by Girard, Dara
She went to her closet and grabbed all her "hope" dresses and tossed them on the bed. He'd said she was beautiful, then why did he leave her to date one of the most fit women in all of America? Why had he pretended not to be interested, then suddenly started dating her? Perhaps they'd been seeing each other all along? It didn't matter. He was gone. And since he wanted her to like herself she'd show him just how fat and happy she could be. She didn't need anyone.
She snatched all her diet books off the shelf and her health and beauty magazines and dumped them in the trash bin. Then she seized the diet videos. Her eyes fell on Brenda's beautiful face and gorgeous figure. She had everything Cassie had ever wanted—a successful career, a beautiful body, and now even the man she loved. As quickly as her anger had come it fled and she crumbled to the floor in tears.
It was late afternoon when she was able to pull herself together. She cleared up the mess she'd made and briefly considered calling Timothy, thinking anything was better than feeling this alone, this unwanted. Fortunately, she quickly dismissed the idea, considering someone else.
* * *
"You look sensational," Kevin said as they sat in the sunroom where Cassie had convinced him to take her.
She shifted closer to him. "Thank you."
"So where's—"
She crossed her legs, brushing her thigh against his. "Gone. I told you he was in training."
"Right, I remember. I got the sense he was a lot more than that."
She took his drink and set it down. "Not anymore. I'm completely free." She kissed him.
He drew away. "Cassie, don't."
Heat filled her cheeks. "But I thought you wanted this."
"No, not—"
She jumped to her feet, her humiliation making her furious. "You're all alike. You, Timothy, Drake. You all say you want me, compliment me, give me gifts, but once you have me you couldn't care less. The novelty has worn off and you can move on to the woman who you've had your eye on all the time. I'm like a strange rite of passage. Date a big woman and then you've arrived."
Kevin grabbed her arms and turned her to face him. "That's not it. I do want you."
"You have me."
"No, not the way I want."
"I don't understand."
"That's the problem. Don't you know when a man's in love with you?"
Shock choked her words. "Not you. You have beautiful women all around you. You'll never settle down."
He grinned boyishly. "A man has to keep up his image. I'm shallow, vain, spoiled." His voice fell. "But to my surprise I have a heart as well and you walked right into it. No, don't feel sorry for me. I know you don't feel the same. You never will and... I've dealt with that. I've found it bad practice to start wanting things you can't have. So I'm over it. But I doubt Drake will recover as quickly. You have no idea how you effect men. It's attractive and a little scary."
"He doesn't love me. He thinks I'm ashamed of his background."
"Be patient, babe," he said, making them both smile. "He'll come around."
* * *
Stunned amazement followed Cassie home. Kevin had loved her? Suddenly her eyes became clear. She had been so self-absorbed she hadn't even seen how others felt. She had been so tied up with feeling bad about herself she'd never noticed anyone else. Drake was right, how could she care for anyone when she treated everyone as badly as she did herself? Unexpectedly, words began to fill her mind and she knew exactly what she needed to say in her book. That evening she typed until her back ached and her fingers started to cramp, but she didn't stop flooding the manuscript with the emotion Drake had once said it lacked. She did believe in love and that anyone could grab it and hold it. Everyone was the master of their own bright future.
* * *
Pamela flew into the kitchen and grabbed Cedric's arm. "Oh, my God! Kevin Jackson just walked in."
Cedric frowned. "Who's Kevin Jackson?"
"Only one of the richest, most handsome black men on the East Coast."
Cedric rubbed his chin. "He can't be that handsome with me living here."
Pamela ignored him and dragged him to the door. "Let's see what he orders."
"But I don't—"
She peeked around the corner and pointed. "There he is." They watched Drake approach the table. "I heard that he came in especially to speak to Mr. Henson. I wonder how he knows him."
"It's a woman," Cedric said.
"How do you know?"
He watched Drake ignore Kevin's outstretched hand as he sat. "Because they hate each other."
* * *
Neither of the men would have put his feelings in such broad terms, they would settle on mutual dislike.
"What do you want?" Drake asked.
Kevin smiled slightly. "We have a problem. You hurt a friend of mine."
Drake began to stand. "My relationship with Cassie has nothing to do with you."
Kevin's smile hardened. "That night you stood up for her you made it an issue. If I had known what you were up to, I wouldn't have made it so easy for you to take her."
Drake sat back down. "What do you mean by that?"
"I have money, I was born with it. I went to good schools, eventually Harvard—it's expected. I've never had to struggle a day in my life. I've been to places you've never even heard of, could debate literature and recall mathematical equations you couldn't even hope to understand with your level of education. I knew Cassie before you and could offer her anything she'd ever wanted... and yet she chose you." His eyes turned to ice. "But guys like you are dangerous. You wear your past poverty like a badge of honor, always ready to take the offensive. Always ready to maintain that you're the only ones who've ever suffered. I've never had to scrape my knuckles on the bottom of a trash can or sleep out in the cold, but I've seen hell confined in the beauty of a marble mansion and felt pain echo off a crystal chandelier. Even shallow guys like me recognize true beauty. I'm giving you a second chance. But if you hurt her again, we'll see whose fist is kissed first."
* * *
Cassie called Adriana once her book was completed. "I feel like going out," she said when her friend answered.
"I don't think we have anything to talk about."
She knew Adriana was probably still annoyed with her, but she knew the best way to get past it "I thought about calling Timothy and I tried to seduce Kevin."
Adriana's curiosity was piqued. "I'll meet you at the Golden Diner in an hour."
Hurt feelings were mended with laughter and Drake's name was never mentioned. Cassie was in a relaxed mood when she returned home. Then the phone rang.
"I'm going to be at the Memorial Church at four on Thanksgiving," a familiar voice said. "If you want to talk, see me there." She didn't dare move or breathe in case it was a dream.
"Cassie?"
"I'm here."
"Do you want directions?"
She bit her lower lip. Just when she was beginning to recover from his spell and the hurt of his leaving, did she want to go back? They'd hurt each other so much, was it worth it? "I don't know."
"I don't know either. That's why we have to talk." He gave her the directions, then hung up.
* * *
The basement of Memorial Church was bustling with activity when Cassie arrived. People draped the tables with red and orange tablecloths and set up streamers and balloons on the walls. There was the clank of pots in the kitchen, the loud squeak of metal chairs being opened and set on the white tile floor.
"Oh, good, I'm glad you could make it," Jackie said, coming up to her. She grasped her hand and led her toward the far wall. "You'll be serving food." She handed her a plastic cap and apron.
Cassie stared at the items. "I've never done this before."
"Just make sure the food hits the plate and you'll be fine." She hurried away.
Cassie put on her cap, but had trouble tying the back of her apron.
"You look great," Eric said, tying the back for her. He came from behind and studied her. "You'll fi
t right in."
She looked at his worn jeans and sweater. "Where's your apron?"
He shrugged, nonchalant. "Don't need it, I'm working with the kids."
She stared at him, waiting for the punch line. Waiting for his solemn face to split into a grin. It didn't. "You're serious."
"Yes." He turned toward the kitchen. "They're bringing out the food, I'll talk to you later." He smiled. "I'm glad to see you here."
She spotted Drake at the food table, uncovering the biscuits. Despite her best efforts, her heartbeat accelerated as she approached him and for an instant she felt like a school wallflower approaching the school bad boy. Her sneakers padded across the tile and her corduroys made a soft zip, zip sound as she walked. She'd gained five pounds. Would he notice?
She stopped and watched him. It had been only two weeks since she'd last seen him on a cold autumn morning when he'd hurled angry words at her. Words that had forced her to look inside herself. She gazed at the man she'd once wanted to hate. A man whose wealth and physical beauty made him seem unattainable. Yet as she watched him direct one of the volunteers and carefully set out the food she remembered his tenderness and knew he was only a man. She walked up to him and took a deep breath. "Hi."
It was the only word she could manage before he kissed her—driving away all doubt, all fears, all worries. She would have expected such an impulsive action to be hard, almost aggressive, but his mouth was surprisingly gentle, his hands upsetting her balance and all rational thought. When he at last pulled away she stared, speechless.
His eyes were intense. He cupped her chin and rubbed her lower lip with his thumb. "Sorry, but I had to get that out of the way."
"What was that?"
"An apology." He let his hand fall. "I'll never forgive myself for what I said to you."
"But you were right. I needed to hear it."
He caressed her cheek. "I missed you."
"I missed you too."
A hand darted between them, snapping its fingers. "Okay, enough, you two," Eric said. "You can make up later. We've got work to do." He walked away.
Cassie frowned in his direction, concerned. "Do you realize Eric is going to work with the kids?"
"Yes."
"Do you think he knows what he's up against?"
"He's fine. He does it every year."
"He doesn't seem the type."
Drake sent her a sly glance. "Still misjudging people, huh?"
She folded her arms. "Oh, come on. Look at him. He looks like he's ready to give a lecture on the importance of economics."
"If he decided to they probably would listen. He's good with kids."
"Wonders never cease."
He headed for the kitchen. "We'd better get this table set up before our guests arrive."
* * *
She didn't expect to enjoy herself, but every toothless smile, warm greeting, and "God bless you" she received made the day special. She used her humor to provoke a smile from a solemn old man and a tearful young woman; heaped the plates of a pregnant teen and her boyfriend. She watched Pamela carry a plate for an elderly woman and saw Cedric let an old man use his arm as a cane. The smell of turkey and mashed potatoes mingled with the scent of moth-eaten coats, old shoes, and the streets, but it didn't bother her and she began to see what Eric said about seeing beauty—not one of the disenfranchised looked ugly to her. She saw Eric wipe the nose of one child while he held another on his lap, the others eating with their eyes fixed on him. Jackie rushed back and forth making sure everything ran smoothly and Drake handed out the food, saying something under his breath that seemed to make every guest smile. She felt beauty all around her.
"Glad you came?" Drake asked as they tied up the large trash bags.
"I'm thrilled I came, but I'm starving," she said, struggling with one of the bags.
He took it from her and expertly tried it. "We'll pick up something afterward."
She hesitated and stared at his hands as he worked. "What about Brenda?"
"She won't be there."
"You know what I mean."
"That ended a while back."
"I suppose you still want to meet my parents?"
"Yes."
"I need you to do me a favor first."
He lifted the trash bag over his shoulder. "What?"
"My parents will be back in town in about two weeks and they want to meet you because I told them about you. If you help me lose twenty pounds, that will be really helpful."
He let the bag drop to the ground. "Twenty pounds! Are you crazy?"
"I'll be doing something for you and you'll be doing something for me."
"You cannot lose twenty pounds in two and a half weeks."
Cassie folded her arms and lifted her chin. "I can and I have. I just need help—support really."
"You've lost twenty pounds in two weeks?"
"Yes."
Drake took off her plastic cap and his. "Hmm, and I bet you lost your hair and had about as much energy as a sloth."
Her arms fell. "How would you know?"
He flexed his hand. "Let's just say that I know a little something about malnutrition."
"I don't want to meet my mother looking like this."
"Looking like what? You look fine."
"But I don't feel fine and that's what matters, right?" She rested her hands on her hips. "Will you help me or not?"
He thought for a moment. "Make it three pounds and you've got a deal."
"Three pounds! That's nothing. I could spit that off."
He held out his hand. "Great, then we have a deal."
She slapped it away. "No."
"I'll help you gain muscle."
"Make it fifteen."
"Five."
"Twelve."
"Seventeen," Eric said. "What are you two arguing about?"
"She wants me to help her lose twenty pounds," Drake said in disgust.
"I'm visiting my parents in two weeks," Cassie added.
Eric frowned. "So?"
Drake nodded. "Exactly. Even though I'm against it, I said I'd help her lose five."
"Twelve," Cassie argued.
"Make it ten," Eric suggested.
They looked at each other, then Eric. "Fine, ten," they agreed.
He bowed. "Glad to be of service."
Drake lifted the trash bag. "You'll have to move in with me. So I can keep an eye on you."
"You're just adding that as a bonus."
He suddenly smiled. "I'm glad you see it that way."
"Okay."
He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close. "We'll have to seal this deal with a kiss."
She held a hand against his chest, glancing at the people as they swept past "Wait a few pounds."
"You either kiss me now or we don't have a deal." He saw her hesitation and sighed, annoyed. "Cassie, we kissed before."
"That's because you caught me off guard."
He glanced around. "It's safe. Nobody's watching."
She suddenly felt foolish, understanding how he would have thought she was ashamed of him. Her voice was a whisper. "I'm sorry I hurt you."
He met her eyes, his gaze holding her still. "Then kiss me and make me feel better."
She kissed him, then whispered. "That's just the Band-Aid," her tone suggesting a much more complete healing later on.
His voice was husky as he lifted the trash bag. "We'll be eating at my place."
She smiled and watched him go, feeling nothing but joy, but a sliver of doubt settled in her thoughts—after all they've been through, did he still want to marry her?
Chapter 15
Eric stared out Drake's balcony window with a pensive expression. "When is Cassie arriving?"
Drake glanced at his watch. "Soon."
"Since you and Cassie are now back together, Brenda is out of the picture, right?"
"She's been out for a while."
He paused. "How did you do that?"
"I made it clear that I
was only interested in being friends."
He pinched the bridge of his nose, looking pained. "Are you sure Brenda got the message?"
"Yes." He looked at him, curious. "Why?"
"Because she's on your balcony."
"What!" Drake flew to the window. He saw Brenda climbing over the balcony railing. He opened the sliding door. "What are you doing?"
She smiled. "Seeing you."
"How did you get here?"
"I know people in high places."
Drake leaned over the balcony and saw a fire truck driving down the road. He turned to Brenda. "You have to leave. I'm expecting a guest."
"I don't plan to stay long." She cupped his face. "Of course that all depends on you." She opened her trench coat. There was nothing underneath.
Behind him Eric softy swore; Brenda snapped the coat shut.
"You know, those breasts look vaguely familiar," Eric said. Drake glared at him. "But of course that's not the point."
She studied him. "Who are you?"
"Doubt you would remember me."
"He's my brother," Drake said.
"Ah..." she said, remembering. "Still trying to measure up?"
Eric flushed slightly and took a step back. "I'll leave you two."
"Excuse us," Drake said, following his brother to the door. He seized Eric's arm before he could escape. "Did you sleep with her too?" he asked in a harsh whisper.
"No, she just let me see her breasts."
"For how much?"
"It was free."
"Did we attend the same high school?"
"She felt sorry for me," Eric admitted. "If you survive tonight I'll tell you about the student teacher." He dislodged Drake's grip and made his escape.
"Good," Brenda said. "I thought he'd never leave."
"I thought I explained—"
"What you said and what you wanted to say were two different things." She traced his lips with her finger. "I know you're shy, so I'll do all the work."
"I'm back with Cassie."
She smiled, smug. "That's okay. I know you're loyal. Your type usually are. I don't mind being the other woman." She licked her lips, grasping the front of his shirt. "It's less stressful anyway."