Hours later, his head aching, his eyes burning, Jax stared up at the ceiling and tried to pinpoint the precise time his well-ordered life had begun to spin out of control.
Six
Hetty would’ve given anything for concealer, blusher and lipstick. Jax had brought her a toothbrush, toothpaste, comb and a hairbrush from the drugstore last night and asked if she needed anything else before morning.
She could have mentioned several items. Deodorant. Nightgown. Clean underwear. Her old life back.
Instead, she’d sponged her skirt and mended the rip, using the hotel’s sewing kit. She’d rinsed out her underwear before she went to bed, then had lain awake, listening to Sunny’s breathing. Listening to Jax in the next room talking to someone on the phone. Trying to convince herself she wasn’t making a monumental mistake.
She had a family back in Oklahoma. She could never be one of those independent women who didn’t need her family. And whether or not her family realized it, they needed her, too.
Back and forth, back and forth, go or stay…
When morning finally came, nothing had changed. She was still feeling wary, vulnerable—afraid to go forward, afraid to go back. Most of all, afraid she was falling deeper in love with every passing day.
Her underwear was still damp, but she put it on, anyway. Whether she liked it or not—and she didn’t—she was going to need another loan. She could call it an advance on her salary, only they’d never got around to discussing the terms, much less the duration, of her employment.
Among several recent changes in her life, one stood out in stark relief—gone was the thirst for travel and adventure that had first driven her to jump at the chance to fly to Miami and board a cruise ship. Totally evaporated.
Unfortunately the dream that had crept in like a thief in the night to take its place involved a husband and a baby. Maybe two babies. His and hers. Theirs.
Which was hardly a realistic dream for a woman of Hetty’s age, but then, that was the nice thing about dreams. They didn’t have to be realistic. Before she’d even learned how to dream, she’d had her once-in-a-lifetime fairy-tale romance. Gus had come along like a knight in shining armor at a time when she’d been in desperate need of rescuing. She’d been too embarrassed to ask for help, but somehow Gus had known.
Over coffee, she said, “Jax, as far as I know, my luggage is somewhere between Oklahoma and Florida. I’m going to need—”
“All taken care of.” With the smug expression of a cat in a creamery he told her he’d put a tracer on her baggage and that meanwhile, his secretary would be there within the hour, bringing a selection of clothes for Hetty to choose from so that she would have something to wear while she shopped for whatever else she needed.
Hetty slammed her cup down. “Darn it, don’t do this to me!”
“What, you want to go shopping in sandals and that floppy thing you’re wearing now? It’s about thirty-four degrees Fahrenheit outside and windy.”
He had a point. Her clothes, while they might be fine for a Caribbean cruise, were hardly suited for a January rain. She spun around and glared out at the gray drizzle coming down outside. “This is just not working.”
“It’s working fine. Climb down off your high horse and listen for a minute, will you? Lina will—”
“You paid for my ticket. You—”
“You looked after my daughter.”
“You bought me food, you bought me—”
“That’s where you’re mistaken. I offered to trade what you need for what I need. It’s called the barter system. It’s a recognized and respectable custom all over the world.”
“Yes, well…but—”
“I’m listening.” He crossed his arms over his chest. His jaw had that clean-shaven, early-morning look, even though he was still wearing the same rumpled shirt and baggy-kneed flannels he’d worn since day one.
It made her feel marginally better that he hadn’t raced home last night to shower and change. Misery liked company. “I hate being in debt. My—that is, someone ran up a huge bill on my credit card once, and I had to pay for it.”
“If you’d reported it immediately, you’d have been responsible for only about fifty bucks.”
“Yes, but Jeannie might have—”
She clammed up, but not before he got the picture. Evidently that stepdaughter of hers was a real piece of work. “Believe me, Hetty, you’ll earn every penny I pay you. Now, here’s what I’ve got planned for today. First, I’ll need to run by my apartment to collect clothes and mail.”
He’d already collected his messages. He’d still been on the phone when she’d fallen asleep last night.
“Give me—say, two hours. Meanwhile, Lina will bring over a raincoat and a pair of sensible shoes—size eight, narrow, right?”
“You looked!”
“So sue me.” His grin was wickedly attractive. “I’ll be back in time to watch Sunny while you two go shopping. After that I have in mind leaving you here while I start negotiating for a house. Once that’s in the works, I’ll get started on hiring staff.”
He peered at her closed face, looking for some clue that she was going to be reasonable. “The thing is, all this takes time, and I’m in the middle of a big case right now, with several smaller ones coming to a head. In other words, I’m going to be tied up for the next few weeks, and I need someone I can trust to look after my daughter.”
She flung out her hands. “Jackson, that’s just it! I’m a stranger, someone you picked up in an airport. How can you trust me not to—to—”
“You can’t even think of an appropriate crime, can you? How about kidnapping Sunny and holding her for ransom?”
“Be serious.”
“I am serious. I trust you. Maybe not right at first, because you looked like a—”
“Like a fool, dressed for a Caribbean cruise in the middle of a blizzard.”
“Because you looked like a fashion model. Beautiful, but without the vacant stare.” He narrowed his eyes. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”
“You thought I was beautiful? But I’m not. I never have been.”
“I didn’t say you were pretty. There’s a difference between being pretty and being beautiful, and don’t ask me what it is because I can’t explain it. The important thing is, I got to know you and I learned to trust you, and dammit, Hetty, I need you!”
They’d left it at that. The day had gone precisely as he’d arranged it. And as tired as she was, it felt good to know she could change from the skin out into clean clothes and still have a spare in case Sunny spit up on her.
“That’s right, sugar-britches, Daa-daa. Maa-maa.”
Sunny stared up at her, her huge, dark blue eyes unfocused as she tried to interpret whatever message this odd creature was attempting to impart.
“Never mind, Daddy can learn to answer to “Goo-umble-umm.”
They had practiced sitting up. Sunny was wobbly, but she was ready. She’d already mastered the art of scooting across the floor on one knee, both hands and her bottom. There’d be no holding her back after this.
Later, while Sunny napped, Hetty took the opportunity to soak in a tubful of hot water, reading a chapter of the paperback novel Lina had recommended. It was a luxury she’d seldom had the opportunity to indulge in back in Minco, thanks to a lack of time and an elderly, inefficient hot water heater.
Sighing, she laid the book aside and closed her eyes. Every bone and muscle in her body ached, whether from all the shopping she’d done today or sleeping on a strange bed last night or from simply an accumulation of those plus sleeping on a hard airport floor in Chicago.
Old bones. She’d heard the phrase more than once. Now she knew firsthand what it meant.
Lina had been surprised—disappointed, Hetty suspected—when she’d insisted on going to a discount department store and buying the basics—two pairs of jeans, one dark knit skirt, three tops, an all-weather coat that made up in practicality what it lacked in beauty. Sh
e’d splurged on a three-day supply of plain cotton underwear and the necessary toiletries, and then headed for the infant department.
“Hold on, you’re going to need at least two nightgowns, and what about a bathrobe?” the older woman had reminded her.
“I’ll sleep in a T-shirt. As for a bathrobe, the hotel provides a lovely one.”
“Huh! Well, at least get yourself two pairs of good shoes and some slippers.”
“One pair of shoes, no slippers.”
“You don’t know who’s walked on those hotel carpets before. They don’t shampoo them between guests, you know.”
“So I’ll wear socks if I get up in the night.”
“You’ll get up all right, unless babies have changed since mine were that age. I don’t understand you, Henrietta, I just don’t. Jax is paying. He’s going to blame me for bringing you here.”
“How long have you worked for him?”
“Ever since he first set up office. He’s two years younger than my oldest boy, but we took to each other right off.”
Hetty would have placed the secretary’s age in the midfifties. She revised it a few years upward. A large woman with a nice sense of style, Lina’s gray hair was cut in a sassy young wedge that was both daring and flattering. Hetty had been so proud of her own new haircut. Compared to Lina’s, it was small-town dowdy.
But then, so was she.
“I only met him a few days ago,” she confessed. “I guess he told you about how we met and how I came to be here.” She refused to sail under false colors. Lina had been hinting all morning at a relationship that simply didn’t exist. Nor was it ever likely to. “I’m only temporary, until he can find someone better. We have this barter thing going, so you see, I won’t be here long enough to earn more than the basics. Besides, Jax said he’d put a tracer on my baggage. Once that comes…”
Once that came, if it ever did, she’d have several pairs of summer pants, several tropical-print tops, one long skirt, plus shorts, camp shirts, bathing suits and the usual accessories.
At the infant-and-children’s section, Hetty insisted on buying several outfits for Sunny. When she’d discovered how little the child had, she’d asked Jax about it. He’d shrugged and said, “Carolyn said she outgrew things so fast there was no point in sending her old things, that I’d probably need to buy everything new in a larger size.”
Hetty knew for a fact that babies could outgrow things almost overnight. All the same, she was beginning to believe Sunny had been sorely neglected, in more ways than one. She was almost too undemanding.
She added a snowsuit in a larger size to the growing pile. “He won’t mind, will he?” she asked Lina as the two women stacked their purchases on the checkout counter.
“Lord, no. He’s generous to a fault, but he’s got a lot to learn when it comes to taking care of a baby.” She took out a platinum card and watched like a hawk as the purchases were rung up. “Women, too. I probably shouldn’t be telling you this, and if it was about his work, you couldn’t pry my jaws apart, but you might as well know that when it comes to women, that boy doesn’t have a speck of judgment. He won’t talk about his family—I’m not sure he even has one, but if he had no more brains than to get involved with the kind of woman who would give her baby away just so she could go traipsing off around the world, then the good Lord help him. If you ask me, she probably spent every cent she had on her own back. Babies aren’t cheap, you know. In my day we washed diapers and used them until they wore out, then used them as dust rags. All my babies ate regular food, strained and mashed in my own kitchen, not all this special stuff.”
At least there was nothing wrong with Sunny’s appetite. Hetty had stocked up on Robert’s favorite foods, and Sunny had yet to refuse anything. “Tomorrow we’ll go shopping for a stroller and a playpen, sugar-bun,” Hetty promised now, burying her face in Sunny’s warm, plump belly just to hear her gurgling laughter.
She was still smiling when she heard Jax let himself into the suite. He’d left as soon as she and Lina had returned from their shopping spree. Since then she hadn’t heard a word from him. In spite of all her common-sense resolutions, there was nothing she could do about the sudden leap of her heart.
Jax let himself inside the room quietly in case Sunny was sleeping. Since he’d left that morning, he had packed enough clothes for several days, dealt with the mail and the latest batch of phone messages at his apartment. They’d all been of a personal nature, including one from the woman he was currently seeing, reminding him of the birthday dinner he’d promised her.
He’d clean forgotten it.
Next, he’d met with a real estate agent to spell out his requirements, talked at length to a representative of the shipping firm that owned the vessel involved in the October oil spill, to the Coast Guard exec in charge of the cleanup and to someone from the governmental Oil Spill Liability Trust Fund.
He’d dealt with two minor cases, taped responses to several letters for Lina to transcribe and gone shopping for a birthday gift suitable for a woman with whom he’d shared a lackadaisical six-month affair.
While he was at the jeweler’s, he’d impulsively selected a sterling silver mug and had it engraved, “To Sunny from Daddy, with love.”
“Hi, is she asleep?” he whispered, closing the door silently behind him.
“I just put her down again. She’s still making noises. I think she’s practicing to surprise you with her vocabulary.”
“What vocabulary? I haven’t heard anything that sounded like words yet.”
“That’s because you don’t know what to listen for.”
Jax tried not to stare at the tall, elegant creature with the cheekbones and the big, rain-colored eyes. She was wearing the same old terry cloth robe. On her it looked sexy as the devil.
Which just went to show that he’d pushed the limits today, after a night in which he hadn’t slept more than a few hours.
He dropped his briefcase on the French Provincial desk and crossed to the miniature bar. “Drink?”
“I made coffee.”
“I need something stronger. Have you eaten yet?”
“No, I—”
“I’ll order. I skipped lunch. What do you feel like tonight, steak? Seafood?”
What she felt like was something homey, like stewed chicken and biscuits, something that didn’t make her feel so much like an imposter. Which was ironic for someone who, if things had worked out, would have been dining on the high seas tonight on such exotic fare as lobster and caviar.
She said, “Maybe chicken again.”
It was the strangest thing. Hetty couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but something was different. Tonight they sat across the table, dining together on a room-service dinner, neither of them listening to the all-news station Jax had turned on when he’d first come in.
They’d done more or less the same thing last night, but then they’d both been exhausted, travel-stained and worried.
Tonight was different. It could have been the hot bath, or the sip or two of wine—she hated to waste anything that cost so much. Whatever the cause, for reasons she couldn’t begin to understand, Hetty was acutely aware of her body in a way she hadn’t been since the early days of her marriage.
“Did you find everything you needed today?” He broke off half a roll and topped it with butter.
“Mercy, more than enough. Wait’ll you see the bills.”
“Have some more wine.”
“No, thank you. I thought about getting a stroller and a playpen, but decided I’d better ask you first.”
Jax topped off her wineglass, which had hardly been touched, then watched as she sipped it. She tilted her head as if surprised, then sipped again. “You know, it’s not at all bad once you get used to it. The only other wine I’ve ever tasted was sickly sweet.”
“Buy whatever you need. Lina can tell you where I have accounts.”
“I spent an enormous amount today, I hope you don’t mind. And you need to know
in case you ever have to buy diapers again that they come in two different styles. Girls and boys.”
“You’re kidding.” He said it flatly, replacing the wine bottle in the cooler. “Pink and blue, you mean?”
“Well, there’s that, but it’s—they’re padded in different places. You see—well, I don’t know how much you know about anatomy,” she said, and then slapped a hand over her face.
“About as much as the average forty-year-old, I guess,” he said blandly.
“What I meant was—oh, for heaven’s sake, just buy the pink ones!”
Then he was laughing, and Hetty was, too, and she blamed it on the wine and on the hot bath and on the romance she’d been reading. Blamed it on everything except the truth.
That she was wildly attracted to the man, and seeing him again and again under the most intimate circumstances made it almost impossible to keep her imagination in check.
“Okay, pink diapers, stroller, playpen—whatever she needs. Did you get yourself some pretty things? A warm coat and a pair of boots, I hope.”
“I got everything I need, and thank you very much. Did you have any luck finding a house? Because you must know this place is costing you an arm and a leg, and if you’ve already got an apartment in town, then you could move us into something smaller and cheaper and then you can—”
“Hetty.”
She broke off. “What?”
“You’re chattering.”
He was staring at her. He’d been staring at her for several minutes. It was making her nervous, because she was trying so hard not to stare at him.
The man was devastating. So what if his features were just short of perfection, the sum total was every bit as intoxicating as the wine she was drinking on practically an empty stomach.
“You didn’t eat your chicken.”
“I wasn’t as hungry as I thought.”
“Is that what’s making you so edgy?”
She was tempted to tell him the truth. Scrambling for a reasonable excuse, she said, “New shoes.”
A Bride for Jackson Powers (Desire, 1273) Page 8