by Emma Darcy
Only the single rail to go before the triple which had brought half the field down-two sets of rails and the brick wall, each jump escalating in height and no room for mistakes. Justin could feel his heart thundering as they leapt the single rail and lined up for the triple. Kelly held Rasputin back for a moment, harnessing the surge of power in the huge stallion before letting him go. He fired, taking all three jumps with such graceful brilliance that it brought a spontaneous burst of applause from the crowd.
A clear round.
Justin sagged in relief. When he had time to recollect himself, he wiped the perspiration from his brow and tried to review the performance he had just seen without any emotional prejudice.
The timing on each jump had been perfect. There was no doubting Rasputin's ability, nor the understanding between horse and rider. Certainly Kelly appeared to be in control of her mount. But Justin could not rid himself of the fear that the black stallion's temperament might overpower her at a critical moment.
The second round began.
By the time it came to Kelly's turn, four other riders had completed two clear rounds, so she knew there would be a jump-off to decide the place- getters. And she knew she needed a clear round to be in it. But she wasn't nervous any more. She had shown Justin. Nothing could have been more perfect than Rasputin's first round, and he was rearing to go again.
Their second round was equally faultless.
The course was changed for the jump-off. Several fences were eliminated, and the triple reduced to one set of rails and the brick wall. It wasn't simply a matter of going clear now, it was a race against the clock as well. Kelly had an advantage in being the last competitor. She would know what time she had to beat in order to win.
The first horse knocked the single rail down.
The second horse dragged the top bricks off the wall.
The third blundered on the first hurdle, too anxious to get off to a flying start.
While he wished no harm to any horse or rider, Justin prayed that the next competitor would collect jumping faults also. Then Kelly would only need a clear round on Rasputin, with no necessity to race the clock.
The fourth rider was on a magnificent grey Andalusian horse, and from the start he attacked the course with speed and purposeful control. The horse rattled a rail of the spread fence. Justin held his breath, willing it to fall, but it stayed up. A hoof rapped the top of the wall, but not a brick fell. The time was formidable. Thirty-six point nine seconds!
Justin buried his face in his hands.
He knew Kelly would go for it. He knew that damned black stallion would go for it. And he couldn't watch.
He couldn't. Yet he had to!
Kelly instantly replotted her course, minimising the distance between jumps. Distance was time! She needed controlled pacing more than speed. It was risky, but if she was to win… and Rasputin had the ability to do it.
She stroked his neck. His ears pricked back. This is the test, my beauty,' she crooned softly. 'Let's show him we're the best!'
Rasputin snorted.
They were given the starting signal. Kelly dug her heels in and Rasputin surged into his long, powerful stride. The first two fences blurred by. She wheeled the big stallion quickly and drove him over the spread, turned sharply, then took the single rail at an angle so she could cut across to the 'Liverpool Ditch'. It was a daring move, but Rasputin responded without turning a hair. He motored through the combination and charged down to round the corner for the last set of rails and the wall.
Conscious of the seconds ticking away, Kelly urged him on to the rails too fast. She knew it- could feel him overstretching. The wall was going to be too close for his normal stride. As he landed, she gave a sharp tug on the reins. He couldn't instantly check his momentum, but he knew what she wanted… saw what had to be done. He managed a shorter stride and climbed, surging off his back legs, lifting in a great, hooping leap that carried them both up and over the wall.
A thrill of sheer exultation rippled through Kelly's body. They had done it. She waited for the official time, but she knew they had done it even before the announcement came-thirty-three point two seconds!
She jumped off and hugged Rasputin. He was a true champion. Justin had to recognise it now. Only a champion could have taken the wall as Rasputin had. Justin would have to admit it. And everything would be all right between them.
She looked up to where he had been sitting in the grandstand, but people were moving around and she couldn't see him. Maybe he was making his way down to her, she thought happily. He surely wouldn't leave without saying something to her.
The other riders congratulated her and complimented her on a great ride. The officials called the place-getters into the ring to present the ribbons. Kelly proudly mounted Rasputin again and led the other horses in. The blue ribbon was hung around his neck and Kelly received the winner's cheque. But, as marvellous as winning was, she was filled with impatience for the ceremony to be over so that she could meet up with Justin.
At last they were allowed to move out. Kelly's head swivelled around in search of the man she wanted to see, but he was nowhere in sight.
She wanted to share her triumph with him. She was sure that, given the chance, there were a lot of things they could share if Justin St John could only learn to be more reasonable.
Furthermore, it justified her actions.
And, since he didn't seem to be coming to her, Kelly decided she had to find him, find out what was really on his mind, get the situation between them resolved once and for all.
CHAPTER NINE
As urgent as she felt about looking for Justin St John, Kelly couldn't push through the milling crowd on Rasputin. Nor could she simply dismount and leave the big stallion uncared for, particularly when he had risen to the occasion with such great heart and skill. She rode him back to the float, tethered him on a long lead and gave him a bale of hay to nibble as a reward.
She took off her riding helmet and tossed it into the car, then ran her fingers through her hair, wishing she had time to brush it, but too anxious to delay any longer. She wanted to find Justin before he left. Hoping she was not already too late, she set off towards the exit gate.
'Kelly…'
The timbre of the voice was harsh and strained, but unmistakably Justin St John's. Kelly swung around and saw him striding between two caravans, moving purposefully towards her. Her face lit with pleasure. He had not deserted her. He had come after her.
She laughed and ran to him, flinging her arms around his neck in happiness and relief, I thought you'd gone,' she said breathlessly, her eyes shining up at him. 'But you saw him, didn't you? You saw how good he was, and…'
Justin St John didn't hear a word of what Kelly was saying. Her lovely face was vividly alive. Her body was warm and vibrant against his. His hands moved automatically to press her closer to him, to run over the sweet curves of her body, to savour the touch of flesh and bone that were still wonderfully intact.
Kelly's excited rush of words dried up when she saw he wasn't listening to her. The grey eyes seemed dazed. And she was suddenly very conscious of the way he was moulding her body to his, slowly gathering her closer and closer, his hands roving over her with a sensuous deliberation that set her pulse skittering.
The stretch material of her riding-pants was like a second skin, and Kelly felt that what he was doing was terribly intimate. She shouldn't really allow it, not in public view, although a quick glance assured her that no one around her was interested. And, while it might not be very sensible, she did not want to pull away from him. Nevertheless, her heart started a wild hammering as his hold on her tightened.
'Justin…' she protested weakly.
His eyes sharpened on hers, and her breath caught in her throat as she watched the intense glitter of want and need forge into a ruthless determination that swept aside everything else. His mouth took hers with a voracious passion that allowed for no questioning on her part. He swept her into a maelstrom of
sensation, evoking a wild, mindless response from her, a joyous, greedy release from the tension that had blighted their relationship for so many long hours…days…weeks.
He covered her face with kisses and took her lips again and again, as if he needed to feed on the reality of her, the very breath of her life, the essence of all that she was; and the more he took the more he wanted.
Kelly was totally swamped: her body pulsing to the urgent beat of his need, exulting in it, mindlessly abandoning herself to it, her whole being caught up in the wonder of what was happening.
'I want you,' he breathed when at last he lifted his face away from hers.
Kelly opened her eyes, still dazed but intuitively grasping that Justin was saying something important, something that would change all that had previously happened between them.
His eyes burned with resolution, and when he spoke his voice throbbed with need and purpose. 'I want you to marry me.'
Kelly was so stunned, she could barely believe she had heard him correctly. 'Marry you?'
His mouth curled into a sardonic smile. 'Yes. Marry me. Be my wife. Give me a child. At least then I'll have something to balance the rest.'
'Justin…' Kelly shook her head, still finding his proposal too startling to accept. 'We haven't known each other very long. And most of the time we've been fighting…
His eyes mocked her. 'Do you want to pretend that there's nothing between us?' The pointed reminder of her accusation against him hit home, and to drive it even further home he softly added, 'Something special! If I were making love to you right now, Kelly, I doubt very much that you'd be telling me to stop.'
She flushed. 'That's a dreadful assumption,' she murmured, feeling too uncomfortable about his supposition to admit he was right. After all, she was not in the habit of taking lovers.
His smile was all irony.
Her hands fluttered up in a gesture of helplessness. 'I can't deny I'm very attracted to you. And there has been something…even that first day when… when you touched my cheek as if…' She searched for words to express how he had affected her. 'I had the feeling…that you weren't a stranger. That…’
Her eyes lifted to question his, and it disturbed her to see a shadow of reserve slide over his face, as if he had something to hide from her. Or was she expressing something he didn't feel at all? He said he wanted her. Maybe it was only a physical thing for him.
She shook her head. 'I simply don't know you well enough to say that I love you, Justin. And marriage without love…'
His face hardened. 'All life is a risk! You said that yourself, Kelly. And you're prepared to risk your life on that black stallion. What's so different about risking your life with me?'
'I'm not risking my life on Rasputin,' she protested. 'You saw…'
'I saw that but for the grace of God you would have crashed into the wall,' he cut in fiercely.
'That's not true!'
'Kelly, I'm not interested in arguing. I've made my position clear. Marry me. That's what I want. I believe that's what you want too.' His eyes bored into hers with intense urgency, as if he was willing her to agree with him.
But it was all too sudden for Kelly. A lifelong commitment needed thinking about. 'Does that mean you've changed your mind about me show-jumping?' she asked, wanting so much more than he was offering.
'No.' The negative was sharp. For a moment the grey eyes were washed with the weary bleakness she had seen in them before. He sighed, and his voice softened. 'But I won't try to stop you again.'
A dismal void opened up in her heart. 'We wouldn't share,' she said sadly.
'There are other things to share, Kelly.'
The other things shimmered between them: the physical intimacy of being husband and wife, children, Marian Park with all its gracious living… so much that could be good.
And yet Kelly sensed they would never be truly together. There was a part of Justin he would always hold back. Maybe it was the years between them… too many experiences she didn't know or would never understand because she hadn't lived those years with him. Maybe there was a woman somewhere in his past who would always be dearer to him than she could ever be. There was something… something in the shadows of his eyes that set her away from him, even as he proposed the most serious bond of all.
Did he really want this? Or was it a new ploy to get her to give up show-jumping? But why would he go so far? Kelly shook her head in bewilderment. 'I don't know. It doesn't seem right,' she replied, but without any conviction. She suddenly felt very tired. Drained.
A hard, cynical mask dropped over his face. 'There's no fool like an old fool. At my age, I should have known better.'
He released her so abruptly that Kelly almost fell. He grasped her arm, steadying her until she regained her balance, then let go again.
She looked up into savagely mocking eyes and he spoke with a cold whip-sting of pride. 'I'll give you what you want, anyway. You don't have to marry me for it.' He nodded towards Rasputin. 'Bring him home. I won't fight you any more. You can continue on precisely as you did…' his mouth curled in bitter irony '…in Henry Lloyd's time.'
Then he spun on his heel and stalked away.
Kelly desperately wanted to call him back. She bit her lips to deny the temptation as she watched him go. There was more to love than wanting. More to marriage than wanting.
She felt no triumph that he had given in to her over Rasputin. Not even satisfaction. Her heart ached with a mass of tearing uncertainties.
She wasn't sure if she hadn't hurt him badly- much more than just male pride-in not accepting his proposal. On the other hand, perhaps he had simply decided he wanted a wife. The years were passing… he wasn't getting any younger, and if he wanted children… But there had been an intensity in his manner that suggested his feelings ran more deeply than that.
Certainly he found her desirable, but as for the rest… Kelly wasn't sure how much he cared about her feelings. Of course, he would be well aware of the advantages he could offer any woman who married him. Maybe he thought wealth and position were inducements enough. But that didn't even begin to touch on the love Kelly had always envisaged for herself.
And yet, there was something about Justin St John that was very special. She hoped she hadn't hurt him. Kelly had the awful feeling that she might never meet anyone else who had such a powerful attraction for her. And to whom she had such a powerful attraction in return.
But marriage was such a serious step. She couldn't enter into it lightly. She felt there should have been much more in preliminary interaction between herself and Justin St John before he proposed marriage.
She walked despondently back to Rasputin and began unplaiting his mane. 'I wish I understood him as well as I understand you,' she told the black stallion.
The horse nodded sympathetically.
'At least you and I can stay together,' she said, but somehow it was hollow consolation. In an effort to regain some positive thinking, she added, 'Grandpa will be pleased. We've won everything back the way it was in Henry Lloyd's time.'
Except that wasn't completely true, and never could be true again. Henry Lloyd was dead. And she hadn't met Justin St John in Henry Lloyd's time.
CHAPTER TEN
Despite the afternoon's victory, Kelly's trip home was no more light-hearted than the morning's drive to Dapto.
Normally she would have been out of her mind with delight at having won a Grand Prix event, but somehow it didn't seem important any more. Although of course she was happy that there would be no more problem with Rasputin.
She stopped by the judge's place to deliver the good news. Only Arlene was at home, and Kelly found it difficult to respond to the kindly woman's avid questioning, particularly when she had to explain that Justin St John no longer objected to her riding Rasputin.
'So I'll take him home to Marian Park now, and return the judge's horse-float in the morning, if that's all right,' Kelly said. She hoped that her impatience to get on her way didn't show.
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'No need for you to return it, Kelly. Ezra wants you to take the float to your grandfather's place. He told me to tell you he wanted it there tonight. He said you weren't to go home without it. So that'll work out fine. He'll bring it back.'
Kelly wondered what the judge was doing with her grandfather. It wasn't chess night. But, rather than prolong the conversation, she shrugged the question aside and took her leave.
Even before she reached Marian Park, Kelly could not help but notice that very unusual activity was going on.
A helicopter was flying over the pastures with a strong searchlight beaming over the ground it covered. She wondered if someone was lost. It seemed highly unlikely, yet two police cars passed her and Kelly found that occurrence even more mystifying.
She was stopped at the entrance to the pine forest by a man who flashed a federal badge. 'Your business here, ma'am?'
'I'm returning a horse to the stables,' Kelly replied, then quickly asked, 'What's going on?' 'Were you here earlier this afternoon?' 'No, I've been at Dapto all day. Show-jumping.
What's wrong?' 'Not to worry, ma'am. Nothing to do with you.
Go ahead.'
The whole place was swarming with people. Even camouflaged SAS men with sub-machine guns! Kelly was left in no doubt that a search was going on. But for whom? Or what? Even when her presence was questioned again at the stables, no one would satisfy her curiosity. They actually checked her identity by walkie-talkie with someone at the house. And she noticed several army vehicles, as well as cars which were marked 'Federal Police'.
Whatever was happening was certainly out of the local league. But to be of national concern? Kelly's imagination boggled at the thought of spies or drugs or terrorists. Not at Marian Park! The mere idea was absurd. It could not be.
With Rasputin safely put away in his old stall for the night, Kelly hurried home, hoping that her grandfather could tell her something. Or Judge Moffat. His vehicle was parked near the veranda steps, and Kelly positioned her car so that the horse- float could be easily transferred to his.