Seeing how angry Chad was getting made me feel like I shouldn’t have told him.
“Jesus, Catherine. I’m so sorry he did that to you. He won’t hurt you – I swear on my life I won’t let him.” Chad was clenching his jaw.
“Well I went and talked to one of the guidance counselors about it. That’s how freaked out I was. I don’t know if anyone’s talked to him yet,” I admitted.
“Okay. That was probably the right thing to do, although I don’t know how he’s going to react when they talk to him. I don’t think they have yet, otherwise he would have mentioned it,” he said pensively. “Damn! I wish you’d told me earlier!”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know how to handle it really. Uh, I’ve been having kind of a tough time lately with people and…” Out of nowhere tears sprang out of my eyes and started rolling down my cheeks.
“Ah, Catherine. Shit. Between him and Cheryl you’ve been having a really hard time. I’m sorry I didn’t see that before.”
“It’s okay,” I said as I impatiently tried to brush the tears away. “It’s not your fault. Not your responsibility.”
“No, I’m your friend. And those two…” he trailed off shaking his head. “They’re bullies. Plain and simple. Please promise that you’ll tell me if anything else happens. Right away.” He was looking at me very seriously.
I nodded weakly and managed a half smile.
“No, I want you to say out loud that you promise me,” he demanded.
“I promise,” I half-whispered.
“Good.” He rubbed his temple with his fingers and then said, “You realize with all this drama today we haven’t even looked at the dialogue assignment for this week?” he cocked his head at me and raised his eyebrows.
“You’re right!” I said over-brightly.
“Shall we order some more coffees and get our books out?” he asked.
“You know, I think I’d prefer tea!” I smiled.
“Excellent choice,” he said as he tried to catch the waitress’s attention.
I let out a deep sigh as I remarked, “Can you imagine how different everything would have been if I had been assigned a different room on a different floor? I probably wouldn’t even know Lisa and Cheryl or Trevor.”
He looked at me for a moment and then he said, “I’m sorry that they’ve been so horrible to you, but I’m glad it worked out the way it did.”
“Why?” I asked in surprise.
He shrugged and then he said, “If you hadn’t have met them, then I wouldn’t have met you. Excuse me, could we get some more coffee please? No – sorry - one coffee and one tea.”
We spent the next half an hour or so translating our dialogue and going over the Italian pronunciation.
I don’t know about Chad, but I was only spending about half of my attention on it. My mind suddenly had far more interesting things to mull over.
CHAPTER 26
Normally, Stefano would come on Sunday evenings to spend some time with me before Margie came back. For some reason, on this particular night, he didn’t.
I was glad; I had a lot to think about. But I felt guilty about feeling glad and I worried about what could have kept him away. Then I chastised myself for being so ridiculous. He’s not even alive, it’s not like something bad could have happened to him, I thought. Then I wondered if he was able to read my thoughts or pick up on my feelings. The fear that he could have had even the slightest idea of what was going through my head at that moment mortified me, so I was relieved when Margie finally came home and I had someone to distract me from thinking about all of it.
Later, as I lay in my little bed in the dark waiting for sleep to take me, I nuzzled my cheek into my pillow and found my thoughts turning to Chad.
In the morning, I awoke before Margie and stealthily dressed to go down to the stables. For once, Andrea had arrived before me, and she was outside waiting for me with a very distressed look on her face.
“Andrea! What’s wrong? Is Athena okay?” I asked imagining the worst.
“She’s fine – thank god! But somebody was here and they unlatched the door to her stall and left it wide open!”
“What? Are you sure you just didn’t close it properly the last time you rode?” I asked.
“No! Look what someone wrote on the door!” She grabbed my arm and pulled me inside.
In bright red spray paint, someone had written:
Where did the horse go?
But they had crossed out the word “horse” and written “whores” above it. And then they had crossed out the word “whores” and written “horse” again above that.
“They opened the door and probably tried to lead Athena out!” Andrea cried. “Thank god she’s stubborn and refused to leave her bed for the night! So they left the door open hoping that she might wander away later! Who would do this?!”
Andrea was understandably beside herself.
“Cheryl,” I stated angrily. “This is Cheryl all over. There’s not a doubt in my mind! She even made the same stupid joke about “horse” and “whores” in class the other day!”
“Why?!” Andrea gasped. “Why would she do that to me?”
“It’s not you, it’s me. She hates me because she’s insanely jealous of my friendship with her ex-boyfriend. She’ll do anything to hurt me and humiliate me,” I fumed.
“But my horse could have run away! She tried to do harm to my horse!” Andrea cried.
“We’re going straight to the office to report this,” I said decisively.
“Are you insane?” Andrea looked at me like I had two heads. “We can’t go ratting on Cheryl to the principal!”
“Why not? This is really serious! Like you said, your horse could have – “
“Cheryl’s father is on the board of directors of this school! She has carte blanche to do whatever she wants!” Andrea shook her head at me.
I was stunned. Now it made sense why Ms. Tyrol hadn’t made a bigger deal out of catching me helping Cheryl cheating. She had dismissed Cheryl that day and now I wondered if she had ever even mentioned it to her at all again. I wondered if she had even been given a grade of incomplete for the assignment, or if Ms. Tyrol had quietly given her a low grade without mentioning it.
“But this must be a criminal act!” I protested. “It’s vandalism at the very least!”
“You know what,” Andrea’s voice had dropped and I knew she meant business, “I’m sorry, but if Cheryl hates you this much then you have to stay away from my horse. I can’t let you ride her anymore. I can’t. If Cheryl’s willing to hurt my Athena to get to you…” She was shaking her head as she backed away from me.
“Andrea, please! Come to the office with me right now!” I pleaded.
“No! No, no, no! I will have nothing to do with tattling on Cheryl. And I wouldn’t either if I were you. I’m going to try to scrub this paint off, and I’m getting a padlock for her stall and that’s the end of it. And you can’t come here anymore,” she held her index finger up at me to let me know how serious she was.
My anger turned to defeat. I was on the verge of tears, and so I turned and fled from the stable and ran back to the dorm.
My rage flared as I walked past Cheryl and Lisa’s door. I tried to contain myself so as not to wake Margie as I slipped into our room. I angrily grabbed at my shower things and decided to have a long, hot one in hopes that it would calm me down and allow me to think of what to do next.
As the hot water coursed over my body, I let my tears loose to be washed away down the drain with it. I actually howled in rage and frustration and didn’t care if anyone across the hall could hear me. Let them. They deserved to be woken from their sleep. I don’t know how they could sleep after what they’d done.
When I came back to the room, Margie was beginning to stir.
“What’s going on?” she asked all bleary eyed. “You’re not going riding today?”
“Nope!” I said as I slammed my bottle of conditioner down on my bureau. “I’m never going riding again,
as a matter of fact!”
“Did you have a fight with Andrea? I told you she was Miss Priss.”
“No – I didn’t have a fight with Andrea. What I have, apparently, is a never-ending vendetta against me by Cheryl. She tried to let Andrea’s horse out of its stall and spray painted some horrible message for me on the door!” My voice was rising.
“What? What are you talking about?!” Margie screwed up her face at me in disbelief.
I took a deep breath and tried to explain the whole situation to Margie as calmly as I could.
“Oh. My. God. That takes the goddamned cake!” Margie’s jaw was nearly on the floor. “Wow. Well it just goes to show how badly her giant ego is damaged over this guy who can’t even stand her! Pathetic, really! What are you going to do?”
“What can I do? I didn’t know her father was on the board!” I said.
“That’s right. He is. I had forgotten about that, but yeah, I did know that,” Margie said as she chewed her thumbnail.
“I mean, look – she can taunt me and torture me all she wants, but when she’s putting somebody else’s animal at risk…that’s just lower than low. Forget how fucking unfair it is that it means I can’t go riding anymore…” My voice cracked and I started to cry again.
“Aw, don’t cry! Don’t cry,” Margie finally climbed out of her bed and put her arms around me. “Don’t let those bitches get to you! I’m serious!”
“Why do I always have to have English with her first thing on Monday morning?!” I cried as I realized what my first class was.
“Who cares? You walk in there with your head held high and you ignore her. And don’t even acknowledge the situation,” Margie advised me. “Come on – let’s get dressed and we’ll go downstairs and get something to eat before school starts.”
As it happened, I was eternally grateful for Margie’s company that morning. As soon as we walked into the dining hall, I saw them sitting at their usual table near the back window.
My stomach clenched. Margie grabbed my elbow.
“Come on, now! Don’t look at them, chin up, chin up remember! We’ll go get some toast and some juice and what else do you want?” Margie asked me.
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe a bagel. With some cream cheese.”
“Aw, come on! Even I know that’s too many carbs and too much fat together! Have two!” Margie cajoled me.
I actually laughed a little.
“Oh! Smiling! Smiling is good!” Margie prattled on.
We got our food and took our trays out into the seating area. Margie thought the same way Chad did and insisted on sitting so that she was facing them and I had my back turned.
“Ha HA!” Margie laughed smugly. “Those girls are over there snickering and giggling and pointing like what they did was a funny joke! Like interfering with someone’s prized horse is hilarious! Like vandalism is something to be proud of! Wow – says a lot, duddn’t it?” she grinned at me sardonically.
“Oh Margie,” I said as I shook my head. “I don’t even know where to begin. I’m even mad at Andrea and I shouldn’t be.”
“What do you mean?” she cocked her eyebrow at me.
“Well, it would be really great if she would stick up for me and go with me to the principal’s office! I mean, it’s her horse, after all! You’d think she’d be more concerned about making sure the perpetrators didn’t get away with it!”
“Oh, she’s not interested in justice,” Margie scoffed. “All she cares about is her horse. She’ll probably go running to Cheryl to tell her that she’s not friends with you anymore and that she’ll never let you anywhere near her horse again.”
“Yeah, probably,” I said glumly. “I mean I kind of don’t blame her. But it’s frustrating.”
“I know,” Margie empathized.
“And the worst part is, I loved riding so much! And now goddamned Cheryl has taken that away! You know how infuriating that is? She didn’t just insult me, or embarrass me, or whatever. She took away something I really loved!”
I guess I should have paid more attention to Margie’s twitching facial expressions. If I had I would have realized that Cheryl was walking right up behind me to our table.
“Somebody took away something you really loved?!” she said gleefully in her sweet-as-saccharine-and-twice-as-fake voice. “Well, now you know how it feels,” she snarled as she gave my book bag a sharp kick for emphasis.
“Better pick that up off the floor,” she called over her shoulder as she made her exit. “Somebody might trip over it!”
I turned to Margie and was about to open my mouth to speak when Janice, Lisa, and another girl I didn’t recognize all filed passed our table and all gave my bag a kick in succession, smirking at me menacingly as they passed.
“Are they serious?” Margie said scornfully. “What was the point of that? I mean, seriously!”
“I don’t even know that one girl! I don’t think I’ve ever seen her before!” I was astonished that someone I had never met could show me such malice.
“Like, did they sit there and Cheryl said, ‘let’s all kick her bag as we leave?’ and the rest of them thought it was a great idea? Where do these people come from?! You see why I take off and do my own thing with my own friends who don’t go to this school!” she exclaimed. “You should get more into the high life – you could come and hang out with us!” she said only half-jokingly.
“Come on. I guess it’s time to face the inevitable,” I said gloomily as I got up and got myself ready to go to class.
“Do you want me to walk you there?” Margie offered.
“Oh no. It’s fine. The worst bit is over, I think. But thank you,” I smiled weakly.
When I got to English class I was surprised to find that Cheryl and Janice weren’t there yet. That was strange – they had left the dining hall before me. But to be safe I took a seat right in the first row – front and centre so that I’d be as close to the teacher as possible and hopefully well out of their range.
Of course, as they arrived and walked past me, they couldn’t help but make their terribly pithy horse/whores joke.
“Do you smell whores?” Janice asked loudly as she passed my desk.
“No – only one!” Cheryl completed the joke and they both began cackling as they headed to the back of the room.
I kept my face rigid, but I was seething inside.
I quickly pulled my phone out of my bag – I still had a minute before class started. Thankfully it hadn’t been damaged by the assault on my bag earlier.
I texted Chad:
Sorry to bother you.
Can we talk at lunch?
At newspaper office?
I didn’t expect to hear back from him right away; I assumed he was sitting in his own class which was about to start and probably wouldn’t have his phone out lest it be confiscated as per school policy. But to my immeasurable relief he texted back right away.
Yes. Of course.
Everything alright?
But I had no chance to respond. Ms Tyrol entered the room right at that moment and I had to slip my phone back in my bag quickly and surreptitiously.
At lunch, I practically ran across the campus to the administration building to see Chad. I got the office before he did, and so sat myself down on the dilapidated sofa to wait. I wondered if he thought I was going to get something to eat before I came, and so he was doing the same. The longer I sat there impatiently tapping my fingers, the more I felt like my insides were going to burst and the more I feared I might start crying at any moment.
God! I was tired of crying! I think I had cried more in the past month than I had ever done in my whole life put together.
Finally Chad came through the door. I stood up abruptly.
“Hey – is everything alright?” he asked with concern. “No wait – you don’t even have to answer, I can see that it isn’t.”
He came over to me and put his hands on my shoulders.
“What? What is it? What have they done no
w?” He searched my eyes with his.
“Is it too late to pull my column?” I asked.
“What? Why? It’s beautiful – what are you talking about?”
“Well the thing is, it’s a little bit, I don’t know, inappropriate in light of what happened this morning and in light of the fact that due to what happened this morning I will no longer be able to ride or go anywhere near the stables anymore,” I blurted out.
“Sit down,” Chad guided me over to the sofa and we sat down together. “Okay, start from the beginning.”
I told him all of it, and it took every fiber, every nerve, every cell in my body not to break down crying as I told it. I couldn’t bear the thought of crying in front of him again; it was just too pathetic for words. This meant that a lot of the time my jaw was clenched and my voice was tight as an overwrought piano string, but I kept the tears back.
Chad sat back and took a deep breath and crossed and uncrossed his arms as he thought out his response.
“Okay, first of all, I’m so sorry that she did this. She didn’t just cross the line this time, she took a great big flying leap over it,” he said. “I mean, forget the line. She broke the law!” his mouth twisted in disgust.
“I don’t know if it’s too late to pull your column,” he continued, looking at me seriously. “I mean, I understand why you’d want to. I do, and I promise I’ll see what I can do. But we don’t print the paper here on the premises. It gets sent out, and it’s already been sent. Now I don’t know if I can contact the printers – it means I’ll have to reformat that section…” he furrowed his brow as he tried to think of everything that it would entail.
“Oh Chad – I’m sorry. I don’t want you to go that much trouble. I just thought that if it was still at a stage where it was an easy thing to do…but it’s obviously not, so don’t worry about it. I don’t want you to have to reformat for me – that’s a giant headache,” I said.
“No – I’ll do it,” he insisted. “I mean, I’ll try. I don’t know if it’s possible, but I will try.”
“Thank you so much. You’ve been so great to me. Which makes what I’m about to say that much harder…”
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