by Shana Gray
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen her this way,” Fredi said, keeping her arm in front of her to ward off people. “This is why men are not worth the trouble.”
“I haven’t, either. I hope she doesn’t get alcohol poisoning or anything.” Celia looked back over her shoulder with concern. “How did she get this bad?”
“I have no idea. It has to be those banana banshee things she was drinking. I think they were super strong.”
Bonni heard her friends talking, but it was like they were under water, and her eyes kept crossing. She blinked.
“Ava.” Bonni turned her head and loudly whispered into her ear.
“Yes, Bonni.”
“I want to see Quinn.”
“I think you should just go to bed.”
“No, I need to see him. Bad.” Bonni had to make Ava understand that it was important for her see Quinn, they had a date, but she knew she needed help getting up to his room.
“Don’t you think you’ve had too much to drink? Do you really want to see him in this condition?”
“Yes. It’s our last night.” Bonni nodded, and her head dropped onto Ava’s shoulder. “Please, help me get to his room.”
“How about you guys go up? I’ll take her to Quinn and then bring her to the room if he doesn’t want to deal with her drunk ass,” Ava said to Fredi and Celia.
“Okay,” Celia said. “But if she throws up in the hotel, I should get all the money in the Celia Pukes pool.”
The women separated and Ava got Bonni into the elevator, coaxing Quinn’s room number from her. Once the elevator started moving, Bonni asked Ava, “You like Celine Dion, right?”
Ava brushed the hair out of Bonni’s face and tried to tidy her friend up a bit. “How does anyone not like Celine Dion?”
Bonni’s eyes widened. “I know, right? Oh my God, Ava, did you know she’s here in Vegas? We should totally go see her.” Overcome with fangirl delight, Bonni was suddenly struck with the need to sing “My Heart Will Go On.”
Ava tried futilely to shush her for several floors, and then Bonni grabbed her arm and shook it. “Ava, Aves, Jack, he died! It was so sad! Rose is a selfish bitch. She should’ve let him climb on the door. If it were Quinn, I would totally let him share my door. I wouldn’t want him to die. Ava, Ava, I think I love him. Are we in a romcom? You would tell me if we were in a movie, right?”
“Oh Lord, Bonni, you’re a right mess. I haven’t seen you this drunk since that Ponzi scheme guy committed suicide before you could get all the money back to his victims. Are you sure you want to see Quinn?”
“That guy, Ava, listen, this is really important,” Bonni said. “That guy was an asshole. Quinn is not an asshole, though. He’s amazing. Amazeballs. Balls of amazing. We have stuff in common and his dick, Ava, listen, his dick—”
“Thank God we’re alone in this elevator,” Ava said.
Bonni wasn’t sure why her friend was looking quite so desperate, but she felt the need to continue sharing this very important information. Oh, Quinn. They were supposed to talk tonight. She was going to sit him down and have a very sensible conversation about expectations and feelings and commitments and boundaries, but her carefully rehearsed words had dissolved upon application of alcoholic banana-slushy goodness. All she knew now was that she loved him. Near, far, wherever he was, her heart would go on. She should sing again.
Bonni picked up where she had left off as the elevator whooshed to a stop and the door opened. Ava put her hands on Bonni’s shoulders and guided her out. She tried once again to shush Bonni, but Bonni knew—she just knew—that love had touched them one time and that it would last for a lifetime.
Ava muttered, “The things I do for true love.”
As quickly as she could, Ava brought Bonni to Quinn’s door, but hesitated while Bonni continued to sing. “Bonni, it’s not too late to turn around. I can text him from your phone, explain what happened—”
“No.” Bonni pounded on the door with her fist. “Open up, it’s the police. The looooove police.” She giggled.
“Bonni! Let’s really try to not wake up the entire hotel, okay?”
The door opened, and Quinn stood there. “What the hell—oh, holy shit, what do have we here?”
He was so pretty. Bonni was so lucky that she’d found such a pretty man. She stopped singing so she could stare at the very pretty man. He should be in a museum so that everyone could see how pretty he was. No, that wouldn’t work, because then she’d have to share him, and she didn’t want to do that.
Ava said wryly, “A very drunk Bonni insisted she was going to keep your date.”
“Because he’s so pretty! But I’m not sharing!” Bonni reached her hands out to Quinn and he took them, helping her keep her balance when she wobbled a little.
“I’m sorry, Quinn. She was relentless. I hope you don’t mind. I mean, she’s just smashed. I can take her back to our suite, but she was determined—”
Quinn reached for Bonni’s waist and gathered her into his arms. “It’s fine, Ava. I’m glad you brought her. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of her.”
“Quinn?” Bonni looked up at him. “I don’t want you to be in a museum. Can we have our date instead?”
He smiled down at her and she leaned into his touch when he cupped her face. “We can. That’s why Ava brought you to me.”
“She did? Aww, she’s one of my best friends, you know. I love all my besties equally, but Ava’s the best bestie.” Her tone was very earnest as she made sure Quinn knew how awesome Ava was.
“Yes, clearly she’s the best, if she helped you keep our date.” Quinn’s eyes were smiling, and Bonni couldn’t help but smile back.
From over her shoulder, she heard, “Bonni, are you still sure you want to burden Quinn with your drunk-ass self?”
“Yes, he’s my main man, Ava.” Bonni snuggled into Quinn. Not only was he pretty, he was warm and cuddly!
“Okay, Quinn, good luck. Also, I know people in the IRS. If you hurt her, not Landon or God Almighty will be able to save you from having your entire life audited.” Ava was using her fierce voice. Bonni made a little “grr” noise then giggled again.
Quinn’s arm tightened around her waist. “Understood. I’ll take care of her, and we’ll connect in the morning. And, Ava, don’t worry. I have a feeling I’m the one that’s going to be hurting,” he replied.
“You smell so good, I could just eat you up.” Bonni’s words were muffled by his neck. She vaguely heard Ava say good night, and then Quinn was closing the door and shuffling her inside. Suddenly, his last words registered with her and she pulled back, needing to tell him something urgently.
“We need to talk. I had this whole big script and things I wanted to say, but I got all tangled up and I got drunk, and now all that really matters is that I tell you that my heart will go on, if yours does, Quinn. I’m all in.”
The next thing Bonni knew, Quinn was hugging her tightly, and she buried her face in his chest, marveling again at his yumminess. Then she remembered something else.
“Quinn, listen, Quinn, this is really important.” She grabbed his face with her hands, forcing him to look into her eyes. “Quinn, if I get sick tonight, don’t tell Celia.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
“Let’s get you a drink of water.” Quinn scooped Bonni up into his arms and carried her farther into the room. He sat her on the couch, putting a pillow behind her back when she started to slide.
“I don’t want to drink water. Do you have more champagne? Sometimes it tastes yucky but, in Vegas, it’s awesome!” Quinn watched Bonni try to look around the room, but her eyes crossed and she started to tilt again.
“I think it’s better we have water.”
She stuck out her tongue and wrinkled her nose. “But you can have water anywhere.”
Quinn thought his heart was going to explode at how cute she was being. Her head fell back and he wondered what on earth had made her hell-bent on getting so drunk. “Baby, Las Vegas
water is filled with magic and luck, so you gotta drink it all up. You just stay there while I get it.” Quinn moved quickly to the bathroom to fill two glasses from the tap before Bonni decided she could fly, or something equally nonsensical.
“Here you go, darling. Drink up now.” He sat beside her and she slumped into him. Lifting her to a sitting position, he held a glass to her mouth. She gulped some water down and he wiped a drop off her chin. Bonni looked up at him, her eyes, normally so alert and vibrant, now glassy. She was having a hard time keeping them open. While he was appreciative of her adorableness, he wished he’d pushed harder for dinner. If he had, perhaps she wouldn’t have gotten so drunk. What was bothering her?
“I’m going to miss you, Quinn.” Her breath caught.
“Where am I going? Here, you need to drink some more.”
Bonni drank the rest of the water, wiping her hand over her mouth, and he gently placed her back on to the pillows.
“You’re going to leave,” she said, and he watched her eyes flutter.
Cupping her face again, he traced the curve of her cheek. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m here with you right now.”
“I don’t want you to go, Quinn.”
He shifted the pillows around so he could sit at the corner of the couch, and drew her back on him. “I don’t want to go, either.”
“You’re special. I like you, a lot.”
She was telling him things he wanted to hear. Only she was drunk. Perhaps talking truth?
“I’m not going to go anywhere. You’ll stay here with me tonight.”
Bonni snuggled into him and rested her cheek on his chest. “’Kay. I can hear your heartbeat.”
He brushed her hair off her face again and saw that her eyes were closed. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and held her tight. Quinn stayed that way for a little while, cradling her.
Then she suddenly sat up, startling him.
“Are you okay, baby? Did you fall asleep?”
She shook her head. “Nope. Just resting my eyes. Everything is spinning.”
“I’m not surprised. You’ve had a lot to drink.”
“Yup. Gotta forget stuff sometimes, ya know?”
He was silent for a minute, then asked, “What are you trying to forget?”
Bonni shrugged her shoulders. “All the people going away.”
“Who’s going away?”
“Everybody does, you know. So I decided I would always leave first. I wouldn’t ever get left behind again.”
He needed to steer her off that path, even though she’d revealed an important character trait about herself. Would she leave him? Run away? Does she think I’ll leave her?
“Not everybody will leave you. I won’t leave you.” Quinn felt his stomach sink. Because leaving was what a professional poker player did. Constantly traveling to follow the games. He knew, in that moment, that if he wanted to be with Bonni he’d have to give it up.
“My mom did, she didn’t like all of Daddy’s traveling. So…poof. Gonzo. She was there when Doug got in trouble, they got him help, but as soon as he was clean, she left. Birthday and Christmas cards, that’s it. Doug didn’t think about me when he chased his addiction, and he didn’t think about me when he decided he had to move to get away from bad habits and triggers. He left, too. He calls sometimes. Mostly, it was just me and Daddy.”
Quinn felt a surge of anger at her family for abandoning her, for choosing their own interests over Bonni. He could almost understand why her brother had done it, but her mother? Then:
“You have your dad. He’s been there for you.”
“Yes, and no.” Her voice was low and pained.
“How’s that? It can’t be both.”
She nodded with exaggeration. “Yes, it can.” She shifted and looked into his eyes. The expression in them was new, sadness mixed with pain…and anger. She poked her finger hard at her chest. “I know. You can’t tell me I don’t know. Because I do.”
“I’m confused, babe, explain it to me.”
“My dad. He’s here, but he’s not here.” She waved her hand. “Not here, but, oh, I don’t know.” She drew in a ragged breath. “He’s in Virginia. Locked up, in a place…his mind.”
Quinn began to feel Bonni’s despair as she grappled for words. He remained silent, letting her find her way. He sensed this was a big deal, telling him about her father, and he wanted to let her say it at her own pace.
“H-he, doesn’t know me anymore. He’s forgotten me and our life. Everything. And he was everything to me. He taught me self-defense and how to shoot a gun, but he also took me shopping for a prom dress. Friday nights, we’d watch old Westerns and eat popcorn and he’d tell me that a true hero does things because the cause is just, not for money or fame. And he doesn’t remember any of it.”
Things were starting to click into place, and all Quinn could do was hold her. His heart surged. “Bonni—”
She put her hand up. “Stop, I wasn’t finished…not finished.” Her eyes filled with tears and her chin wobbled. Quinn’s heart broke for her and he tightened his embrace, hoping his presence would give her the comfort she needed.
“I’m sorry, Bonni. So sorry.”
A big fat tear dripped down her check. Quinn swiped it away, having to swallow back his own emotion and the rawness of hers. Never before had he been so ripped open. Seeing her like this moved him to his core.
“Oh, Quinn. I miss him so much! It’s so horrible to see who he is now. He’s no man, just a shell, with my dad lost inside with that terrible, terrible disease, and I’ll never get him back. Never!” She buried her face into his chest and her tears soaked his shirt.
“Tell me, Bonni, I’m here for you.”
Bonni pushed up, pulling back from him a little, with cheeks stained with tears and a serious tone in her voice. “But are you really, Quinn? Or will you leave, too, gone off to the next poker game? Or will you go away little by little, like Daddy did?”
This was the perfect moment to tell her that he wanted to move to Canada, that he was ready to work for Bryant Enterprises and stop gambling, but the words just wouldn’t come. “I’m here now.”
“I was there, too. But I was afraid. So I left.” She plucked at the button on his shirt.
“Left where, darling?”
“Left Virginia and went to Toronto. I couldn’t bear to see him fade away and so I left!” She looked up at him, her hair mussed, eyes rimmed red, and lips swollen. Never had he thought she looked more beautiful and vulnerable, and all he wanted to do was keep her safe, happy, and protected.
“Your job took you there, didn’t it?”
“Yes, but I didn’t have to go.” She sniffled. “I ran away from him when he needed me most, Quinn! I lost those last precious, lucid days with him, that I can never get back, because I wasn’t strong enough!”
“Baby, calm down. Shh, it’s okay.”
She shook her head and he placed his hands on either side of her face, looking deep into her eyes, stilling her frantic emotions. “Your father raised you to be an amazing woman, and I’m sure all he wanted was for you to be happy and live your life. You went to Canada to catch bad guys and make the world a better place. I’m sure he is so proud of you.”
Bonni sucked in rapid breaths and slowly calmed down. “You really think so? I visit him sometimes and tell him about cases I’ve worked on, and I swear, sometimes it feels like he hears me.”
“The next time you visit, I’ll go with you. I’ll take you, and I’ll be there for you.” It hadn’t been a conscious decision to say those words, but Quinn found that he meant them.
“You would do that with me?”
“Yes, I would go with you.” It was a promise Quinn knew he had to keep, because, if he didn’t, then he’d be just as bad as the rest of the people who had left her over the years.
She searched his face and smiled a little, before turning away. “I’m thirsty, and I need to use the restroom,” Bonni murmured.
Quinn hel
ped her from the couch. She wrapped her arm around his waist and he led her to the bedroom. “You go on in there, and I’ll get you another glass of water.”
He watched her drop her purse and phone on the bedside table and hold the wall as she went into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. He stood for a few minutes, watching the closed door, reeling. He felt like he’d been ripped through a hedge backward and shook his head. How raw must she be feeling?
A few minutes later she came out and flopped onto the bed. He could see she had washed her face and had tried to do something with her hair, as it was a bit damp.
“C’mere.” Bonni reached a hand to him and looked at him through sleepy eyes. He couldn’t resist her. Even in her drunken stupor, he thought she was amazing.
“You’re taking such good care of me.” She looked up at him and smiled. “You’d make someone a good husband.”
Quinn laughed. “I don’t know about that. Not many women would put up with me.”
“I’d put up with you.” She reached up and took his face in her hands and pulled him down to her. “I want you to kiss me, Quinn. Make me feel good. Like you did last night.”
Quinn wasn’t about taking advantage of drunk women. But he did kiss her. He’d been longing to all day.
She moaned into his mouth, and her hands were at the waistband of his jeans. “Let’s make love.” She shifted her position and tried to straddle his hips, finally managing to sit on him, rather precariously. He held her hips so she wouldn’t topple over but sucked in a sharp breath when she rocked against him. After their time together, he knew the signs of her arousal, and she was setting off all the alarms now.
“Bonni, honey, not tonight.” It was one of the hardest things Quinn had ever had to do. He wanted to make love to her more than life itself, but instead, he gently untangled her from him and pulled the sheets back. “How about we get you undressed and into bed?”
“But I don’t want to go to sleep. I want to be with you.”
“And there’s nothing more that I want, either. But I’d rather you be buzzed on me sober than drunk. No way will I ever take advantage of you.”