by A. m Madden
“Now you’re not playing fair.”
“I’ve been accused of worse.”
Pure heat stretched between us as our eyes communicated what we both desperately wanted. I couldn’t entertain my raw thoughts without consequence. She deserved better than a hot fuck in the back of an Uber.
Ignoring my animalistic urges, I asked, “Have you ever heard of ‘One if by Land, Two—’ ”
“ ‘If by Sea’?” She finished my sentence. “Of course. Every New Yorker has heard of it.”
“I live a few blocks away. I managed to get a reservation for us.”
“How? I heard the wait to get in is months long. I’ve been dying to go there, but not one person I know would come with me. They’re all chicken.”
I chuckled at the childlike expression on her face, thrilled to see the joy my plans had caused. “I have my ways.”
The legend that followed One if by Land, Two if by Sea claimed the restaurant was haunted. “Friendly spirits” roamed the halls and at times came out to play with the patrons.
She squeezed her body closer to mine excitedly. “Do you think we’ll see any?”
“Do you want to see them?”
“Hell, yeah!”
I laughed yet again. “My girl likes ghosts?”
“It’s fascinating, don’t you think? I love when the hair on the back of my neck stands up, or goosebumps prickle my skin at the thought of the paranormal. Don’t you?”
“Yes…but I’d prefer you have those reactions when we have sex.”
“We have so much in common,” she said with a smile.
“We do, do we?”
She nodded and kissed my cheek. “It’s scary.”
She was so easygoing, and so adorable. “You’re the coolest chick I’ve ever met.”
Her smile spread wider over her face. “I am? You said I was a dork.”
“A cool, beautiful dork.”
Maygen
Proving David right during dinner, I showed him just how much of a dork I was. He laughed often at the way I sat with mouth gaping and eyes darting around the historic eighteenth-century carriage house.
In what was dubbed one of the most romantic restaurants in New York City, fireplaces in every room, gorgeous crystal chandeliers, and candlelit tables provided the dimly lit ambience. The descriptions I’d read online didn’t do the beautiful décor justice. Majestic French doors with arched cut-glass windows sitting above them overlooked lush gardens. It was the perfect setting for patrons to dine among ghosts while having a fine culinary experience.
Unfortunately, we didn’t see any ghosts. But David promised he’d deliver the goosebumps I was robbed of once we got home. Little did he know I’d been plagued with them all night. I couldn’t attribute all my goosebumps to the paranormal. A smile on his gorgeous lips, or a wink when he was teasing me, or even when his hand slid over mine, caused most of the chills that I felt running over my heated skin.
“In spite of the lack of cooperation from the dearly departed, did you enjoy your meal?”
“Everything was delicious. Thank you for bringing me here.”
“Thank you for letting me. We’ll have to come back again. Maybe next time they’ll remember the hot blonde and will come out to say hello.”
“I think you scared them away.”
“Me? I’m a big teddy bear…among the right company.”
A series of about ten text alerts came from my phone, causing David to look at me expectantly. Fumbling into my bag to shut it off, something I should have done sooner, I felt his eyes on me.
“What’s wrong?” he predictably asked.
“Nothing. It’s just Betha.”
“Maygen.” He waited for me to look up before he said, “Your phone is going nuts. It can’t be nothing.”
“Trust me,” I replied sarcastically, shaking my head.
“If it’s nothing, why are you frowning?”
Crap, I’m going to kill her.
I needed to ask him. If he said no, then I wouldn’t always wonder. “She just had a question regarding my dad’s holiday party next weekend.” I met his eyes and paused.
“A question?”
“Yeah. Um…she wants to know if you would be my date?”
David quickly looked away, but it was long enough for insecurities to instantly rise within me. When his eyes came back to mine, he said, “That’s really not my thing.”
“Okay, I get it. There’s this guy who works for my dad who is constantly trying to date me…he refuses to take no for an answer…and he’s nice enough, but I really am not into him…and I thought with you being there it would finally give him the hint, but…” Crap, I had no intention of rambling like I did.
“I’ll go.”
“No, David. It’s fine.”
“Stop. I’ll go. With you on my arm, I’d endure a night at the ballet. And I dare this man to so much as look at you. I’ll go.”
“I literally just guilted you into taking me.”
“No one can force me to do something I don’t want to do. Trust me.”
He took my hand in his and placed a kiss in the center of my palm. A smile I couldn’t stop spread over my lips as he gave me his crooked grin.
“Ready to go?” he asked.
“Yes.” I was ready to go, to get out there, to take him home and ravish him. So far it was the perfect romantic date, David Cavello–style. I intended to make it the perfect night, period.
Except for making out and groping, we hadn’t seriously fooled around yet. Come hell or high water, he wasn’t leaving my apartment until we did. I wanted him more than I’d ever wanted anyone in my life…and if asked I’d tell him so…if.
On our drive back to my apartment we both sat lost in thought. I assumed our thoughts were the same, and my heart pounded with anticipation. But the more he remained quiet beside me, the more my insecurities took over my anticipation.
He took the key from my hand and opened my door for us. Once inside, he sighed and shook his head. “Maygen, I should go.”
“Please don’t.” For whatever reason, between dinner and now something had happened to cause him to withdraw.
His response was to scrub a hand over his face, looking down instead of looking at me.
My heart plummeted with concern. I willed him not to say he couldn’t do this or that he needed to end things. There was no reason for me to think that except for the pain written all over his face. With every step forward there were three steps back, and with each setback I was more determined to break through his dark thoughts.
“Talk to me.” I walked over to where he stood. “Are you okay?”
He took me into his arms with angst written all over his gorgeous face.
“This has nothing to do with you. Okay? It’s me. That doesn’t mean I’m not battling between what I want to do and what I should do. But that’s my battle.” He slowly unbuttoned my coat, slipped it off my shoulders, and tossed it on a chair. “It also doesn’t mean I don’t want you more than I want my next fucking breath. Don’t ever think my episodes have anything to do with how much I want you.”
In a flash I threw my arms around his neck, gripping his hair, fusing my lips to his. He stiffened just for a second before slowly unbuttoning his coat and tossing it on top of mine. With his hands on my upper arms, he broke our kiss and stared right into my eyes. The angst of a few moments earlier was now replaced with resignation.
“Do you know what you’re doing to me?”
“I don’t mean to. I could feel you slipping away.”
His expression softened at my words. “Maygen, in spite of all the confusing voices in my head…what I should do, not do, walk away, not walk away…bottom line is, I simply can’t ignore how much I want you.”
“Then take me. David, we’re two adults who are insanely attracted to each other. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
The battle in his head must have resumed as he stood staring at me for a few long minutes. I was afra
id to say anything, or even move, for fear it would trigger him to leave.
I could see the moment he made his decision. While penetrating me with his smoldering gaze, he held the ribbed edge of my neckline in between his fingers and dragged the fabric forward until it was sliding off my body. Releasing it, he watched it pool at my feet, leaving me in nothing but a skimpy ivory satin thong and heels.
“Panty mystery solved,” he said with his eyes focused on my underwear choice. He took a step backward to assess me, while shoving his hands deep inside his pockets. The space between us, the absence of his body heat, the way he stood staring at me caused my flesh to prickle and my nipples to harden. It took a few moments before he closed the gap—excruciatingly long moments. Effortlessly, he lifted me in his arms and sat me on the edge of my kitchen island. I was practically naked and so the cold granite felt good against my scorching skin.
It also felt like a swarm of bees had taken flight inside me, causing both flutters and stings of apprehension over what was about to go down between us. Yes, I wanted him desperately, yes, I’d been imagining this for days, but if it was all to be for naught and he ran because of it I’d be pissed as all hell. Not at him, because he was who he was and sometimes people can’t change. I’d be pissed at failing to be the difference he needed to change.
David ran the pad of his thumb back and forth across his bottom lip. He was staring at me like I was an unanswered question, a mystery that he couldn’t quite figure out. I swallowed audibly, waiting for him to decide, because once again that was what he was doing. I could see the ghosts in the dark irises of his eyes. More important, I could see his desire fighting to chase them away.
“David, it’s me. Stop overthinking this.” On my request, he leaned over me and peppered my neck with kisses. His stubble scratched across my skin in the most delicious way. Inch by inch he moved lower and lower until one hard nipple landed between his lips. He paid equal attention to each breast, torturing me with each nip, each lick. When I thought I couldn’t stand another minute, he began moving down my body, stopping right below my belly button.
He lifted himself upright and dragged one of my barstools to the short end of the island to sit. “What are you doing?” I asked, amused.
“Just getting comfortable.” He placed his large hands on my thighs, spreading them slowly. “So fucking hot,” he said as he ran his fingertips over the only scrap of damp fabric that covered me. “Seeing this wet spot is a visual I’ll never forget.” My eyes followed his hands slowly dragging the thong off my legs. “They’re mine now,” he said before shoving them into his back pocket. Lifting his head and staring right into my soul, he added, “And so is this.”
He lowered his head to kiss my inner thigh. His mouth was hot, his tongue was relentless, and watching David feasting on me was a vision that I’d never forget.
Chapter 13
David
Just one taste, I said to myself.
Then I’ll be satisfied until the next time I see her, I said to myself.
Was I a fucking idiot?
But, for the first time in my life, I cared too much to fuck a chick. Seriously, what the hell? I wasn’t ready to admit I wanted everything with her. Yet the thought of ending it brought on the same anxiousness that one of my PTSD episodes would trigger. Until I knew what I wanted from this relationship, I needed to make this all about her. The combination of being painfully horny and painfully confused made this a night that I’d never forget.
I couldn’t get enough of her, and not only her taste. With lust and passion evident all over her face, her breasts gorgeously heaved with each ragged breath she took. While my hands gripped her thighs, her white-knuckled grip on the edge of the granite spurred me on. Even the moans she released, or the way she arched her back before coming against my mouth, made me want to shove my cock into her hard and fast and come like there was no tomorrow. Every reaction she had fucked with my head; the expression in her eyes fucked with my heart.
With her eyes closed a lazy smile played on her lips. I kissed my way up her body until I reached her face. Her eyes slid open, immediately connecting with mine. In that moment, it felt like she could see straight through to my soul.
“David, I want to—”
“You’re addictive.” I immediately halted her words…words I suspected would cut me to the quick. Deflecting her thoughts from what she wanted to do, I added, “Taste how delicious you are,” before crushing my lips to hers. Our tongues came together in a slow, sensual dance that caused my cock to scream in protest. He was at his wit’s end, and he was angry as fuck.
Making things worse, she wrapped her legs around my waist to grind against him while he threw a tantrum in my pants. I straightened, taking her with me until I couldn’t take it any longer. Breaking our kiss, I growled and pushed away.
“Come back here.”
“I need a minute.” I lied. A minute was the last thing I needed. What I needed was to come.
When my minute turned into a few long minutes, her sated expression subtly changed to one etched with concern. I walked closer again and said, “This can’t be comfortable for you.”
I lifted her off the granite and carried her into her bedroom. Gently, I placed her on her bed, probably giving her false hope. She reached for my waistband, and without thinking it through I shoved her enough until she fell onto her back. I dove in for round two. It wasn’t long before her hips started to move against my mouth, and her pussy clenched around my fingers.
She gripped the comforter and I watched until she exclaimed, “I’m coming. David, please don’t stop.”
Holy fuck, this was torture for me. As her climax built, my brain was trying to figure a way out of this mess. Walking out the door would absolutely devastate her. Staying would fucking torment me. I had no idea how to handle this completely unprecedented situation, one where I struggled between wanting to be buried in her and needing to run.
So, I did the only thing I could. I brought her to orgasm, watched her settle for the second time, and went back for thirds. I wondered what the record was for going down on a woman in one night, because I was pretty damn sure if I kept up with my pathetic plan I’d have it beat.
I never felt the need to deny myself, especially if a chick was willing and wanting. I liked Maygen too much. If she knew what my issues were, she’d appreciate why I couldn’t fuck her yet…and one day maybe I’d tell her the truth. Until then, I needed to just bide my time and hope she didn’t take it all the wrong way.
Staring at the ceiling with my arm wrapped around her, at first I thought she’d fallen asleep, until she quietly asked, “David, are you okay?”
“I’m more than okay,” I lied again. I ran my hand down the center of her back before cupping her ass. She lay naked, I lay fully clothed, and the contradiction was almost comical.
I felt her hand drift from my shoulder lower over each button of my shirt before it landed on my cock.
“You are definitely not okay.” Her palm pressed down on the fabric covering my hard-on, forcing a guttural moan from deep within me. “What are we going to do about this?”
“Nothing.”
She lifted her head and quirked a brow. “Nothing?”
“Ready for round four?”
Sitting up suddenly, she barked out, “Is this some sort of bullshit self-preservation test or something? Help me understand why you’d rather lie here with an obviously painful erection than have sex with me.”
I rubbed a hand over my face, frustrated both sexually and emotionally. “Listen, I like you, Maygen, a lot. Just don’t question this right now.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m asking you not to.”
She flew off the bed and threw open her closet. Disappearing inside, when she surfaced the sexy short white silk robe she wore was as hot as seeing her naked a few minutes earlier. Her hair was a wild mass of waves, her cheeks flushed red, and the fire in her eyes was mesmerizing.
Intuitively,
I rubbed myself to relieve the pressure. Her eyes immediately focused on the motion of my hand. Lifting a hand, she pointed at my cock and said, “You’d rather do that than have sex with me?”
“Fuck no! I’d rather fuck you until you couldn’t walk!”
The tone and volume of my voice were clear indications I’d reached my limit. A haze clouded my vision when I felt my blood pressure rising along with my frustrations. I needed to get out of there.
“Fuck…”
Her eyes tracked me as I climbed off her bed and left the room. I could hear her feet make soft sounds as she padded down the hall behind me. Without an invitation, I opened her fridge and helped myself to a beer.
Once I popped the top and took a long drink, our eyes connected and held.
“I want you. Stop with the insecure bullshit that you women hold on to and listen to my words. I…Want…You. Don’t ever doubt it, and don’t think otherwise. I just can’t have you now. Please don’t ask me why.”
The angry scowl on her face softened but was replaced with obvious apprehension.
“Okay,” she said quietly.
I placed the beer on her countertop and said, “Come here.”
Reluctantly, she walked closer until I could grip her hips to pull her against me. “I really had a nice time tonight. I won’t lie or pretend that the minute I get home I won’t be jacking off to images of me eating you over and over. I’ll go as far as admitting I see a cold shower or four in my immediate future. While I’m dealing with my goddamn issues, I want you to take comfort that I’ll be absolutely miserable. Because all I’ll be thinking about is what having my cock buried in your warm pussy would feel like.”
“No sex. Got it. Stay anyway. Stay with me.”
“I can’t. I’m not strong enough.” Her eyes misted but she raised her chin defiantly. Taking her face between my palms, I waited a second before saying, “Maygen, please don’t doubt that I want you. Trust my words. I just need time.”
I kissed her long and hard, released her to grab my jacket, and left to face the miserably long night ahead.