“Stop it. You had to go, Kyle. If you hadn’t, you’d have wondered the rest of your life what you had missed. You’d have never been happy. Always wondering what you let slip through your hands.”
He stood there, absorbing her wisdom, absorbing her. “I love you, Anna. I need to know if we can make this work. I don’t want to walk away from you this time.” A well of emotion, so many regrets, rose in him as she sat very still, her hands in her lap, so beautiful, so alone in so many ways. She’d lost her parents last year. And now her foreman. She had no one. Nothing. And what could he offer her? More heartache and pain.
She had to be weighing everything. Was her love of him strong enough to transcend their obstacles? Never had he wanted her more. But the price was steep for Anna, and Kyle wasn’t sure about the future.
“I will take whatever you can give me,” Anna whispered brokenly, opening her hands. “Something is better than nothing with you, Kyle. I’ll take whatever you can give me… Your time… I know you’re always training, always away, but those few times when you could come home…?” Her voice grew hoarse. “Spend them here, with me.”
“Don’t say that,” he growled. Kyle walked over and drew her up and into his arms. He held her so damned tightly he felt the air whoosh out of her lungs. She sobbed. Once. Anna buried her head against his chest, clinging to him so tightly, not an inch of space existed between them.
Kyle kissed her hair, kissed her cheek and pulled back just enough to absorb her softened face, the joy in her eyes that he lived to see once again. His heart soared with the knowledge Anna would take him back into her life. Of all people, he didn’t deserve this second chance. But, God, he was grateful her generous heart and soul would allow him to return to her. He inhaled the lingering touch of oranges in her hair, the fragrant skin along the curve of her neck.
“I love you, Anna…. I need you…always,” Kyle said thickly, kissing her cheek, her closed lids, her brow. “I’m going to make this work between us. I promise, you aren’t going to be handed seconds anymore. You’re going to come first in my life, like you should have all along.” His voice cracked. Kyle crushed her against him, tears squeezing from beneath his tightly shut eyes as he held the willowy woman who had a far braver heart than he’d ever had.
* * *
ANNA AWOKE SLOWLY, as if some beautiful gossamer dream that she’d had all her life had just come true. She was naked, in Kyle’s arms, his soft snore near her head, his arm protectively wrapped around her, keeping her close. Drowsily, she opened her eyes, realizing daylight was creeping around the edges of the gold drapes. She didn’t want to move.
Her body was sore, but she smiled softly, luxuriating in the knowledge that they’d made love at least three times last night, unable to get their fill of each other. Kyle was a tender, considerate lover. She had felt cherished. Worshipped. There wasn’t an inch of her skin that he hadn’t kissed and explored.
Her eyes grew cloudy as she breathed in and out with his shallow breaths, their bodies locked against one another. Even in sleep, she could feel Kyle’s erection beginning to grow, pressing against her soft belly.
She understood he would be gone soon, and not sure of when he would return. And yet Kyle had repeatedly told her last night that he’d work things out. He wasn’t going to leave her again. The dark hair of his chest tickled her nose and cheek. Savoring the male scent of him, she dragged it into her lungs, always wanting to remember this night with him. He’d loved her until she nearly fainted from the intense, powerful orgasms he’d given her. He knew her body so well. Equally important, Kyle had held her as if she were a priceless gift that could shatter. Never had she felt more loved than last night.
Something told her she was pregnant. It would be her secret. Anna knew enough about SEALs to never let Kyle know about it, since the news could distract him and get him killed. She just couldn’t go there. At least, not yet. And she worried about carrying a baby to full term, anyway. Would it be different this time? She didn’t know. And then, gently, Anna felt her heart swell with such intense love for Kyle. She knew what pregnancy felt like and had known instantly when Tom had gotten her with child.
Anna allowed all of Kyle’s whispered, growling words to fill her and give her the courage for when he left. He kept repeating that he wouldn’t leave her like before. But how could Kyle make that happen? SEALs lived to fight. That was what they trained for. That was what they did for a living and wanted no other way.
Kyle awoke. She sensed it and slowly moved her head to his shoulder, looking up into his sleep-ridden gray eyes. They burned with love for her, and Anna absorbed it like a greedy miser. Their days were numbered. And so were their nights. Each moment was priceless. Never to happen again. Anna desperately wanted time to slow to a crawl so she could savor each second with this man who held her heart in his scarred hands.
“I want to wake up like this every morning,” he told her thickly, lifting his hand, trailing strands of hair away from her cheek, smiling down into her half-opened eyes.
Her lips curved. “Me, too.” Anna sighed, leaning upward, pressing her breasts against his chest, curving her mouth against his.
His hand ranged possessively down across her hips, capturing her hotly against him, letting her know he was hard once more and wanting her. A low sound of anticipation vibrated in her throat as he moved his hips suggestively against hers. And as Kyle urged her thigh up and across his hip, his fingers lingered teasingly at her damp entrance, making her want to thrust herself against his hand, wanting more of that pleasure she knew he could deliver.
It was effortless to love Kyle. He made it easy on her as he melded his mouth to hers. In moments, he had turned onto his back and repositioned Anna across his hips, her wet core against the hard warmth of his erection. He lay there watching her, his hands curved around her upper arms. She smiled and leaned down and into his kiss, the scalding heat going from simmer to boil deep within her body.
Anna lifted away, her eyes crinkling. “Didn’t you get enough of me last night?”
Kyle remained serious as he brushed his hands down her rib cage and across her waist and then captured her hips. “You make me hungry, angel. Only you…” He moved his hips upward, connecting solidly with her, making her moan.
Anna lost herself in the haze of his erection sliding against her swollen core, her hands splayed across his chest as she slid hotly along his length. Kyle helped stimulate the hot, sparking sensations while cupping her breasts.
“I want you,” he growled. “I want to hear you cry out like you did last night….”
His gritty words cascaded through her, and Anna tipped her head back. The heat flowed powerfully through her. The years had matured Kyle as a man. He’d been a wonderful lover when she was twenty-two. But now, seven years later, he knew how to make her body sing like a finely tuned instrument.
Kyle’s cell phone rang on the bed stand.
He cursed softly, giving her a look of apology.
She eased off him. “It’s all right,” she whispered, knowing that even on emergency medical leave, the SEALs owned him.
Kyle got out of bed, pulled his jeans on, zipped them up and grabbed his iPhone. Giving her another look of regret, he opened the bedroom door, answering the call.
Anna lay back, her body aching for him. She pulled up the covers, closing her eyes, hearing his deep voice echo down the hall. Unable to catch anything that was being said, she sighed and moved to her side, burrowing into the goose down pillow. She felt ripe, like a luscious fruit that would soon be picked by Kyle. She’d seen the silent promise in his gray eyes as he’d turned toward her in that lost moment before he disappeared out the door. He would be back. And they would finish what they’d started.
* * *
ANNA MUST HAVE dozed off because she roused when the door to the bedroom quietly opened. Kyle placed the cell phone on the bed stand and quic
kly divested himself of his jeans. Slipping into bed, he pulled her against the front of his body and rained soft kisses from her temple, to her cheek and to her neck that scattered pleasant shocks of heat as he nipped her.
“I’m sorry,” he rasped, pulling away. “But I’ve got some things going on and I have to be available, Anna.” Trailing his finger across her full lower lip, he drowned in her drowsy eyes.
“It’s all right,” she murmured as his hand caressed her breast, his thumb trailing lazily over her taut nipple, drawing a gasp from her.
He shook his head. “There’s probably going to be a few more calls,” he warned her, leaning over and placing a trail of light kisses across her collarbones.
Kyle felt her arch, loving that soft sound in her throat. As he trailed his kisses down across her breast, nuzzling the nipple with his unshaven jaw, she cried out his name. A savage protectiveness washed through him when she twisted and whimpered in his arms. He placed his lips over that tight, awaiting peak.
The love he’d suppressed all those years came roaring back through Kyle, blinding him with its beauty, with its strength and resilience. As he slid his hand down between her thighs, feeling her wetness and readiness for him, he didn’t want this morning to end.
* * *
IT WAS SNOWING like a picture postcard on Christmas morning. Kyle had made slow, delicious love to Anna earlier and then they’d taken a hot shower together. And he’d loved her again, unable to get his fill of her, of her lush, giving body that made him ache to always have mornings just like this one.
They had dressed and he’d made her favorite morning meal: pancakes, Vermont maple syrup and sugar-cured ham. He’d noticed she would look at the Christmas tree from time to time from the table, studying it with fondness as she sipped her coffee.
“There’s something different about the tree this morning,” she said finally. “Did you rearrange some of the decorations, Kyle?”
He gave a shrug, pushing his emptied plate aside. “You don’t miss much, do you?” A partial grin tipped his mouth. Anna’s hair was still drying, the ends slightly curling, the light above bringing out the copper and crimson highlights among the darker strands. She had worn a soft green chenille sweater almost the color of her eyes, a set of green corduroy pants and those silly old red slippers. She’d had them since he’d bought them for her when she was seventeen. He’d purchased them for Anna as a joke because she had loved her floppy-eared Easter bunny ones until she’d worn them out years earlier.
But his Christmas present joke had turned into something special because when he saw the liquid warmth in her shining eyes as she pulled out the Frosty the Snowman slippers—with the big, wobbling white head, coal-black eyes, a carrot mouth and coal for his smiling mouth—she had cried.
Kyle remembered sitting with her and their parents around the tree as everyone eagerly opened up gifts. He had reached out, his thumb catching the escaping tear and smoothing it off her flushed cheek. Anna was so in love with things that didn’t mean much to Kyle. But because they meant something to her, they were important to him. And she was still wearing those slippers to this day.
“I haven’t gotten you anything for Christmas, Kyle.” She gave him a worried look and reached out, running her fingers up and down his hard-muscled forearm. “I’m sorry….”
He gave her a lazy-lidded look, capturing her hand. “You are my gift, angel.” He kissed her hand, watching her eyes go smoky as he nipped the center of her palm. In Kyle’s experience, a woman’s body was an erotic map, but Anna brought new meaning to this idea. She was so sensitive. Exquisitely so. And easy to please. “I never need anything else, Anna. Just you. Okay?”
She pouted a bit, more than willing to allow him to tease her palm, the delicious tingles making her nipples harden beneath her bulky green sweater. “I don’t feel so bad. There are no gifts under the tree from you, either.” She caught a gleam in his expression. “What? Is there something there for me? I don’t see anything.”
“Let’s go check it out,” Kyle urged, pushing the chair back and relinquishing her hand. “You have to get closer to see it….”
Stymied, Anna allowed him to guide her to the tree. The windows were frosted over, the snow thick and blowing outside the home. She smiled as they passed the window where the electric candle burned. Kyle eased his hand into hers, pulling her to the left.
Anna had placed the thick holiday quilt around the tree, all bright reds, greens and golds, to celebrate the season. Kyle asked her to kneel down on it and then came behind her, his thick, long thighs bracketing her hips.
“Now,” he breathed, pulling her hair aside, tasting her nape, “take a good look at the tree.”
Giving a moan of pleasure, Anna dodged his wicked mouth and sensual nips that stirred her body to instant, bright life. “If you keep this up, I’m not going to be able to concentrate.”
Kyle rearranged her thick hair across her shoulders. He settled his hands lightly on her hips. “All right,” he murmured next to her ear, “find your gift, Anna….”
CHAPTER FIVE
ANNA EYED KYLE warily as she gazed up at the tree. “Is this a trick? You’re well-known for them.” His mouth curved faintly, his eyes a light gray that told her he was happy.
“Not this time. No, this is the real deal, angel. You saw something out of place earlier when you were eating breakfast. Can you find it now?”
“It’s not a trick? Because I didn’t get you anything and I’ll feel awful about it if you’ve gotten me a present, Kyle.”
“Anna,” he rasped, kissing her cheek, “you’ve had a grade-three concussion. The doctor hasn’t allowed you to drive anywhere to buy me anything.” His voice lightened with amusement. “And I’ve been really busy around the ranch with Jepson and his crew. When did I have time to go into Great Falls and buy you a gift?”
She sighed and leaned back against his hard, supportive body. Resting her head on his shoulder, Anna gazed up at Kyle. He looked like a smug, satisfied cat with a big secret. Or maybe the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland. “You know something I don’t,” she suddenly accused, giving him a stern look as she sat up.
“Anything’s possible,” Kyle agreed, his grin increasing. He gestured toward the tree. “Figure it out? You’re good with puzzles, Anna.”
Snorting softly, she quirked her lips as she gazed from the top of the tree downward. “I have just about every decoration memorized, Kyle. You know that.” She rubbed her palms on her slacks, her gaze skipping here and there across the upper branches of the Scotch pine.
“I know you do,” he said, moving his hands gently up and down her upper arms.
“Well,” she began, “there’s nothing out of place on the top or the middle of the tree.” And then she turned, giving him a dirty look. “Oh, don’t you dare tell me you stole another decoration to take back with you. That the tattered angel is too old and beat-up. You’ve traded it in for another one I made. That’s it, isn’t it?” Her brows scrunched as she stared darkly into his innocent-looking face. Kyle could wear what he called his game face. And when he did, she couldn’t tell what he was thinking or feeling. His gray eyes grew amused.
“I added something to the tree, Anna. I didn’t take anything else away from it. And yes, I still have the tattered angel in my billfold.” He patted his back pocket.
“You added a decoration?” Surprised, she turned, giving it a quick glance and then looked back at Kyle. “Because you felt guilty about stealing my little angel and so you replaced it with another one? I never saw you draw another one and hang it. Do you know how long I hunted for it and never found it?”
“I should have told you I took that angel,” Kyle admitted quietly, grazing her cheek and dropping a quick kiss on her mouth. “But that was the day I left after you told me you wouldn’t marry me.”
“Oh…” All
the fire went out of her and she sagged against Kyle’s body, feeling his arms come around her waist, holding her gently. Anna could feel the slow, heavy beat of his heart against her back. “I didn’t know.”
“I didn’t want you to know.” Kyle nudged her earlobe, teasing it, feeling her react and seeing goose bumps form nearby. “I thought about it a year later,” he confessed, “but by then, I didn’t have the courage to admit I’d taken it without your knowledge. I was afraid, Anna, if I told you that you’d ask for it back.” He held her glistening eyes. “I couldn’t risk it. I needed a part of you with me. I wasn’t sure you’d understand at that time.”
“Oh, Kyle,” she murmured, slipping her hands over his arms, “I would have. You must know that.”
“I was hurting pretty badly about our breakup,” he admitted, looking at the tree. “I’d just lost my best friend in a firefight and I felt so damned alone.” Kyle gazed down at her. “But I had you with me, Anna. And you’ll never know how much that tattered angel of yours got me through some pretty brutal periods in my life.”
“So much heartache and loss between us,” she whispered unsteadily, wiping her eyes.
“That’s going to end,” Kyle promised her, holding her unsure gaze. “Do you see the decoration I added yet?”
Turning, she began to mentally count the rows of decorations. Finally, she came to the lowest branches at the bottom of the pine. The most recent were always hung here. Her breath caught.
“Kyle…” Anna extended her hand toward the new decoration he’d made. It was two wedding rings overlaying one another. She gently took the decoration into her palm. Frowning, she felt something behind it. “What?” she murmured, leaning forward, carefully removing the nearly hand-size decoration off the bough. And then she gave a small cry, her eyes widening with shock.
“Remember those rings?” Kyle asked her, his voice low.
“Oh, my God, Kyle.” It was the set of wedding rings he had given her when she was twenty-two. Hesitantly, Anna touched them. Kyle had tied them both to a small red ribbon and hidden them behind the decoration. Her heart twisted in her chest and she pulled out of his arms, gripping the decoration in her hand, turning around to face him.
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