Underwater

by Doe, Anna B.

  Ignoring my sarcasm, Caleb continues, “He’ll never be able to give you what you want. What you need. Taylor is just too self-centered. Too immersed in his own life and future to actually live in the present.”

  “Like you know what I want or need.” I roll my eyes at him, slowing down the car as we enter our town.

  Caleb chuckles again, this time louder. It makes me shiver. Why haven’t I ever noticed how nice his laugh is? It’s deep, manly, but at the same time young and carefree. It’s one of those sounds that pulls you in, making you want to smile, too. Like the sound of birds flittering and waves crashing against the shore in the early morning sun.

  It’s beautiful, just like him.

  His fingers touch mine. The light, almost nonexistent caress sends a zing of electricity up my arm and straight into my heart, making it skip a beat. Traitorous little thing.

  “Probably more than even you do.”

  I pull my hand out of his reach, placing both of them carefully on the steering wheel. The grip I have on it is so strong, my knuckles turn white.

  “You don’t know a thing,” I utter through gritted teeth.

  “Marissa…”

  Turning up the volume, I cut off whatever he wants to say.

  How dare he. He doesn’t know shit about me. Absolutely nothing. We’ve never been friends, never spoken more than a few words in passing or if we had a class together. Even then, the majority of our conversations were a nod in acknowledgment as we both went our separate ways.

  He doesn’t know anything about me. Not a thing.

  I drive through the quiet streets, feeling the tension in the car. Finally, we come to his house and I stop, grateful this is finally over.

  But I’m obviously one really unlucky person, because as I stop, he turns off the radio. Of course he wouldn’t leave me in peace. He’s too big of a jerk to do so.

  “Marissa, please…”

  “I don’t care, Caleb.” I cut him off, my eyes throwing daggers at him. “You don’t know me. We’re not friends, so don’t act otherwise.”

  His lips press in a tight line as we stare at each other.

  “I want you to go.” Murmuring quietly, I turn in my seat, signaling the end of the conversation.

  More than seeing it, I feel him nod his head. The car door opens, and his tall body gets out.

  I stare forward, looking at the beach and the ocean while I wait for him to close the door so I can get the fuck out of here. But he doesn’t do it instantly. He stands there, both hands pressed against my car, his body leaning forward.

  The words he wants to say are on the tip of his tongue. I can almost feel them. I expect them to come, but they don’t. Sighing, Caleb takes a step back and shuts the door.

  As soon as I hear the reassuring thud, I shift into gear and press on the gas.

  I need to get out of here.

  I need to erase the sound of his laughter from my ears.

  The feel of his skin against mine.

  His intoxicating scent that still lingers in the car.

  Clean and musky.

  Fresh.

  Salty.

  The ocean.

  It reminds me of the ocean.

  I drive to one of the secret coves. As soon as I park the car, I look around, checking that I’m completely alone before I start pulling off my clothes.

  Then I surrender to the call of the ocean.

  Caleb

  Frustration runs through my blood as I watch the tiny red car speed off into the night.

  Marissa Davenport is driving me nuts. I want to yell in frustration. Drag her back here and shake her until she realizes that what I’m saying is true.

  I see her.

  Really see her.

  I know little things that make her laugh, like strawberry ice cream and watching superhero movies. I know her favorite is Captain America because he’s kindhearted and genuinely good. I know how she tucks her hair behind her ear when she’s uncomfortable and how she hides her smile when somebody makes her laugh extra hard.

  I see the longing in her eyes when she looks at Taylor. A kaleidoscope of emotions changes on her face in those few seconds she allows herself to look at him.

  And it hurts. It hurts knowing all that and not being able to do anything about it. Not being able to say anything because while I look at her, she has her eyes set on somebody else. Somebody that doesn’t know her the way I do. Somebody who will never, ever be able to feel for her what I do.

  Balling my hands into fists by my side, I breathe out, trying to calm myself. The lights of her car are long gone, so I turn around and go inside my house.

  The television is on in the living room, the dim light illuminating the darkness.

  “Caleb?” Mom calls, lowering the volume.

  “I’m home, Ma.” I come to the door of the living room, leaning against the wall.

  She’s already in her pajamas, and I can see she’s tired, but she always waits for me to come home. No matter how late. Says she can’t sleep, which I find really silly, but I can’t convince her otherwise.

  “How was the movie?”

  “It was good.”

  Maybe it would have been if Marissa hadn’t been sitting right there next to me, her small body trying to become one with the chair. And maybe I would have found it funny, if it hadn’t been so agonizing.

  Her nearness.

  Her sweet scent.

  Her body heat.

  I wanted to touch her so badly. Accidently brush my hand against hers. Lean over and breathe her in. Touch a strand of all that wavy hair.

  She looked beautiful. She always does, but tonight Marissa had extra spark around her.

  All that for Taylor. It’s always Taylor with her.

  I didn’t even know they were going to the movies. And I probably wouldn’t have if Rob hadn’t invited us for burgers after we called it quits on surfing, and Ty said he had other plans. Movies with Marissa.

  It was just that for him. A movie with his friend. But I knew when he said it, it’d be more for her. A date. So when Rob invited us to tag along, I didn’t protest. It was an asshole move on my part, but I couldn’t take them being something more.

  All this time I’ve hidden what I’ve felt for her, kept it close to my heart. I could see the way people looked at her. Like I told her earlier, she’s an easy person to read. People looked at her with pity in their eyes because of her unrequited crush. I don’t want them to look at me the same way.

  It would be almost poetic. He looks at her and she looks at him, but they don’t look at each other.

  “Just good?” Mom asks, chuckling softly. She knows me too well.

  “More than just good. Totally unexpected is a better term.”

  “If you say so.” She gets out of her chair and turns off the TV. “I’m heading to bed. I have an early shift tomorrow.”

  I lean down to kiss the top of her dark brown hair as she passes by. She’s working too hard.

  “I think I’ll go for a jog.” The blood is still boiling in my veins, and I need to let off some steam. “Goodnight.”

  Mom gives me a stern look over her shoulder. “Don’t be too long. It’s a school day tomorrow.”

  I chuckle, watching her go to her bedroom. Always treating me like I’m a five-year-old.

  I take off my shirt, leaving it on the couch. Quickly, I exchange my Chucks for running shoes and go out through the back door.

  Without taking time to stretch, I start running. Hard and fast, my legs pump on the ground and then sand. I clear everything from my mind. I leave it all behind and concentrate on the exercise at hand. Jogging is more about mental strength than physical. It’s about proper breathing and state of mind.

  My heartrate rises with every step, but I try to keep my breathing even. In through the nose and out through the mouth. In and out. Slow and even.

  I put all of my emotions, all the frustration and anger, into pushing myself harder.

  The song of the waves accompa
nies me. It’s peaceful during the night, tranquil, when nobody’s around. Just land, ocean and the night sky.

  I slow down gradually, debating if I should take a dip or turn around and go home, when I see it. Just behind a rock that’s hiding a small cove is a dress.

  A white, strappy dress with yellow flowers that made the gold in her hair stand out.

  Marissa.

  Even when I try to avoid her, get her out of my system, she finds a way back.

  I turn around, my eyes instantly scanning for her.

  Why is she here? Skinny-dipping in the middle of the night?

  The questions bring out the picture I’m trying to forget. Marissa curled on the sand. Completely naked. Her sun-kissed skin. The curve of her breasts. Her ass.

  My body reacts immediately, getting painfully hard. I close my eyes, my jaw set in a tight line.

  Think about something else.

  Old Mrs. Smith who lives next door.

  I open my eyes, but something else catches my attention. A piece of satin and lace.

  Granny, I chant.

  Granny panties.

  Big, ugly granny panties.

  I will my eyes to look at the ocean, scanning the smooth surface just in time to see her get out of the water.

  Her head is tilted back. Her silky hair straight, wet and a shade darker. Or maybe it’s the night.

  She looks peaceful.

  At home.

  The ocean always has that effect on her.

  Marissa always likes to be close to it, even if just standing on the beach, watching the waves roll slowly toward her.

  A dolphin jumps out of the water next to her. She laughs, patting the creature on the head.

  I have to blink a few times to make myself believe what I’m seeing.

  It’s not unusual to see a dolphin around here. They mostly swim in pods, usually keeping to themselves, far from land and people. But this one is here, and it’s letting Marissa treat him like a pet.

  She giggles softly. I can hear her murmur something to the animal before she waves and dives in.

  She’s coming out, I realize.

  Quickly, I turn around and start jogging home.

  The last thing I need is a fresh image of her naked body in my mind.

  I run, slower than when I started, while my thoughts wander around. But all of them revolve around one thing.

  One person.

  Well, two.

  Marissa and that damn dolphin.

  MARISSA

  When I get home it’s almost midnight, but the light is still on in Noelani’s room. I stand between our two houses for a few seconds, debating whether to go home or stop by her place.

  Noel already texted me, like an hour ago, asking how the date went, but I was swimming so I didn’t see it until later. I planned on texting her back, but since I’m already here…

  I look at my house. Except for the front porch light, it’s in complete darkness.

  It’ll just be a few minutes, I tell myself as I walk across the lawn to her back door, dialing her phone at the same time. If I don’t talk to somebody, I’ll go nuts. And the last thing I need is another sleepless night.

  “’lou?” Noel answers, and from the tone of her voice, I already know she’s engrossed in the newest episode of whatever show she’s watching and didn’t take a second to look at who’s calling.

  “You better not be watching a new Arrow episode without me,” I scold her teasingly.

  “Risa!” Hearing my voice draws her attention. Sheets shuffle in the background as she sits up in bed. “How was the date?”

  I cringe at the word. Why did I ever think it would be a date? “I’m downstairs. Open the door, will ya?”

  Hanging up, I throw my phone into the small purse hanging on my shoulder. I don’t wait long. Noel’s footsteps come closer, and the sound of the lock opening fills the silence of the night.

  Noel’s blond head peeks out, looking at me from behind the half-open door. “What are you doing here?”

  She opens the door, letting me in. Already in her pajamas, because it’s past midnight and normal people go to bed at that time, her hair is braided to keep it off her make-up-free face.

  When she gets a better look at me, she frowns. “What happened to you?”

  “I know I won’t be able to sleep, and I didn’t want to talk about this on the phone.”

  “So you what? Went to take a swim to clear your mind?”

  “Something like that.”

  We whisper quietly as we walk slowly toward the back of the house to her bedroom.

  The house is silent and dark, her parents already asleep. Both wake up early to go to work. Her dad owns a hardware store that’s been in his family for generations now, and her mom is a preschool teacher.

  Slowly, Noel closes the door behind us, so not to wake her parents.

  I throw myself onto her bed, half my body hanging off, and look at the ceiling. It’s white. A complete opposite to the rest of the walls, which are painted pink.

  “So what happened?” She jumps to the bed, bouncing excitedly like a five-year-old. “You didn’t call me back and you’re just now coming home. Was it successful? Did you two go somewhere after the movies? Did he kiss you?”

  Noel blasts me with questions, grinning excitedly.

  “Nothing.” I let my head fall backward over the edge of the bed. It’s a queen size, and although I’m not tall, my legs hang off the other side.

  She throws one of the dozen fluffy white pillows at me. “What do you mean nothing?”

  I throw the pillow back at her. “Just like I said. Nothing. It wasn’t even a date…”

  “But…” She starts to protest, but finds herself with a lack of words. Welcome to the club, my friend.

  I nod my head in understanding. “Robert and Caleb were with us.”

  “He invited his friends?” she shrieks loudly.

  “Shush!” I give her a stern look. “You’ll wake up your parents.”

  “So what?! I can’t believe the dude brought his friends to your date.”

  “Obviously, he didn’t consider it a date.” I try to act nonchalant, but it’s hard. I still can’t believe Taylor would do something like this without asking me. He could have at least warned me! Something along the lines of: “Hey! My friends invited themselves along with us. Hope that’s okay” would have been nice.

  “So, what happened?”

  Sighing, I sit up, pulling one of her fluffy pillows to my lap, and tell her everything about the movie. Well, not everything. I couldn’t tell her how unnerved I was sitting between Ty and Caleb. How Caleb made me squirm in my seat, raising my self-consciousness to skyscraper level.

  “And then you drove Caleb home?” Noel is hanging from my every word, somehow more interested in all the drama with boys than worried that tonight was a complete disaster.

  I couldn’t forget that, because the time is ticking. I have now less than three months to make Ty fall for me. If I don’t… Well, it’s goodbye legs and hello scales.

  Forever.

  At least you won’t have to worry about shaving, the devil on my shoulder whispers into my ear. I want to kick him in the ass, but I can’t because he’s right.

  I nod my head at Noelani’s question, suddenly feeling drained. This has been one long and emotionally exhausting day, and I’m ready to crash, but first I have to drag my sorry ass back home and into my bed.

  “How was it?”

  “How was what?” I frown at her, getting to my feet.

  “Being stuck for an hour with Caleb in the car, silly!” The look she gives me is knowing. “He’s crazy hot. I mean, Ty isn’t bad either, but he’s too sweet. Caleb, on the other hand, is smoking hot with those color-changing eyes, that tall body and those wide shoulders. His pierced lip screams bad boy and those dark curls…”

  Noel closes her eyes, humming contently. A zap of something passes through me. It’s gone fast. Like a match you try to light, but the flame dies ev
en before it started to actually burn.

  Irritated with my own attitude, I grit my teeth. “I don’t know. I just gave him a ride back to the city and ditched him in front of his house. I should go,” I blurt suddenly. “It’s pretty late.”

  Noel gives me a strange look, but she climbs off the bed. She walks me to the door, where we say our goodnights.

  I walk across her yard to mine and sneak into my house. I don’t bother with a shower, simply taking off my clothes and pulling on a tank before I fall face first into my bed. Hoping that tonight will bring me peaceful dreams.

  Marissa

  “Can I get you anything else?” I smile at the customers, a young family that came all the way from Quebec.

  “We’re good. Thank you.”

  Nodding, I turn around, my eyes already looking for a customer who’s waiting to be served. Everything seems fine, so with the tray securely in my hand, I go back inside.

  Azure Pearl is always extremely busy during the summer season. When the tourists start to roll in, business picks up and Mom has to hire a couple of high school kids along with Noel and me to help her out. Since school is in, we help her only on weekends, and if she’s really busy, I work some afternoons after school.

  The café is located at the beach. A little square establishment that has glass walls on three sides of the building that open completely to the wooden terrace. It’s in the middle of a terrace with two dozen tables surrounding it that are currently filled with guests—regular patrons, tourists and high school kids. Palm trees are strategically planted to provide shade from the burning summer sun and a little privacy to the guests.

  “Everything good outside?” Noel asks me once I lay the tray on the counter. She’s preparing ice cream deliciousness for her own customers.

  You’d think I would get enough ice cream and pastries since I’m around here all the time, but no. I love them just the same as I did when I was younger.

  “Yeah.” I shrug. “Just a regular Saturday afternoon.”

  “Mhmm… maybe you shouldn’t say it twice.” I frown at her words. “Eight o’clock. But don’t turn…” I turn around abruptly. “Guess I was too late.”

  Noel sighs dramatically. You can’t tell a girl something like that and expect her not to turn around. It just doesn’t work that way.