But that was against the rules.
Rules. There were so many. More than she could remember. Enough that she would be punished every day for forgetting them.
And wasn’t that the point? Aiden and Dane seemed to enjoy her suffering. Or did they just want her complete obedience? They said they were torturing her like this for her own good.
She rolled her head to both sides to work out the kinks in her neck.
She moaned again, loud, in frustration. No one could hear her anyway and the audible release was gratifying. A series of low hums slipped out while she used the sounds to distract herself. The room filled with the sounds of someone in the thralls of an orgasm. Only she wasn’t getting that elusive relief she needed so badly.
She shifted her ass one inch in both directions and groaned. She panted through the resulting movement of the dildo and the butterfly. “Oh God.”
Tears filled her eyes. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.
But no one would see her. It was okay to let go.
Tears fell down her face. They were coming from a mixture of bombarding senses. Frustration over her predicament was on the top of the list. The need to come would not leave her. She was desperate for release. Nothing in her life had ever made her feel this desperate. She was on the edge of a cliff, hanging over the side. The bottom of the ravine was so far down she couldn’t see its depths. And the tether holding her dangling over the precipice was slipping. She wasn’t sure she could hang on to the thinning strings.
She cried, her chest heaving. It wasn’t just the need low in her belly that made her tears fall. It was more… Something deeper.
She slipped into her mind and flashes of her life raced by her like a film reel. She had a lot of pent-up memories that needed release.
She cried for the little girl she had been, the one who shaped her into the warped woman she was now. The child who grew up in a broken home with no father and a mother who accepted a revolving door of men into her life.
Her mother had changed jobs and men so many times Stephanie couldn’t count them. Her childhood had been a roller coaster, the ups outnumbered greatly by the downs. When her mother had a good job and was without a man they did fairly well. They ate better food and lived in less squalor.
But when her mother was under the influence of a penis-bearing individual, the woman changed personalities. She seemed to fall into a trance, a hypnosis under the spell of man after man who used her and tossed her aside.
Stephanie cried tears of sorrow for her mother who had died without ever finding happiness. On that fateful day, as Stephanie had stood beside her mother’s coffin three years ago, she’d vowed to never let herself succumb to the wiles of anyone of the male species. Men had killed her mother with their empty promises and broken commitments.
Although Stephanie had dated sparingly in her teens and early twenties, she hadn’t ever let anyone really know her. She had always kept them at arm’s length until finally they left. Had it been a self-fulfilling prophecy? They were bound to leave anyway, so why not chase them off?
But something on that cold day in April three years ago had popped inside Stephanie’s head. She’d vowed right then and there to never allow a man to get between her and her goals. She didn’t need men. And she’d worked her ass off to ensure she never required anyone of the male species for anything. She would be the best she could be at her job, climb the professional ladder and take care of herself.
She had hoarded her money as a “just in case”. And she had worked for six months to acquire the promotion she intended to get on Monday morning. It meant the world to her. Financial freedom. A sense of accomplishment. Security. Proof that she could survive on her own. Three years she’d busted her ass toward this goal.
So what the hell had happened to her this week? She’d let her dreams slip to the back burner and broken her personal vows to herself. Not just for a man, but two men.
Her world had shifted on its axis at some point in the past five days and now she was unrecognizable.
Not only had her control slipped through her fingers, but she’d willingly given her control to others. I’m crazy.
And she continued to do so now. She wasn’t restrained in any way she couldn’t escape. Masking tape was the only thing between her and freedom. All she had to do was jerk her hands free, and in moments she could have the spreader bar removed, the thong ripped off, the dildo released and the butterfly off her exposed, achy clit.
Last night they’d tortured her with that damn vibrator and made her realize she was indeed natural at submission. God how she’d wanted to please them. This morning she’d doubted herself. It hadn’t seemed possible that a grown woman would give herself over to two men as their submissive. She’d vowed this morning that her total commitment couldn’t hinge on one evening. It could have been a fluke. Maybe she’d simply caved under the intense pressure.
But here she was again. Orgasm denial was a powerful weapon. She’d carried a yearning in the pit of her stomach all day, craving whatever Aiden and Dane would dish out. Maybe she was deeply submissive. Perhaps last night hadn’t been a coincidence of some deep mind space she’d entered.
Deep breaths. Think. Ignore the growing ball of need threatening to explode.
You want this so bad. This ceding of control. After twenty-five years of climbing to a place where she was totally self-sufficient, strong, steady—her head held high and her feet firmly planted—she was exhausted.
If she kept on this warpath, she’d die at a young age. She wanted someone else to take charge. And it scared the fuck out of her.
She could give up all control to Aiden and Dane. But would Stephanie cease to exist?
Dane had said it took great strength to be a submissive. That didn’t make any sense. It was contradictory.
She twisted her face into her arm, biting her lip. Hold still. Don’t move. It’s easier to endure that way.
No matter how deep she delved into her psyche, she couldn’t escape the throbbing inside her. It was persistent and all-encompassing. Her pussy squeezed around the massive intrusion filling her, stretching her insides, making her aware of every single nerve ending. She decided to concentrate for a moment on just that. Maybe ignoring it wasn’t the answer.
Deep cleansing breaths. The tears were gone, the salty trails drying on her face, leaving behind tight cracking tracks. A reminder of her demise. A souvenir she couldn’t rid herself of because she didn’t have any way to wipe the paths of desperation from her temples.
Let go. Let go. Let go. The running commentary on her predicament pounded in her head as though someone else were yelling the words at her.
Let go. Let go. Let go.
She didn’t know what the words meant. Was she supposed to let go of the headboard and release herself from her bonds? Or was she supposed to let go of her resistance and cede control over herself to Aiden and Dane?
Her own voice in her head wanted her to choose a path. The moment seemed pivotal. Every event in her life led to this specific point in time. Crunch time. Decision time. She would forever be altered by this one decision to “let go”.
The person she would be tomorrow would be decided by her decision right now to either release the headboard or let go of her control and give it to Aiden and Dane.
She’d fought hard last night to overcome the intensity of that vibrator and then she’d doubted herself after it was done. Now a decision had to be made. She couldn’t keep torturing herself about this.
Think. Ignore the pressure. Think.
She visualized herself walking away right now. Even if she stayed the weekend and got what she’d originally thought was the most important thing in the world from Aiden and Dane, a date to the company party, she wouldn’t be the same woman come Monday morning. The promotion wouldn’t be worth it if she gave up these men.
She shivered. The picture in her mind was of a woman back in her matronly clothing, working her tail off in and out of the office for the rest of her lif
e, empty of feeling. No one would ever be able to make her feel like Aiden and Dane did. She’d be a shell. Vacant. Self-sufficient, but alone. No one would ever measure up to Aiden and Dane. Perhaps it was no longer necessary to hang on to the pledge to make it in this world on her own.
If she turned herself over to Aiden and Dane what would that path entail? Her stomach quivered. That was what it would entail. She smiled. She would feel. For the first time in her life she would feel all the time. Sometimes the feeling would be difficult, hard to endure, like now. But other times it would be delicious. Even the way she felt right this moment was better than not feeling at all.
And that was the crux. She couldn’t give this up. She craved it deep in her soul. This need to let Aiden and Dane take over her every action and force her to “feel”. She couldn’t do it on her own. She needed them. She wanted them. She would do anything in the world to please them if they would never ever stop making her feel like this.
Oh, she wanted to come. No doubt about that. As bad as she wanted her next breath. But just staying on the edge like this was heaven. A challenging sort of heaven she was up to the task to experience.
God, how she longed to make this her life. She’d lived more in five days than in twenty-five years. The men adored her. She knew it deep in her gut. They would never hurt her. They weren’t like her mother’s suitors.
And she was not her mother.
She was herself. Stephanie Parkins. A strong, independent woman who had made it on her own. She could have both worlds. She could get that promotion and keep the men if she would just agree to be their submissive. But full-time? Day in and day out? Maybe that part was negotiable.
Warmth spread through her limbs and torso, chasing the goose bumps away. It seemed clearer now. She needed this. She would have to stay. She ached to please them. The looks on their faces when she was “good” made her melt inside.
Did this make her weak? She wasn’t totally sold on the idea that she could be strong and turn herself over to someone else at the same time, but she could ponder that more later.
Let go.
Stephanie concentrated on her pussy. The dildo pressed her so wide. She’d never imagined anything that large fitting inside her. And since she hadn’t had sex for years, the intrusion was extra tight.
When would they fuck her? Tonight? God, she hoped so.
She reverted back to the moaning. Low, constant sounds that filled the room as she released pent-up energy through her lips. A purring. A humming. A groaning that filled the silence and left her feeling not quite so alone.
The loneliness was getting to her now. She had no idea how long she’d been there.
She could do this. If she could last this long, she could make it the rest of the time. Time was illusive.
She thought about her disobedience. She needed to learn to keep her legs open. She would do it. For Aiden. For Dane. She would make them proud tonight. Even if they changed their minds and decided they couldn’t take her on as a full-time submissive, she would do everything in her power to be exactly the type of sub they needed tonight. If nothing else, it would make their decision to let her go that much harder.
She would die inside if they sent her away.
If she could just be a better sub, they wouldn’t feel the task was so difficult. If they didn’t have to worry all the time about her disobedience, maybe they would find keeping her palatable.
She ran through a list of things she knew she had learned over the last few days.
Legs spread. Always.
Naked ass on any surface you sit on.
Don’t question their decisions.
Act promptly without hesitation.
Keep your eyes lowered.
Always be polite. Yes, Sir.
And then there were the positions. Kneel. Down. Stand. Sit. Present. There would probably be more. She would need to keep track of them. Write them down perhaps and study them.
She needed to do more research. Familiarize herself with the role. She would do that tomorrow.
“Uhnn.” She arched her chest and tipped her head back when something changed. “Oh God.” She held her breath. The dildo came to life. She’d forgotten that possibility.
It was a low vibration, almost imperceptible, but not to someone who was on the edge of release and hanging on by a thread. To Stephanie, it was an earthquake.
She didn’t know how long the buzzing lasted. A minute? Two? Seconds? She gritted her teeth and held her breath through the torture.
Finally it stopped and she sank down, heaving, sweating and cold at the same time. A chill shook her entire body, making the torture much worse.
Hold still.
She fought a losing battle to calm herself. She couldn’t do this. Would it happen again? She concentrated on a spot on the ceiling. Just a speck of anything. It didn’t matter what it was.
Time passed.
The vibrating started again. “Nooo.” She bucked into the sensation once more, lifting her tits high, tipping her head down into her chest and bearing down on the dildo as if she could expel it.
She panted. Waited. Prayed. Please. Let me be the best I can be.
This challenge took on a new light. She wanted to prove to Aiden and Dane that she could do this for them. But she also wanted to prove to herself that she could do this. Because she was strong. Smart. Intelligent.
She had to be smart to lead herself through the need and keep from coming. She had to be strong. The strongest she’d ever been in her life. No weak person could endure this. They would have given up. Maybe that was what Aiden and Dane had been talking about.
She would make them proud. She was the woman they thought she was.
The vibrating stopped. She collapsed into the sheets.
Minutes. Seconds.
A click sounded and she jerked her head to the side to see the door.
Please, God.
Aiden stepped into the room, Dane right behind him.
She smiled.
“Oh, baby. You look wrung out,” Aiden said.
“It was…challenging, Sir.”
“But you did it. We’re so proud of you.” Dane climbed between her legs. “We only have a minute. The restaurant is busy. You did well.” He ripped the Velcro from one thigh and released her leg. Then the other one.
She stretched them out straight and moaned. Her muscles ached.
Dane massaged her thighs from her knees to her sex.
Aiden took the tape off her hands and pulled her arms down to her sides. He rubbed the tightness out of each of them. “Such a good girl. Did you manage to keep from coming?”
“I did, Sir.”
Aiden raised an eyebrow and looked pointedly at her. “Truth?”
“Yes, Sir.” She didn’t break eye contact. She wasn’t lying.
“So proud, babe.” Dane pulled her legs together and grabbed the sides of the pink thong. He inched the sopping wet leather down her legs and pulled it off her feet.
She moaned. Everything moved. She needed to concentrate hard not to come right now after she’d made it this far. The butterfly remained adhered to her exposed clit.
Dane tapped her thighs. “Spread wide, babe. I’m going to remove the training dildo.”
She flushed. They’d seen her so many times like this but it still embarrassed her to be so exposed.
“Good girl.” Dane reached inside her with two fingers, gripped the dildo and eased it out. “So wet. So fucking sexy.” He pinched her inner lips together as though to hold in the moisture.
She bucked her chest again.
Aiden pinched both nipples hard and held them, shocking her. He leaned over her and met her gaze. “Stay still.”
A low moan. It hurt. The pain was sharp and intense. His pinch was firm and unrelenting.
And it aroused her even more. Did he know that? Of course he did.
“Concentrate, baby. Think about your nipples. Dane is going to remove the butterfly. You are not to come,” he demanded.
A pop made her flinch.
Dane spoke. “It’s just lube to loosen the sides and ease the silicone off you. I don’t want to hurt you.” He wiggled a finger around the edges, working the rubber free from her skin.
“Your tits, baby. Think about your tits.” Aiden pinched harder.
“Ohmm.” You can do this. It’s almost over.
Finally both men let go and she was free. They sat back from her, no one touching her.
Please, she pleaded in her mind. Please, someone touch me, fuck me, make me come.
But she knew the choice was not hers to make and asking for release would only make things worse.
Instead, they stood. Dane pulled the comforter up over her shaking body wracked with need. She curled into a ball on her side and lay perfectly still. Panting. Her hair hung over her face and she didn’t care.
Aiden brushed away the strands and kissed her temple. “Sleep. We’ll be back in a while to get ready. Don’t move from this bed. Don’t touch yourself. You don’t have permission to come. That was a punishment. Punishments do not end in reward.”
She didn’t move a muscle as he spoke. She couldn’t anyway. Any movement would set her off and she would explode with orgasm.
Instead, she panted into the pillow under her cheek.
Punishment.
Release.
Words she loathed.
The light went out with a click. Darkness surrounded her. Silence. They’d left without another word or sound. She was exhausted. Her clit was pulsing between her thighs where she squeezed them together. Her pussy still throbbed from the absence of the dildo. She squeezed the Kegel muscles and then released them. Nothing to grab. She felt empty. She’d wished for this moment for what seemed like hours and now she felt empty. Lonely. Wrung out. And so tired…
She relaxed every muscle and closed her eyes. In moments she was asleep.
Dane stepped into the elevator and grasped Aiden’s hand. “I can’t believe we did that.”
“What?”
“Left her there. I wanted to fuck her so bad.”
Bound to be Taken (Emergence) Page 23