“I guess I just like the idea,” I tell him, pushing my plate away, “Quite the world travelers, our little family.”
“I like to think of us that way,” he says, placing a hand warmly on my knee, “As a family I mean. Just the two of us.”
Future. Family. This talk is making my heart burst with wondering. I remember the conversation Bex and I had, trying on wedding dresses together. I do want to marry Harrison, more than anything. But it has to be on the right terms.
“I like to think of us that way, too,” I tell him, sliding off my chair and onto his lap, “Even though the Lazio’s can be a bit hot tempered. Even if your mother isn’t my biggest fan.”
“Don’t worry about her,” Harrison says, wrapping his arms around me, “The only things she actually likes in this world are Diet Coke and my dad’s life insurance policy.”
“You’re horrible,” I tease, running my hands through his hair.
“You’re gorgeous,” he says, cupping my chin, “I don’t know what it is, lately, but I swear you’re just...luminous.”
“Huh,” I say, dodging hard to avoid any talk of me glowing and why that might be, “Must just be the New York light.”
“No. It’s all you,” Harrison says, scooping me up into his arms as he rises, “You get more beautiful to me every day, Siena. And I know you always will.”
“Until the gray hairs start popping up, right?” I laugh.
“Even then. Especially then,” he tells me, bearing me across the room with ease.
“How can that be?” I ask, as he nudges open the bedroom door.
“Simple,” he says, setting me down on the sprawling king bed, “It’s because I love you. And love only gets better with age.”
“I know a few rather bitter divorcees who might say otherwise,” I say, as he lowers himself onto the bed beside me.
“You’ll see,” he says, pulling me against him, “I know the odds are stacked against us, Siena, but I’ve never believed in anything more than I believe in the love we have for each other. Screw the statistics, screw the scandals and the rumors. We know what’s true.”
“Yes, we do,” I say, bringing my lips to his.
I do, I think to myself, as our mouths move as one, I do, I do...
Our hands tear at the layers of clothing between us, and our bodies meet as they have so many times before. How can each time feel so new between us? So singular? His hands on my skin never cease to be anything less than awe-inspiring. I am in awe of this person who has come into my life. This man who has changed me in more ways than I can even know of, and all for the better. I know, in that moment, that he’s right. There’s nothing truer than what we have together, here and now.
We make love for hours on end, our pace slow and gentle at first, building and changing into something intense and honest, something momentous. It’s like we’re clearing the slate with our every move, each ripping, rippling moment of pleasure the first in a new era of our knowing each other. We’re rewriting the rule book, one lick and caress at a time. From now on, nothing is going to keep us from being together, exactly how we like.
One thing’s for sure—Bex was not kidding about make up sex being the shit.
It goes on like that for blissful days. We hunker down in our gorgeous suite, leaving my little shoebox behind. As charming as it might have seemed during college, that six flight hike is not something I mind giving up in a hurry. Instead, I grab some belongings and join Harrison in his New York digs. We seal our new promises to each other in the only way that seems fit. Because when we say that we mean to live our life together exactly as we like...well, that way includes a whole lot of lovemaking.
Of course, there are other important matters to attend to, apart from screwing on every single surface in that hotel suite. In a heartbeat, Bex’s wedding weekend is upon us. The weeks have raced by in preparation for this event. It feels like only yesterday that we were all camped out in Dallas, celebrating Enzo’s and Harrison’s victories. But in reality, it’s been more like a month. In a single month, my best friend got engaged, my father passed away, I learned that I was pregnant, and I discovered how dearly I want to marry Harrison Davies.
One thing’s for sure—definitely filled my quota for life-changing events this month.
Bex and Charlie have chosen to go the super classy, very exclusive route for their nuptials. The ceremony and reception will happen in Bex’s parents gorgeous West Village brownstone, and the guest list is extremely short. Gus will be there, as Charlie’s father and the officiant. I’ll be pulling double duty as the maid of honor and best woman. Harrison will be there, of course, as well as Enzo. Bex’s parents, the ultra-cool Elliot and Susan, will be hosting the affair. Charlie’s delightful mother Eleanor will be in attendance, dabbing her eyes throughout, I’m sure. And that’s it.
I have to admit, I wouldn’t have expected such a modest affair from the Bex I knew in college. My best friend has always been glamorous, audacious, a party girl to the core. But maybe the pragmatic and preppy Charlie has helped refined that need for glamour. I know full well that this affair is going to be heartbreakingly elegant, but on a smaller scale. It’s a lovely compromise, a seamless collaboration, between my two best friends. And as we find ourselves at the wedding weekend at last, my excitement simply can’t be contained.
“I have an idea!” I tell Bex, as we pour over appetizer recipes in her parent’s spotless living room, “Let’s all go out tonight for bachelor-bachelorette party!”
“What, all three of us?” Bex laughs, “Isn’t that just the same as going out for drinks?”
“We’ll bring Harrison and Enzo too,” I say, “It’ll be fun!”
“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Bex asks pointedly, staring hard at my belly.
“Oh, I’ll leave the drinking to you lot,” I tell her, “Please? I feel like I’ve been slacking in my maid of honor/best woman duties, with all my own personal drama.”
“First of all,” Bex says, “You’ve been a brilliant Girl Friday, even with everything you’re going through. Second of all...you win. We’ll go out on the town tonight, the six of us.”
“Six?” I ask.
“Shelby’s in town,” Bex says carefully, “Didn’t Enzo tell you?”
I take a deep breath, thinking about the leggy blonde that my brother met on the tournament circuit this year. Shelby is a part of Team McClain’s PR staff, and once had a fling with Harrison. For a time, I was certain that she was responsible for the blackmailing Harrison and I had to deal with throughout the tournament. I was also pretty convinced that she was gunning to steal Harrison away from me, but she took up with my brother instead. We’ve made peace, more or less, but it’s still hard to tame that knee-jerk reaction of anger whenever I hear her name mentioned.
“Swell,” I force myself to mutter, “The more the merrier.”
Later that night, the six of us set out for our rejiggered stag and hen night. We’ve settled on an incredibly fancy French restaurant in TriBeCa, and have dressed to the nines. Bex, Shelby and I rock sleek LBDs while the boys roll out in their best suits. Charlie goes for classic black himself, but Enzo and Harrison sport shades of gray. I almost couldn’t get myself to leave the hotel room with Harrison all dressed up like that:
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in anything but a tee shirt and jeans,” I said wondrously, as I admired his warm, charcoal suit. The piece was cut perfectly for him, his broad shoulders and tapered waist only made the more balanced and cut by the fine material.
“You don’t mind a little change of pace?” he asked, tucking his hands into the pockets of his slacks.
“Not one bit,” I said, moving toward him across the room, “Though I really don’t know how you expect me to keep my hands off you—”
“Look who’s talking,” he growls, letting his eyes rake all along my body.
I’ve wiggled into one my favorite dresses, pitch black bandage number with a sinfully low back. I have to admit, it
’s fitting a bit tighter around the middle than usual. I’m pushing three months, and just beginning to feel my body expand. I try not to panic about the whole baby bump thing. I’m sure it will be a beautiful experience and all, but I’ve always been pretty careful about my body’s upkeep. Will Harrison notice when my stomach is suddenly less-than-flat?
“I’m the luckiest bastard in the world,” he told me, back in our hotel room, “I don’t know how I’m going to wait for the end of the night to peel that dress off of you.”
A little thrill of anticipation runs through me, remembering his lusty eyes. But we’ve reached the restaurant by now. Better be on my best behavior.
Enzo lets out a low whistle as we step inside. “Damn,” he says, looking around at us, “Sure they’ll tolerate lowlifes like us in a place like this?”
“Give us some credit,” I reply, “As long as we can hold off on the bar fights and screaming matches, I think we’re golden.”
The restaurant is bathed in candlelight, the exposed brick and mirror add an authentic, rustic charm to the cool, composed atmosphere. I seat myself between Enzo and Harrison, happy to be flanked by my two boys once again. Even if Shelby is right on Enzo’s other side, the warmth of having everyone together trumps that little hotspot of discomfort. We order a bottle of fine champagne to start, and raise our flutes to the happy couple.
“I guess I should save the speech for the reception,” I smile, “But then again, I’ll never be able to tell you too many times how lovely you are together, and how much happiness I wish you both. Cheers!”
I let the champagne brush against my lips, but nothing more. Hopefully no one will have the wherewithal to notice when my glass doesn’t empty.
“Catch me up on all things Ferrelli,” I say to Enzo, purposefully not looking at his hand entwined with Shelby’s on the table.
“I’ve been slaving away on the track, that’s for sure,” my brother says, taking a big gulp of champagne, “Helps take my mind off other things, I guess.”
My mind clouds over, knowing that Enzo’s been having a rough go since dad’s passing. Dad and I loved each other, but we were never as close as we wanted to be. He and Enzo, on the other hand, were inseparable. My brother must be feeling the absence of our dad far more acutely than I am. And while that fact would have made me irate, once, I’m only saddened now. Sure, Dad seemed to play favorites in life, but he couldn’t help it. Driving was his passion, it was something he and Enzo shared. It was no one’s fault that we simply didn’t have that link.
“I’m sorry I haven’t been there,” I say to Enzo.
“It’s OK,” he says, “It’s been good, the solitude. I’ve needed time to just be angry, and lost without him. It’ll never be all right that he was taken away so young, but we’ve been prepared for it in a way, haven’t we? We grew up knowing that Dad’s life was almost constantly in danger. I guess I never thought he’d go any other way than on the track.”
“But we got to say goodbye, at least,” I offer, “I’m sure that meant the world to him.”
“I know that you’re right,” Enzo sighs, “But it’s going to take a while to not feel pissed about it. To hell with cancer, I say.”
“I can get behind that,” I reply, “Cancer can join the gossip mongers down in the fiery pit, as far as I’m concerned.”
“You sure seem to be feeding those sharks a lot these days,” Enzo teases me.
“We saw you take that reporter out on the news,” Shelby puts in, unhelpfully as ever.
“Yeah, well. It’s a learning process, this scandal mill,” I reply shortly, “Maybe you could help me out by flashing some news types or getting a really obvious boob job? In the name of sisterhood, of course.”
Shelby’s features fall, fatigued. I feel bad instantly for being rude to her. Sure, she seems cold and calculating at first, but Enzo’s really fallen for her. And she’s been the one at his side as he’s dealt with Dad’s passing. Can I really hold her past against her? The answer, of course, is no. The real reason I don’t like Shelby, if I’m being honest with myself, is that I’m jealous. I’m jealous of her past with Harrison, and jealous of her closeness with Enzo. My brother and I have been buddies our entire lives, and watching him pair off with someone else is hard. But aren’t I putting him through that same heartache with Harrison?
“That came off wrong,” I say to Shelby, “Sorry. I’ve just been a bit stressed with the whole shareholder thing.”
“It’s all right,” Shelby says, “We’ll get better at being nice to each other, I’m sure.”
“Jesus, I hope so,” Enzo grumbles, slinging back some champagne.
We place our orders, and I excuse myself to the ladies’ with Bex hot on my heels.
“You OK?” she asks, as we slip into the bathroom.
“Just a little lightheaded,” I tell her, “I’m really starting to feel it, Bex. It’s not just an idea anymore, the baby.”
“Siena, I know I’ve been telling you this from the start, but you have to come clean to Harrison. And soon.”
“I know, I know,” I groan, resting my weight against the bathroom sink, “He’s already noticed the whole glowing thing. How long before he points out my little belly?”
“I didn’t want to say anything...” Bex smiles, “But you look freaking amazing, Siena. You just have this aura—”
“Ugh, I can’t have an aura,” I insist, “I just wish I could put the breaks on it altogether.”
“I mean...you could,” Bex says slowly, “If that’s what you really want. You’re not even at twenty weeks yet, and New York has some good options—”
“You’re not talking about abortion?” I say quickly, “I could never do that.”
“But you just said—”
“This baby is mine and Harrison’s. It’s part of our lives, whether we planned on it or not. I can’t just get rid of it, Bex. Bex...?” I say, spotting the tears in her eyes, “Honey, what is it?”
“I...um...” she begins, trying to catch her breath, “I never told you this, but...”
“Honey,” I breathe, catching her hands in mind, “Have you...Did you...?”
“In high school,” she tells me, struggling to keep the tears from spilling down her cheeks, “I was seventeen, he was twenty six. I really thought that I was in love with him, but the second he found out I was pregnant, he cut and run like I was nothing. There was no way I was going to be able to give it a good life, you know? I was living in the city, I’d just gotten accepted into my dream school. I couldn’t give all that up to raise a baby in a spare bedroom. Can you image the resentment between us?”
“Bex, I never knew,” I say, hugging her tightly, “I shouldn’t have said—”
“No, it’s OK,” she sniffs, “I didn’t want anyone to know. My all-but-absent big sister was the only one who had any idea. I begged her to drive me so that my parents would never find out. It was so scary, and so lonely afterwards. I didn’t have anyone in my life that I could confide in. I had to find some way to make what had happened seem normal. I wanted sex to be something common, and casual. So, that’s how I started to treat it.”
“That explains your dating strategies in college,” I say with a sad smile, “I wish I’d known what you were going through. You could have told me, Bex.”
“I didn’t want you to judge me,” she admits, “You were so sure of yourself, Siena. So unwilling to be fucked with. I wasn’t sure if you could respect me—”
“Hey,” I cut her off, “You made a really hard choice. The choice you had to make. You didn’t do anything wrong, you’re not a bad person. I would have done the same thing, if I was in your shoes.”
“But you’re not now,” she says, “You wouldn’t do something like that.”
“Getting rid of this pregnancy isn’t an option, no,” I allow, “But not because doing so would be evil, or wrong. If this were just some guy’s baby, someone I didn’t love who treated me like shit, then it wouldn’t even be a question. But I
love Harrison. He’s the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. And I know that we can love this baby, and give it a beautiful life. That’s why I know I have to keep it. Because I want to. And I can just tell, in my heart, that Harrison will want to, too.”
“That’s exactly what you should tell him then,” Bex says, smiling through her tears.
“I will,” I assure her, “Oh Bex. I’m so sorry you had to carry that secret for so long.”
“Not quite so long,” she tells me, “Charlie knows. He’s the first person I ever told.”
“Of course,” I say, “That’s wonderful.”
“I was so scared to bring it up,” Bex admits, “But he just told me he loved me, and kissed me, and accepted me just the way I am. He’s the first man who’s ever done that, loved every part of me. I figure, that’s the guy you marry, right?”
“Right,” I smile, “Absolutely right.”
“Jesus, sorry about that,” Bex laughs, wiping the last stray tears from her face, “Can’t be blubbering during my bachelorette dinner, can I?”
“You can do whatever you want. This is your weekend, isn’t it?” I say.
“Damn straight,” Bex says, wrapping her arm around my waist, “Thanks for listening, Siena. I should have known I could trust you with my secret.”
“God knows, you know all of mine,” I say, walking her to the door, “Though I guess one of them won’t be a secret for long.”
We walk back through the dimly lit dining room and come upon our table once more. Our first course has arrived in all its mouthwatering glory. Gus and Shelby are chatting civilly enough, but as we get closer I see that Enzo and Harrison are nowhere to be found.
“Where are the others?” I ask, as we approach the table.
“Oh...I think they’re at the bar,” Shelby offers, “They just sort of slipped off.”
“Maybe they’re picking up the strippers we put on standby,” Bex winks.
“You know I don’t want any strippers,” Charlie says quickly.
“Who said they were for you?” she replies, settling down beside him. She slings her arm over his shoulder and plants a loving kiss on his cheek. My heart melts at the sight of my friends, knowing just how strong and deep their love really is.
Take Me Series (COMPLETE BOX SET) Page 58