Things were better than they’d been in six long months. I knew I had no reason to complain, but there was still a heavy weight weighing me down. The weight of uncertainty. “This is nice,” I said, trying to focus on the positive. “Thanks for inviting me.”
She gestured to the small piece of meat left on her plate. “Thank you for saving us all from charred meat.”
I laughed. “How many times have I told you eating a good steak well-done is a sin?”
“You’re right,” she said with a heavy sigh. “I have to admit it’s much better this way.”
Zane pulled his phone out of his pocket as soon as it rang. “Uh, I have to take this.”
We usually frowned on cell phones at the dinner table, but we’d agreed to be a little more lax about the rules tonight while we all tried to figure out our new roles in this new family dynamic.
“May I be excused too?” Cole asked. “There’s someone I need to call back.”
“Sure,” I said, without thinking to consult Mac. A quick nod told me she’d appreciate the alone time as much as I would.
“What are you thinking?” she asked, covering my hand with hers as she sat back in the wrought-iron chair.
“Just thinking there’s nowhere else I’d rather be. I used to take dinners like this for granted.” I cleared my throat before reaching for my bottled water. “There’re a lot of things I used to take for granted. I won’t make that mistake again, Mac.” I wanted her to know, without a doubt, that things would be different if she let me come home.
She squeezed my hand before withdrawing hers. “I think this experience has taught us both some valuable lessons.”
I wanted to hear more about her life since I’d left. “This life coach of yours, she’s helped you to redefine things?” She still hadn’t told me about her plans to get her real estate license, and I wanted that to be something she felt free to discuss with me before she made any definite decisions. It’s not that I felt I had the right to weigh in, but I wanted to nonetheless.
“She really has.”
“Tell me.”
Her smile told me she was pleased that I was interested in learning more about her plans. “Well, when you left, I felt kind of lost. I knew I needed to make some changes, but I didn’t know where to begin.”
I could understand her dilemma. The kids had always been her primary focus. Now they were getting older and didn’t need her as much, which left her with a lot more time on her hands. “So, where did you start?” I asked, shifting the chair back.
“Well, she emailed me a lot of questionnaires at first. She wanted to establish where I was, where I wanted to go, what I hoped to achieve as a result of working with her.”
“What did you hope to achieve?”
“I wanted to find myself again.” She shook her head. “That sounds really cliché, but it’s true. I got so busy taking care of my family, I forgot to take care of my own needs. I didn’t really have any hobbies. All of my free time was spent volunteering, which I still love, but I came to the realization that I couldn’t be of value to anyone else until I learned to really value myself.”
“That makes sense.”
She traced her fingertip over the pattern in the outdoor table cloth. “So I started to ask myself some tough questions, things I hadn’t thought about since college.”
“Such as?”
“I narrowed down the things I like.” She smiled. “I even had a few sessions with a career counsellor so we could do some aptitude and assessment tests.”
“Wow, you have been busy, haven’t you?” I admired her for finding the courage to dig deeper and try to find her passion. I was surrounded by people who were just going through the motions, and I didn’t want that for the woman I loved.
“I have.” She nodded. “It’s important for me to figure out what I’m good at, what I’m meant to do.”
It was so easy for me to identify her strengths. I could rhyme them off without thinking twice, but I could understand why it was important for her to uncover them on her own after some serious soul-searching. “So, what did you figure out?”
“I like working with people,” she said, smiling. “I like helping people.”
“Right.”
“I need something where I can set my own hours because my family will always be my first priority.”
I knew that, but it was nice to hear her confirm it.
“I had so much fun when we were looking for this house and the cottage. You hated it when I dragged you from one open house to another, but I loved it. Remember?”
“How could I forget?” I teased, rolling my eyes. “I think we saw a hundred houses before we finally settled on this one.”
“I just wanted to be sure,” she said, pouting. “Deciding where to raise your family is an important decision, and I wanted to make sure we wouldn’t regret it.”
I looked around the several acres of land that now felt sacred to me. I remembered when the trees we planted were just a few feet tall. Now they were over twenty feet. I used to complain the landscaping looked sparse during the first couple of years, despite the fact we’d paid a fortune for it. Now it looked lush and full, just like the horticulturist promised it would. We put the pool in the summer before the boys turned seven and eight because Mac swore she would go crazy without something to occupy them over school break.
“I don’t regret buying this place for a minute. To tell you the truth, I miss it every damn day.” I didn’t have to tell her it was the people I missed more than the land and bricks with mortar. She knew. “This was the only real home I’ve ever had.”
We moved out of the little apartment we’d shared when we found out Mac was pregnant. She wanted a backyard for our child, where he could toss a ball and have a pet if he wanted one. We did get that pet. A chocolate Lab named Lyla. She died last year and took a little piece of our hearts with her.
“You ever think about getting another dog?” I asked, sensing she would appreciate a lighter topic.
“I don’t know.” She took a sip of the wine we’d opened with dinner. “The boys are getting older now and dogs are a big commitment, especially if I’m not going to be home during the day.”
I knew it was the perfect opening for me to ask whether she was serious about going to work for Baxter, but we’d had such a good time reconnecting, I didn’t want to spoil it by putting her on the defensive.
“Remember, we said we’d get one dog the boys could grow up with?”
“Yeah, but we didn’t plan on another because we wanted to travel when the kids went away to college.”
“There were so many places we wanted to visit,” she said, sighing. “So many things we never got to do.”
“It’s not too late,” I said, hoping I wasn’t overstepping. “We’ll still be young enough to go anywhere, do anything, when Zane and Cole leave home.”
“I don’t want to think about what that will be like, when they leave home,” she said, flattening her hand over her stomach.
She’d slipped a short, black terry cover-up with a front zip over her swimsuit, but the zipper wasn’t doing its job. It was still low enough to distract me from conversation.
“I’ll miss them like crazy.”
“You still have a few years before you have to worry about that,” I reminded her, reaching for my bottled water. Knowing I had to drive home, I’d stopped after two drinks. “Besides, it sounds like you’re developing a lot of new interests. That should keep you busy.” I didn’t want her to think I didn’t support her choices, so I added, “That’s a good thing. It’s good to be busy.”
“You ever think you’ll slow down?” she asked. “You used to talk about putting in the time now, building it to the point where your brother could run it, and retiring early. Is that still the plan?”
“I thought about doing that so I could travel with you,” I reminded her. “I guess it’ll just depend on what happens with us.” I wanted to remain positive, to let her know that I was comm
itted to saving our marriage, but I didn’t want her to think I was taking anything for granted. I’d made that mistake before. I wouldn’t do it again.
“Would you like some coffee?”
I was surprised by the abrupt change in conversation but didn’t let on. “Uh sure, that’d be great. Thanks.”
While Mac was in the kitchen, I responded to a few emails and deleted a text from the bartender I’d gone out with. I knew I’d have to face her eventually, if only to tell her I didn’t want to see her again. It wasn’t fair to leave her hanging after I’d promised to call. I didn’t want to be one of those guys, even though I knew she wasn’t the woman for me.
“Here we go,” Mac said, setting two mugs on the table.
She’d already prepared mine exactly the way I liked it, and though it was a little thing, the gesture made me smile. Mac knew me better than anyone, and being with her, no matter where we were, felt like home. “Thanks.”
“I meant to ask you about that motorcycle you left in the garage,” she said, settling down in the chair next to me.
“You want me to get it out of here?” I had an extensive bike collection, so I made sure I had plenty of storage space for them, at my house and at the manufacturing facility we’d built.
“No, not at all,” she said, touching my hand. “There’s plenty of room in the garage. I was, uh, just wondering if it still runs well. You haven’t had it out of the garage in a while.”
I took a sip of my coffee, sighing with pleasure. She’d made it just the way I liked it. Strong. “I’m sure it still runs great.”
“There’s only one way to know for sure,” she said, smiling. “Take it out for a spin.”
“Tonight?” I asked, my heart racing at the prospect. I’d been driving the truck all weekend because of the boys. I thought I’d have to wait until morning to take one of my babies for a spin.
“Sure, why not? I might even tag along if you feel like a little company.”
It occurred to me it had been years since Mac had been on the back of my bike. How the hell had I let that happen? I remembered how much she used to love it. Though she wasn’t interested in learning to ride one herself, she’d always loved the thrill and freedom of riding with me.
“I’d love some company. Why don’t you go and get changed and I’ll fire her up.”
“Great!” Her eyes were dancing with excitement when she jumped up, reminding me the little things always gave her the most pleasure. “I’ll tell the boys we’ll be out for a bit.”
“What about the coffee?” I asked, raising my mug.
“I don’t know about you, but being on the back of that bike will give me the shot of adrenaline I need.”
I smiled as I watched her run into the house. This was going to be fun.
***
One of the things I loved most about living in Tampa was the easy access to the ocean. Though I couldn’t claim to have spent much time at the beach in recent years, it was nice to know it was always a short drive away.
“I remember bringing the kids here when they were small,” Mac said, climbing off the bike and removing her helmet before fluffing her hair. “They could have spent all day, every day here, building sand castles and swimming.”
I stared at her a long time as memories came flooding back. Sunday afternoons when we’d stretch out on a towel while the boys napped in the shade. We’d spread suntan lotion on each other and steal a kiss whenever we could. It physically hurt to think we’d never have moments like that with our kids again. I only wished I’d appreciated them more at the time.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, reaching out to smooth the frown lines between my eyes.
I grabbed her hand, kissing it. “Nothing’s wrong. Just recalling some good times.”
Mac looked beautiful wearing slim-fitting jeans, a black tank top, and a light-weight cropped leather jacket. She’d argued it was too hot for boots, but I told her those were the rules if she wanted to ride with me. I wasn’t taking any chances with her safety. Ever.
She ran a hand over the hand-tooled leather bike seat. “This bike is so beautiful, Ryker. Like a work of art.”
It was cherry red with hand-painted black embellishments and lots of chrome. It came from a Limited Edition collection I’d designed and manufactured for mass production. That collection was now offered by more than a hundred dealers across the country. The next best thing for those who couldn’t afford custom. I still wanted them to feel they were getting the custom experience without the price tag, and I was proud of the way it had turned out.
“Thanks.”
I reached for her hand, leading her toward the path that connected to the sandy beach. We both kicked off our boots and stashed them under a tree along with our helmets. Bikes like mine didn’t have a lot of storage, and since the custom helmets were one of a kind and hand-painted by my best friend who’d passed away, I didn’t want to take any chances with them.
We walked along in silence for a few minutes, appreciating the sound of the crashing waves. I glanced up and whispered, “Shooting star. Quick, make a wish.”
She giggled. “Your star, your wish.”
“I’m giving it to you.” I would give her anything. Everything. If only she knew how much power she had over me.
“In that case…” She squeezed her eyes shut, just like she did every time we presented her with a birthday cake. “Okay.” She tipped her head up, her eyes lingering over my lips. “Hmm, it hasn’t come true yet.”
I smiled as I stopped in her path, wrapping my hands around her face. “What was your wish, beautiful?”
“If I tell you, it won’t come true.”
“I can make any and all of your wishes come true.” I wanted to believe that, but I knew Mac’s wishes had never revolved around money and material possessions. They’d been built around love, family, and altruistic causes. “You just have to tell me what they are.”
“I wished you’d kiss me,” she whispered. “Just like you did the first time.”
Of course she’d remember this was where our first kiss had happened almost twenty years ago. I hadn’t brought her here by accident. I was trying to resurrect our best memories, so she couldn’t help but remember how great it had been before it all fell apart.
I kissed her softly, as though we had all the time in the world to get to know each other all over again. The first time, I’d been a randy teenager who had no idea that good things were worth waiting for and the best things came to patient men who didn’t lose faith.
The kiss went on forever, which still wasn’t long enough. I stroked the recesses of her sweet mouth with my tongue, setting her on fire with my heat and desire.
“Wow,” she said, gripping my biceps. “I’d forgotten how potent your kisses could be. My legs are shaking.”
I wrapped my arms around her waist, picking her up off the ground, so we were eye level. “I’ll never get enough of you, Mac.”
She kissed a path from my jaw to my ear. “I feel the same way. The more time we spend together, the more I want to be with you.”
It wasn’t an invitation to come back home, but it was definitely a step in the right direction.
Chapter Nine
Mackenzie
I was sitting across from Mr. Baxter, listening to his pitch about why I should join his brokerage instead of one of the others that offered virtually the same incentives.
“It’ll be easy enough for you to get your license, Mackenzie. But once you have it, the question is what you’ll do with it. There’s a reason ninety percent of new agents fail their first year, because they don’t know what the hell they’re doing.”
I wasn’t afraid of working hard, but I had to admit the picture he painted made me question whether I could be among the ten percent who succeeded.
“I set my agents up to succeed with training programs that go above and beyond what you’ll get anywhere else. Most brokers throw their agents to the wolves. They don’t care if they succeed as lo
ng as they’re not a liability.”
“But that doesn’t make sense,” I argued. “Since the brokerage takes a cut, wouldn’t it be in the broker’s best interest to ensure the agent succeeds?”
“You would think so, wouldn’t you?” he asked, thrusting a beefy finger at me. “But most don’t want to invest the money I have. I’ve got one of the top trainers in the state working for me. Been in the business twenty-five years. Not only will she set you up with everything you need—business cards, signage and such—but she’ll hold your hand the entire time. She’ll set you up with a marketing plan that’ll help you get noticed. There are thousands of agents, and you have to figure out how you’re going to stand out among the crowd. Let me tell you, it’s not that easy, especially when you’re starting out.”
I knew he was right. I had no experience, no clue what I was doing. But I was a hard worker and a quick study. “I understand what you’re saying, and it makes sense.”
I’d decided to speak to a few brokers before I went ahead with my license to make sure I was making the right career choice. I didn’t want to be impulsive or make a decision I would later regret. If working with my life coach, Barbara, had taught me one thing, it was the importance of weighing the pros and cons before I jumped in with both feet.
“I’d like you to meet Beth,” he said, referring to the trainer he’d mentioned. “I think you two will really hit it off.”
As he was about to stand, I said, “Mr. Baxter, I’d like to ask you a question.”
“Go ahead,” he said, brushing his receding brown hair back with a hand. “Ask away.”
“I’m just wondering why you think I would be a good fit for your brokerage?” As he’d so often pointed out, I was clueless when it came to the business, so I questioned what I had to offer.
He chuckled. “You can’t deny there’s a certain amount of notoriety that comes with the Steele name in this city.”
He was offering me this opportunity because of Ryker and his brothers’ hard work? That’s not what I wanted. “Um, I’m not interested in using my husband’s connections to drum up business.”
Ryker (Steele Brothers #1) Page 9