by J. Nichole
“I still can’t believe you are leaving us.” Bri looks around my empty cubicle. “Better yet, I can’t believe you are leaving me.” I shrug. I still can’t believe it either. This move has lost all its appeal, even the raise isn’t all that exciting anymore. Considering I’m leaving like a grown ass college student, balling on a forever budget, you’d think more money would make me a happy camper, but nope, I’m not a happy camper.
“Girl, you and me both.” I sigh, grabbing my notepads and laptop to pack into my saddlebag. “This Dallas team better be on point. If not, I’m phoning a friend, someone will have to tap me out.” Bri laughs and leans against my now empty desk. “I guess I’ll see you later.”
“Yeah, you know it,” she says as she hugs me around my neck. “We’ll get together before you leave.” I’m heading home to put the boxes on the moving truck, then to fall into these practices with the girls.
When the last box is out of my apartment I stand looking around my place. Suitcases ready to roll to my parents’ house. I decided it’d be easier to crash at their place since my furniture is gone.
Rolling my suitcase out of the door and into the hallway, I see my nosey neighbor eyeing me. For the first time, I don’t feel the need to ignore her. I wave as I walk past her and give her the chance, as she usually does, to ask where I’m going. “I saw the trucks outside.” She looks down at my suitcase. “Are you moving?”
“I am, to Dallas,” I say mustering a smile.
“Good luck to you,” she says opening her door. Continuing to my car I wonder why I’d been irritated with her in the past. She was always quick to speak, but her questions on the nosey side were never too much, I just never slowed down to give her attention.
On my way to the studio I pass Allegro, the coffee shop that started it all. I smile at the thought of running into Aiden. The thought of fate bringing us together that day, and me being single, and open to meeting him. Maybe fate will act on our behalf again. I sigh, who am I kidding? Fate is done with my ass.
The studio is packed with girls and boys of all ages. Dance instructors are barking out instructions to the dance moms and dads, telling them what they’ll do the day of the recital. I’ve always loved recitals, demonstrating what we learned throughout the year, the last hoorah before summer. This time, the recital has more meaning, the last time this studio will host a year-end recital. The last time many of these girls will dance together.
Walking through the crowd I find my girls in our room, already in formation. I toss my bag in the corner and stand in front of them waiting for the beat to drop in the music. As it does, they take off, and I watch them through the mirrors. When they land the ending I applaud loudly, beaming from ear to ear. “Perfect, ladies.” I couldn’t ask for a more perfect performance. I hope their nerves don’t get the best of them on Saturday. All I could ask for is this focus and dedication to each move.
At the end of our extended practice I give the girls instructions for our dress rehearsal. Walking around inspecting their current hair situations, I remind them, “Remember, high ponytails.” I stop in front of one of the older girls and say, “And make sure you gel your edges.” She gives me a side-eye. “Remember, full costumes on Friday.”
Grabbing my bag, I walk out of the classroom with the girls. “Hey,” I hear a male voice say. When I look up, I see Janice’s brother walking towards us.
Janice pulls him by the arm and barely whispers, “I told you she has a boyfriend now.” He looks down at her then up to me as I try to avoid eye contact. When he walks away from her I hear her say, “Hard head.”
“Excuse me, Jennifer,” I hear him say from behind me.
“Yes,” I say as I turn around to face him.
“I’m home for the summer.” He searches my eyes before continuing. “I just wanted to see if you had time to grab lunch.” As if he wasn’t just told by his sister, although inaccurately, that I had a boyfriend he decided to shoot his shot anyway.
“Actually, I don’t think I’ll be able to. I’m pretty busy before the recital, then shortly after, I’ll be moving to Dallas.”
“Told you,” I hear his sister say from behind us. “Hard headed self.”
He hangs his head before saying, “Well if you get hungry during all the prep for recital, you can hit me up.” He looks down at his phone. “Can I get your number? Then I can text you mine.” I rattle off my number, hoping this will be the end of our interaction. “Thanks.” He smiles, and as he walks away I admire his athletic build. He has an ass that's ripe from squats. I shake my head as I make my way to my car.
Now that I’m staying at my parent’s house, my drive home is longer. But at least I don’t have to worry about grabbing food like I usually do after class. My mom has promised a home-cooked meal for the entire week. Of course I won’t complain.
“Jen,” my sister says as she elbows me in the side. It’s been a while since we have spent more than a Sunday evening together. Before I left for college, my sister and brother were in grade school, and we didn’t have many common interests. Now my sister, who thinks she’s grown because she graduates from high school this year, believes we have everything in common. “I got my dorm assignment last week,” she says with a goofy smile.
“Let me guess, Harris Hall?” When my mom told me Binky only applied to L.U. I was overly excited. I know she’ll have as much fun in Florida as I did, and I can’t wait to help move her into the dorms, and fly in for game weekends. She’ll probably be tired of me as much as she’ll see me in Tallahassee.
She claps her hands and says, “Yes.” I hug her and she proceeds to tell me all about her roommate who she’s already connected with over the phone. Nicole, my dorm mate, and I didn’t talk much before we moved into the dorms. But it didn’t take long for us to bond. We quickly realized our differences, which caused all types of unnecessary drama, but in the end we were thick as thieves.
“Let me know what you want me to grab for your room. Do you have a theme yet?” I’ve been amazed at the decorating skills of these incoming freshmen. When we were in school, and suddenly I feel old, we didn’t go all out.
“Graffiti.” Binky is super artsy. Like me, she’s been dancing since she was a kid, but when she started high school she became more interested in her art classes. “I have already started looking at some pieces to hang in my room, and I’ll probably do like a black comforter.”
My mom walks into the kitchen and groans. “Binky, a black comforter?” She leans on the counter across from us. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. You need bright colors. If you remember, those rooms don’t have many windows.” She scrunches her eyebrows.
“Ma, the black goes with the graffiti pics I’m looking at.” I watch as they go back and forth about her color scheme. When they try to pull me into the discussion I throw my hands up. “Anyway, Jen, I’ll have a nice list of things you can get for me as a graduation gift.” She winks at me.
My mom pulls plates out of the cabinets as my dad and brother make their way into the kitchen. My brother, only a year younger than my sister, stands taller than everyone in our family. When he reaches for a dinner roll off the counter my mom slaps his hand. “Baby girl, your mom is showing out for you this week.” My dad walks around the counter looking at the spread my mom has laid out. “I’m sure you’ll miss all this good cooking.” He grabs a plate and starts piling it high with food. “I know you’ll miss my barbecue.” I nod my head in agreement. I’ll miss my mama’s Sunday dinners and my daddy’s barbecue.
“Baby girl,” my mama says after my dad blesses the food. “What’s going on with you and Aiden?” Her eyes seem to sparkle when she says his name. Ever since she met him at the barbecue she’s been completely smitten with him.
I finish my bite of the pot roast and say, “I broke up with him.” Both my parents gasp and Binky looks at me like I just used the Lord’s name in vain. My brother on the other hand is still hands deep in his food not looking up. “I didn’t want to deal wit
h a long distance relationship and a new position.”
My mom twists her lips before saying, “Baby girl, really? Is that the only reason?” I nod my head. And it’s true, partially, but neither of my parents need to know I’m jealous of Aiden’s assistant. My mom places her fork on her plate and begins to detail her relationship with my dad when they first met. “Your dad traveled with work, a lot.” My dad was a business consultant, traveling most of the week for years before settling in Houston. “It was difficult only seeing him on the weekend.” My mom is retelling this story, the story of how they had their start, as if I’ve never heard it before.
“Ma.” Binky looks at my mom and I can tell she’s trying to manage her urge to roll her eyes. “We’ve heard this story.” I cut my eyes in her direction as my dad gives her the business for acting grown. I sip from my glass of water as my mom continues the story, ignoring the interruption from my sister.
“I’m glad y’all worked it out, Mom. I just don’t think it’s my time right now.” My mom shakes her head and gives up on the topic, turning to my brother to ask him about his summer basketball schedule.
Chapter Twenty-Two
“Let’s do this,” I say to the girls before lining them up backstage. My stomach is doing flips, and I wipe my palms on my leggings as I watch the girls take the stage. When the beat drops and the girls dance across the stage I’m relieved that they are dancing their hearts out. Not a missed step, not a single one. And when they hit their final move, I join the audience in applause. “Great job, ladies!” I yell when they exit the stage.
I sneak into the audience to watch the remainder of the show. During the ballet performance, a tear rolls down my cheek. Not only because the performers flowed across the stage with grace, not because the ballad they chose was perfect for the choreography, but because for the first time since accepting the Dallas position, I realize I’m leaving all of this behind.
Wiping my face, I run backstage to gather my class for the finale. It’s usually a mix of choreography highlighting all the dancers from the show. But tonight, because it’s the last recital for the studio, we are not only having the girls from the show dancing in the finale, we also have past dancers.
I lace up my jazz shoes and fluff out my shirt getting ready for my time to dance across the stage, one last time. Seeing ladies who danced when I was a student is nostalgic, and our song brings me back to high school like it was yesterday. When I hear “Yeah," I stand aside as the other ladies find their spots on the stage. I walk a few steps back before taking a running start into my front hand springs onto the stage. For most of us who hadn’t performed since leaving the studio, we didn’t do too bad on stage.
After our last bow, I corral my girls together to give them a pep talk. Reminding them to keep dancing, and more importantly do what they need to do to graduate and go on to college. I told myself I wouldn’t let myself get emotional, but it doesn’t take long before my eyes start watering.
Janice says, “Wait, Ms. Jennifer, we have a gift for you.” She looks out into the audience before her and the girls disappear. Each returning with a red rose.
“Aw, girls, you didn’t have to do that,” I say as I collect each rose into my arms. They wrap me in a group hug before stepping aside.
“Congrats,” he says as he hands me another red rose. The girls standing behind me collectively aw. I watch him as he puts a hand in the pocket of his slacks, the other holding an envelope. The blue button down shirt he is wearing is unbuttoned enough to be equally casual and sexy. “The girls did an amazing job.” He looks behind me and smiles at them. “And your performance, those flips.” He wipes a hand over his mouth. “I had no idea you could still do all of that.”
I look down at the roses and I don’t know what to say. My body is telling me to hug him, to let him wrap his arms around me. Instead I say, “Thank you,” softly. “Did you enjoy the show?”
He nods before handing me the envelope from his hand. I take it and add it to the stack of roses I’m holding. “Can I hug you?”
Closing the gap between us, I nod my head. He wraps his arms around me and I feel his chin on the top of my head. I close my eyes and inhale his scent. I’m afraid to open my eyes ‘cause I’m sure the tears that flowed earlier have returned. Before I let him see me cry I back out of his grasp and say, “Thank you.” Looking down at the roses and envelope, I add, “For everything.”
He leans into my ear and whispers, “Anything for you.” When he turns to walk away the girls collectively gasp. I turn to look at them and they are standing as amazed as I am.
“Alright ladies”—I look at each of them and smile—“remember what I told you.”
Before leaving the auditorium I find my family. My mom hugs me and says through sniffles, “Baby girl, I miss watching you dance.”
“Did I do okay?” I ask with my shoulders hunched. My mom was the typical dance mom. At all of my practices when I was young, and didn’t miss a performance. As I got older she’d offer praise when warranted, and critique when needed.
“Amazing job.” She looks behind her before saying, “And I saw you talking to Aiden. Has he convinced you to reconsider a long distance relationship yet?”
Laughing, I shake my head and lead my family out of the auditorium.
“Dallas is cool,” I say cradling the phone on my shoulder. “Hold on, let me put you on speaker. If I don’t have this apartment unpacked before Monday I should be slapped.”
“I need to come for a visit,” Laila says. “Now that I’m not planning the wedding, I have a ton of time on my hands.” I place the dishes in the cabinet near the refrigerator. My new apartment is spacious, but not as luxurious as my apartment back in Houston. I decided since I was doing this one on my own that I should stay well below what I could afford. “Find the best barbecue joint and you can take me when I visit.”
Laila’s always been a foodie, but her request is random. “Didn’t you just finish lunch?”
“Yeah, I don’t know what’s up with me these days. Maybe ‘cause I’m not trying to fit into a wedding dress my mind is telling me I can be as greedy as I want to be.” With my phone on the counter the unpacking process is quicker. Laila tells me about married life, and I’m happy to hear not much has changed from when they were engaged, or even dating. I didn’t suspect they would. Chris has always been a decent dude, spoiling Laila whenever possible but giving her enough space to grow into her career.
“But what’s up with your love life, chick?” she asks with sarcasm laced all through her question. “I couldn’t believe it when Nicole told me you were breaking up with the Mr. Boyce himself.”
I cackle at the formality she uses to address Aiden. I wish I could say he ain’t nobody special, but I’d be lying. “Yeah, remember how you were after Chris graduated?” I ask, remembering when they were about to try the long distance thing but Chris broke it off with her. At the time, we didn’t know it was to save her from his crazy ass ex-girlfriend, but she was crushed. “Nevermind, probably a bad example.”
“Yeah,” she laughs. “Terrible example actually.”
“I have no good examples. Hell I don’t even know if I believe my shitty reasoning anymore.”
“Then why?” she asks. I shrug my shoulders and scrunch my lips as if she could see me. “I’m sure if you called him, he’d be willing to make it work.” Although she’s probably right, I need to at least give this single in Dallas thing a try.
“I don’t know. Maybe.” I hear shuffling in the background and I tell her, “I’ll call you later, I should finish up this unpacking.”
The movers placed all my furniture where I directed, and thankfully I had my boxes labeled with their respective rooms, and the movers placed each one in a pile in the middle of the floor. More motivation for me to finish unpacking.
The apartment is quiet, and the echo from the hollowness is eerie. I walk around looking for my portable speaker before remembering I had it packed in my car.
Wh
en I open my trunk I hang my head and sigh. After unpacking my boxes I’ll still have to unpack my car. I hope my memory is correct and my portable speaker is in my dance bag. With it on my shoulder I grab other bags in each hand and struggle back into the apartment. Having a friend, or anyone, to help with this unpacking would have been nice.
I pass a few neighbors who smile tightly but none stop to offer help or ask nosey questions. In the middle of my living room floor I drop my bags and dig through my dance bag for my speaker. The speaker is at the bottom of the bag under my shoes, leggings, and shirt from the night of the recital. I throw the clothes towards my bedroom and an envelope falls out. Picking up the envelope, I stare at it before sliding my finger under the flap.
Unfolding the paper, that I thought would be a letter of some sort, is an official document. A deed to the dance studio. I stare at the paper then remember that Aiden handed me this envelope at the recital. Shaking my head, I place the envelope and document on my coffee table.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Looking around the conference room, I take a deep breath before introducing myself to my new team. “Hello, I’m Jennifer,” I continue, describing my experience with the company and the expectations I have of my new position. The team introduces themselves, and I’m saddened by the lack of diversity. I turn to my side and regret that Bri isn’t beside me.
The team asks to take me to lunch to welcome me to Dallas, and I have to eat, so I agree. Sitting at my desk, I unpack the few things I brought to make it personal. A couple of framed pictures of my family, and one of me and the girls from Laila’s wedding. Rubbing my hand across the frame of me and the girls, I remember that weekend. All of Laila’s wedding activities made me miss having them around, and now that I’m here in Dallas without friends, I miss Houston. I miss home.
My phone dings with a text message, and I happily turn from my laptop to read it.