“I’m good. How about you?” I asked when she pulled away and my thoughts returned.
“I’m okay.” She gave me a smile before sitting down.
I sat down across from her, resting my elbows on my knees. “My brother told me you were in town. Are you just visiting your dad or are you here to stay?”
“I’m not sure. I just needed a break. I haven’t made up my mind on the next step, yet. I went by your house yesterday,” she added, changing the subject.
“Nicole told me,” I answered, not sure what to say.
“She seems nice. I’m glad you’re happy.” She nodded her head slowly and gave me that forced smile.
I was happy with Nicole, at least I thought I was, until Lennox came blowing into town, shattering my world once again.
I looked up to her and a wave of tingles washed over me. “What about you? Are you happy? I saw the big engagement announcement.”
She twisted the ends on her frayed shorts. “About that,” she let out a long breath. “I called it off, between you and me.”
“Why?” I tried to keep my voice controlled and even, but mentally I did a fist pump, thinking she could be mine again.
“I just couldn’t do it.” She shook her head with sadness laced in her voice.
She called off the engagement? This shouldn’t make me happy, but it does.
“Oh, I’m sorry for prying.” I shook my head but kept my eyes locked on her. I hadn’t seen her in years, I didn’t want to take my eyes off her for a second.
“I should probably get going, but I would really like to hang out with everyone again. Do you think we could all meet up at the bar later?”
“I will ask Trent and see if he and Sarah have plans.” I stood beside her.
“Are they still together?”
“Yeah, they got married two years ago and just had a little baby girl a few months back.”
“I can’t even picture Trent as a dad. I can’t believe so much has changed.” She shook her head as she made her way to the edge.
“Not everything has changed.” I offered her a grin, hoping she caught what that meant.
She looked at me, or through me, and offered a hint of a smile. “I guess I will see you later?”
“Yeah, I’ll be there after work.”
“Bye, Mason.” She turned and walked down the dock.
“Bye, Lennox,” I whispered to myself. I watched as she got further and further away from me. It felt like the first day her and her dad brought the boat to me. I remembered watching her walk down the same dock, away from me.
Once she was no longer in view, I jumped from the boat and ran into the rental building. “Guess who I just saw.”
“Who?” Trent asked, not bothering to look up from his phone.
“Lennox. She wants to know if we can all go out tonight.”
“Lennox? Like, your long-lost love, Lennox?”
“The one and only. So, do you and Sarah have plans for tonight?”
He seemed to think it over. “I don’t know if we can get a sitter. Better go without us.”
I knew what he was doing, he was giving me a chance to be alone with her. “I appreciate what you’re doing, but I really don’t think I need to be alone with her. Who knows what I’ll do.” I ran my hands through my hair, nerves and excitement breaking through.
“I know exactly what you’ll do.” He let out a small laugh.
“Exactly, and I can’t do that. Nicole, remember?”
“Who cares? I hate that girl, anyway.”
“What? Why? You never told me that.”
“I didn’t say anything because I thought she was just a good time for you, but then you two got serious and she practically lives at your house. I’ve known that girl for a while and she’s trying to trap you.” Trent finally sat down his phone and looked at me.
I let out a laugh. “What do you mean, trap me?”
“You know exactly what it means. She puts on this act, like she’s such a good girlfriend but really she’s just a whore that’s just trying to land herself a husband and a baby daddy.”
I laughed again, not even knowing what to say to that.
“I’m serious, man. But, you’re going to have to go at this alone tonight, my friend. As soon as Sarah puts Macy down, the clothes come off.” He had a shit-eating grin, like he had already planned out every minute in his head.
“Okay, enough. See you later, dick.” I stood to leave, moving quickly before he revealed any details that I didn’t want to hear.
The day drug by. I couldn’t wait to see Lennox. Nicole had to work one weekend every month, so it was the only time I had to see her alone. I wasn’t planning on cheating on Nicole, but I had to know where I stood with Lennox and I couldn’t do that with Nicole hanging around.
Once five o’clock came, I practically ran to my truck.
An hour later I was pulling up at home. I threw a pizza in the oven and went to shower while it cooked.
I stepped in and let the hot water flow over my tired body. Thinking about how beautiful Lennox looked while she was sitting across from me on the boat, I became hard.
What am I going to do tonight if I can’t even think about her without this happening?
I began to take care of the problem. I didn’t want to pop a boner while I was alone with her. I knew it would only make me do something stupid.
I stepped out of the shower after washing off and taking care of business and pulled on some boxers. I could smell the pizza as I made my way down the stairs. I peeked into the oven before pulling it out and sitting it on top to search for a pizza cutter.
I cut the pizza, but put the whole thing on a plate anyway. I grabbed a couple beers from the fridge and went to the living room to watch TV and eat while trying to calm down.
I had too much anxiety about meeting up with Lennox.
How is this going to turn out? It could be the closure I need or it could just open the wounds that still feel fresh. Then there is Nicole, fucking Nicole. I don’t care what Trent said, she’s not a bad person. Not that I’ve seen anyway. She has always been upfront and honest with me. She has always been supportive and loving. She doesn’t deserve what I’m about to do.
I should call her and tell her. This isn’t me. I’m not that asshole that has one girl and goes off behind her back to go on a date with another.
I had the phone in my hand but I couldn’t make myself call.
Fuck it, there’s nothing that she needs to know yet. I’m not going out with the intention of cheating on her. I’m going out with an old friend, that’s it. An old friend that I’m attracted to and still completely in love with, even though I hadn’t seen her in five years.
I pulled myself off the couch to put some clothes on. Leaving my mess, I made my way toward the bedroom. I pulled on a pair of jeans that hung loosely around my hips, just enough to show the top band of my boxer briefs, and began looking for a shirt. I felt like a fucking girl, I wanted to look good but not like I tried too hard.
After going through every shirt I owned, I pulled on a fitted black t-shirt and went into the bathroom to finish getting ready.
I styled my hair, which I didn’t do often, and put on some cologne. After looking in the mirror, I shook my head at how fucking stupid I was being. It felt like our first date all over again. I pushed the thoughts away and grabbed my wallet, phone, and keys off the dresser before making my way to the truck.
I pulled into the bar parking lot an hour later. I had to sit in my truck and give myself a little pep talk before I could even go inside.
Finally, after telling myself that I wouldn’t do anything with Lennox that I would regret, I walked inside the crowded bar.
The music was loud, people were swaying back and forth on the dance floor, and almost every table was full. I slowly made my way to the bar.
“Mason? I haven’t seen you in here on a Friday night in years.” Wendy crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the bar.
&
nbsp; I shrugged. “Meeting an old friend.”
Wendy gave me that, ‘yeah right’ smile. “What will ya have?”
“A beer and two shots of Jack.” I needed it to loosen up and calm down.
She poured the shots and sat them in front of me while she went to grab the beer. I slammed one shot and then the other before she even came back with my beer.
“Damn, you’re serious tonight.” Wendy sat down my beer and picked up the money.
I gave her a smile before taking the beer and finding a table.
There was one table left at the back of the bar. Nobody ever sat at it because you couldn’t see what was going on in the rest of the bar. I knew we would be left alone there. I sat down with my nerves going through the roof.
I drank two more beers and talked to some people around me before I saw Lennox walk in. She was drop dead sexy in her short jean skirt and red tank top. Her hair flowed down her back, just the way I liked it. She stopped dead in her tracks and our eyes locked. It was like time stood still and I was nineteen again.
Lennox smiled, eyes lighting up as she slowly walked toward me. I swear it was like slow motion.
Before she could make it to the table, a group of people stopped her and I noticed that she was signing bar napkins and anything else they handed her way.
That was new for me. She had always been the talk of the town, from being the hot new girl, to my girlfriend, to the girl that made it big. But the whole autograph thing, that was something I knew I would have to get used to.
She was just the same old Lennox to me. The girl that I fell head over heels in love with from the moment I first laid eyes on her.
The girl that tricked me into giving her her first shot, the girl I watched sleep in my arms, and the girl that broke my heart in two and took half of it with her five years before.
Lennox smiled at the people that were asking questions and signed whatever they asked her to. She finally excused herself and made her way to me.
Finally.
I stood from the table and wrapped my arms around her for only a second.
“I’m glad you broke away. I was worried that they were going to capture you and never let you go,” I joked before sitting back down and taking a drink of my beer.
“Me too.” Her eyes were wide, but she offered up her breathtaking smile. There’s my smile.
I let my eyes linger over her. They were greedy, starving for her for far too long.
Her face was covered in makeup, dark eyeshadow and eyeliner, but it made her green eyes shine even brighter. There was something off about them, though.
Is she sick? Maybe it’s just that I hadn’t seen her in years. Some things were bound to change.
“I don’t ever get to go anywhere without security, so this is new for me.” She looked around the bar, finding Wendy and waving her down to order straight Jack.
“Wow. Really stepped up your drinking game, huh?” I remembered how her nose used to wrinkle when she took a shot.
“It helps with the stress,” she shrugged. “So, where’s Nicole?”
“She’s working the midnight shift at the hospital this weekend.” I shrugged, not really wanting to talk about Nicole. Nicole was a name I didn’t even want to hear when I was around Lennox. I didn’t need to be reminded of how I was doing her wrong.
“Oh, a nurse?”
I nodded.
“How honorable.” Her soft lips turned up in a grin as her eyes locked on mine.
“Are you jealous?” I mocked. Giving her the smile I knew she couldn’t resist.
“What? No. No, I’m not jealous.” She waved her hand dismissing the thought but I noticed when her cheeks turned pink. She never was a good liar.
Wendy brought her drink back and Lennox ordered another and a beer before Wendy had even left the table.
“The first one goes down way too easy.” She wouldn’t meet my eyes.
“I think I need to get to know this new Lennox. The Lennox I knew could barely take a shot.”
“Well, this Lennox loves Jack. I think you had something to do with that.” She flashed me her smile and my heart started racing.
Her eyes were trained on her glass, watching as she swirled the liquid like she was nervous. “So, tell me what you’ve been doing all this time.”
“Just, working. I took a job at the high school coaching the soccer team.”
“Really? I’m so happy you got back into soccer. I know how much it meant to you. What about Nicole? How long have you two been together, how did you meet?”
I took a drink. She just wants to jump right into this.
I took a long breath before leaning forward and resting my forearms on the table. My nerves hadn’t settled in the slightest. I let out a nervous laugh at the awkwardness before beginning. “We met a while back, in here actually. It started off just fucking around, but a few months ago, she wanted to take the next step,” I ran my hand through my hair and moved my eyes back to hers. “It was the day you announced your engagement, actually. I figured you didn’t need me waiting around any longer, so I made the plunge. I finally committed to the first girl since you.”
I noticed the look in her eyes, regret, sadness, hurt. Did I cause this look? Is she upset that I’m with Nicole?
“What about you and this actor?” I asked, almost mocking.
She instantly covered up the look in her eyes. “What about him?”
“You accepted his proposal. You must have been in love,” I choked the words out. I didn’t want to think them, let alone, say them.
She tried to smile. I watched as she thought out what she was going to say. Finally, after what seemed like forever, she answered.
6
Lennox
Did I love Chris? Did I ever?
“No, there was a short time when I may have tricked myself into believing that I did. But, I never did,” I shook my head before staring into the ice-blue that was cutting into me. “There was something holding me back. I realized a long time ago that I no longer had my heart. I left it here with you.”
That seemed to take him by surprise. He ran his hands through his dark hair and a smile spread across his face. “I know the feeling.” Mason tipped up his beer and finished it off. He gestured for Wendy. She came over and he ordered us another round.
“What happened Lennox? How did we drift apart so easily?” he asked with sadness in his eyes.
I offered a small smile before answering, “It was my fault. I never should have left you. You’re with someone else now and happy. I shouldn’t have come back here.” I shook my head and stood from the table.
He caught my hand in his. “Don’t,” his eyes were pleading with me. I watched as his jaw flexed and his Adam’s Apple bobbed in his throat. I felt tingles spread throughout my body just from his hand touching mine. It was like a bolt of lightning, stopping me dead in my tracks. “Please stay. You don’t know how long I’ve waited for this day.”
I couldn’t deny him, not with that look in his eye. I sat back down and was happy when Wendy brought over our drinks. I needed to numb the feelings that were bubbling to the surface. The only thing I wanted to do was kiss his lips, taste him, and feel him pressed against me, but I couldn’t do those things. He wasn’t mine and hadn’t been for a long time. And as badly as I wanted to take him back, I couldn’t screw up his life. God knew I had screwed up mine enough.
After taking our shots, I looked back to Mason. He looked so happy sitting across from me.
Had he really been waiting for me all this time?
“What are we doing? You’re already with someone, aren’t you afraid I will fuck up your life again?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know what this is. That’s why I came tonight. I have to find out if,” his ice-blue eyes shined as they looked into mine. “If, you still love me. I can’t go on without knowing. Every day since we broke up, I’ve wondered if you were going to come back to me. Then, when I finally give up and accepted that you would never
be mine again, here you are. Are you here for me? Are you staying?”
I didn’t know what to say.
Yes, I still love you. Yes, I am here for you. But, do I say that? Do I ruin what he has with Nicole if I don’t even know if I am going to stay? Do I want to give up my career and move back home? When I left, I only thought about getting away from Chris. I thought Mason had moved on and wouldn’t want anything to do with me after breaking his heart.
“I do still love you, Mason. I always have and I think I always will. I won’t ever be able to leave us behind.” I raised my eyes to his and saw a glimmer of hope. “But I don’t have the answers to your other questions yet. I didn’t have a plan when I came back. I just had to get away. I don’t know if I want to go back and I don’t know if I’m ready to give up on my career. I do know that I don’t want to ruin what you and Nicole have. If you’re happy, I don’t want to mess that up for you.” I hoped he understood.
“Let’s get out of here. I can’t think with all this going on.” He stood from the table, reaching his hand for mine.
I took his hand and he pulled me from the bar. We were approached by another group of fans but Mason wouldn’t stop or release me to talk to them. I was thankful for that. They all wanted to know what I was doing there and about the wedding. Questions I couldn’t answer or didn’t want to answer, anyway.
Mason led me down the gravel road and onto his boat. I should have known that was where he wanted to go. He helped me over the side and I took my seat as he started up the boat and pulled away from the dock.
Instantly, the boat bouncing off the choppy water made my ribs ache in protest. I breathed through the pain and hoped that he didn’t notice. It was a good thing I drank as much as I did. I knew the pain would have been unbearable without it.
The wind blew through my hair and the salt water sprayed up into a mist that covered my face. I closed my eyes and sat back letting the air and water wash over me. It almost felt like the first-time Mason had taken me on his boat.
A Second Chance at Forever (Chance #2) Page 6