Her whole face was twisted in disgust and anger and she turned her eyes on me as if she were expecting me to come up with an answer to her rhetorical question.
“I don’t know, Cheryl. That was weird. Maybe he had somewhere to be?” I suggested rather unhelpfully.
“No, that was really rude!” she insisted, her hurt subsiding to anger. “It was rude of him to show up with you in the first place and then to get up and leave all of a sudden like that….” Her eyes were flashing now and I was a little bit afraid. “Why did you come here with him?” she demanded of me.
“Cheryl – I’m so sorry. I was over at his office – we had a meeting about newspaper stuff and when the meeting was done he mentioned that he was coming over here to meet you and would I like to come. I didn’t think it was a big deal. I didn’t think you guys had, like, some big date.” I was treading water here.
“Okay. Okay. Well let’s think about this,” she began chewing her thumbnail in earnest. “What did he say? That he might be going into town tomorrow and that he wanted to talk about the dance with me next week. Okay. We can go into town and see where his car is parked. If he’s at the movies, we’ll see it, and if it isn’t then we can easily find the party.
“Oh no wait!” she slammed her fist down on the table. “Damn! I just remembered I have to take Lisa into the city tomorrow for her thing! Damn! Even if it’s quick, it’s still over two hours to get back home again. The earliest we’ll get back is like,” Cheryl began doing some quick math in her head. “Okay, wait a minute. This could work actually. I was hoping to get some shopping done, but if we leave right away, we could easily be back here by the afternoon. And then I could still go to this party.”
“But Lisa’s not going to be in any shape to go to a party!” I was shocked that Cheryl would think it was even a possibility.
“Oh right. Of course.” Cheryl grimaced.
“Well! You know what? Lisa doesn’t have to come!” Cheryl declared. “I’m already doing her a big enough favor by driving her into the city….she can miss one party.”
“If he even goes to the party,” I reminded her. “He did say he would probably just stay here and not do anything.”
I was trying to subtly suggest to Cheryl that his answers all seemed rather vague, as if they were just subterfuge so that she wouldn’t know what he was really going to do on the weekend.
“But I’ll know if he goes anywhere – I can see his car from my window, remember? So if he stays here, I’ll know, and if car is missing I’ll know he went to town,” she reasoned.
“Cheryl,” I started to say very hesitantly, “I know we haven’t known each other much more than a week, but it seems to me that Chad might find it irritating if you showed up at that party. I mean, assuming he’s going.”
“Why? Why do you say that? Has he said something to you about me?” she snapped.
“No, not at all!” I was lying, but how could I tell her the truth? She reacted so badly to my subtle suggestions that I feared I wouldn’t live to tell the tale if I dared to be brutally honest with her. “But based on what you’ve told me about your history with him and about the conversations the two of you have had recently…it just seems like he wants to take it slow and not be in each other’s pockets all the time.”
“He can’t get mad at me for showing up at a party that a lot of other people are going to be at as well,” she sniffed at me.
“But why not give him a little break? Give him a chance to miss you?”
“He’s had all summer to miss me!” she cried. “How can you even say these things to me? You’ve never had a boyfriend, have you?” she glared at me.
“No, not really,” I mumbled.
“Okay. So here’s the thing. I know you’re new here, so let me fill you in. Chad is the best looking, most popular boy in this whole school. AND his family is one of the wealthiest in the country AND he’s a senior now. So don’t think every single girl at Brandenhurst isn’t dying to get their paws on him. So if I let him out of my sight for one second,” she broke off her nasty rant and actually shuddered dramatically, “I shudder to think of all the girls throwing themselves at him. He could have his pick! Didn’t you see that creepy movie with the cross dresser and the girl in the hole? ‘We covet what we see.’ That means I have to be the most beautiful girl that he sees and he has to see me often.”
“I don’t know if Silence of the Lambs was intended as a relationship guide,” I said in a half-hearted attempt to lighten the mood.
“Well. You know what I mean,” she insisted stubbornly.
“Okay, so let’s say he goes to this party – or a movie – he said he might go to a movie – and you go, too and you bump into him and you have a good time and everything goes well…meanwhile what is Lisa doing? She’s in your room alone, possibly bleeding out from…from…the procedure. Seriously, Cheryl, forget Chad. You can’t leave Lisa alone all night.”
She let out an enormously frustrated sigh. “Oh my god, Lisa! Lisa is royally screwing up this weekend!” she buried her face in her hands.
“Wait! I know!” she snapped her head up and looked me directly in the eyes. “You can stay and look after Lisa. It’s perfect! You already know the big secret, so it’s not like we have to get anyone else involved. Would you mind?” she cocked her head and looked at me in such a way that there was no way in hell I could possibly say that I minded.
“Of course I will,” I said and tried not to sound begrudging. “But only if it’s okay with Lisa. I’m pretty sure she’d prefer you to stay with her, but if she doesn’t mind.”
“No, why would she mind? She’ll understand how important this is for me. And you have nothing better to do anyway,” Cheryl shrugged indifferently.
“Well I do have a lot of homework,” I corrected her.
“Well that’s perfect. You can use my laptop to do it on.”
I brightened at this. It would actually make my life considerably easier if I could stay in the dorm instead of having to work in the cramped, noisy computer lab.
“Really? That would be fantastic!” I said sincerely.
“And I know!” Her face was overtaken by a sly grin. “While you’re using my computer maybe you could answer a few questions for me on that book you love so much!”
“What? The short answer questions on Jane Eyre?”
I mulled it over for a second. Although I was completely aware that I was being used and manipulated, it really wouldn’t be too much trouble for me. And it might score me some brownie points with Cheryl that I could perhaps save up and make use of later.
“Yeah, sure!” I answered. “No problem!”
“Really!? You’re the best!” she squealed, and I actually smiled thinking that I had done something right in her eyes for once. “That’ll help me out A LOT! Just don’t write anything too smart or use too many big words or they’ll know I didn’t write any of it! Ugh – I can’t believe how early I’m going to have to get up tomorrow to take Lisa into the city,” she sighed.
“You’re a really good friend to do that for her,” I observed.
“Yeah, well I hope she appreciates it,” Cheryl snarked.
“I’m sure she does. I know she does,” I said.
“But who cares about that. Let’s talk about what I should wear tomorrow night!”
I was glad that neither of them asked me to accompany them the next day into the city. It seemed like a terrible ordeal that I would gladly have gone through for a dear friend, but I thought of neither of these girls as dear yet. In fact, I was still rather confused and uncertain about why either of them wanted to be friends with me at all and I was constantly waiting to feel the blade of a knife pierce me between the shoulder blades.
I was thrilled that I got to spend that Friday night with Stefano. The first week of school had taken my mind off of him somewhat, but now that the weekend had arrived I realized I had been dying to see him. He appeared shortly after Margie took off for the weekend. (I realized I hadn’t
even asked her how her boyfriend’s grandfather was doing, but as soon as she left I guessed that he had come back from wherever he had gone. I hoped his grandfather was fine.) I was lying on my bed looking over the required reading assignment for Italian when Stefano materialized beside me.
“Oh you!” I breathed happily. “You are a sight for sore eyes!”
“As are you, my sweet,” and he dropped the most delicious kiss on my lips as only he could ever kiss me.
“You know when I first got here, and I was lonely and crying all the time, but you would come to my room and we’d talk about Byron (he flinched in mock disgust) or go for walks in the rose garden? Well I miss those days. A LOT!” I sighed.
“Lady Catherine. What troubles you? Unburden yourself on me. But please God, do not utter the name of that wretch again!” he said as he playfully chuckled me under the chin.
“Oh, where do I begin? I feel like a terrible person for lying to Cheryl about Chad. It’s clear from what he’s said to me that he wants nothing to do with her and he’s merely being civil in the interest of keeping her from having a nuclear meltdown.” I saw the puzzled look on his face and added, “Like Vesuvius.”
“Oh,” he nodded in understanding.
“But he’s been really great to me – he’s editor of the paper and he gave me my own column! I’m so excited about that! And he obviously doesn’t want me repeating to her the things he says. But she’s so hopeful and determined. I think she must love him like crazy,” I mused aloud.
“Does she? Or does she love his money and status?” Stefano queried.
“I don’t think money’s an issue for her! She has enough of her own! Well, I mean her parents do.”
“Alright then, not money, but social position, surely? If she truly, selflessly loved him she wouldn’t chase after him after he’s made it quite clear to her that he wishes to be left alone,” Stefano observed.
“Ha! Well, first of all “selfless” is not a word in Cheryl’s vocabulary!” I guffawed.
“Precisely. And what does she tell her good friend about how the other boy feels about her?”
“Who, Lisa and Trevor? What do you mean?”
“Well, supposedly this Trevor was never too mad about Lisa to begin with, and yet Cheryl withholds that information from her.” Stefano raised his eyebrows at me to emphasize his point.
“Oh you’re right! So I guess I don’t need to feel too guilty, since Cheryl tried to spare Lisa’s feelings in the exact same way,” I contemplated.
“And not only that, but was not Lisa oblivious to the information? The boy strung her along and Cheryl said nothing. Whereas Cheryl’s fellow has made his feelings clear. You’re not concealing anything from her at all, she simply chooses to ignore the information that’s already been given to her.
“You know, you’re completely right.” I said, grateful for his objective insight once again.
“It’s rather wise of you not to mention what the boy has said to you about her if you know it would only inflame her,” he reasoned.
“You’re right. I’d just be stirring up trouble if I was to say anything. So I should continue not to say anything with a clear conscience.”
“Pleased to help you out of your moral dilemma,” he tipped his head to me. “Now tell me why you’re spending so much time with this boy and why he wants you to work for him on the paper when he’s never read anything you’ve written and why he’s confiding in you about this girl down the hall,” he narrowed his eyes at me.
A mischievous smile slowly spread across my face. “Are you jealous of him? We’ve had this discussion before, I think!”
“No, I am not jealous of him anymore than I am jealous of that rogue poet of yours! He’s but a stripling! He’d stand no chance in a duel against me!” Stefano sniffed.
“Ah! There’ll be no need for duels!” I laughed! “My heart belongs to you and you only!” I smiled sweetly and shyly up at him.
He smiled with his eyes at me. Oh god, how I loved staring into those glass green eyes. Neither of us broke the gaze until I felt the flush of blood in my face.
“Oh there it is again! Those gorgeous roses in your cheeks I’ve come to love so much!”
He grasped me around the back of the neck and pulled me close to him. Or perhaps in reality I lunged myself at him as he was quite devoid of the ability to handle me physically – it didn’t matter. We were wholly in sync with each other and I could feel the light being exchanged between our eyes like a laser beam that was connecting our souls. My breathing was long and deep and I lay back on the bed dying for him to embrace me in that metaphysical way of his. But as I did so, my head hit my Italian text and sent it sliding off the bed and crashing to the floor.
“What is the book you are reading?” he asked as he peered over me to try and see.
“Funny you should ask! It’s my Italian textbook. I was looking over the little dialogues we need to learn for next week,” I answered.
“Would you like me to practice with you? The night is young, we have plenty of time,” he offered.
Right at that moment I was feeling just the tiniest bit resentful at my Italian textbook for interrupting my romantic interlude, however I really did need to practice. And he was right – the night was young and we had plenty of time.
Stefano laughed at my pronunciation of certain words. I kept getting parlo and parla mixed up so instead of asking him if he spoke English, I was asking him if I spoke English!
“I have no idea what language I speak right now!” I laughed in exasperation.
“No, no, you’re doing very well!” he encouraged. “I just like to tease you because I just like to tease you!”
I was beginning to make some progress: especially considering I had never spoken a word of Italian before this week. The constant repetition of the phrases would have been mind numbingly boring and frustrating if Stefano hadn’t been there to bring some fun and frivolity into it. Although, I think just having Stefano in the room could have made me like Algebra.
And then, as always whenever Stefano and I were able to snatch a moment alone there was the knock on the door.
“Um, Catherine!” Cheryl called. “Who are you talking to and what language are you speaking in? Are you speaking in tongues? Are you going to vomit green peas up all over me?”
I gave Stefano an apologetic look and went to the door.
“Hey – no, I’m just practicing my Italian homework. We have these dialogues to learn…” I explained as Cheryl barged in.
“Um, you do know it’s Friday night, right?” she pursed her lips at me in condescension.
“Yeah, I know, but I might be too busy with Lisa tomorrow and I hate leaving things til Sunday.”
“You are such a goody-goody!” she squealed and pinched my cheeks.
“Have you talked to her? Is she okay with you taking off and me taking care of her,” I asked.
“Oh no. Not yet. I’ll tell her in the car tomorrow. We have a loooooong drive, so there’ll be plenty of time for that discussion,” Cheryl assured me.
“Oh god,” she rolled her eyes and let out a dramatic sigh. “I came here to ask you if you wanted to go the bar in town since Lisa can’t go tonight. I mean she can, but she can’t eat or drink anything, so what’s the point? But you don’t have ID,” she mock-pouted at me as if not having ID was something I’d done on purpose to annoy her.
I was rankled at her mention of the ID situation, and that she had never really apologized for that evening – or even realized that she had something to apologize for! But I decided to let it roll off my back. I had no interest in hanging out with her that evening. I just wanted her to leave so I could get back to Stefano.
“Nah, thanks so much for thinking of me, but I’m really tired. I actually just wanna stay in tonight with a book,” I said evenly.
“Alright,” she sighed heavily. “I guess I’ll go downstairs and see if there’s anyone to go with. Try not to have too much fun with your book!” she
mocked me and bounced out of the room.
I turned back to Stefano and sighed.
“Alright, “ I said. “Can we forget about my Italian homework for a minute?”
He looked at me quizzically.
“All I want in the world is to lie down with your arms around me,” I whispered.
He stretched them out to me and I joined him on the bed. I buried my face in his chest and tried to breathe him in, but couldn’t. It was enough that I could feel his warmth and his energy around me, but I longed to feel him as a solid mass. As much as I loved just feeling his energy and his essence around me, I was beginning to feel like there was something more that I was mentally and emotionally reaching out for, stretching out for that which was just out of reach and always would be. I wanted to smell him and feel his weight and to know what his skin felt like on mine…but perhaps such longings would only lead me to trouble anyway, like the kind of trouble that Lisa was now in.
“What bothers you my darling?” I swear he really could read my thoughts.
I exhaled slowly and shook my head. “It’s everything that’s going on with Lisa and Cheryl right now. Lisa’s in some trouble. I suppose it’ll be fixed, but it’s going to leave some deep scars. I’m sure you don’t want to hear about it.”
“You can tell me if you want, but if you prefer not to, I won’t ask,” he said sensitively.
“Well, I suppose it’s alright if you know. I just feel awkward talking about it with you, because…you’re not…”
“Alive?” he guessed and I think he was a tiny bit insulted.
“No! That’s not what I was going to say at all!” I exclaimed. “Because you’re not a girl!”
“Oh, I see. Well then I can guess the kind of trouble she’s in.”
“Well after tomorrow she won’t be in any trouble anymore,” I said.
He nodded gravely.
“Anyway, that’s what’s on my mind. And Cheryl is more concerned about chasing after Chad than she is about sticking around to help Lisa tomorrow. Although, I can’t quite blame her too much – the same thing happened to Cheryl a few years ago and I think the whole thing brings up bad memories for her. So tomorrow night, I’ll probably spend the evening with Lisa in her room to make sure she’s alright.”
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