By Saturday night, Marie Dickinson was badly upset. “What do you suppose is going on?” she asked Bill again. “It’s as though Peter has just walked off the edge of the earth.”
S:
You definitely remember coming into the house and seeing your mother on the top, and you definitely remember cutting your mother’s throat with a straight razor, and you definitely remember seeing blood on her throat when she was lying on the floor.
P:
Yes.
S:
Do you remember noticing that her throat was cut when she was lying on the floor?
P:
No.
S:
Did you notice the cut in her abdomen when she was lying on the floor?
P:
No, I didn’t.
S:
Did you notice the condition of her T-shirt when she was lying on the floor?
P:
I noticed it was rolled up.
S:
OK.
Now, get what he says in the statement. He came into the house, he looked and saw his mother in the cot. Then saw her on the floor. Then he cut—he remembers cutting his mother’s throat with a straight razor. That he remembers seeing blood on his mother’s throat while she was lying on the floor.
P:
Yes.
S:
And you were jumping on your mother’s legs and stomach.
P:
Well, wait a minute before you write anything. I remember the blood on my mother’s throat but I remember that clearly from my original statement. The blood.
S:
How many straight razors do you own?
P:
One.
S:
Now, you remember slashing once at your mother’s throat with a straight razor, right?
P:
Right.
S:
Are we through playing headgames now, Pete?
P:
No more headgames.
S:
Look, if we can help you—and we can help you—we will help you.
P:
OK. That I understand. That’s why I’m doing this now. Jim, when this goes to court will it be considered temporary insanity?
M:
I don’t know, Pete.
P:
After having this on my record is there any chance I can still get on the state police?
M:
All depends on what happens.
That was with the straight razor you used for the airplanes?
P:
Mm-hm.
M:
Where was that razor?
P:
It was on the living-room table.
M:
You jumped on your mother’s legs?
P:
Mm-hm.
M:
What else do you remember? Also remember jumping on—let’s see—remember slashing at my mother’s throat with a straight razor I used for model airplanes. This was on the living-room table. I also remember jumping on my mother’s legs.
P:
That’s really just about it. Because I’m not sure about washing her off.
M:
Did you say something about kicking her or something?
P:
I don’t think so.
M:
All right. How about blood?
P:
OK. Do you have that in there—the area where it seems like a lapse in time? Know what I mean?
M:
No, not here.
P:
Well, that would be next. Could you put little quotes in between the part from where I was slashing my mother’s throat to where I jumped on her legs? You know, so you can tell that section is the stuff I—that I’m digging up.
M:
All right.
P:
Now, the next—from here on in it’s ah—I saw blood on her ah, on her ah, chest and on her throat and face. And I think it was on her T-shirt too. And the T-shirt was rolled up.
M:
Saw blood on her face—
P:
And throat.
M:
—and blood on her T-shirt?
P:
Mm-hm. I think. I’m pretty sure.
M:
And the shirt you say was rolled up?
P:
Yeah, rolled up to the bottom of her breast about.
M:
All right. Then what?
P:
Then I went to the phone and from there on in it’s the same as my original statement.
M:
OK. Pete, read it over for me please.
P:
Sign here?
M:
Sign right beside—want to lean on this?
P:
No, this is OK.
M:
OK. I want you to do something else here.
P:
Want me to initial.
M:
Here. I want you to initial up here and over here.
P:
I’ve got more initials written down now.
M:
Well, this is for protection. This is so later nobody can say that I added anything or deleted anything out of it. Now, down here at the bottom.
P:
Here?
M:
Yes. All right. Now, I want you to sign this page here.
P:
Are we leaving yet or can I speak to the lieutenant, possibly alone again? Before we leave?
M:
Let me just check to make sure I don’t have any mistakes here. You want to speak to Lieutenant Shay by himself?
P:
Mm-hm.
M:
OK.
P:
Getting chilly now, isn’t it?
M:
Yeah, it’s probably cool when you get outside and you don’t have a jacket, do you?
P:
No. I’ll survive. Can I have another cigarette, Jim?
M:
You need a match?
P:
I’ve got some.
M:
Throw this in the trash. Hey, Lieutenant!
P:
Well, I just stated it there and I signed it.
S:
Pardon me?
P:
I’ve done it and I’ve signed it. And, now I want to speak to you about some kind of psychiatric help. When you and I spoke man to man you said you’d help me.… Is there any possible way I could possibly live with your family if you had the room? If you had the room. I wouldn’t want to impose, and I know my godmother would pay my way.
S:
Well, it would be a rather unusual turn of events.
P:
I’ve taken a liking to you, a kind of father image, and I trust you. And I know you’re gonna do as much for me as you possibly can.
S:
Peter, I will do as much for you as I can. I have some friends in the psychiatric field. One fellow in particular I have in mind I would like you to talk with. Um, a psychiatrist that I think might be just what the doctor ordered.
P:
I would like to live with a family, like a complete family for a while anyway. When I was at Belignis, they treated me just like they did the rest of the kids. And that’s what I enjoyed.
S:
Pete, let me read this statement.
Lieutenant Shay left. Sergeant Kelly returned.
K:
How’s it going, Pete?
P:
OK.
K:
Gonna eat your sandwich?
P:
I’ve been taking a bite here and a bite there.
K:
Oh, Pete, I’ve just read your statement. Something’s still wrong here, Peter.
P:
Those are the things that I’m positive about. I don’t want to say something that I’m not sure of.
K:
What things aren’t you positive? Remember
, you and I were talking and we were talking about your mother’s legs. Remember?
P:
Yes.
K:
What did you do to her legs?
P:
I jumped on them.
K:
And what else did you do? What’s really burning inside of you that you don’t want to tell us about, that you did to your mother?
P:
I’m not sure. I know it sounds like I’m giving you the run …
K:
No. What do you think you did?
P:
Did I—I think I raped her.
K:
OK. Why do you say that?
P:
I mean that’s what it seems like I did. That’s what everything looks like I did.
K:
You mean you raped her with your penis or what?
P:
I don’t know.
K:
Well, what do you think?
P:
What do you mean, what do I think?
K:
Well, I called up Canaan and I know a few more facts now.
P:
Such as?
K:
Well, I want to hear them from you. OK? What else did you do to your mother?
P:
The things that I don’t know—they’re blank areas.
K:
What do you possibly think you did?
P:
I don’t know exactly what I did.
K:
Was your mother drunk or what?
P:
That I don’t remember at all.
K:
You told me before she’s an alcoholic.
P:
Yeah, I believe she was an alcoholic. She wouldn’t admit it.
K:
Most of them won’t.
P:
Well, I know that. People don’t like to admit that they’re addicted to something like that.
K:
Right. That’s the problem here with you, Pete. You don’t want to admit to what you did. You’re just thinking everybody will think you’re really sick. You know?
P:
Well, I realize what I’ve done. I’ll admit to doing it. But, it’s just I don’t remember the facts of doing it. I don’t remember every detail.
K:
What’s the worst thing you did to your mother?
P:
I did cut her throat.
K:
The next worst thing?
P:
The jumping up and down on her.
K:
The next worst thing?
P:
I don’t know. That’s about the only two things I put in the statement, I think.
K:
I know what you put in the statement. I just read it.
P:
The other thing was seeing the blood. And possibly if I raped her, ’cause that would be even above cutting her throat. But, I don’t know that I did that. I mean I don’t remember doing it. But, I must have done it.
K:
Why?
P:
That is the worst thing. I mean, since I was there.
K:
You did rape her?
P:
Well, I don’t know. I don’t know whether I did or not.
K:
I don’t think you did.
P:
You don’t?
K:
No.
P:
Well, what did the thing tell you?
K:
She wasn’t raped.
P:
She wasn’t?
K:
Did something else though.
P:
What?
K:
Well, I want you to tell me, Peter. By me telling you I’m just putting words in your mouth, which is foolish.
P:
But, I told you everything I can remember.
K:
Well, we talked about her legs and stuff, you were going to get sick. Why?
P:
I don’t know. Just the blood and everything, and thinking that I’d done it.
K:
There’s some reason why you said that to me before. But, I don’t want to tell you. The reason I don’t want to tell you, I don’t want to put words in your mouth. All right? But, I’d rather have you tell me and then by you telling me this verifies what I already know and we also know you’re trying to help yourself.
P:
Well, I am trying to help myself, and I’m gonna give it every effort to help you.
K:
All right.
P:
The things that I said in the statement are the things I’m sure I did.
K:
OK. What else did you do to hurt her?
P:
I don’t know.
K:
Well, what do you think you might have done?
P:
I thought I might have raped her.
K:
Mm. What else?
P:
I don’t know.
K:
Can you picture yourself raping her?
P:
No. I couldn’t picture myself doing it.
K:
OK. I don’t think you did. All right? Something else happened, Pete, and I think you might be trying to block it out of your mind. I’d rather hear it from you because if I tell you all I’m doing is putting words in your mouth and I’m not helping you. You see? Now, you tell me. ’Cause you’ve already told us the biggest part of it.
P:
I can’t think of anything else.
K:
Well, any other little details aren’t going to mean that much. They’re things that are going to help you.
P:
I can’t think of anything else though, right at this moment.
K:
What would be the worst way you could hurt your mother?
P:
By raping her.
K:
Mm. Why?
P:
Because it would be immoral, I think.
K:
But, as I said, Pete, I don’t think you did.
P:
Yes.
K:
But, Pete, other things happened to your mother in that house than what you’ve told us. I think you know but I think you’re ashamed to admit to them. I think you were in such a frenzy you did things that an average normal person wouldn’t do. All right?
P:
Right. I already figured that. Do you think when this comes to court it will be considered temporary insanity?
K:
Oh, Pete, don’t worry about courts. All right? Don’t worry about things like that.
P:
That’s all I can think of.
K:
If they present what they have right now, before a judge, there’s no doubt in my mind that the judge is going to think he’s got a coldblooded killer, instead of somebody who went off the deep end for a few minutes. And, this is why I’m trying to probe your mind right now and get all this other stuff out, so when we present it to the judge we can show him that at a particular time this guy wasn’t in a normal state of mind.
P:
Well, I wasn’t.
K:
This is what I’m saying. But, we have to have all the facts. And we’re probing awful deep on you, Pete.
P:
I know.
K:
You know, Pete, personally I think you want us to beat this out of you. You want us to punish you. You want us to beat you. We’re not going to do it. We don’t do things like that.
P:
I know it.
K:
And I think if we did this you would then tell us the whole story.
P:
Can I put in that statement that I possibly could have done anything because I didn’t have control of my senses?
K:
Oh, there’s no doubt in my mind there. But …
P:
Well, that’s what I mean because I don’t remember details of what I did. That’s what is messing me up. If I did I’d say ’em.
K:
Mm. I wonder if you would. As I say, there are things there, but I don’t want to put words in your mouth. Everything you’ve said to me so far you’ve told me. Now, you said something to me when we were together about kicking her. What do you recall about that?
A Death in Canaan Page 16