by Julia Sykes
The thought of losing that connection when we reached Javier’s mysterious deadline flashed across my mind, and I couldn’t help flinching slightly as anguish lanced through me.
He tugged on my hair, guiding my gaze up from his boots. Soft concern filled his melted chocolate eyes.
“What’s wrong, muñequita?” He spoke with calm authority, his tone demanding an honest answer.
“I’m scared,” I whispered, unable to deny him when he looked down at me like that.
His fingers traced the line of my jaw. “You don’t have to be afraid of anything, Charlotte. I’ll keep you safe.”
Tears I had been holding back for days welled up. I didn’t want to think about this. But those three little words pounded through my mind: I love you. I couldn’t say them. Not when the end was inevitable.
“I’m scared of losing you.” The admission left me before I could stop it.
A small frown creased his features. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Hope flickered in my chest. “But you said… You said this wasn’t permanent. You said it’ll all be over soon.”
“Isn’t that what you want?” He asked.
I shook my head. “Not anymore. I want to be with you, Javi.”
He regarded me carefully. “But what about your life at school? I thought you wanted to go back to that.”
I bit my lip, uncertain. I hadn’t really thought it through. What would the Tri Alphas say if they found out I was married to a Latin King? I would be a social pariah. No more frat parties, and no hope of being accepted into a sorority. No hope of sisterhood.
But did I need sisterhood? I had found a family with Javi. We were a small family, but I couldn’t imagine life without him. And I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he considered me family as well. He had lost so much when his wife betrayed him. He was better with me. I was better with him.
“I’m not sure what I want anymore,” I said. “I used to know what I didn’t want. I didn’t want to be the scared little girl anymore. I didn’t want to be a mobster’s daughter. Now all I know is I want you.”
His expression lit up with wonder. “You don’t know what that means to me.” To my amazement, his voice trembled slightly. But his hands were strong and steady when he lifted me up, his arms forming iron bands around me as he pulled me in for a searing kiss.
“I bought you some presents.” His wicked smile told me they weren’t flowers and chocolates. His lips brushed across mine. “Wait here.”
I almost reached out to hold him against me when he turned to leave, but I knew better than to question a direct order. He hadn’t punished me since that first spanking, but I didn’t want to push him. Not because I feared pain; I didn’t want to disappoint him. I liked being his good girl. I liked seeing his pride in me reflected in his eyes.
He was back less than a minute later, tearing open a large padded envelope. Whatever he had purchased for me, he had ordered it online. That concerned me. What would he get me that he didn’t want to buy in a shop?
He responded to my uneasy look with a predatory grin. “I think I like making you nervous,” he declared with satisfaction. “You look very cute.” He closed the distance between us and captured my mouth before I could step back. His teeth sank into my lower lip, and I shuddered, the tension leaving me as I melted into him. “Or maybe edible is a better word,” he murmured. “Give me your wrists.”
I held out my hands between us, no longer worried over what he wanted from me. Instead, my nervousness had turned to dark excitement. I didn’t have to wait long to discover what it was he had bought for me.
I watched with open curiosity when he removed the first leather strip from the envelope. It was about two inches wide, and polished to a deep crimson. Two sets of small silver buckles glinted in the light. The lining was soft against my skin, some sort of black velvety material. The cuff tightened momentarily as he buckled it in place around my wrist, squeezing before adjusting to a more comfortable position. Rather than making me feel confined, an odd sense of security washed over me. That peace I found under his domineering hands hit me more strongly than ever before as he buckled the other cuff in place, and I instantly relaxed with a sigh.
He took my hands in his and lifted them to brush light kisses across my knuckles. “Very pretty.”
I practically glowed at his praise, and his soft smile mirrored my own.
Keeping his hold on my hands, he slowly drew them behind my back. There was a gentle tug on my wrists, and a soft click as he clipped the cuffs together. I pulled against them, and arousal rolled over me at the resistance that met my movement.
Javier gripped my nape and took my mouth with slow, careful strokes of his tongue. He rumbled his enjoyment at the taste of my submission, and the bliss that filled me at the knowledge of his approval flooded my system, making my body feel incredibly light.
I became hyper-aware of his firm touch on my body as he grasped my shoulders and turned me away from him, guiding me so that I was positioned on my knees on the edge of the bed. He pressed down between my shoulder blades, until my cheek touched the mattress and my breasts swayed so that my hardened nipples brushed against the sheets. I shuddered at the erotic sensation, and my eyes closed as pure pleasure took hold of me. My entire body had become a carnal vessel, and all that mattered was Javier’s hands on me, his power over me.
My pussy burned hot for him, and I arched my back, offering myself to him. I let out a shocked squeak when cold liquid dripped onto my asshole, and I moved away on instinct. His arm snaked around my belly, pulling me back into place.
“Stay still.”
I responded to the firm order, forgetting my discomfort as I relaxed into his control once again. His finger played through the liquid, and I shuddered at the silky sensation of his touch gliding across the bundle of nerves at my entrance. I anticipated his penetration, and I pushed back against him, craving that dark pleasure. He had taught me to enjoy the taboo sensation, teasing me with his fingers while he fucked me.
His pleased chuckle rippled across my skin just before something hard pressed against me. I tensed at the foreign sensation, and my eyes flew open, my head craning back to study what he was doing to me. My breath caught at the sight of the bright red toy. He had mentioned plugging me, but I thought that was just dirty talk.
He pressed forward with an evil grin, and my hands tugged against the cuffs with my anxiety.
“Wait,” I panted. “It’s too big.” Even though the tapered tip had barely touched me, I knew there was no way that thing would fit inside.
Instead of soothing me with tenderness, his hand cracked across my thigh. “It’s not nearly as big as me. And you’ll take a bigger plug before that. I’m going to train your ass until it’s ready for me.” His hand came down on me again, and I cried out. “Now relax.”
He applied pressure again, and I gasped as pain flared. His fingers stroked over the enflamed area where he had spanked me, tracing across the sensitized skin before moving upward to play through my labia. I was shocked to realize I was wet for him, and I became suddenly aware of the desire that was causing my clit to ache for his attention. Without a thought, I thrust back into him with a needy whine. The movement caused the tip of the plug to slide deeper into me, and I shuddered in response to the ruthless erotic assault.
“That’s it,” he encouraged me.
I sank against the mattress with a groan, my muscles softening, no longer fighting him. I found that heady sense of peace, and I allowed myself to fall into it. My eyes closed again, and I took in a deep, calming breath.
The plug eased out slightly before pumping back in, gaining a bit more ground. Javier began a steady, hypnotic rhythm, and pleasure blossomed where there had once been pain. His forefinger teased around my clit in a maddening circle as the plug penetrated me further. As the wide base reached my asshole, discomfort began to burn through my bliss. Just as a whimper eased up my throat, he finally rubbed my clit in earnest, grinding agai
nst it. At the same time, he gave the plug one final push. It popped past my tight ring of muscles, and they closed around it. They contracted, automatically seeking to push out the intrusion. But the plug was firmly seated within me, and there was no way to rid myself of it without Javier’s help. The realization that he had utterly conquered this private part of my body coupled with the pleasure of his touch on my clit, and an orgasm ripped through me with shocking force.
He murmured in Spanish as he stroked me through my orgasm. I couldn’t understand the words, but the warmth that imbued them let me know he was pleased with my reaction.
“Javi,” I groaned his name mindlessly as the final shudders wracked me.
“I want you to call me Master.”
“Master,” I whispered. The title felt right rolling off my tongue. He had fully mastered my body, and my mind was completely in his thrall.
He tweaked my sensitized clit. “Look at me. Say it again.”
My eyes opened, but they remained hooded with lust. He came into focus, but everything around him seemed hazy. “Master.”
His expression took on a new ferocity that I had never seen before. This time, it was fashioned of nearly painful desire rather than fury. He freed himself from his jeans with almost fumbling urgency, tearing open a condom wrapper and rolling it over his hard, thick cock. I licked my lips at the sight of it, and my sex throbbed with need for him.
He entered me slowly, his gritted teeth letting me know it was taking all his determination not to plunge in to the hilt and ravage me. I was grateful for his care. Even when nothing more than the head of his cock was inside me, I felt almost unbearably full with the plug seated firmly in my ass. My inner muscles squeezed, resisting him.
“No,” he ground out. “You can take me. Let me in.”
He pressed on, not waiting for my compliance. I had no choice but to accommodate him, and suddenly my core was pulsing with pleasure rather than reluctance. I gasped and writhed against the mattress as he continued his merciless onslaught. My nearly painfully hard nipples grazed across the sheets, only escalating my erotic torment. Another orgasm was building inside me, and the pressure of my ecstasy was almost unbearable in its intensity.
He drove in the final inch with a determined growl. His pelvis pressed against the base of the plug, pushing it further into me as his cock penetrated me fully. The plug and his cock seemed to burn within me, branding me. He had taken possession of every inch of my body. I was his completely, and I ceded myself willingly. Eagerly.
He rocked out of me and back in in one short, deliberate thrust. I groaned in wild abandon as the plug and his cock fucked into me in tandem. Encouraged by my open show of lust, he moved in me again, more sharply this time. He increased his pace until he was pounding me hard. A string of raw, animal noises left my chest each time he drove in.
“Master!” I came hard, my muscles contracting around his cock and the toy that penetrated my ass. My body twisted beneath his, and the sensation of being impaled and the reminder of my bound wrists sent me flying even higher. He pulsed within me as he shouted out his own pleasure, but I was barely aware of the sound; I was too caught up in the almost cruel intensity of my body’s convulsions. Fireworks popped across my vision in time with the bursts of ecstasy that gripped me as my pussy clamped down on his cock.
He remained seated inside me as he collapsed atop me, and the weight of him pressing me down only heightened my bliss. I was surrounded by his heat, his scent, his strength. I settled into a warm darkness, and I floated away on the happiness that swelled within me.
I love you, Master. The words resonated through my addled mind, but I was too exhausted to give voice to them.
Chapter 20
The next two weeks passed in a sensual haze. I began to neglect my schoolwork, unable to focus on anything other than when Javier would come back to me. I listened to his country albums over and over again in an effort to feel close to him when he wasn’t around. What he did outside the apartment no longer concerned me. I was completely absorbed in the sweet connection we shared, and all the problems that had kept an emotional barrier between us in the past no longer mattered.
If I allowed myself to stop and think about it, I might have realized that I had become unhealthily dependent on him. But the bliss of his unconditional affection kept me cushioned in my happy, closeted reality. Javier took care of me, and he asked for nothing in return. Everything I gave him – my body, my trust – had been earned rather than taken.
Today, his absence caused me more distress than ever before. It seemed to worsen each day. In an effort to distract myself, I took a long shower and meticulously shaved all of my pubic hair. I had never thought to do it before, but I craved to give even more to Javier, to be as bare for him as possible.
When I was finished, I decided to put on more makeup than usual. I knew Javier liked the natural look, but I wanted to look particularly sexy. Fifteen minutes later, smoky eye shadow and red lipstick gave me a decidedly sultry air. I shot myself a saucy smile in the mirror as I thought of the final touch I needed. The lipstick would go nicely with my crimson cuffs.
I had just enough time to buckle them on and get in position when Javier came home. I made sure to spread my knees wide so he could see what I had done for him. His deep, appreciative rumble let me know he liked what he saw. His big hand sank into my hair, and I leaned into him.
“You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” he told me softly.
“Thank you, Master.” I chanced a glance up at him through my lashes to find him smiling down at me. I grinned in response. He really liked it when I called him Master. To be honest, it did something for me too. Every time I used the honorific, it elicited a little tug low in my belly – something between excited butterflies and arousal. The arousal was a conditioned response; whenever I said it, he rewarded me with pleasure.
“I have something for you. Something I hope you’ll accept.” The anxiety that clouded his eyes confused me. I wouldn’t refuse him anything.
I watched him curiously as he went to the closet to retrieve something from his kinky trunk. My sex gave another funny twinge. Only good things ever came out of that trunk. I had a feeling I was going to like whatever it was he had gotten for me.
His eyes were still tight with concern when he returned to me. He held out the strip of leather in both hands, like an offering. It was the same deep red as my cuffs, but it was only an inch wide, and it was considerably longer. I didn’t understand what he was showing me.
“You say you want to be with me,” he said, his voice holding a rough edge. “You call me Master. This is the next step.”
I blinked up at him, still not understanding what he was showing me. “What is it?”
“It’s a collar. Your collar.”
I shifted. I wasn’t sure I was comfortable with that. But I was even more uncomfortable with the idea of denying him.
“Do you want me to wear it?” What harm could it do? It wasn’t like it would hurt me, and he wouldn’t be showing it to me if he wasn’t interested in using it.
He shook his head in a short jerk. “I want you to accept it. It’s not just something pretty for you to wear. It means I’m your Dom and you’re my sub.”
“But we’ve been practicing BDSM, haven’t we? Is this different?” I didn’t understand the distinction.
“It’s a symbol of our commitment to one another. If you accept this, that becomes permanent. You’ll belong to me. And I’ll be yours, too.”
The words struck my heart. Mine. He’ll be mine.
“I already belong to you,” I breathed. My eyes fixed on the crimson leather, and I suddenly ached to feel it around my throat. “I want it. I want you, Master. I love you.”
His jaw went slack, and he stared at me for a long moment. “You don’t know how much that means to me,” he finally said hoarsely. “You mean so much to me.”
It wasn’t the same thing as my profession of love, but it would be enough
for now. He had been hurt in the past. I knew he would eventually say the words. He was offering me commitment. Something in me recognized that the offering of the collar meant more to him than any words ever could.
“Lift your hair for me,” he ordered gently.
Obediently, I gathered it up and held it in place with both hands braced behind my head. The position lifted my breasts toward him. I didn’t miss the way his gaze momentarily broke from mine to admire them, and warmth coiled inside me.
Then the soft, velvety lining of the collar touched my throat, and everything faded to the background as my whole focus centered on him. His eyes were nearly black with desire, his full lips drawn tight with hunger. He locked me in place with that dark stare and slowly encircled my neck with the leather. A metallic tinkling filled my ears as he slid the length of it through the buckle. He pulled it tight, constricting my breathing for a few seconds to reinforce the control he was exerting over me through collaring me. It was the most intimate thing I had ever experienced – more than him kissing me or fucking me. This was what it was to be owned. And to own someone in return.
I drew in a shuddering breath when he eased the tension and secured the collar at a more comfortable tightness. It seemed to meld into my skin, becoming an inextricable part of me, just as he was now essential to my life.
He hooked his finger through the metal circle set into the front of the collar, tugging me up to my feet. His power washed over me as he brought his lips down on mine, holding me in place with his touch upon the symbol of our commitment to one another, binding us together. My hands released my hair to twine around his neck, pulling him further into me, deepening our kiss.
Although I wanted more, he easily broke contact. He smiled at me and planted a swift kiss on my forehead.