Pauly’s face puckered up like he just ate something sour and shook his head. “He’s in there, but be warned, someone might have gotten to him…”
“What the Hell are you talking about?” I demanded as Pauly moved aside to let me in. Once again their room was crowded with guys and girls looking like sluts. I slithered my through, trying to spot Damon’s blond hair when I saw him in the middle of the room with a girl wearing nothing but a tight corset on her knees groping him through his jeans. Worst was there was another girl behind him, kissing every spot on his body, and he seemed to be loving it. He didn’t even notice I was standing right there, completely disgusted by what I was watching in front of me. It was just reassurance that I was too young for this shit I guess. For thinking that Damon Charming was actually interested in me.
Now I felt he was nothing but a fake. The amazing date in Chicago? Fake. Taking me onto his tour bus nearly having sex with me? Also fake.
I saw Lucy in the corner talking to a few people and she regarded me sympathetically. She had warned me. Everyone had warned me. I was too stupid to listen to the people that were looking out for me. As I hurried out the door, Lucy grabbed my arm, smiling faintly.
“I’m sorry, Bryn.” She frowned. “I thought Damon would’ve changed. He talked about you like you were the one.”
I shrugged, fighting off tears as I felt people watching me break down. Let them see. I vowed to myself tonight that I would take it out on my guitar and pound those strings out of the piece of wood as if I would never play again.
Putting one foot in front of the other, I formed a fake smile, shoving past people in the hallway. Most of them roadies I knew asked me if I was okay. The door was open and I could hear Cale shouting the words to some Bullet for My Valentine song blasting through the small speakers in our dressing room. Everyone saw me stroll back in, lifting their cups up shouting “Heyyyy!”
“You’re finally back,” Gina slurred, draping her arm around my shoulders. “So where’s that man you were telling us about?”
I poured myself a drink straight out of the Rum bottle and took a couple of long sips. “Doesn’t matter. He’s off getting sucked or some shit like that…I don’t even care anymore.”
“Ohhh goody two shoes has a potty mouth!” Raptor laughed hugging me from behind, sending me into the air.
“Rap, put me down!” I shrieked, worrying about my drink spilling all over. Lucky for me not one drop spilled. He set me down gently and I started giggling. “I can swear when I want to.”
“You sound hot doing it, sis, just saying. Who are we talking about anyways?”
I didn’t even want to say the name, so Gina finished my thought. “Mr. Charming. Bryn said someone was jerking him off right in front of everyone…”
I slapped Gina on the shoulder. “I did not!”
“Damn…I always knew there was something fishy about him,” Raptor said in frustration. “I’m sorry you had to see that Bryn. Their pre-show parties can get kind of wild…”
“I’m fine really. Can we just not talk about it anymore?” I snapped, before thinking better of it. “Sorry. Maybe I’m just tired I guess.”
“I can’t wait to see you up there,” Bethany chimed in, kissing me on the cheek. She smelled completely of alcohol and they hadn’t even been there that long. “My best friend the rock star. So jealous.”
That was the booze talking.
“Your friends are pretty fun, B.” Cale shouted from behind me, slinking a warm arm around my waist. His touch sent electricity through my spine, making me jump. “They seem so unlike you.”
I looked up at him and smirked. Here he was thinking I was little Miss Boring once again, the girl who lives by the rules. “Unlike me, huh? Are you going to kick me out because I don’t know how to have fun or something?”
He laughed, and I could feel his body rumble from the laughter. “I would never do such a thing. But you do get in those moods where you seem so uptight, ya know?” I removed myself from his grasp, completely taken aback by what he just said. I’d been trying to loosen up and have more fun yeah, but was I still the boring old Bryn I used to be?
I leaned up to his mouth and kissed him square on the lips. Not giving him time to react, I took a couple steps back and said “Is that boring to you?”
He had a look on his face as if he was thinking about it and pinned me against the wall without a second thought. What was I thinking doing that? Impulse. Like how I was feeling now. I wanted Cale to kiss me right at that very moment, in front of everyone in this room and not think anything of it.
His breathing slowed down a little bit, his eyes meeting mine.
“Are you challenging me again, Bryn Schaefler?”
A challenge? It was what we were good at by now. Hell, we were pro’s.
“What’s the challenge this time, Pelton…?”
“Me trying not to fuck you right here against this wall.”
Chapter 12: Addicted
Teasing. One of those days he would pin me against the wall and I’d give in. Strip every ounce of clothing I had off my body and just give myself to him. Call it being over Damon within just a matter of minutes, call it whatever, but that secret part of me that had always had feelings for Cale was showing through and I didn’t care who knew it.
We agreed on singing “You’re Going Down” that night, and also finally bringing out “Time,” one of the first songs I practiced with them. That night was a whole different level of playing. Maybe it was because, like I promised, my two best friends were in the very front row dodging the crowd surfers that bumped their heads as the security guards grabbed them. Between Gina and Bethany, their screams out-shot anyone in that theatre which made me laugh in the middle of my vocals. Cale sang with more passion and fire than I had ever seen before. I could finally say it: He looked fucking hot and I wanted him to be my first. I don’t know why I waited so long to finally admit it. I was so absorbed by Damon and I had genuine feelings for him not only as a friend, but more.
“I just wanted to say thank you L.A. you have been an amazing audience tonight and I want to give a special shout out to my best friends Gina and Bethany. I love you girls and hope you enjoyed us,” I announced to sweaty crowd, all of their eyes on me. “We’ve got one last song and up next is Ignite the Flames!” Uproar surrounded me. It was like the news everyone was waiting to hear. I thought people liked Everlasting, but these Ignite the Flames fans were hardcore people. But that was what I lived for now: these screams, the sweat, the blood, singing into a microphone in front of thousands. What was I going to do with myself after tour? Oh yeah, record the album.
We played our last song and left the stage, throwing our leftover picks and Raptor’s drumsticks to the people.
“So, Bryn,” Raptor said as he stopped me as I was grabbing a bottle of water. “You should give me Gina’s number.”
I halted dead in my tracks and gave him an uncertain look. “Gina? You like her?” I didn’t mean it in a bad way, but Raptor didn’t seem like a one woman guy.
“Hell yeah I do. She’s totally chill and doesn’t seem like a model at all. I like that about her.” Raptor said, pointing back towards the audience. “Plus on a scale of one to ten she’s like a 1,000 by far, as cheesy as that sounds.”
Squeezing his shoulder, I completely understood what he meant. “I’ll put in a good word for ya, Rap, how’s that?”
“Oh you’re the best, Bryn. I don’t care what Cale says about you,” Raptor laughed, joining up with the rest of the guys as they took off in the other direction. As I turned around, I bumped square into Damon and his bare tattooed chest. Shit.
“Hey, I heard what you saw earlier…” Damon started to say, but I slapped him in the jaw and was shooting daggers. Déjà vu of Ethan all over again. Laughing, drunk off his ass, thinking humiliating me was funny.
I shook the thought away. “Just for future reference. I’ll tolerate being in a room with you if I have to but otherwise leave me well enou
gh alone. I was just a play toy to you...”
“Bryn, no you weren’t. I really liked you. I just do stupid things when I drink.”
I spat at his feet and walked away. “Obviously, you ass. And good luck tonight.” I didn’t look back to see his reaction, but I heard him throw one of their guitars into the wall in frustration. Ahhh, sweet victory.
“Holy rocker chic Bryn Michelle,” Bethany squealed, both her and Gina running up to me after I took a quick bathroom break before changing into more relaxing clothes. “You looked hot as shit up there, seriously. If I were a guy I’d want to bang you.”
She immediately lifted my spirits up. I missed these girls too much. I smiled widely and laughed. “Thanks, I guess. You didn’t want to see Ignite the Flames?”
They both shook their heads. “Not after what that jerk of a lead singer did to you. I’m afraid I would punch him in the balls,” Gina replied, running over to Raptor after he appeared from the bathroom. He cranked the music to Pierce the Veil and we all drank for the next hour talking about nonsense I don’t even remember now. Cale avoided me once again, but he made small talk with my friends, periodically throwing his arms around them. We would steal glances at each other, but nothing more.
I said my goodbyes to the girls a couple hours later, promising them we would go to lunch the next day before we headed to San Francisco in the afternoon. Relieved to get back on the bus, I said goodnight to the guys, climbed into my bunk and fell asleep. Lately I had been having dreams about the last time I saw Ethan. His face was haunting me, but instead of not knowing what happened, he said everything was “my fault” and I was a chicken shit for not going all the way with him. The hungry look on his face as if he was going to hurt me scared the living crap out of me, jolting me awake.
“Are you okay?” Cale asked quietly, standing next to the bunk as I sat up straight as a stick. “It sounded like you were having a nightmare or something.”
“Just a bad dream,” I grumbled, running a hand through my snarled hair. I reminded myself to take a shower ASAP in the morning. “Go back to sleep, Cale, I’m alright.”
Cale ignored me and climbed in beside me, holding my body to his. “Ethan again?”
He had known about my previous nightmares because he claimed I was shouting things in my sleep. “Yeah,” I whispered, hands gripping the blanket in front of my belly for comfort. “Three nights now.”
Cale sighed, joining his hands in mine, playing with my fingers ever so slightly. “Damn, I’m sorry babe. Do you want me to get down or stay with you?” I already knew the answer. Feeling his warm body against my cold was comfort to me, and maybe it was what I needed to sleep tonight.
I turned my face to his and mouthed “yes.” I scooted closer to him, my butt flat against his erection, and laid my head on the pillow. He moved his hands from mine to my waist, just below my belly button. It was safe to say I slept the rest of the night, although my mind wandered to the fact that this was the very first time I had ever slept next to somebody all night.
“Sweet dreams,” Cale spoke softly into my hair as he drifted off to sleep.
California was amazing, but after being here for a few days playing shows in San Francisco, San Diego and Oakland, I was ready to move away from the heat, and fast. That’s what I secretly missed about Michigan. You never knew what temperature it was going to be and unlike half the population, I loved the erratic weather changes.
It was our last show at The Majestic Theatre in Detroit. For the past week and a half while we made the journey back to Michigan, Cale had made it a nightly ritual to climb into my bed after I was sleeping. He would stroke my hair and rub my arms, always scooting me towards him until there was no air between us. We never did anything other than sleep. We would kiss on occasion when no one was looking, and when they were, he would just kiss me on the cheek and play it off like there wasn’t something building between us.
We were watching the other band before us backstage when Damon stood beside me. Tapping me on the shoulder I turned around and he looked at me with sadness in his eyes. “Can I talk to you for a sec?”
Cale was on my other side, gripping my waist with a death grip. “You can say whatever it is in front of me too, Damon.”
Damon looked over from me to him, and back. “I just wanted to apologize for what you saw and how I’ve treated you, Bryn. I really hope since this is the last night on the tour, we can start off fresh and be friends?”
I had no problem with that. He was a twenty something year old guy who liked to party and watch half naked women straddle him. I couldn’t get too heartbroken about it.
Squeezing his hand, I shouted back “Sounds good to me.” Drawing my voice to a dull so Cale couldn’t hear me, I whispered in Damon’s ear. “It was fun while it lasted.” He smirked, and Cale looked over with a questionable expression.
“Glad to be almost done, bud?” Cale asked.
Damon put his hands in his back pockets and laughed. “Like you wouldn’t believe. Maybe shave my hair before we finish recording the album. But congrats on being on the major label by the way,” he said to us. “We’ll have to get together and maybe collaborate on a song or something. As if we haven’t seen enough of each other.” Damon chuckled.
Cale joined him, shaking his hand, “Sounds great dude. You have my number. Get a hold of me anytime.”
“Sounds good. Good luck tonight,” Damon replied, patting us both on the back and walking away. Seconds after, I had a text from him on my cell phone.
Damon: Never seen him that protective since Luce. Must be love, haha
I blushed. But also, I had never really known the details about their relationship and how serious they really were when they were together. Not that it was my business because it really wasn’t, but Lucy had grown to become a close friend of mine and I was going to miss seeing her along with a lot of the people I had met on this tour. Before I ever considered actually having a relationship with Cale, I wanted him to come clean about his past just like I had told him about mine.
“You ready?” Cale startled me, handing me my guitar as we got ready for our big entrance. “Relax, B. Last show is about having fun. Let loose and go crazy tonight.” I wasn’t sure if he really meant the set we were about to play or afterwards.
“I’m good.” I smiled, and we all group hugged before running out to our screaming fans.
I followed Cale’s advice. Since this was our home state, I wanted to give the crowd an entertaining show. I grinded against Vince as we played our dual lines and had fun with all of the songs. It was when we slowed things down for “Time” that I saw him. Ethan Donahue in the front row. Looking straight at me.
“Alright everyone, we’re going to slow it down for one song,” Cale growled into the microphone, scanning the crowd as mostly the girls cheered. “This one Queen B’s going to help me out and sing the words. Right, Bryn?” His head tilted in my direction and smirked as some people started to cheer my name. That gave me the chills, but in a good way. People were chanting my name? Completely unreal.
“That’s right, hope you guys enjoy. This is ‘Time,’” I said with excitement, my eyes doing a double take over the row not even twenty feet from me. Yup, that was him alright. I took the front of the stage as Cale stood behind a keyboard and began to play the opening notes to the song.
You said we needed space
That your heart doesn’t feel the same anymore
That’s a lie
I can see it in your face
Hiding the truth in a cage
Cale joined me as we sang in perfect harmony to the haunting melody. As the rest of the band joined in after the chorus, I saw hundreds of cell phones and lighters out swaying in time with the drums as we hit our infamous group harmonies people had come to recognize us for.
Applause erupted as the song ended. Cale kissed me on my cheek, whispering “Good job babe,” and took back his rock star persona, riling the crowd up once more. I slipped back on my electric
guitar and let my fingers do their job as Everlasting played the last song in the set. I tried to forget Ethan was right there. Forget he was here for a reason. But those words "I'll be in the front row”, rang in my head the whole song.
After the set and thanking everyone for coming, I took one last look and Ethan wasn’t anywhere to be seen. Maybe I was dreaming, but I seriously doubted that.
“Best set ever boys!” Luke bellowed as he gestured for all of us to come together. When I crinkled my eyebrows at him, he corrected himself. “And girl. Sorry Bryn.”
“It’s all good, Luke.” I couldn’t hide the smile from my face. I’d be seeing these guys a lot more often now that we had an album to put out and promoting. That meant more time with Cale.
We separated and I passed Lucy on the way back to the dressing room.
“Hey what’s the matter, Luce?” I asked her. She clearly looked upset, even though Ignite was just getting ready to on stage.
She shook her head. “Must be a stomach bug or something. But there’s someone who wants to see you back there. Might want to hurry and see. I’ll try to distract the guys.” I mouthed “Okay” and walked at a faster pace. The door to our room was wide open and as I stood in the doorway, I couldn’t believe who was in front of me, pouring a drink.
“Long time no see, love.”
“Ethan.”
He snickered, flashing his perfect white toothed million dollar smile. It had won me over one too many times. In the months since I’d seen him he grew his hair out, curling around his ears. Looks came easy for Ethan, as did women. He wore a plain white t-shirt and jeans that were at least a few hundred dollars. But they hugged him right. Dammit.
I tried to avoid looking at him for as long as I could, but knew I would have to face him at some point. “How’d you know I was here and how’d you get past security or the bouncers?” I asked, curious.
“Come inside first.” Ethan gestured towards the door, which I still hadn’t fully crossed the threshold of. Once I took a step inside, he walked behind me and shut the door. “That’s better. Your friend said she’d distract the rest of them, so I have a couple of minutes.”
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