’s and even Maion’s are blindingly white, mine not. Ever asked yourself why?”
“Of course.” Hesitating slightly she continued, “Most stories say darkened wings indicate…the Fallen. But…obviously you aren’t one of them or they wouldn’t let you train us, right?” Lillian searched his eyes.
His hands dropped away from her arm after one last brush, and he stood tucking his hands into his pockets. A line of worry formed between his eyes and a muscle ticked in his strong jaw. “Mysteries, knowledge and secrets…aren’t always pretty, happy things, so most of the gray is a simple side effect of my, let’s call it angelic specialty, but it also means that I’m standing much closer to the edge than others.”
“And what makes an angel fall of that edge?”
He looked directly at her, his gaze intense and piercing. “Emotions. They can pull you down or give you wings, they can make you win against the odds. Emotions can be your strongest motivation and change everything, whereas for angels most of them mean their downfall. We aren’t supposed to feel more than a fleeting compassion for humans…and Ivorys.”
Lillian stared as his words clicked into place, as their deeper meaning settled inside of her and made her heart ache.
TWELVE
Lillian stepped outside onto the porch. Night had settled turning the purgatory sky into a breathtaking star dusted canopy. Joshua was standing at the end of the porch, looking up as he took a pull from the cigarette between his fingers before releasing the smoke to let it mingle with the night. Since his profile was to her she took a moment to study him. Dark hair kept short in a faux-hawk style, a good face with a strong jaw and a sculpted body that he filled out with ease. The woman in her could appreciate the sight and knew that in a few more years he would be certain death to everything female.
The night was quiet, the chirp of crickets and the soft whisper of chatter floating from the house the only sound around them. Abby and Matt were inside, tied down with kitchen duty, and Raz had taken off to run an errand.
Joshua had been quiet ever since their training session and had barely eaten. Lillian walked over to him. When he noticed her he stubbed out his smoke before flicking it away.
Lillian nearly sighed inwardly. The guy was a walking contradiction; one moment the cave-man macho and the next a gentleman who didn’t want to bother her with his cigarette smoke. She suspected his parents weren’t exactly the perfect role model for a healthy relationship and their different views obviously fought within him. Lillian could only hope that one day he would come out on the other side.
Coming to stand beside him she leaned her head back to scan the sky. After a while she asked in a low voice, “You okay?”
“I should ask you that.” He rammed his hands into his pockets, fumbling with something inside of them. “You took a hit for me.”
“Just a small cut, it will heal.” She shot him a glance. “You know that Raz didn’t mean to hurt anyone, right?”
“Yeah. I know he would have stopped the blade before…” He couldn’t bring himself to say it, and looked back at the stars. “But knowing that…it doesn’t change a thing. For one slow-motion moment, that took a fucking eternity, I only saw that flaming blade heading for me.” Joshua suddenly turned to face her, frowning at her as if at a total loss. “Why the hell did you do it? Why did you jump into that? Especially given the way I treated you.”
Lillian took her time to answer. “Because, even if you were a stranger, I couldn’t just stand by. If there is the slightest possibility, the slightest chance to change things, or in this case to save someone, then why shouldn’t I take it? I cannot not take it. It has nothing to do with us being Ivorys or a team.” She shrugged, a small, helpless smile on her lips and in her eyes. “It’s just the way I am, I guess. It’s like helping a dog at the side of the road.” Grimacing she bit back a laugh. “Sorry, bad example. But you get what I mean.”
Joshua nodded slowly, as if carefully taking it in, and then turned to gaze at the stars once more. He swallowed, licking his lips. “My father is an old-fashioned kind of guy. Regarding women. He’s all for survival of the fittest, which women really aren’t - in his world, I mean. So they need men to take care of them. Helping a dog on the road is female sentimentality and an utter weakness in his eyes.” His dark eyes flicked to her, a calmer twinkle now once again lighting them from within. “You’d drive him nuts.”
Lillian smiled back at him, taking it as the compliment and flag of truce it was.
Later that same night, she lay in her sleeping bag, with Abby tucked into her own facing her.
Abby asked into the silence of their room, “How is Joshua doing?”
“Good.” Lillian filled her in on what had transpired on the porch, a warm happiness covering her like a blanket at the memory.
“Ah, I’m glad to hear that. He’s the typical Rocher…you know, hard and crunchy with a soft core and strong heart. Damn, I would kill for some Ferreros.”
Lillian laughed. “You better not tell him that he reminds you of candy. That might be a little too much too soon.”
“Probably.” Abby grinned and then moaned as she tried to roll into a comfortable position on her side. “I never knew I had so many muscles waiting to be tortured. Tell me again why we can’t just…close those damn hellholes?”
Lillian hid a yawn behind her hand. She was exhausted, the day a rollercoaster of ups and downs. Whenever she had been thinking that everything was alright something had come along to knock her down. “I could say it’s against the rules but most importantly it’s all about balance. Hellholes are purgatory’s counterpart. You can’t close them, the same as they can’t stop souls going through purgatory. Both are needed.”
“Which leaves us with no other possibility than keeping the demons in line and to make pickings as difficult as possible for them.”
“Exactly.”
Abby sighed and then started to giggle, but in a sleepy kind of way. “My brain still insists on telling me it’s weird to talk about stuff like that. I mean, demons and angels and souls. And yet, to me in general, it kind of seems almost…right, you know?”
Lillian snorted. “Yeah, I know! We should be talking about college and classes and mixers and guys. But no, here we are once again talking about heaven and the fiery fires of hell instead. And I don’t feel exactly uncomfortable either. We are fucked-up.”
“Indeed. We are.” Abby wiggled a finger at her, “Though we still can talk about guys.” One perfect bow of an eyebrow arched suggestively as her warm eyes twinkled with a little wicked mischief. For one frighteningly long heartbeat Lillian feared Abby would ask her about Raz but instead Abby wondered, “Did you break some guy’s heart by heading of to join the angel army?”
Lillian snorted. “No, not really.” She frowned as she tried to explain, “The guys I hang out with at school were only ever just that. Guys I hang out with, never more than that. Boyfriend material? Just couldn’t
see them that way. And regarding other boys. Well, I didn’t exactly chase them like other members of our sex, though I didn’t run away either, mind you. I just wanted…”
Abby snapped her fingers. “Someone that catches your attention?”
“Exactly. I wasn’t looking for true love and crying violins, just a connection, a little spark that would assure me he’d still respect and look at me the next day.”
“And did you find him?”
Lillian nodded. “Aaron. He was visiting family in town over Christmas since his own parents were off to South America.” With a grin she added. “He came back during the summer.” Then she moved her elbow under her head and smiled, probably the same glint in her eyes that Abby had had. “What about you?”
“Me? Well.” Abby sighed, her big, expressive eyes sad for a moment before gaining an angry edge. “I had a boyfriend back home.” Back home for Abby was a small town near Chicago. “I knew him since I was twelve years old. We’ve always hung out together, and with his brother who was only a year older than us. One afternoon, we were sixteen, the status quo changed. Out of the blue.” She frowned, a sweet frown as memories sucked her in. “And yet it felt so obvious and natural. We’d been lying on my bed, just like we always did, and watching Troy. He picked the movie that day or otherwise we would have been watching Dirty Dancing 2. Anyway, the love scene?”
Lillian nodded, not quite able to hide the grin from spreading across her face.
“Suddenly there was all this sexual energy not just in the movie but all around us, between us.” Abby burst out laughing, rubbing a hand over her face. “God, that first time…was a fumbling disaster.”
Lillian joined in the laughter.
“But then…the next times? Not bad at all. Not bad at all! Two years, we’d been together.” Then Abby looked at her, the room a quiet cocoon around them. “A couple of days before I ran into Maion, I found out he was seeing another girl. Behind my back.”
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