“Scarlet …” Conan said after dinner.
“Yes?”
“I want to do something to you.” He smiled and combed his long fingers through his dark-brown hair. “But I need your permission.”
“My permission?”
“Do you remember asking me what I tie with my ties?”
“Yes.”
“I want to tie you up … I want you to hand your will over to me.”
“What do you mean?”
“Your submission, my dear Scarlet. I want you under my total control.”
“Total control?”
“You have to trust me. You have to let me do to your body whatever I want. Do you trust me?”
The last time I trusted a man he betrayed me. I remembered how I felt when I saw Max kissing that other girl. I didn’t want to feel that way again … ever. I’d suspected that Conan used his ties to tie up women. I was sort of curious, but I was also afraid. If I submit to him, will I learn to trust again? Will I learn to love someone besides the White Queen?
“How do I submit to you?” I asked.
“I’ll show you.” He reached across the table and took my hand. “Come with me.”
He led me into the middle of the living room. Am I ready for this?
“Stand here,” he said. He put on ambient music and took something out of a drawer. “Close your eyes.”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. The sweet scent of sandalwood drifted off Conan’s body as he stood behind me.
“I’m going to blindfold you and then we’ll dance. I lead and you follow. When I step forward, you step backward. When I turn your hand, you spin.”
Conan covered my eyes with a soft black cotton scarf and tied it tightly behind my head, leaving me in darkness. He grabbed one of my hands and put the other on his waist. I carefully followed his lead—left, right, forward, backward, spinning into his arms—as he glided us around the room.
I breathed in his sweet scent and there was no other reality. The blinding city lights, the shrieking sirens, the stench of pollution were all gone. I was transported to a blissful other world. In this realm, we were immortal and time ceased to exist.
He put one hand on my upper back and pulled my hips toward him with the other hand as he dipped me. My body fell in a perfect semi-circle until he pulled me up, kissing my slim neck. He slid his fingers down my throat and between my breasts, continuing down my abdomen. He kissed me passionately, sucking my life force into his.
“Conan … this is celestial,” I whispered.
He pushed a finger to my lips. “Be quiet. Just feel me,” he said as he swooped me up in his arms. He carried me into the bedroom and gently laid me on his bed, nibbling at my neck and chest. “I’m going to train you. You’ll become my perfect girlfriend.”
“No one’s perfect,” I mumbled, tracing the scar under my dress with my finger.
“Did you say something?”
“No, no.”
He pulled up my dress and ran his fingers inside my garter belt. “Look at these sinful legs,” he said, kissing the naked my flesh above my stockings as he took off his shirt.
I was squirming with excitement. Conan was filling me with desires I’d never imagined. I felt as though I was coming alive for the first time.
He slowly glided his hand to the sweet spot between my legs, touching the tip. “Here it is,” he cooed.
I wasn’t prepared for the intense waves of pleasure that washed over me. What am I doing? I can’t let this man own me. I moved my hips away from his menacing fingers.
“Be still,” he said in a deep voice.
Conan grabbed my arms and held them together above my head. He flung my arms apart and slipped something over each wrist. I screamed and tried to sit up, but he held me down and tied my wrists to the bedposts.
“You control freak jerk!” I screamed as memories of my stepfather flooded my mind. “How dare you!” I was terrified and I began kicking my legs, wishing I’d taken off the blindfold before my wrists were tightly bound.
“You’re mine now. Stop struggling. Give in to me,” he commanded as he held down my legs.
His orders seemed to enter straight into my subconscious mind, tapping into some deep need to obey him without question. I let go of my fear and stopped struggling.
“Good girl,” he said as he stroked my cheek. “That’s my good pussy.”
I was dripping wet. Holy … I’ve never been so turned on.
I heard him unzip his pants. He spread my legs and mounted me. I wanted him, but something inside was stopping me. I’m an agent and he’s my target. He’s no different from any other man. I can’t trust him … I can’t love him.
“Don’t … please don’t,” I moaned.
“Stop making noises little thing. I’ll gag you if I have to,” he said, slipping his hand over my wetness.
“Wait … stop.”
“Now you’re making me angry,” he said, rolling down my panties. “I warned you, but you had to be a bad, bad girl.” He removed my panties and shoved them in my mouth.
I tried to kick him and he grabbed my legs with his strong hands.
“No,” he said. “Don’t move.”
I knew struggling was futile and my body went limp. Conan tied my ankles to the bottom bedposts. I was unable to move my limbs and knew I couldn’t escape. I was just an object for his pleasure.
He inserted his long fingers into my wetness. I tried to say no, but it came out as “nnnuuuhh.” I’d never felt so humiliated in my life.
“You’re so wet,” he said, feeling for my sweet spot deep inside.
I bit down on my panties, trying not to moan.
“My bad little pussy is dripping,” he said as he removed his fingers and stroked my inner thighs.
He began mercilessly ramming his fingers in and out of me. He’s treating me like piece of meat and my body loves it. I hate myself. If he ever let’s me go, I swear he’ll pay for this. I was trying my hardest not to lose it, but he forced me to come with his rough touch.
“There now. Isn’t that better? You’re an aggressive little thing and I like it when you’re helpless. You just need to be tied up, don’t you?”
I wanted to scream “let me go,” but I knew I had to show him some sign of submission and I nodded. I was afraid of what he was going to do next, but there was another side of me that was enjoying this. I’d often restrained my targets, and it was sort of a relief to be on the receiving end for once. The feeling of being conquered was strange … and liberating.
“Good obedient kitty,” he said. “You can have my cock now, but I want you to see it first.”
Conan tore the blindfold from my eyes and his muscular body filled my vision. He removed his briefs and I saw his manhood for the first time. He was neither too large or too small. I was too turned on to resist and I closed my eyes. I remained still as he lowered himself onto me and pushed his hardness inside. He fit perfectly, hitting all the right spots and filling me up with his warmth.
“You’re so tight,” he groaned.
He sucked on my nipples and took his time thrusting in and out. I stopped pulling against the ties and gave in. I moaned in pleasure as my body went wild and my mind fell into an ecstatic delirium.
“You need more,” he said, lifting my pelvis and shoving a pillow underneath me. He penetrated me as deeply as he could and stopped. “This feels right.”
I involuntarily arched my back and contracted around him, jerking against the ties. He began pounding me, each thrust of his cock transporting me to cloud nine.
“You like being tied up and fucked.”
I nodded.
“I own you now my Scarlet Queen.”
He charged at increasing speeds, sending me into outer space. I was under his control, a part of him. I no longer had a mind of my own. Is this submission?
“I’m coming,” he moaned. He stiffened up and gave a sharp grunt, releasing his fluids deep inside me.
My eyes rolled
up and my body quivered with pleasure as his essence filled me. I shriveled into a series of spasms as I drifted into a transcendent space where all was still and quiet. I was his now. I was owned.
The humiliation of losing to this man, my target, set in. Conan had crossed the threshold and claimed me as his property. I never thought I’d be controlled by another man and I began tearing up. I’ve lost the game of love.
“Will you be good if I untie you?”
I nodded. He removed the saliva-soaked panties from my mouth and untied me.
“You may leave now.”
“What?” I asked, sitting up and massaging my wrists. There were rope marks on my skin.
“I didn’t tell you to speak. My chauffeur will drive you home.”
* * *
I ran up the stairs to my apartment and Milky was waiting for me just inside the door. I picked her up and gave her kisses as I hugged her furry body tightly against my chest.
She was hungry and she started to meow. I put her down and gave her a whole can of tuna. She gobbled it up.
I couldn’t believe what just happened with Conan. I felt used and abused, like he’d chewed me up and spit me out.
I began thinking about my stepfather, remembering his life draining away before my eyes. I hated him and I knew he deserved that end. I was reborn that day as a cold-blooded killer. My blades brought me the justice I craved.
I hope the White Queen changes her mind and wants me to kill that son-of-a-bitch Conan Casey. He’s just another abuser. Why did I lose control and submit to him like that? How could I let my target do that to me?
I sat down and wrote a few lines of poetry in my notebook.
“Love is a Curse.
Love is nothing but a curse,
A curse that controls me.”
A sentimental killer? I don’t think so. I ripped the page out of my notebook and threw it in the trash. I had no time for love.
I had to get control of myself. I did a hundred sit-ups and fifty push-ups. I started doing more sit-ups as punishment for my weakness. After two hundred ninety-nine, I collapsed on the floor.
I stared up at the white ceiling, trying to catch my breath. I knew that working with my target over an extended period could lead to an emotional attachment—just like with Milky. She started coming for dinner every night, and if she didn’t appear I’d be worried sick. I’d imagine that she’d been run over by car, or had been in a fight and was dying in the gutter. Once, I didn’t see her for two weeks. When she finally turned up she was a filthy bag of fur and bones. I decided I had to make her mine. I closed the kitchen window and kept her inside for good … away from all the evil humans and animals. I gave her a bath and let her sleep in my bed. Now she wears a collar with a name tag. She’s my pet and her destiny is in my hands.
My feelings for Conan were going to destroy me. I had to stop this madness. “Erase all attachment,” I told myself. I had to be numb to him. I was numb to physical pain, and I needed to steel myself against emotional pain.
I looked at the scar above my waist. It would be with me for life and it was Mimi’s fault. Her weakness—her love for the mob boss—stopped her from going in for the kill when she had a chance. I was sliced open and barely escaped with my life. Vanus came to our rescue and all I remember was running to the car holding my bleeding wound. I was unconscious before we got back to the Academy.
The White Queen’s doctors saved me, but they said I was dead for ten seconds. For ten seconds, my heart didn’t beat. I saw my mother in those ten seconds. Her face and the sunflower field were a blur of sepia—like old photographs—until everything went pitch-black. When I opened my eyes I was back in the sterile white room with blinding lights, white coats, and stainless steel medical instruments.
I had life-saving surgery and I stayed in the mansion for the next few weeks. The White Queen’s nurses cleaned my wound every day and made sure I ate enough to heal. When I started physical therapy I had to be careful not to rip out my stitches. I did a lot of stretching, and I played shooting games on a Wii to keep up my eye-hand coordination. Slowly, I regained my strength and my health … and my resolve to live. I still had to find my mother and I wasn’t about to give up.
I never forgave Mimi for her mistake, for her weakness. I swore—for the sake of my sisters—that I would never compromise my missions.
No Happy Endings
Conan was cold to me on Monday morning—no flowers, no kisses, no sweet words. It was as if Saturday never happened. He locked himself in his office and buried himself in work. He barely even acknowledged me when I brought him his lunch.
I tried not to worry about him, but it really started getting to me in the afternoon. I began thinking about his last secretary. I wondered if she left because of his kinks or because he was a total prick after she submitted to him.
Was this Conan’s idea of being exclusive? Did he always torment his lovers, get them to submit so that he could entwine them in pleasure and pain as part of some cruel fantasy? Did he have a dungeon with torture devices? Was he just a sick, kinky bastard who derived pleasure from sadistic games? What other secrets was he hiding? Did I imagine everything? Am I overreacting?
I finished my work early and sent Conan an email saying I was going home sick. I didn’t think I’d be able to hold it together on the subway and I took a taxi.
* * *
There was a rose on the sidewalk outside my building. I picked it up before I went inside.
Milky was sleeping on the sofa. I flopped down next to her and stroked her neck. The loud vibration of her purrs against my hand was a comfort. At least someone loves me.
A few realizations hit me like a ton of bricks. The White Queen gave me everything I needed to start a new life. Without her, I wouldn’t be who I am. My sisters, the Red Hourglass, and my missions were all part of me. I have to serve the White Queen. The old me—the naïve me who could trust men—was dead. I could never trust a man again. They only disappointed me … time and time again.
I started plucking the petals off the rose, chanting “he loves me, he loves me not” like a silly little girl. I felt like I was on the verge of an emotional breakdown and I decided to take some time off work.
I figured I needed a week to detach from my emotions and get down to business again. I sent Conan an email.
Dear Conan,
I have to take leave for the rest of the week. I hope this is okay.
Regards,
Scarlet Walters
He replied immediately.
Scarlet,
Your leave is approved.
Is anything wrong? I’m always here to help.
Conan W. Casey
Chief Security Officer
Wilmar Enterprises
____________________
Conan,
Thank you. Nothing’s wrong. I just need a break.
Scarlet Walters
____________________
Scarlet,
I’ll call you after work.
Conan W. Casey
Chief Security Officer
Wilmar Enterprises
I shut down my laptop and turned off my phone. Did he really care? No, he didn’t. He was just using me.
* * *
The next morning, I had a text message from Vanus: “Don’t forget the milk.” That meant there was something for me in the dead drop. I went downstairs and grabbed the white envelope from the milk box.
My instructions from the White Queen were exactly as I expected. I had to get the date of the meeting with Zhong Yuan and find out where their people would be staying. I crumpled up the page and tossed it in the toilet. That was my favorite way of destroying our paper trail. I liked watching the runny ink and crushed paper swirl around in spirals before everything washed away.
Conan called my cell phone. I didn’t want to answer, but I did.
“Hello.”
“Scarlet, is anything wrong?”
“I’m not feeling well, but I’ll be f
ine.”
“Are you sure? Should I come over?”
“No. I just need to take this week off … to think about things.”
“Are you uncomfortable with my proposal?”
“I’m still considering it, but I really don’t know if getting closer to you is a good idea.”
“Because I tied you up?”
“No, I enjoyed that.” I didn’t even know if I was lying or not. It felt good, but I hated the humiliation and the old memories it dredged up. Conan confused me, made me do stupid things. I should never have trusted him, or slept with him. I’m a fool.
“Well, what then? Are things moving too fast? We can slow down …”
“Conan, it’s tricky being in a relationship with someone at work.” I couldn’t tell him I was upset because he ignored me, or that our relationship was doomed because I was spying on him.
“It might take some time to adjust, but I’m sure we can figure it out.”
“I don’t know.”
“Trust me Scarlet. I’ll pick you up Friday evening … for the weekend.”
“Hmm.” I hesitated. “Okay.” I had to stay close to him for the mission.
“Have a good rest of the week. Call me anytime.”
“Thanks.”
“Take care,” he said. “I have to get back to a meeting.”
My emotions were in turmoil. Conan was alluring and repulsive at the same time. Like waves of the sea, I was drawn to him before backing off. The control he had over me was dangerous.
I called Mimi and asked her to come over after work. I didn’t trust her like I used to, and I didn’t want to reveal my weakness to her, but she was the only person I could talk to.
* * *
“What’s going on?” Mimi asked as she sat down on the sofa and kicked off her shoes.
“I’ve lost it!” I said, pacing back and forth.
“What are you talking about? What have you lost?”
“I’m worried that I’m falling in love with Conan. I don’t think I can kill someone I’ve grown attached to.”
“He’s not a target, silly. All you have to do is get information, no killing. Conan is Johnson Wilmar’s heir and you’re working with him, getting close to him. You owe the White Queen too much to give up this opportunity for personal reasons.”
Red Hourglass Page 14