by Sophie Love
“Sorry, sweetheart,” she whispered to her stomach.
As she did so, it occurred to her that she wasn’t alone, not really. Not while Charlotte grew inside of her. The thought was comforting.
Daniel came back into the kitchen then. “Okay, I’ve called the contractors to say I won’t be onsite until after lunch. Are you ready?”
His tone was short. Emily almost wanted to retort that she didn’t need him to come, but she knew she was being childish.
Instead, she stood and gathered her purse.
They went out through the corridor, and Emily could hear Professor Vaughn in the dining room complaining loudly over the consistency of his fried egg as they passed.
Out in the parking lot, they got into Daniel’s pickup truck. He was silent, his expression dark as he drove them along the driveway and out onto the street.
Emily looked glumly out the window at Trevor’s house as they passed. The lawn was filled with the machinery needed to redo the garden, though there was no one currently onsite to operate it. She tried to remind herself that managing both projects must be very stressful for Daniel, but at the same time she didn’t think it was fair for him to take it out on her, or make her feel so worried about whether he even wanted the baby or not.
They didn’t speak the entire drive to Doctor Arkwright’s. Daniel seemed completely lost in his thoughts.
“Careful, that light’s turning red,” Emily said when she thought he wasn’t paying enough attention.
“I can see that,” he replied tersely, slowing the truck to a halt at the traffic signal.
Emily felt herself grow even more irritated with him.
They reached the office and Daniel parked in the lot. As they walked across to the doors, Emily caught him checking his phone. Considering Daniel usually was awful with technology it was extra infuriating to her that he would be preoccupied with it now.
The receptionist signed them in on the computer and directed them to one of the rooms down the hall. Emily felt far more at ease in the medical environment now, though not completely without anxiety. The smell still bothered her, with its clinicalness that reminded her of the time when Trevor passed away. Thinking about Trevor set of a chain reaction of thoughts in her mind, leading her to her father, to the fact she was soon to lose him too. Unhappiness seemed to crowd in at her from all sides like a black cloud of despair.
Doctor Arkwright entered and Emily’s gaze snapped up. She shook her hand and greeted her in her kind yet efficient manner.
“How has it all been going?” she asked, taking her seat.
Emotion threatened to choke Emily. She swallowed and forced her mind away from the darkness. “It’s been fine,” she said. “The morning sickness is a bit relentless.”
“That’s normal,” Doctor Arkwright said, “though unpleasant. Eat blander foods if possible and make sure you’re staying hydrated after you’re sick.” She turned and read some notes off her computer. “Okay, so we’re here for some blood tests.”
“We are?” Emily said, surprised. She hadn’t realized that was what the appointment was for.
“Yes, this is the quadruple test,” Doctor Arkwright said. “It’s to measure certain proteins and hormones in your blood which might indicate that your baby has genetic abnormalities.”
Emily felt her face drain of warmth. How had this slipped her mind? How had she not even been thinking about this test? She’d gotten too ahead of herself with excitement. She hadn’t even had the full range of tests yet to make sure Charlotte was healthy.
“What happens if there’s something wrong with her?” Emily asked, hearing her voice tremble. She looked over at Daniel, feeling fearful. By his expression she concluded he didn’t share the same fears as her.
“You’d be offered an amniocentesis diagnostic test,” the doctor explained. “But we’re getting a little ahead of ourselves. Let’s just draw your blood first, shall we?”
Emily presented her arm for Doctor Arkwright, who cleaned her inner elbow with antiseptic and prepared the needle.
“How long will the results take to come in?” Emily asked, wincing as the needle slid into her arm.
“About a week,” the doctor replied.
A week seemed like a very long time for Emily to stew on the results of such an important test. She looked up at Daniel to see that he was frowning at his phone.
“Can you please pay attention?” she snapped across the office at him.
The atmosphere in the room changed instantly. Daniel looked up. Even Doctor Arkwright tensed.
“It’s Lois,” Daniel replied. “The contractors haven’t shown up.”
Emily wanted to scream at him, “So what?” How could he even care about contractors at a time like this! How could he care more about the renovations at Trevor’s house than his pregnant wife? But she didn’t. She bit her lip and focused on the sharp pain of the needle drawing her blood.
“All done,” Doctor Arkwright said.
She sat back down and scribbled labels onto each of the four vials of blood she’d taken from Emily. At the sight of them, Emily felt instantly woozy. She rubbed her forehead. It felt clammy.
Doctor Arkwright observed her, a slight frown on her head. “Are you feeling faint, Emily?” she asked.
Emily nodded, the world swirling as she did.
“Let me take your blood pressure.”
Doctor Arkwright attached the cuff to Emily’s arm and started the machine. Emily felt an unpleasant squeezing sensation in her upper arm that grew tighter and tighter. Then finally there was a bleep and the pressure was released.
Doctor Arkwright studied the little slip of paper that printed out of the machine. “Hmm, your blood pressure is a little low for my liking.”
“Is that bad?”
“Not necessarily,” the doctor explained. “It’s certainly very common. Make sure you’re drinking lots of fluids and you could increase your salt intake a little. And of course, make sure you’re taking things easy.” She leaned forward in her chair then, looking Emily straight in the eye. “How are your stress levels?”
Emily knew that she was referring to the fact she’d just barked at Daniel. She felt embarrassed that he’d put her in such a position, made her give off the wrong impression to the doctor.
“Work has been a bit difficult recently,” Emily confessed.
“Anything else that might be worth noting?” Doctor Arkwright pressed.
Emily felt very under scrutiny. The doctor must be able to see the stress and anxiety radiating from her. She desperately wanted to mention the stress of her father’s cancer diagnosis but she hadn’t yet found the time to tell Daniel and now definitely was not it.
“Life is always hectic,” Emily replied. “I’ll try to slow down a bit.”
The doctor nodded. “Right, well, I think it would be best to have you back in next week for the blood test results.”
“Is that necessary?” Emily asked. “Can’t you give them over the phone?”
“I can, but I’d like to keep a closer eye on your blood pressure anyway,” the doctor explained.
It just made Emily feel even more worried. Doctor Arkwright was keeping a closer eye on her than would be usual. It made her squirm uncomfortably.
The doctor booked a follow-up appointment and then wished Emily and Daniel goodbye. As they walked out, Emily felt like a bag of nerves. The appointment had done little to reassure her. If anything, it had compounded her stress.
She turned to Daniel to offload but saw his phone pressed up to his ear. Whatever call he was making must have connected because he started speaking, and Emily heard him leaving an angry message for the contractors who’d failed to show up. Emily couldn’t believe it. He’d barely even left the doctor’s office before getting back to work.
“Daniel, please,” Emily snapped the second he hung up. “I’m stressing out here about the baby and it’s like you’re not even there.”
“I’m sorry,” Daniel replied, exasper
ated, and to Emily’s ears he sounded anything but. “You know what it’s like. Sometimes you have to drop everything for work, too.”
Emily stared at him, mouth agape. Where had the gentle man who rubbed her back when she was sick gone? Why had he been replaced by this stressed-out grump?
Silently, she got back into the passenger’s seat. As Daniel reversed out of the lot, she turned her face so he could not see the tear trickling down her cheek.
Not that he’d notice it anyway, she thought bitterly.
*
They returned home just as Yvonne’s car was pulling out of the drive. She waved at them both, Bailey in the passenger seat waving also. Emily wound down her window.
“Was Chantelle good today?” she called out, a little worried about the child’s behavior following her most recent meltdown.
“She was a pleasure as always,” Yvonne replied. “She fixed my clock! Said Papa Roy taught her how! Anyway, we’re in a hurry for ballet lessons. Lois is there so I just dropped Chantelle with her. Is that okay?”
“Of course, of course,” Emily said.
Yvonne waved goodbye and drove on. Daniel parked outside the inn.
“I’m heading over to Trevor’s,” he said.
He kissed Emily lightly, but she didn’t feel the usual warmth and care she normally would. She was still too angry.
“See you for dinner,” she said, a little pointedly.
She went inside the inn and looked around. The reception desk was empty. No Lois in sight.
“Chantelle?” Emily called out.
There was no response.
Just then, Lois came hurrying down the steps, her arms filled with towels. “Sorry, Professor Vaughn demanded new towels. He said the last batch weren’t clean enough.” She rolled her eyes.
“It’s fine,” Emily said. “But where’s Chantelle? I thought you were keeping an eye on her.”
“She went to the conservatory to read,” Lois said.
Emily frowned. “Alone? She’s seven years old and this house is full of guests. She needs to be supervised at all times.”
She could hear her tone, snappy. She was letting out on Lois the pent-up anger she felt toward Daniel.
Lois glared at her in response. “Emily, I’m doing everything I can. I don’t have time to be a babysitter as well.”
Emily was shocked to hear Lois answer back. But it was a wake-up call, and one she needed. She’d put her staff under a lot of undue stress recently, first with the long honeymoon, then with the last-minute vacation to England. Lois, of all her staff, had been at the front and center of it all. Serena had barely been working at the inn.
“You’re right, I’m sorry,” Emily said. But her mind was on Chantelle now. She didn’t want her left alone, especially not while her behavior was still wobbly. “Lois, let’s have a meeting later. Talk about a raise.”
Lois looked stunned as Emily walked away. She was usually so timid, Emily thought, she must have shocked herself. Tension was certainly running high at the moment. The whole inn seemed to be saturated with stress.
She walked through the corridors and out into the conservatory. But Chantelle wasn’t there.
A sensation of panic took hold of Emily almost immediately.
“Chantelle?” she called, glancing around her. “Chantelle, where are you?”
Through the glass windows she caught sight of the outbuilding, the one where the spa was being constructed, the one where the unused swimming pool was. There was no one onsite. What if she’d wandered in and hurt herself?
Emily raced out of the conservatory and across the gardens, heading for the outhouse, calling Chantelle’s name loudly. Some of the guests who were out enjoying the lawns looked at her with concerned expressions.
“Have you seen my daughter?” she asked them frantically.
They shook their heads and she hurried on, into the building site of the outhouse.
“Chantelle?” she shouted, her voice echoing through the vast, empty space. “Are you there?”
But the girl didn’t respond. Emily felt her panic intensifying.
As she looked frantically about her, she felt an old familiar sensation, one she hadn’t had for a while. She was slipping back into her memories.
“Not now,” she muttered, lowering to the floor as blackness overtook her vision.
Suddenly, Charlotte materialized before her eyes. Not healthy happy Charlotte, but the cold, limp dead version lying floppy and still in her father’s arms. Emily watched, stunned, unable to speak, unable to comprehend what was happening. Charlotte was so pale but it looked just like she was sleeping.
Roy looked up at her, pain etched into every pore on his face. “It’s okay, sweetie,” he said. “Charlotte’s hurt, that’s all. I’ll make her better. You don’t need to be scared.”
A hand clasped down on Emily’s shoulder and she screamed. Turning sharply, she saw that it was Chantelle standing beside her. Not Charlotte. Not a ghost. She was back to the present day.
“Mommy? What are you doing?” Chantelle asked, looking terrified at the sight of Emily on her knees.
Sobs racked through Emily’s body. She heaved Chantelle into her arms, holding her tightly, and wept.
*
Daniel missed dinner that evening, leaving Emily and Chantelle to eat alone. Chantelle seemed weary of Emily after the episode in the outhouse, and Emily felt ashamed of her behavior. Her own father had managed to keep his composure and try to alleviate her worry while his dead daughter lay in his arms, but Emily herself wasn’t able to reassure Chantelle in the same way. She felt like a failure.
After eating, they retired to the living room. Chantelle got on with the clock tinkering she’d continued practicing since their return from England, while Emily stared absent-mindedly at the unlit fireplace. Mogsy lay curled on the couch beside her, and she stroked one of her long ears for comfort.
There was a knock on the door. Emily turned, frowning. It wasn’t often they were disturbed in the living room. The door opened and Marnie looked around, her face flustered.
“Let me guess,” Emily said. “Professor Vaughn has a problem?”
Marnie chewed her lip and nodded. “He’s in the dining room,” she said. “Demanding to see the manager.”
Emily sighed and stood, patting Mogsy as she looked up at her and whined.
Emily followed Marnie into the dining room. Inside she saw the same handful of guests from the other night trying their best to avoid Professor Vaughn’s disturbance. Matthew was standing beside the professor looking upset, trying his best to calm him down.
“What’s the matter here?” Emily asked, sounding weary.
“I was just telling your chef that his steak has been overcooked. It has the consistency of rubber.”
Matthew looked at her, his eyes pained. “This is the third one he’s tried to send back. He said the first one was overcooked, the second raw, now overcooked again.”
“Then your silly little waitress,” Professor Vaughn continued ranting, “refused to take this one back to the kitchen!”
Emily gritted her teeth. She’d just about had enough of this. The atmosphere in the room was toxic. It was like Professor Vaughn had the blackest aura in the world, and everyone who came into contact with him became contaminated with his gloom.
“I think it would be best for you to check out now,” Emily stated.
She could practically feel everyone in the room hold their breath with shock.
“What?” Professor Vaughn barked.
Emily folded her arms. “I won’t tolerate your attitude anymore,” she told him. “You have my staff running around after you, changing your towels, recooking your dinner. We’ve done all we can to satisfy your demands and I think it would be best for everyone if we accepted that that cannot be achieved. I would like you to check out now. I will give you a full refund.”
Out the corner of her eye she caught sight of Matthew and Marnie smiling victoriously. It must be vindicating fo
r them to have Emily stand up for them like this. But Emily herself didn’t feel like a winner. Losing the carriage house income didn’t exactly thrill her. But her other guests were her priority and Professor Vaughn was clearly ruining their stay. Not to mention her staff. They shouldn’t have to put up with that kind of treatment.
Professor Vaughn stood, his face red with rage. “How dare you!” he yelled, throwing his napkin onto the table. “As if I’d want to stay another night in a horrific place like this!”
He stormed out of the dining room.
Emily’s whole body felt like an elastic band about to snap. But suddenly she heard clapping coming from behind her. She looked around. The other diners were applauding.
She laughed. Marnie and Matthew came over and hugged her.
“Thank you,” Marnie said, clearly understanding the financial sacrifice Emily had just made for their behalf.
It buoyed Emily to see her guests and staff supporting her.
“Can you get everyone a free glass of wine,” she said to Marnie.
“You bet,” the girl replied, grinning, with a renewed spring in her step.
Emily left the dining room and watched from the door of the inn as Professor Vaughn threw his suitcase into the back of his car and sped off. Any other day, she’d have felt good about having stood up for herself, her staff, and her guests. But instead, she felt hollowed out, in need of support.
Emily was in desperate need of a friend. She’d call Amy but was always offloading on her. She knew Jayne would be hopeless and unhelpful. There was Yvonne but she felt like she’d been relying on her generosity too much recently, and Suzanna was busy with baby Robin. Serena seemed more distant than ever.
She checked her watch. It would be afternoon in England. Maybe she could call her father. But he had so much on his plate right now, the last thing she wanted to do was add to his worries. She didn’t want to burden him with her emotions.