Resolution (Saviour)

by Lesley Jones

  “You okay?”

  “I’m good, why?”

  “You’re rubbing your jaw, you do that when you’re stressed or thinking.”

  He looks at me with such a boyish smile that my heart melts. “Do I?”

  “You do. Why are you smiling?”

  “Because I love it that you’ve noticed that I do that, it made my heart speed up when you said it.”

  “I seriously want to shag you when you say things like that.”

  “Lauren, jeez, spoil the moment why don’t ya, I was ready to have a d and m with you and your mind is once again firmly in the gutter. You really are a nympho.”

  He brings my hand to his mouth and kisses my palm.

  “Don’t ever change, I love that you want me so much.”

  “Well make the most of it lover. Coz when dem babies get here I ain’t gonna have time for none a dat shit.” I put on my best ghetto voice. Which I’ve gotta say is pretty good.

  “That’s a terrible accent Lauren. We will make time for sex, no matter what.”

  He parks the car, undoes his seat belt and leans over to kiss me.

  “Babies or not. I cannot keep my hands off of you and nothing will ever change that. You coming in with me?”

  I never say yes, I always wait in the car but not today, now that I know how much Nina despises me, I hate the thought of Gabe being in her company without me. I nod and undo my seatbelt.

  “Thought you might” He says with a smile.

  “What does that mean?”

  “Nothing. Get out.”

  I slide out the car and pull my hoodie off; I removed his oversized one before I even got into the car earlier, pissed off that my act of defiance had been completely ignored by him.

  “No, tell me what you meant. You said that you thought that I would get out of the car. Why did you think that?”

  He laughs as he comes around the car and pulls me to him.

  “Because you are my green eyed little red head who goes off like a fire cracker and I just knew you wouldn’t want me going in and seeing Nina on my own.”

  “Hark at you, making me dress like the Amish today before I was allowed to leave the house.”

  He shrugs his shoulders and kisses me full on the mouth. “Just protecting my assets baby.”

  “Errrrm, think you’ll find they’re my assets Baby.”

  “Actually Baby, I think you will find they are our babies’ breakfast, lunch and dinner.”

  He kisses me again. “I love you.”

  “I love you too. Now let’s go and face your ice queen ex Mrs.”

  We head up the drive and Gabe knocks at the front door and pulls me into his side just as Nina swings the door open and instantly glares at me.

  “You’re early.”

  “Yeah, we err, we have a lot to do, we have people coming over tonight for a bit of a gathering and some tucker.”

  She looks from me to Gabe and then back to me. “You better come in and wait.”

  We walk through a bland hallway to a bland kitchen as Nina calls up the stairs for Ava to hurry up. The only warm thing about this home is the evidence that children live here, a highchair in the corner next to a toy box and finger paintings on the fridge. Gabe has hold of my hand, or do I have hold of his? Either way, we both have sweaty palms.

  “House is quiet. Where are the kids?” Gabe asks, attempting to make polite conversation.

  “Deans taken them to the park for a bit, to give me a break, he’s good like that, hands on, helps at meal times, baths them, and puts them to bed.”

  She simply stands with her hands in the back pockets of her jeans and stares at Gabe, obviously waiting for him to rise to the little dig she has just made about his lack of parenting skills. Gabe’s a great Dad to Ava, given the circumstances, and will be an even better Dad to our babies. There is so much I want to say to her, but I bite my tongue, I will have my moment but not yet, we have agreed to tell no one else about the pregnancy until after we have the CVS test done and the results back, which will be when I’m around twelve or thirteen weeks pregnant. I give Gabe’s hand a squeeze.

  “You’re lucky Nina. Must be really nice to have someone so hands on and helpful as the father of your children.” I smile at her sweetly.

  She looks at me blankly, then tilts her head back, looking me up and down. “Have you put on weight Lauren?”

  Bitch!!!

  “I have yeah, I lost so much while I was in the hospital, Gabe has spent the last few days trying to fatten me up.”

  I look her long skinny frame up and down. “It goes on easy when you’re happy and content, and I’m both of those things right now so expect a few more kilos the next time you see me.”

  I can feel Gabe holding his breath next to me but before there is any fall out, hurricane Ava flies into the room. She flings herself at me.

  “Lauren, hi. Did you show her? Did you show her the ring we chose?”

  Oh shit. I look at Gabe, who’s looking at Nina, his mouth is moving but nothing is coming out.

  “No, not yet Ava.”

  We asked Ava not to tell her Mum about our engagement until we could, which Gabe was going to do Monday when he dropped her back off. Oh well, here goes. I look across to Gabe to give him one more chance before I take over explaining; he catches my stare and seems to find his voice.

  “Our gathering tonight is to celebrate mine and Lauren’s engagement. The reason we were late getting Ava back on Thursday was because she came with us to choose an engagement ring.”

  Ava has taken hold of my hand as she realises she’s put her foot in it, I give it a reassuring squeeze. I hate the way she intimidates my big strong fearless man with her threats to stop him having access to his daughter and I hate even more that right at this moment Ava is well aware of the tension between her parents; I know it’s not really my business but I’m going to suggest that he sees a solicitor in the week and gets something drawn up legally, I actually can’t believe he hasn’t done it before now with the amount of times she has pulled the custody card.

  “You are fucking kidding me right? My daughter is attending your engagement party tonight and you took her with you to buy the ring. You bought HER a ring?”

  “Mum.”

  “Shut up Ava, you lying, deceitful, little girl. Get upstairs to your room, you’re going nowhere with these two.”

  My stomach churns with frustration, there is so much I want to say to this nasty, spiteful shrew; I swallow down my words as Ava squeezes my hand tighter and turns towards her Dad. Please don’t let her down Gabe. Please.

  “Ava, will you and Sophie get your bags and go and wait in the car please”

  I can actually feel the rush of air leave Ava at the same time as I release the breath I was holding.

  “Ava, you fucking dare go out to that car.”

  “Don’t speak to her like that. Go and get in the car Ava now.”

  The girls leave quietly and I watch as Gabe glares at Nina; I take a step towards him and without even taking his eyes from her, he reaches out for my hand, and rightly or wrongly, I feel a little surge of triumph by his actions. He’s shaking and breathing a little too fast, he pulls me slightly behind him and I kiss his shoulder. He takes a deep breath.

  “Nina, I really don’t want to blue with you over this, but you really need to get your head around the fact that Lauren and I are together and we are staying together, next to Ava, she’s the most important thing in my life, as soon as her divorce comes through, we will get married and like Lauren told you at the hospital, Ava will be part of our wedding and will remain part of our lives, she’s not trying to take your place but she will continue building on the relationship they already have. I know you don’t like it but I am over the fucking moon that the two women I love most in the world get on so well, Ava is lucky to have Lauren in her life, you should be grateful that Lauren loves Ava the way that she does and I really don’t see what your issue is. You and me have been over for a long, long tim
e and in all honesty, there never really was a you and me, we didn’t know each other or really have a relationship back then and apart from the fact that we share a daughter, that’s pretty much the way it is now. You’re married to Dean now Nina, you have two children together and I have never, ever interfered in your relationship with him so why you are behaving like this and being like this towards Lauren is beyond me, but I will tell you this now, so listen good. Ava is and will remain part of my life, if you make any more threats to stop me seeing her, I will go to court for full access and I will go back on our original arrangement and take this house back, I don’t want to make threats like that but I am fucking over you and your attitude. Are we clear?”

  Nina looks from me to him and then, strangely down at my engagement ring.

  “You bought her a ring” It’s a statement, not a question.

  “Yes, I bought her a ring.”

  Her? I do have a name… and helloooo, I’m standing right here. I bite my lip and manage not to say the words out loud.

  “You never bought me a ring.”

  “We were never engaged, we got married because you threatened to take my child away from me, I didn’t love you Nina, I’ve never loved you, I cared for you and looked after you because you were carrying my child, I’ve let you live, rent free in my house so that you can continue caring for my child and live a comfortable lifestyle, I pay Ava’s school fees and give you more than enough money to buy her what she needs each month, but all you have ever done is talk to me like shit and threaten to stop me seeing her and it stops, here and now it stops, otherwise I will take this to court, are we clear?

  I have never heard Gabe speak so harshly, except about my husband, his whole demeanour is so unlike the Gabe that I know and love, he’s coming across as cold, callous even and I feel a little bit sorry for her now as I watch her shoulders slump in defeat. Then she raises her chin and I just know she hasn’t quite give up yet.

  “Yeah, we’re clear Gabe. Just don’t blame me when Ava is left in tears when the wedding doesn’t happen, coz mark my words, you will fuck things up before then, you always do, you won’t be happy with just one woman, especially not a short, chubby, old one. You won’t be able to keep it in your pants. You haven’t changed, there’s nothing that will make you change.”

  Oh you cheeky cow, I lick my lips as my brain races to think of a comeback, I move slightly towards her but Gabe gives my hand a little squeeze. He tilts his head back and then stretches it from side to side, the way a fighter would before going into battle. Go get that bitch tiger!

  “See that little statement just goes to show how little you know me Nina. I’ve fucked about all these years because I had no reason not to. Women have thrown themselves at me since I was fifteen and I’ve let them, I like sex, what can I say? But that’s all it’s ever been, sex, mindless, no strings attached fucking, and then I met this woman here.”

  His eyes roam all over my face and I want to lick him, right through the middle of that cleft in his chin, I want to grab his bottom lip between my teeth and suck his tongue into mine, but I also want to hear him give it to the ice queen; I would, also, like to knock her right out. But I know, being in the pregnant state that I am, it would piss Gabe right off, so going totally against my nature, I stay still and I somehow manage to stay quiet too. For now!

  He raises up our joint hands and kisses me on the back of mine. “I have changed. I met Lauren and everything changed, I finally got it, that thing that everyone has told me for years would happen for me one day, it happened. I found out for the first time in my life what it was like to be in love, I finally realised how much more pleasure there is in making love than there was in fucking. I love her beyond reason and everything that you may think you knew or know about me Nina, has changed and I will be spending the rest of my life trying not to fuck this up, because I love her, and dya know what? I actually don’t give a rat’s arse what you think, of me, of her, or our relationship; your thoughts are of no consequence. Unless they affect me and mine, so you best spend the weekend getting your head around all of that and decide how you want things to go from here on in because I am not putting up with your bullshit any more. And just for the record – short, soft and curvy is so much more my thing than tall, hard and bony. Enjoy your weekend.”

  Oh. My. God. I love him so much; he so told her, I’m so happy, I want to skip, and why has watching that little speech made me so horny. Pregnancy hormones? I think just the sound of him breathing makes me horny at the moment.

  He grips my hand hard and we leave the tall, bony ice queen in her bland, beige house and head towards the car; he stops at the end of the drive and pulls me to him.

  “You okay?”

  I wrap my arms around his neck and bite the bottom of his chin. “I’m fine. How you travelling?”

  “I’m good; thank you for staying quiet and not taking the bait in there, I swear she was trying to wind you up, she knows what a temper you have, I wouldn’t put it past her to have been deliberately trying to provoke you into slapping her so she could call the police. You did well baby, I’m proud of ya.”

  I shrug, surely she’s not that calculating, but then she did manipulate Gabe into marrying her, shit, the only thing that stopped me giving her a smack up the side of the head is the fact that I’m pregnant. It suddenly strikes me how I can stand up to Nina with no hesitation and yet I put up with Jason’s shit without a word for so long. He’s done that to me, my Mr Wilde, my future husband and father of the babies that I carry in my belly; by loving me, unconditionally, he has given me back the confidence to stand up to anyone, the way I used to, before I became Mrs East.

  “Well you have Bruce and Sheila to thank then, because if I didn’t have them tucked up inside me, I would have knocked her fucking block off. Cheeky bitch, I might be chubby and old but I will still put her on her bony arse.”

  “And she’s back, and who the fuck are Bruce and Sheila?”

  “The twins. You reckon we have a boy and a girl in there, so…”

  “So you still think we should call them Bruce and Sheila?”

  “Yeah.”

  I shrug. He smiles, that smile that makes his eyes sparkle, the one I hope is only for me and bends his knees so that we are at eye level.

  “Do you have any idea how much I love you?”

  “Well yeah, because I love you the same babe.”

  “Not possible.”

  He kisses me long and deep and I kiss him back, deeper, I wrap my arms around his neck and press myself into him, I feel him laugh into my mouth.

  “Lauren…”

  Before he has chance to say anymore I here Ava calling out.

  “Inappropriate behaviour in public. Please can you stop with the PDA? It’s so not cool at your age.”

  We both start to laugh and turn to see Ava standing with her arms folded, leaning against the car. Eyebrows raised. Foot tapping.

  “Busted.”

  “Anyone would think she was the parent. Let’s go home and get ready for our party wife to be.”

  By the time we arrive back home it’s after four, we have people arriving from seven onwards so I bark out orders to everyone and give them jobs; the girls help me marinade the meat and Gabe goes down to the pool house and turns on the patio heaters and fills the fire pit with logs and coals. It’s only about seventeen degrees right now and will get much cooler as it gets dark but it’s not raining or windy and we have told our guests to wrap up warm.

  As is the way in Australia, everyone will bring a plate so I won’t have to worry about salads or side dishes or desserts. Gabe goes out to pick up ice and grog, while myself and the girls get ourselves partyfied; it’s not a dressy affair, our friends have no idea about the engagement and think they are just coming over for a barbie, but I know my girlfriends, they are like me in that casual still means dressy but made to look casual; I stand in my wardrobe contemplating what I can wear that will fit and not make me look fat!

  Ava wand
ers in and I can’t help but notice how tall she has got, at just fourteen she is already a good four inches taller than me and looks all legs in her skinny jeans and Uggs, her hands are dug deep into the pocket across the front of her Hurley hoodie, her long fair hair is plaited and hanging over one shoulder and she’s wearing makeup, just a little foundation, blusher and mascara. Harmless enough and she is fourteen but I don’t know how Gabe will react. He is struggling with Ava’s journey into womanhood and it doesn’t help that she is as strong willed as she is. I actually love that about her and don’t want her to lose that quality but then I’m just far enough removed to remain objective, whereas Gabe can barely see straight when I mention Ava and boys in the same sentence. I study her beautiful face that’s so much like her Dads and she looks troubled.

  “What’s up chicken?”

  “I’m sorry about earlier with Mum and Dad I mean, I didn’t mean to cause any trouble.”

  I go to her and wrap my arms around her, she’s still skin and bone after the accident, we really do need to work on fattening her up but I don’t want to knock her confidence by saying anything.

  “Not a bother, they sorted it out… and let’s face it, whenever we told her, she was always gonna kick off, she just doesn’t like me.”

  “It’s not that she doesn’t like you Lauren. It’s because she still loves him, my Dad. She’s still in love with him, her and Dean argue about it all the time.”

  Shit! I swallow hard. “Well, how does that make you feel? I mean, did you always hope they would get back together?”

  I lead her out of the wardrobe and we go and sit down on the bed. “When I was a little girl, I used to like, pray and wish that we could all be together and that my Mum would stop shouting at my Dad and stop crying in her bed at night. Then she met Dean and she was so happy, so then I just worried about my Dad. I wanted him to have someone to love, to make him happy but then as I got older, I realised that even though my Mum had Dean and my brothers, she still wasn’t really happy and whenever her and Dean argue, it’s always about Dad so then I like figured, perhaps her and my Dad should be together, if they can’t love anyone else, then perhaps it’s because they still love each other and if they just like gave it another go then they would realise. Then Dad met you and…” She shrugs and starts to twiddle with end of her plait and I feel a flutter of nervousness in my stomach at what she’s going to say next.