Still the One

by Jill Shalvis

  He needed to see Darcy.

  She’d come so far this past year, worked so damn hard. She’d fought her way back physically and mentally. She’d given everything she had to the jobs she’d taken on even though they weren’t jobs of passion for her. She gave everything to the dogs she rescued, too, just as she gave everything to the few people she let into her life.

  Even him.

  She’d been there for him in Boise even when she hadn’t wanted to be. He’d watched her work her way through the trust exercises with a surprising and touching honesty. Yes, she was still wild, untamable, unpredictable Darcy.

  But she was no longer reckless.

  Whether she knew it or not, she’d put herself out there, letting some roots take hold. She’d shown more courage in her little pinkie than most people had in their entire body.

  He pulled up to the aging Victorian that she shared with Zoe and knocked on the door.

  Zoe answered and sighed. “I heard about Xander.”

  For a beat AJ thought she meant the physical altercation they’d just had, but then he realized she was referring to Xander and Darcy’s fight. “I was there,” he told her. “Where is she?”

  “Not here. She didn’t tell me where she was going but I’ve been stalking her dot on my Find My Friends app. She’s at the hot springs. I was just about to send Wyatt after her.”

  “I’ll go.”

  Zoe looked at him for a long beat as if skeptical of AJ’s intentions. “She’s hurting.”

  “I know.”

  “I want to kick Xander’s ass,” she said.

  “She wouldn’t want you to.”

  Zoe blew out a breath. “He walked away from her—the very worst possible thing he could’ve done to her.” She shook her head. “Promise me you won’t do that.”

  “Never,” he vowed.

  This had her blinking. Then she narrowed her eyes. “Then why aren’t you two together?”

  It had all started out so clear to him exactly why they weren’t together, but somewhere along the way he’d forgotten. “It’s complicated.”

  She rolled her eyes in a damn good imitation of Darcy herself. “You know what?” she asked. “I think you’re afraid, even though you’re the bravest person I know.”

  The bravest person she knew was almost rendered speechless. “It has nothing to do with being brave,” he said. “It’s about what’s best for Darcy.”

  She looked baffled at this. “AJ, what could be better for her than you?”

  AJ headed to the hot springs, a place Darcy sometimes went to in order to be alone.

  But she’d had a lifetime of feeling alone, and he wasn’t going to let her feel that way again.

  He’d been out here at the hot springs with her before, as a part of her early therapy had involved swimming. They’d done that in a cove on the north side of the springs, protected by trees and rock caves.

  Sure enough, her car was there. He parked his truck next to it and walked the quarter of a mile path to the springs.

  Steam rose from the water into the night, making it look like another planet. Darcy was sitting on a rock staring up at the moon.

  AJ could feel her loneliness from where he stood, and it killed him.

  He’d told himself he wasn’t interested in love but he’d been talking out his own ass. When it came to Darcy he was interested in everything, and he’d take whatever scraps she’d give him.

  “Hey,” he said quietly, not wanting to startle her. He had no idea if she’d reveal her emotions to him or not. Retreat or lash out, he never knew with her.

  She let her hood fall back from her face, her expression revealing nothing.

  Retreat then.

  “What happened to your jaw?” she asked, voice quiet. “You’ve got a bruise.”

  “Nothing,” he said. “It’s nothing.”

  Her eyes showed concern for him but at his words, she turned back to the water. “You were right about something,” she said quietly, radiating sadness.

  “What’s that?”

  “I’m good at pushing people away.”

  He hated that he’d ever said such a thing to her. Hated even more that she believed it. “Darcy—”

  “No.” She stood, climbed off the rock, and stepped to the water’s edge, all without looking at him. “I’m not in the mood to talk. I’m going for a moonlight swim.”

  “The air’s too cold.”

  “The water will keep me warm.” She kicked off her battered sneakers.

  “Darcy—”

  She stepped into the springs and the water swirled around her ankles. “Mmm, perfect.” She stepped out a little bit farther, hands on her hips, in a big old coat that, if AJ wasn’t mistaken, was a hand-me-down from Wyatt.

  “Xander was out of line,” he said. “You don’t hurt everyone you love.”

  “Don’t I? Seems like something I’m really good at.” She slid out of the coat and tossed it at his feet. Beneath she was in jeans and a sweatshirt. She stripped off both, leaving her in a Rolling Stones tank that had been washed so many times it was sheer, and a pair of pale blue panties so teeny tiny they barely covered her.

  Hottest thing he’d ever seen.

  Ever.

  While he went from zero to sixty in the blink of an eye, he tried to speak normally even though he was suffering severe blood loss to the brain. “This is a bad idea.”

  “Yes.” She tugged an elastic hair band from around her wrist and, reaching up, quickly and easily contained her hair in a knot on top of her head. “I’m often one big, bad idea.”

  “No, you’re not.”

  “I’m glad you feel that way.” And then she pulled off her top. She’d slid her thumbs into the sides of her undies to tug them down when he strode forward and wrapped his hands around her wrist. “Darcy—”

  “If you don’t want this,” she said, “if you don’t want me, I will hurt you.”

  He took one of her hands and pressed it against his erection. “Does that feel like I don’t want you?”

  Humming her approval low in her throat, she let her fingers do the talking, stroking the length of him until the denim nearly cut off his circulation. “How long have you been in this condition?” she asked.

  “Around you, I’m always in this condition.”

  Slowly she shook her head. Denial, because she didn’t believe, which was his own fault. He’d fought so that she wouldn’t see it. Not his smartest move.

  “We going skinny-dipping, Darcy?”

  “I’m not sure there’s a ‘we.’”

  He wasn’t sure, either, but he knew he wanted there to be. “Try me.”

  She glanced at him, let her gaze run over him. “You’re wearing too many clothes to go skinny-dipping.”

  He yanked his sweatshirt over his head and tossed it to the shore. Then he kicked off his shoes and socks and shoved down his jeans, leaving him in knit boxers that did nothing at all to hide how much he wanted her.

  She stared into his eyes for a long beat and then took a good long look at him in clear appreciation. She smiled, but instead of stepping close, she took a big step back into the water.

  And then another.

  And then she turned and dove in.

  Holy shit. He moved to the edge and stared at where she’d disappeared. One. Two … “Goddamnit,” he said, and dove in after her.

  He caught her around the middle and hauled them both above the surface. It was deep enough here that he had to work to keep afloat. To keep them both afloat because she was completely wrapped around him, not helping at all. “You’re as crazy as I am,” she said, sounding as if she liked that, a lot.

  “You’ve discovered my secret,” he managed. “And Jesus, the air’s fucking cold.”

  “You did tell me to ice. I’ll use the air.”

  “Yeah, I told you to ice. I didn’t need to ice.”

  Her hands slid down his chest and lower, cupping him in her hands. “Aw,” she murmured. “Is he going to shrink now?�
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  “Not with your hands on him.”

  She gave him a stroke just the way he liked it. “You have my full attention,” he said.

  “I have this fantasy.”

  “Okay, now you really have my full attention.”

  “I fantasize about doing it in the rain,” she said, her hands still on him, making it all but impossible to think.

  “But this, in the springs,” she said, “would be almost as good.”

  He was starting to get a little breathless, both holding on to her and having to kick to keep them both above water, and then there were her very busy, very naughty hands shoving down his underwear.

  “Enjoying yourself?” he asked.

  Her eyes were still solemn, still radiating her sadness, but she flashed him a small smile that stopped his heart. “Very much,” she said, her hands full of him.

  Very full.

  “Paybacks are a bitch,” he managed.

  “Promises, promises.” She gave him a nudge and then another, back toward shore. When the water hit his calves, she fought out of his hold and pushed him again. He went down to his ass and she dropped to her knees.

  And then she slid between his legs.

  The moonlight made her naked form glow like some ethereal being. He could see her image in the water behind her and it was beyond carnal. “Darcy—”

  “Shh,” she whispered, her hair teasing his abs and thighs as she bent low and slowly dragged hot, openmouthed kisses over chilled skin. Then she ran her tongue up the underside of his length.

  He swore, and then again when she sucked him into her mouth.

  Barely coherent, things got a little hazy, and in an embarrassingly short amount of time he tightened his grip on her hair to pull her away from him before he exploded. “You’ve got to stop—”

  She didn’t. Instead she fought his hold and had her merry way with him.

  “Darcy”—Christ, her mouth—“if you keep that up I’m going to— Oh fuck. I’m going to come.”

  She kept at it and his world spiraled out of control. Somewhere in the midst of the sheer, heart-stopping pleasure, one thing became crystal clear to him. Whatever the hell this was, whatever they managed to give to each other—she owned him.

  When he firmly blinked his way back to consciousness, he was flat on his back, half in the water and half out, staring up at the stars and the moon. He had no idea if he was hot or cold or dead or alive.

  And then a lovely face suddenly hovered above his, with hair rioting around her face.

  “You alive?” she asked.

  “I don’t know. I can’t feel my extremities.” He sat up. “But I can feel the rock jabbing me in the ass, so yeah, I must be alive.”

  She was sitting at his hip wearing nothing but her soaked panties and looking pretty damn smug. “Stand up,” he said.

  She got to her feet.

  Reaching up, he hooked his fingers in the wet cotton and slowly pulled them down, settling on his knees in front of her. He let the material pool at her ankles and slid his hands up the backs of her thighs. “Spread your legs,” he said.

  She kicked off her panties and did as he asked.

  And he just about died and went to heaven. “Damn,” he managed, “you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

  She shifted as if uncomfortable with the praise. “I don’t need fancy words, AJ.”

  “How about the truth, then? You are beautiful. And something else—you’re not alone. You don’t ever have to be alone. Because I’m …” Leaning in, he pressed his mouth against a hipbone. “… right …” And then her other hipbone. “… here.” He trailed wet, openmouthed kisses across the top of her thighs, stopping to pay special attention in between them. “I came here for you, Darcy. I’ll always come for you.”

  She slid her fingers into his hair and whimpered.

  “Say you know it.” He cupped her ass and squeezed her cheeks in his palms, tracing his tongue over her hot, wet center. When she didn’t speak, he pulled back.

  “You came for me,” she gasped.

  “Yes. And now you’re going to come for me.”

  And not three minutes later his prophetic words became fact as she shuddered in orgasm, panting his name, lost to everything but him.

  His chest tightened with satisfaction and so much more he almost couldn’t breathe with it as he pulled her down to straddle him, gripping her hips as he pushed upward, seating himself deep inside her, so deep.

  She cried out and bent over him, giving him her mouth, her body, and—he hoped—her heart and soul.

  Because she certainly was the keeper of his.

  Twenty-six

  Darcy opened her eyes at the sound of rain beating on her windows— Wait. Not her windows. She was in AJ’s bed, alone. She stretched and peered at the clock on his nightstand.

  Seven thirty.

  Yesterday came back to her in a wave. The fight with Xander and him walking out of her life, which made her heart hurt, physically hurt. She’d tried calling him before she’d gone to the hot springs but he hadn’t answered her call. Or her texts. Or her e-mails.

  Problem was, she was having a hard time picturing her world without him in it.

  Dammit, Xander.

  But last night AJ had come for her, needing to see if she was okay. He’d made her okay just by being there. Sure, the skinny-dipping had helped, and then … yeah. The and then had been pretty fantastic, too.

  But all she’d needed was him, and that … that was the crazy part. Everything about him put her entirely out of her comfort zone.

  And yet she couldn’t imagine going back to how things had been BB—before Boise.

  He’d brought her here afterward. He’d again tried to talk to her about Xander but she’d declined. She didn’t know how to talk about Xander.

  But then she and AJ had climbed into his big bed and had instead used their time wisely, and she’d fallen asleep on him and slept the night through.

  Something that was becoming a habit with him.

  There was yet another note pinned to the pillow.

  HAD TO GO IN EARLY. TRENT AND SUMMER ARE SHO WING UP TODAY TO MAKE THE DEAL HAPPEN. SEE YOU AT WORK. LOVE, AJ.

  Right, today was the big day. She was scheduled to work at the Wellness Center at nine and— Her heart skidded to a stop.