by Alex Strong
“Good luck,” he whispered.
“Thank you.”
She stuffed the envelope in her purse and climbed into the car while Tom watched. It wasn’t until she was pulling away that he finally turned to re-board the plane.
The rain had subsided by the time the car pulled up to the building, and the driver offered to carry the bags for her, but she declined. Time to get used to doing things herself again.
As he pulled away, she stared up at the drab brick building. The whole block looked gray compared to what she had just left behind.
The apartment was empty since Ginny was still at work, and Karina dragged her bags into the bedroom that she didn’t remember being so tiny. How could one month have changed her perception so drastically? She sunk onto her bed and took a deep breath before lying back onto the pillow, curling into a ball. Instinctively she reached for her neck only to be reminded that the necklace was no longer there. A sob caught in her throat, but she sat up, fighting it back. She needed to do something. She wasn’t going to sit here and cry over him. Damien didn’t deserve any more of her time.
The newest suitcase, a Louis Vuitton courtesy of Damien, was packed full of the clothes and shoes she had been showered with while in Miami. She shoved this suitcase in the corner of her closet without even opening it and worked at putting her real life back where it belonged. She was putting away the last of her items when she heard the key in the door and braced herself to face Ginny.
Karina walked into the living room just as Ginny closed the door.
“Karina!” she squealed, dropping her bag onto the floor and hugging Karina. “When did you get home?”
“About an hour ago,” Karina muttered into her ear.
Ginny released her and pulled her over to the couch. “You have to tell me everything!” Ginny jumped up. “Wait, let me grab the wine. You wouldn’t believe the day I’ve had at work,” she said, heading into the kitchen. “This is exactly what I need to take my mind off of it.”
Karina sat on the couch staring at her hands while Ginny poured two glasses and walked back in with them.
“Did you have an amazing time?” she asked, handing Karina a glass. “I bet you didn’t want to come home.”
Karina put a hand over her face, unable to stop the tears.
“What’s wrong?” Ginny asked, taking the glass back and setting it on the coffee table. “Karina, what happened?”
“I fell in love with him,” Karina managed to choke out.
“You what? I don’t understand. I thought nothing was going on between you two.”
Karina shook her head, trying to wipe away some of the tears.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Ginny asked, frowning.
“Because I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t sure I understood what was happening.”
“You mean you did sleep with him?”
Karina nodded.
“You lied to me?”
“No!” Karina said. “Nothing happened in the beginning.”
“I’m so confused,” Ginny said, shaking her head.
“Join the club,” Karina said, grabbing her wine from the table and taking a swig.
“So you’re in love with him now, even though you didn’t want to go with him in the first place.” Karina nodded. “But he doesn’t feel the same even though he’s the one who dragged you down there?”
“I don’t know,” Karina mumbled.
“What do you mean?”
“I think—I think he feels the same about me. He wanted me to go to school down there.”
Ginny started rubbing her temple. “I don’t understand what the problem is then.”
“Apparently he doesn’t believe in love,” Karina said bitterly. “And I won’t uproot my life for a man who isn’t entirely sure what he wants.”
“Cheers to that,” Ginny said with a sympathetic smile.
Karina tilted her glass toward Ginny before downing the last of the wine.
“I need a shower,” she said, taking her glass to the kitchen sink. “And then I’m crawling into bed. I already called the shop to let them know I’m back, and they want me to open tomorrow.”
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Ginny asked.
“What am I supposed to do?”
“Maybe take a day or two. Wait until you feel better.”
“He already took thirty days from me,” said Karina. “I’m not giving him any more.”
“Okay,” Ginny said softly, nodding.
Karina took her shower and crawled into bed, where she didn’t get much sleep. She never imagined how much she would miss sharing a bed with someone. With Damien.
The first day back at work went just as Karina expected—long and miserable. Everyone kept commenting on her tan, but thanks to the cloud of melancholy surrounding her, no one questioned if she had really been dealing with a family emergency.
There were only fifteen minutes left until she could head home to crawl back under her covers when her father walked in.
“Dad!” she said, walking up to him from where she had been restocking the creamers and napkins. “What are you doing here?”
“Your mother said she got a text saying you were back,” he said. “Was hoping you and I could talk.”
“Of course. I’m off soon, but let me see if I can clock out early.”
Since it was slow and Michael believed her to still be grieving—technically she was, just not in the way everyone suspected—he gave her the okay. She grabbed her stuff and walked out with her dad.
“There’s a park around the corner,” he said. “Why don’t we find a bench there.”
“All right.”
Karina followed him, nervous about what they would say to each other. Other than the text she sent her mom last night, she hadn’t really spoken to her parents since New York.
“Why did you really go to Miami?” he asked once they were seated. “Was it because of Damien Bishop?”
She nodded.
“You weren’t working for the coffee shop then?”
“No,” she said, slumping her shoulders.
“Why did you lie to us? Why the secrecy? And why the hell did that man pay all our bills?”
Karina sighed. “I really did meet him at the coffee shop—that part was true. Up here though. He asked me out and I said no.”
“So when you didn’t want to,” her father said, his face reddening, “he decided to bribe you?”
“I did want to, though,” she told him. “I wanted to say yes. But I told him I had to say no because I had too much going on right now. Between mom and work and trying to go back to school….”
“Sweetie, have you been putting your life on hold this whole time?”
She shrugged. “I wanted to be there for you guys.”
“Oh Karina, I had no idea. Your mother and I never wanted that for you.”
“Damien offered to help. Except instead of dinner, he requested I stay with him for a month in exchange.”
“And you didn’t find that alarming?” her father asked with a frown.
“I did,” she said. “But I didn’t think it was something he could possibly pull off. I agreed, thinking the whole thing was a joke. The next day I realized what a fool I was and decided to contact him and say never mind.” She looked down at her hands. “But before I got a chance, mom called. And she was so happy.”
“She was, wasn’t she,” her father said, and she looked up at him. “It was like a huge burden had been lifted off her shoulders.”
“I decided a month was nothing compared to what you two had been through the past year.”
“You can’t really think that,” he said, disgusted.
“It wasn’t like that though,” she said, raising her eyebrows. “Damien was a complete gentleman. I had my own room and was free to do whatever I wanted.”
“Why did he take you down there then?”
“Honestly, I’m not sure. To get to know me better, I suppose.” She could feel the
lump forming in her throat.
“Are you going to see him again?” Ron asked.
Karina shook her head, tears threatening to spill.
“He let me go, Dad. I fell in love with him, and he let me go when the month was over.”
Ron wrapped an arm around her shoulder. “That’s no gentleman, Sweetie.”
Neither of them said anything while she cried on her father’s shoulder. Finally, Karina sat up and wiped her eyes.
“Enough of this,” she said. “I’m done crying over him.”
“That’s my girl,” said Ron, but with a frown.
Karina hugged her father.
“And I’m sorry I called you a…,” he said as she pulled away. “I’m sorry for what I said in New York.”
“It’s okay,” she told him. “I should’ve told you what was really going on.”
They stood, and Karina walked him to his car.
“Do me a favor,” Ron said as he unlocked it.
“What’s that?”
“Don’t forget to live your life. I know how easy it is to wait until things get better. But if you wait too long, you might miss out on some amazing stuff.”
“Thanks for the advice,” she said with a smile.
“Anytime,” he said. “And don’t be afraid to talk to us.”
“I won’t. Not anymore. I promise.”
She hugged him one more time and watched him drive away before walking back to her apartment.
For the next two days, Karina managed not to lose it, despite the tears constantly threatening to spill. But then came her first day off since getting back, and she discovered what a distraction work had been.
It was a weekday, so even Ginny wasn’t around to keep Karina’s mind off Damien. She just needed time to dull the pain, and rather than sit around all day, she headed out to the library to print out the application forms now that funding her education was a sure thing.
As she waited impatiently for the printer to spit out the papers, she wondered how difficult it would be to get through school knowing that he had made it possible.
It wouldn’t have to be, she realized. The cashier’s check for tuition was still in her purse. She could send it back and revert to her original plan of scholarships and working it off herself. Surely the offer to move back in with her parents still stood. And then she remembered why her parents were able to make that offer.
“Dammit,” she muttered, grabbing the stack of papers. Reminders of Damien were everywhere.
She took the scenic route home, and as she walked into her apartment, her phone started ringing. Karina didn’t recognize the number, but she knew the area code was Miami.
“Hello?” she asked cautiously.
“Karina. It’s Tom.”
“Tom? Is everything okay?” Panic swept through her. “Did something happen to Damien?”
“No, no, no. Damien’s fine. Well, sort of.”
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“I’m sorry, Karina. I was wrong.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I was wrong,” he repeated. “I was wrong about how he felt. I never imagined—”
“Tom, what the hell is going on?” she asked, dropping onto the couch. “Why are you calling me?”
“Damien’s been a mess ever since you left. He’s completely unhinged. He’s unproductive and keeps snapping at everyone to do their jobs.” He paused and took a deep breath before continuing. “I don’t think he’s sleeping.”
“What do you want me to do about it?” she asked.
“I think you should come back. Or at least call him.”
“Does he know you’re calling me?”
“God no. He’d probably fire me if he knew I was talking to you.”
“Where is he now?”
“He’s outside. Just sitting on that damn boat, doing nothing.”
She massaged her forehead. “I don’t know what to tell you, Tom.”
“You could make this better, Karina. You can fix him.”
“He knows what he needs to do if he wants me to come back,” she said. “It’s easy.”
“Not for him.”
“Tough shit. If it’s important enough, if I’m important enough, he’ll find a way to say the words.”
“I don’t think he knows how to.”
“I can’t do this, Tom.”
“Karina—”
“I need you not to call me anymore.” She hung up the phone and broke down all over again.
“Have you decided what you’re going to wear?” Ginny asked, peeking her head in Karina’s room.
“No,” Karina groaned from where she was lying lengthwise across her bed. “I changed my mind, I’m not going out.”
“Yes you are,” Ginny said as she walked in and started rifling through Karina’s closet. “It’s Saturday night and you can’t just hang out here by yourself.”
“I do it all the time.”
Ginny sighed as she stopped what she was doing and came to sit on the bed.
“I think it will be good for you to get out,” she said in a soothing voice. “You’re just going to make yourself more miserable by sitting here wallowing in it.”
Karina forced herself to sit up. “You’re right.”
“Yay!” Ginny cheered, giving her a hug.
The idea of socializing did not appeal to Karina at all, but Ginny did her best to keep the mood upbeat as they got ready, and by the time they walked out the door an hour later, Karina felt her spirits improving.
The two of them were halfway down the stairs, laughing at something Ginny had said, when someone walked in the building entrance, causing Karina to stop short.
“What’s the—” but Ginny didn’t have to finish when she saw who had come in.
“What are you doing here?” Karina asked Damien, who was standing at the door, looking up at her.
“I need to talk to you,” he said.
Karina’s heart raced. There was only one reason he would come all this way to talk to her.
“I was just headed out,” she said, not willing to make it easy for him.
“I see that.”
“I could meet you there,” Ginny said.
Karina didn’t respond. She wasn’t sure if she trusted herself to be alone with him. But Ginny took her silence as agreement and rushed down the stairs to slip past Damien and out the door. Still Karina said nothing while Damien climbed the stairs to where she was standing.
“I miss you,” he whispered.
Karina shook her head. “Why are you here?” she asked.
“I told you, I want to talk to you. I need to explain.”
To explain. To explain why he had to let her go, she imagined.
“You can’t do this to me, Damien,” she said, her voice cracking.
“Please,” he pleaded.
She sighed before turning around and heading back up the stairs with him following her. He stood right behind her as she unlocked the door, and the heat of his body brought back so many memories. Memories she didn’t need to be thinking about if she was going to protect her heart.
They walked in, and Damien shut the door behind him.
“What is it you wanted to say?” she asked, turning to face him while leaving enough space between them.
He stood there by the door, staring at the ground.
“I rehearsed it so many times in my head the past few days,” he said. “And now….”
“This is exactly what I was afraid of,” she said, reaching around him for the door.
“Wait,” he said, grabbing her arm. “You kept asking why I wanted you in Miami with me, and I wasn’t able to give an answer.”
“Tell me something I don’t know,” she said, wrenching her arm from his grip, and he frowned.
“When I came into the coffee shop that morning,” he said, “the line was long. And as I looked at the front of it, trying to decide if I should just send Tom in, I saw you. I continued to watch you as the line pr
ogressed, laughing and smiling with the customers. It was mesmerizing.” He touched her face, and this time she didn’t stop him. “Then you turned around and our eyes locked, and it was as if the world stood still. I couldn’t understand it.”
Karina could still remember that moment when she first saw Damien like it was yesterday. It had literally taken her breath away.
“After I left,” he continued. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I even went back the next morning, but you weren’t there.”
“I closed that night,” she said, and he nodded.
“I grabbed a business card on my way out. Not really sure why, but it made me feel connected to you somehow.”
“I saw it,” she said. “By your bed.”
He nodded again before continuing.
“When I ran into you outside the library, I decided I wasn’t going to let you slip through my fingers this time. And even though you declined my invitation to dinner, I knew you had felt something too. You didn’t try to pull your hand away when I impulsively grabbed it,” he said, moving his hand from her face to her hand, lacing his fingers through hers. “I hoped that meant something, so I came back that night and you explained your situation. Somewhat. I thought if I offered to help and you accepted, then you must be feeling something as well.”
Karina remembered how pained Damien had been when she told him in New York that she had been going to change her mind. It all made sense now.
“I had seen your full name on one of the papers you dropped,” he explained. “Since you were looking at graduate programs, I knew you must have already been a student, so I started with the same school and immediately found you. And then you agreed to my proposition. But you made yourself sick that first night,” he said as his face twisted into something else. “And I was worried about you, and even that emotion surprised me. It occurred to me that you drank so much because you were afraid of me, so I gave you space. It’s the only reason I ran off to LA. I could’ve handled everything from home. I thought maybe I had been wrong about you,” he said, shaking his head. “That you hadn’t agreed because you wanted to be with me, but because of what I was doing for you. That you were like everyone else. And it was breaking my heart.” He sighed before continuing. “But when I came home, you came downstairs. Just being in the same room with you reminded me how much I wanted you. And you no longer seemed afraid of me.”