by Lauren Wood
“Oh.”
He was suspicious and I didn’t blame him. It didn’t mean that I was going to do anything that would help him figure it all out. Instead of trying to answer, I pulled the key out so that the door would be opened sooner. When I saw Cameron coming down the stairs, I realized that I had the same bad luck that I had always had.
He looked from Cameron and then to me, blurting out the first thing that came to his mind. “So you are the one that I have heard so much about?”
I looked to Cameron to see her expression and I could see that she didn’t like the comment. I didn’t either, but there was nothing that I could do about it. Carlos was a man that would say what he wanted and didn’t care what I said about it. He was going to blab it out anyways. Why had I told him about her?
“Cameron, right?”
Chapter 10
Cameron
Meeting Carlos in the hallway with Joel, I started to realize how far out of my league he was. Joel was just as rough and tumbled looking as his cousin was, but there was something different seeing them both together. I had thought that Joel was a big puppy dog, but now I wasn’t so sure. Now I was sure that he was just like the man that stood next to him, asking questions that I didn’t think were important.
When I finally got outside, I knew that I wasn’t over Joel. He had told Carlos about me and I had to wonder what it was that he had said. Carlos knew who I was, so there was really no telling.
I walked the few blocks to work and tried my best to pretend that I hadn’t just seen the man that still made my knees weak. It was hard to do, but I managed somehow. Now I was left to think about all of the what-ifs. Ever since Joel came to my apartment and let himself in, I had been avoiding him. It wasn’t really about him barging in and his lack of proper personal space. It was about how he made me feel when he was around and the simple fact that I was afraid of what I would do when I was too close to him. That was what kept me up at night worried.
Work was just like it always was, though the gossiping had finally stopped. I tried to keep my cool, but seeing Stephen kind of ruined it for me. He was still bruised up and if I wasn’t feeling so bad about the whole thing, I would have been thankful for it just for the fact that he left me alone now. There was no dark look in his blue eyes like before. Joel had gotten his way and whether Stephen had wanted me all along or not, he certainly didn’t now.
Angela came into the office and knocked on the wood frame. “You got a minute?”
I told her that I did. Wondering what it was that the senior manager wanted, I didn’t want to think about what I figured it was about. Had the management found out about Stephen being attacked while with me?
“Sure Angela. What can I do for you?”
She had this look on her face and I started to get nervous when she shut the door behind her. This can’t be good.
“I want to talk to you about what happened last week with Stephen Bishop.
Even though I knew that was what it would be about, I was still a little thrown off. What was I supposed to say?
“Um, okay.”
Angela smiled at me, but it wasn’t one that went all the way up to her eyes. She was not happy to be talking about it and neither was I. What was I supposed to tell her about it? I still wasn’t sure why Joel had acted the way he had and I didn’t want to have to make excuses for him, not when I didn’t have anything to do with it.
“Stephen says that your boyfriend attacked him while you were in your apartment building. Is that true?”
I shook my head that it wasn’t true. Stephen was still black and blue from Joel, but it wasn’t my fault and I wasn’t with Joel.
“No, that isn’t right. That is not what happened at all.”
Angela was not prepared for my denial. It was hard to deny that he was attacked, so I was sure then that she’d thought I was going to admit to it. Which I would admit to the attack, but I wasn’t going to admit to my culpability in it.
“Okay, so what is not right because I have a written complaint that states just what I just said to be true?”
“A written complaint?”
“Yes, you two were still on the clock, so it has been picked up by me to handle.”
I wanted to slouch lower in my seat and disappear. I couldn’t believe that he had reported me to the higher ups. What was he trying to do, get me fired and take my job? He couldn’t have done it, but I wouldn’t have put it past him. He was that kind of guy and that was why I had never really liked him to begin with. I just got a bad vibe from him.
“While we may have been on the clock, it was Stephen that insisted on getting something to eat. I needed to change my shoes, so we walked over to my apartment building down on Hastings.”
She was writing what I said down, “So you did go to your apartment building with Stephen?”
I nodded that it was right and then I told her what happened between him and Joel.
“You stated that he was not attacked by your boyfriend, but from what you just told me, he was.”
“Joel is not my boyfriend. He is just a friend and he happens to be the manager of the apartment building. He is the owner’s nephew, not my boyfriend.”
Angela sighed and sat back in her seat. “So you are saying that Stephen was the one that pushed the altercation?”
I nodded that he was. I tried to get the two of them to stop, but it was Stephen that had come back down the stairs. I don’t know what he was thinking, but I was sure it had to do with some sense of male ego or something like that.
“Yes and while I do know Joel, there really was no need for the provocation. I tried to stop it, but they are two grown men that I don’t want to get in the middle of.”
She told me that she understood, though I could tell that she was still reserved about her judgement. There was something else beyond just some paperwork and I should have known it would be more. He hadn’t thought the fight was enough to press criminal charges, but seeing an opportunity, Stephen was going to try and get paid one way or another. He was going after the company and I was going to be in the middle of it whether I liked it or not.
“You can’t be serious. How could he sue the company? We weren’t even on the grounds.”
Angela pressed her lips together and mentioned the fact that he was salary. “He was working overtime and was still on our dime, so now he is suing. Our lawyers have told me that he actually has a case and we are going to most likely have to settle with him.”
My head was spinning and of all the things and unpleasantness that I thought I was going to deal with, I was not prepared to deal with this. I couldn’t believe it at the same time that I could. Why would I have thought that he would be any different?
“I will testify or do whatever I have to do to help you.”
“I know you would Cameron. You have been with us a long time and we value you as an employee.”
“But…?” I could hear the breath before everything that she said was going to be wiped away by something bad. I didn’t want to know what the bad part was. It seemed to me that it was bad enough without having to add anymore.
“He wants you fired. Stephen is not willing to even talk about a settlement until you are let go.”
My heart sank further in my chest and now I couldn’t breathe. Was I really getting fired?
“You are going to let me go?”
She nodded her head and wouldn’t look me in the eyes. There was an envelope that I hadn’t really noticed before, but I did now. It was already arranged and that made me mad. “Why did you even ask me what happened, if it wouldn’t have mattered anyways?”
“I don’t want to do this, but I have to. You understand, don’t you?”
I didn’t understand, but I didn’t want to make a scene. While I couldn’t get my job back, I could at least leave with a little dignity. I didn’t want to give Stephen the satisfaction of getting me fired. It was the last thing that I wanted to do as I batted away a bit of moisture that I refused to let fa
ll. Standing up, I reached for the envelope.
“There is a rather substantial severance package in there for you and I will make sure that you have the best references. There are a couple of businesses around that are looking. I could put a good word in for you.”
It was a conciliatory offer and I wasn’t feeling that eager to assuage her guilt. “Is there anything else?”
“Yes, there is a batch of missing journals for this quarter that we are looking for. Do you know where they are?”
I told her that I did. “I had them that night when everything happened. I think that they are still on my coffee table. I will have it sent over to you as soon as I find them.”
There was no more that I could say with a straight face and dry eyes. I wanted to scream at her, at Stephen, someone, but I tried my best to hold it all in. This was the way it was and there was nothing that I could do to change that. The sooner I got it through my head, the easier it was going to be. While it didn’t feel like anything close to easy, I knew that it was going to be okay. Worse things had happened.
Leaving the building that I had called work for longer than I cared to think about with a small cardboard box of pictures and pens, I felt a little shattered. There was nothing that I could do to stop what happened and the feeling of helplessness was the worst thing about it all. I hated feeling this way and now that it was over, I didn’t feel any better about it. It just sucked.
The drive home wasn’t long enough and I sat there staring at the building for a while. I thought about going in and just going to bed. It was what I wanted to do, but there was no way that I wanted to run into Joel. Not like this. My face was blotchy and my eyes were red. I hadn’t taken it well and though I had kept it together when I was in there, I didn’t feel like keeping it together anymore. As soon as I had gotten into my car, the tears had started to stream down my face. It was like a flood gate was opened and I wasn’t for the life of me able to stop it.
Now I was just drained and facing him wasn’t something that I could do. He was sorry, had apologized more than ten times, but now it was too much. I had lost my job and gotten a broken heart, all at the same time. That was the problem with bad boys, someone always got hurt.
Calling my friend Carol, I asked her what she was doing after work. I hadn’t seen her in a while and a night out without a care in the world was just what I needed. I wasn’t even going to open the envelope until tomorrow. I didn’t want to sit there and do the math in my head to see how much longer I had till I had to find a job. Tonight I just wanted to drink and dance my problems away.
Chapter 11
Joel
There was a loud racket in the hallway that pulled me from my sleep. I hadn’t gotten to bed till a little while ago and I was exhausted. It seemed like everything in the building was breaking and I was the one that everyone called. It was my job of course, but at the moment I was wishing that I hadn’t even came to Louisiana. It was all a mess and there was no way that it was going to get better. I just couldn’t see how it was going to. The easy job and life that I had envisioned was not at all what it seemed.
When I got out to the hallway, I just had a pair of boxers on. I didn’t know where my pants were and there was no way that I was going to go searching in the dark for them while it sounded like someone was trying to pull the door down.
Seeing who it was, I stopped and sort of smiled to myself. “Well it seems like this is becoming a familiar sight, me on this side and you on that side.”
Cameron looked up at me with a dirty look on her face and I could tell that like before, she had had a little too much to drink.
“Just let me in Joel. I just want to get in and get to bed.”
“Why haven’t you been answering the door?”
“Because I don’t want to talk to you. After today, I definitely have nothing to say to you. I don’t even want to look at you.”
What had happened today to make her so mad at me? This was not because of the fight, it couldn’t be. That was quite some time ago and I was sure that she had gotten over it by now.
“Who the hell is making all of that damn noise!?”
Carlos came out of the apartment and looked at the two of us and just shook his head. He was going to say something smart, I could see it on his lips, but instead he just walked back in and shut the door a little louder than he should have.
“Let me in Joel.”
“No, not until you talk to me.” I was going to hold her ransom if I had to.
“Joel, this is ridiculous. Let me in!”
She was getting more and more irritated, but the fact of the matter was that I had her right where I wanted her. She wasn’t going to be able to leave me and ignore me now. Now she was going to have to talk to me and that was what I wanted. I wasn’t going to let her in until she heard me out and forgave me. That was the plan.
“Why won’t you accept my apology about it? I said I was sorry. Why isn’t that enough?”
“Because you ruined my life Joel, that is why.”
I didn’t consider that answer and I was sure that she was just being dramatic. It was one little fight. I had been in far worse many times before and nothing bad ever happened. It was what men did and a few bruises and a cut lip wasn’t enough for all of that to have happened.
“What are you talking about? I thought he was just some guy that worked with you?”
“He is a guy that is suing the company I work for and is the reason that I got fired today.”
The words were like a blow and even though she was quite a bit drunk, I could tell that she was angry. There were no more games to play. I had messed up and if the look on her face was any indication, there was no way that she was going to forgive me. I had ruined it. That was something that I was familiar with because I seemed to do it more often than not. What the hell was wrong with me?
I moved to open the door and though I thought she was paying attention, Cameron had her weight on the clear door and she fell in when I opened it for her. Catching her in my arms, I couldn’t help but wonder if it would be the last time that I felt her like this.
She didn’t immediately push me away, so I took the opportunity to hold her close to me. I wanted to kiss her and tell her that I was sorry, but I knew that it wasn’t wanted. My plans of having Cameron were gone. I had ruined her life and all because I’d gotten jealous. She wasn’t even mine and I was still jealous of anyone that got to see her and be around her. I wanted her to just be mine and only mine.
“I’m sorry Cameron.”
Her response was one that was unintelligible and as she tried to make her way up the stairs, it seemed she was having more trouble than before. “How did you even get home like this?”
She giggled and told me that she had her ways. Cameron’s blue eyes were glazed and she stopped to look at me. “I loved you, you know that?”
I shook my head that I didn’t know, at the same time my heart was soaring in my chest. I knew that it wasn’t something that she would have said when she was sober, but that didn’t matter. Alcohol had a way of getting the truth out, whether the person wanted it to come out or not. I saw it as a window into her mind. That is what I had to do or I was going to go crazy with the idea that she didn’t want me. If she did, even the tiniest bit at least meant that there was a chance and that was something that I was willing to hold onto.
“Do you want me to help you up the stairs?”
Cameron nodded that she didn’t. “I can do this myself. I don’t need your help.”
No sooner had she said it, Cameron stumbled. I couldn’t with a good conscious just let her go up the stairs and hurt herself. It didn’t have to do with the fact of who she was. I would do it for anyone, though I wasn’t sure if I would hold any other tenant in my arms the same way. She was cradled up against my chest and her face snuggled in while her arms looped around my neck. It was intimate and her body touched almost every bit of mine.
I got her up to the stairs, but this time Cameron
wasn’t fighting me. She wasn’t even trying to get down. Instead of acting like she did last time, this time she just held on and handed me her keys with one hand.
I took that as she wanted me to open the door for her, which was no small feat with her clinging to me the way that she was. I wanted to help her, but there was another part of me that dreaded the temptation of that help. What if I was unable to stop myself from doing something that I was going to regret? She was drunk and by the looks of things, a lot more agreeable than she usually was. I wanted to take advantage of that, even though I knew that it was wrong.
Telling myself that I was going to get her into bed safely and leave, I opened the door before I changed my mind. She was just too much temptation and it was hard for me to say no, especially when I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to say no to her. I wanted her badly and I knew that the only way it was going to happen, was the right way. I was just going to have to convince her that I wasn’t the bad guy that she thought I was. Waiting till she was sober was going to be a challenge.
“Take me to the bedroom Joel. I don’t think I can walk with the room spinning the way it is.”
The room wasn’t spinning, but I could tell that it felt that way to her. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to help her, but it was going to be hard to ignore the desire in her eyes. The bedroom was the last place I wanted to be with her at the moment when she was like this.
I did as she asked though. It didn’t matter that my insides were shaking and I was rock-hard with need. I was going to have to hold it together. She was drunk. I kept repeating that to myself, over and over again. It was hard to understand what was going on in her mind, but when she pulled me down with her on the bed, I groaned out with the feel of her squirming body underneath me.
“Come on Joel, I know that this is what you want.”
It was what I wanted, but I knew that it wasn’t right. She pulled me down for a kiss and I could taste the rum in her mouth. She tasted like drunken perfection. I pulled away after a moment, the sentence still repeating in my head. She was drunk.