by A. m Madden
Conflicted, her eyes moved from Nick to mine and back again. It meant a lot to my sister that Nick and I had gotten so close, especially after our rough start.
Her expression softened and she ran a hand through his hair. “I understand.” Leaning toward him, she kissed his lips gently before he held her head and returned a heated kiss of his own. Jealousy instantly consumed me. I stood and walked into their kitchen to escape it.
The worrisome look was back on her face when I returned a few minutes later with a beer. “David, maybe it’s time to see someone. You’ve carried your PTSD alone for too long, and I’m sure the situation with Maygen isn’t helping. You look absolutely exhausted. I haven’t seen you look this bad since after Nick found you in that dump you were hiding in.” She pointed to my hand that was holding the beer bottle and frowned. “Your hand is all bruised. I can only imagine why. You have the shakes. David, I’m really worried about you.”
“I plan to.”
“I can come with you.”
“No, Angela. I need to do this alone.”
“You need our support.”
I firmly shook my head to deny her statement. “I have to handle it. No one knows me better than me. I know what I need to do to move forward.” Not sleeping well was only part of the problem. Not having eaten properly while depending on my meds caused the shakes. Combined, the effects were clear to anyone who knew me.
“You need to call her,” she persisted. “You need to talk it out again, now that days have passed and emotions have settled. You can’t let this fester, if for no other reason than to get some closure.”
“She was very clear she didn’t want to see me again.”
“She was upset. Trust me, reach out to her.” She reached for Nick’s hand. “Look at us. If Nick had given in to his anger, we wouldn’t be here now. You two had a very strong connection, one that needs to be considered. That’s so rare, David. You shouldn’t walk away from that.”
“Just as I told Nick, I’ll tell you. Nick forgave you when he was ready on his terms. She needs to forgive me, Ang. I can’t make her. And if not, she needs to move on.” I need to move on, I added in my mind.
The look of disappointment on Maygen’s face haunted me for days. I was responsible for that look. Every insecurity I had going in, all those times I argued with myself that I wasn’t good enough for her, were validated in that look on her face. I had no confidence it wouldn’t happen again, and again. Me disappointing her in one way or another. Hurting her unintentionally and not being able to do a damn thing about it. Through that one look, clarity hit me right in the gut.
She deserved better than me.
Chapter 26
Maygen
It was early evening and most employees were gone for the day, but I knew my dad would be there. Barbara’s eyes widened in surprise when the elevator doors slid opened.
“Hi, sweetheart, how are you? Does your dad know you’re coming?” She had her coat on, her bag in one hand, and a pair of gloves in the other.
“Hi, Barbara. No, it’s a drop-in visit.”
“Okay. I was just heading out for the night.”
“He works you too late,” I said with a frown.
“I agree.” She winked and walked behind the reception desk to buzz me in. Barbara watched me with a smile as I headed toward the corporate offices, so I smiled in return, only for it to turn into a scowl a few steps away.
Phones weren’t ringing as they usually did. Office chatter was nonexistent as well. The only sound I could hear was the rehearsed speech in my head. It had been almost a week since I saw my father, and not because he didn’t try. I needed to cool off and so had told him to let me be until I was ready.
Well, today I was ready.
His door was open when I arrived at his office a few moments later. His reading glasses sat perched on the tip of his nose as he scanned a spreadsheet he held in his hands. Always the professional, now that the workday was over he was more relaxed. His suit jacket was missing, his tie loosened, and his sleeves were casually rolled up to his forearms.
He looked up with a smile when I walked through his door. “Hi, sweetheart.” His face failed to hide his elation over seeing me. He obviously assumed it was a friendly visit.
“Hi.” I removed my coat and sat heavily in the chair that faced his large mahogany desk. Through his windows the city at night looked beautiful. Surrounding buildings dotted with squares of light coming from so many other workaholics’ offices made it look like a picturesque postcard.
He removed his glasses and frowned. “You’re still upset with me?”
“Of course I’m still upset with you.” I sighed heavily, unable to hide my exasperation. My father was a very intelligent man. It was hard to believe he could be so thickheaded. “You took the overbearing protector to a new limit. I am a grown woman.”
“You don’t understand. When I got those pictures, I panicked.”
“I do understand that would cause you to worry. I have no idea who is obsessed with me, and I am also concerned. But to purposely leave me out of the discussion regarding my own safety was unacceptable.”
“You’re right. I’ll never do that again. I promise I’ll keep you informed.” He looked away, avoiding my gaze for a few seconds. He was hiding something now, even as he claimed he wouldn’t.
“You’re still hiding something,” I said out loud. His eyes flew to mine and held. “I can tell.”
“Garrett, I’m heading out.” Reed stepped into the office, stopping in his tracks with a warm smile. “Ooh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt. Have a good night, guys.”
“No, Reed.” I stopped him from leaving. “I’d like you to stay. What I have to say pertains to you, too.”
With an apprehensive look on his face he sat in the chair beside me and rested a hand on my arm. “Are you okay? Phoebe and I have been worried about you.”
“I’m fine.” When I barked a bit harsher than I wanted, he swiftly removed his hand. Inhaling deeply through my nose, I then said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be so…bitchy.”
“It’s okay,” he said softly. “I understand.”
Frustrated with myself, with my father, with everyone in my life who insisted on treating me with kid gloves, I needed to get off my chest what I’d wanted to say for years.
I willed my father to return my stare. “Dad, this week I realized I am part of the problem.”
“No you’re—”
“Yes I am. I live in an apartment that you own, surrounded by furniture that you purchased. I can’t expect you to give me my independence when I’m still under your thumb.”
A spark lit in his eyes at my words. “There is nothing wrong with my daughter reaping the benefits of my hard work. I understand your argument regarding my secrecy, but there is no way I’ll sit back and allow you to live in a subpar apartment based on your salary when I own a perfectly good space in a decent neighborhood.”
I sighed again, internally chastising myself for getting off track. If I wanted to get through to him, I needed to stick to my line of defense. “Okay, forget I mentioned that. It’s time for you to tell me what you are hiding.”
“I already admitted to you that this isn’t over, Maygen. Your uncle and I are determined to keep you safe until we know who sent those pictures. So there’s no confusion, I haven’t backed off.”
My heart flipped at his admission. “Do you still have David—”
“No,” he said, cutting me off.
“Do you suspect David?”
“No,” he immediately answered. “When I found out he was seeing you in a personal sense, I assumed he wanted something. It would have been nice if you weren’t so secretive about seeing him.”
“We’re going to get into secrets?”
Remorse altered his expression. “Fine. I’m sorry. But at the holiday party I made it very clear he was to stop seeing you. He absolutely refused. He also said he was going to tell you everything. I asked him not to
until I got back.”
My insides flipped at my father’s words. David had admitted he wanted to tell me, but it still was too late at that point. My feelings for him were already on a fast track toward love.
My dad continued. “Reed finding those checks wasn’t supposed to happen. You weren’t supposed to find out that way.” At the look on Reed’s face he added, “I don’t blame you for overreacting. It happens to me every day. You want the same for her as I do.”
“You both should have told me sooner. I was falling in…” My dad’s eyes focused on my face. “I should have been told.”
“You’re right. I left on vacation knowing when I got back I’d have to have a conversation with both of you.” My father motioned toward Reed, who sat beside me looking very uncomfortable. “Except for your uncle, no one knew, not even Reed. George told me to tell no one. Maybe if I had told someone, none of this would have happened.”
“Why did you give David a hard time before you knew all this if you weren’t filled in?” I directed my next question to my longtime friend.
“I suspected he was hiding something.” Reed glanced at my dad briefly before continuing. “I had a very long conversation with your father once he got back. I should have been told about those pictures, about the checks. He should have admitted to hiring David to protect you.”
“So, David is off your payroll now, but the threat still remains.”
“Yes, but you are protected.”
“By who?”
“Your life will not be disrupted at all, trust me. You’ll barely know they’re there. I won’t make that mistake again. But until we find out who sent those pictures, someone will always be there.”
“This is insane. My guess is you knew I was on my way over tonight?”
“Yes.” My father and Reed exchanged a meaningful look. I swung my head from one to the other, waiting for one of them to speak up.
“What are you hiding?” I repeated, the bite in my words unmistakable. “Enough with the secrecy.”
“I debated over whether to tell you this,” my dad said, “but I’d rather you know my motive and understand that my concerns are valid.” Tension radiated from every part of his body. He cleared his throat before saying, “Sweetheart, your mom’s death wasn’t an accident.”
“What?” I asked, stunned. “You said she was hit by a car.”
“She was pushed. It was ruled a homicide, a deranged homeless man. They never caught the guy. He took off running and disappeared.”
“So why do you think that has anything to do with me?”
“There was one eyewitness that said he wore a very expensive pair of sneakers. It doesn’t add up.”
Again he looked to Reed. “You knew about this?” I asked my closest friend.
“Yes.”
“I can’t believe this.” Throwing my hands up in frustration, I suddenly had no words that would effectively communicate what I was feeling at that moment.
“You were so young when we lost her. The older you got, the more I couldn’t bring myself to tell you her death might not have been a random accident. There was never any evidence to prove otherwise. I just have this awful feeling that I can’t shake.”
“Was there someone who wanted to hurt her?”
“No. I don’t have any enemies that I can think of. Neither did your mother. When I got those pictures, I immediately confided in George. Whoever sent them is clearly sending a signal. The strange part is, since I received that envelope I haven’t received anything else. David has seen no one out of the ordinary. It’s almost like this person is taunting us, and is obviously very patient.”
He stood and moved around the desk before squatting beside me. Taking my hand in his, he searched my face with sincerity etched all over his.
“You now know everything. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again. I promise.” He pulled me up and wrapped his arms around me in a comforting hug.
Over my shoulder I saw Reed quietly slip out of the room, leaving us alone to have our moment.
David
Garrett asked to meet with me at his brother George’s office. I asked Nick to join me…not sure why, maybe moral support?
I sat completely void of all emotion as Garrett droned on about how shocked he was seeing me with his daughter in a romantic capacity…how I should be ashamed of myself for taking advantage of her as I did…how disgusted he felt over my deceit.
“I told her everything,” he continued, drilling his pale blue eyes into mine. The same eyes my girl had, same color, same shape. “She asked me if you were still involved. I said no, which isn’t a lie because you said you weren’t watching her anymore.”
“I know what I said.” It won’t stop me, though, I thought.
“Garrett, I think David can help. He is very skilled at being invisible. It can only help us to have him involved. My hands are tied, having no other evidence except for those pictures. I know you have other measures in place, Garrett, but David can be our eyes and ears if this person is still out there.”
Garrett nodded, but his expression was still skeptical. “If she finds out you are still involved, it’s all on you. I will have no problem telling her that. I don’t want you near her. She made it clear that she doesn’t want anything to do with you. I know you said you care about my daughter, but all I care about is her well-being. I need you to promise me you’ll respect her wishes and stay away from her.”
I wasn’t in the least fazed by his threat. “That’s not your decision, it’s your daughter’s. But, unless she wants me in her life, I’m out of it.”
He leaned back in his chair, folding his arms sternly. “Her emotions are very fragile right now. She may change her mind.”
“If she does that’s none of your business.”
“It is my business.”
“She’s an adult,” I said. The mentality that she was a helpless child was what got us into this mess to begin with. This man was grating on my last nerve. My gut instinct was to tell him to go fuck himself.
Nick and I exchanged a glance, my brother-in-law’s silently communicating that I should agree with his request. I didn’t want to make things worse for her, and he was right. If she did want to see me she would. The hurt I felt over being blamed entirely for this mess ran deep. The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. Under the ruse of safety, omission is not the same as a lie.
Garrett stood and put on his coat. “Good luck to you, David. I’m sorry that things turned out this way.”
I released a humorless laugh. “No, you’re not.” He smiled at my response, but it didn’t reach his eyes.
“My daughter’s safety and happiness are all I care about. I know you were helping to keep her safe, and at one time you made her happy. But you hurt her. I warned you not to hurt her.”
“You also stopped me from telling her.” I stood to my full height, forcing him to look up at me. “Let’s not pretend you didn’t fuck up.”
The clenching of his jaw was the only evidence that my accusation got to him.
“Lesson learned.”
Once he walked out, George immediately apologized for his brother. “He is so protective of my niece that he sometimes acts irrationally.”
“What’s Reed’s story?” I asked, ignoring his attempt at defending Garrett.
“He doesn’t have one.”
I sat, crossing my ankle over my knee. “Bullshit. Everyone has a story.”
“He spent his youth in foster care. The kid beat all odds, attended Syracuse University on a football scholarship. After an injury stopped his chance at the pros, he switched gears and landed an internship with Garrett.”
I knew my brother-in-law was already snooping around Conlon’s past. I knew that because I asked him to. George could be a bit naïve when it came to the people he trusted. I hoped I was wrong, but better safe than sorry. If Reed Conlon had a hard-on for me, then I had no problem fucking him first.
Chapter 27
Maygen
A few days before Dax’s Fall Fashion Show, the Northeast was hit with a massive blizzard. Record snowfall completely shut down New York City, which was a very rare occurrence.
“We haven’t had snow all winter. It’s the end of February, for God’s sake. Mother Nature either hates me or needs to get laid,” Dax mumbled once we all returned to work after a two-day shutdown. His gorgeous brown eyes scanned his employees while his voice pleaded, “I’ll take you all on a trip to Fiji if you get this done.”
By “get this done” he meant getting three days of last-minute preparation accomplished in a few hours. The show was the next morning, and we were behind schedule. Thank the Lord, Dax’s fall line had already been delivered to the venue before the storm hit. Otherwise, I wouldn’t put it past my boss to want me to contact the National Guard to get his precious designs safely delivered by armored tank.
All my co-workers grumbled at the reality they faced. In not so many words, Dax had just warned us we would be pulling an all-nighter. While they weren’t happy about it, I welcomed the distraction. Work was the only thing that had gotten me through the last four weeks, during the day at least. My nights were all the same. I hid in my apartment either immersed in a horror flick or reading a murder mystery. I wanted no part of the romance movies or novels I loved so much.
“Okay, so we’re all clear on what we need to do?”
Robotic nods and Betha’s loud yawn were the only response Dax received. Not amused, he looked to me for help. “I’ll make sure they stay on task,” I diplomatically volunteered, knowing damn well they could tie me up and torture me over this promise. “If I get an assistant after the show.”
“Deal.” Turning back to the not-so-happy worker bees, he added, “Okay, I have to meet with the models. I’ll be back in a few hours.”
This time his army grumbled out loud. “Relax, I have Karen ordering dinner. Sushi, you prima donnas.”
The moment he left the studio, the brick walls amplified their colorful, cuss-filled gripes.