by Amy Boyles
I arched a brow.
She swatted the air. “One day you’ll understand. Anyway, I ate the egg salad and then decided to play a little poker.”
“Poker?” I said.
“Yeah. Sometimes I get together with a few ladies after bingo for poker. If we all lose at bingo, you can bet poker’s on. One of us likes to win something at least once a week. Anyway, I went home after the poker. At first I didn’t notice anything.”
She took another bite of the cookie. “You know, Polly can be quiet sometimes. But when I went to bed and said good night, that’s when I realized he was gone.” Her gaze flashed to Roman. “And you can stop drumming your fingers like you’re bored.”
Roman stopped. “Sorry. I was only listening.”
“Listen quieter,” she said.
He inhaled a breath so deep I heard his chest inflate. “So any windows open? Anything out of the ordinary?”
Milly took the last bite of the cookie and swiped a hand over her mouth. “Sera, did you bring milk?”
My sister, who was pretending to be very interested in a silk blouse, glanced over. “No. They’re meant to go with coffee.”
“Oh,” Milly said, sounding disappointed. She turned her attention back to Roman. “No windows were open. No doors were unlocked. Everything in my house was exactly as it should have been.”
“Except Polly Parrot was missing,” I said.
“Except that,” she agreed. She rose. Her joints popped and snapped as she straightened as far as her hunchback would allow. “So. Will you take the case?”
I glanced at Roman. His jaw flexed. I sensed he thought this was a wild-goose chase. He wouldn’t want to tick off Milly, who could be mean when she wanted to be, though mostly she was nice.
Still, she was a powerful witch. If Polly was gone and he did in fact know secrets that would set the world on fire or make the universe implode, then, well, we probably needed to take the case.
As if on cue, Roman extended his hand. “We’d love to take it. We’ll come out this afternoon and investigate.”
“Polly’s not at the house,” Milly said.
Roman closed his eyes. “For clues. We want to check for clues.”
Milly caned away. “If you must. See you then.”
Sera waved one perfectly slender arm. “I escorted Milly,” she said as if that explained why she was now leaving with our ornery grandmother.
“Thanks for stopping by,” I called.
She shot me a thumbs-up. “It looks great. Keep it up.”
As soon as they were gone, I collapsed into the chair. “Really? Polly Parrot is missing? And you want to investigate?”
Roman rose. “Darlin’, you’re the one who wanted to help witches.”
I had to flex my mouth muscles to stop myself from screaming. “To solve their problems. Help them with mysteries. Not find Polly Parrot.”
“I’m just living your dream. Living your dream.”
I folded my arms like a five-year-old who didn’t get the Shopkins toy they wanted for Christmas. “I thought you wanted this, too.”
He raked his fingers through his hair and studied me with cold eyes. “I do want this. Listen, I’m not going to get poked and prodded into a fight.” He padded his pocket. “I’ve got my keys. You coming to investigate our first case that you don’t want? You can be choosy, but choosy doesn’t pay the bills, darlin’. Jobs and money do.”
Well, when he put it that way…I launched myself from the chair, snatched my purse from a table and slung it over my shoulder.
“Let’s roll,” I said.
I called Reid and asked her to watch the store while we were out. She arrived carrying a wad of clothing for me.
Her jaw dropped when she saw me. “Hey, I thought you needed this stuff.”
I winked at her. “Milly showed up. Thanks for bringing it anyway.”
“I had to poke through your underwear drawer,” she whined as if that explained some sort of harsh treatment she’d received.
“Did they attack?” I said.
She paused, taking a moment to twist her burgundy curls into a bun that she released, allowing the tendrils to fall down her neck. “No, they didn’t attack.”
I patted her shoulder as I passed her. “Then consider yourself lucky.”
We arrived at Milly’s a few minutes later. Her ancient Caprice Classic sat in the driveway. I’d wondered if she’d actually driven it to my shop because I’d never seen her behind the wheel, but the ticking engine proved she could cruise with the rest of the aging community in Silver Springs.
She answered the door in a white bathrobe and bunny slippers. “Come in. I was just getting ready to take my bath.”
“At eleven o’clock in the morning?” I said.
“What’s it to you when I bathe?”
I raised my palms in surrender. “It’s not.”
Roman stepped in front of me as if to suggest I stop agitating my grandmother. He pointed to a person-sized golden bird cage. “That’s Polly’s, right?”
“That’s the one. Now I’ll be upstairs if anyone needs me.”
She disappeared up the stairs, huffing and puffing the whole way. Roman crossed to the cage. He pulled out a flashlight and washed it up and down.
“There aren’t any signs it was tampered with,” he murmured. He crossed to the windows and pulled on them. “They’re all locked. Like she said. Hmm. I’m going outside to see if any of them were tampered with.”
“I’ll come, too.” Because let’s face it, I wanted a detective agency, but I had absolutely no idea what the heck I was doing. That was Roman’s job. My job, as I saw it, was to offer eternal optimism in the form of smiles, nods and loads of encouragement.
I followed him outside. The sun was bright enough that he didn’t need the light. He glanced up and down the sills. “I don’t see that these were tampered with.”
I swiped a line of sweat from my forehead and rubbed it on my capris. I know, I should’ve been wearing more professional clothing, but it was hot, y’all, and I didn’t feel like putting on jeans. I needed breathable cotton.
Something akin to a small poker pinched my leg. “Ouch.” I leaned over and brushed a nasty little fire ant from my skin. “Jerk.” I squished him between my fingers and felt a certain amount of satisfaction that can only be gained from destroying an enemy the size of an insect.
Another fiery spot lighted on my opposite ankle. “Ouch!” I twisted to look, and sure enough, another little monster had dug its nasty little mandibles into my flesh.
“Get off me,” I said, brushing it away. Then another spot flared on my knee. “What in holy heck is going on?”
I flicked it off and then turned to see exactly what was going on. A tiny army of ants were charging at me from an undisclosed location. They poured from the ground, scurrying full force toward me.
I curled my fingers into Roman’s shirt. “We’ve got to go.”
His gaze landed on the tangle of ants. “Come on.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me to the side.
That’s when we stumbled into a wall of ants. Like, I’m not even joking. Ants were piled atop other ants, their bodies woven together like some sort of chitin sweater. And I had the feeling the ants were there because of us.
I stood frozen, realizing that we were being attacked by freaking ants while Roman gingerly stepped over the wall of—yes, ants.
He extended his hand. “Take it.”
I reached for him, but while I was doing that, the wall grew at an incredible pace. Nothing human could do that. Of course they weren’t human; they were ants. Magic had to be involved.
I glanced around to make sure no one was watching, and I sent a trickle of power into the wall, just enough to break the ants apart. The magic splashed across their bodies like a water balloon. But it didn’t stop the ants. Instead it only made them work faster.
“Dylan, come on,” Roman said, “or you’ll be trapped in there.”
I turned right. Another wall, about knee-high,
was forming. I turned in the other direction, and yet another barrier greeted me like an evil gift. You know, like it was Christmas and instead of receiving a happy dolly, you got some sort of evil clown doll like the one that attacked the kids in the film Poltergeist.
Yeah, that’s exactly what it felt like I was facing.
So while I stood paralyzed by fear, Roman trotted over, grabbed me by the waist and yanked me over the chamber of ants.
He pulled me to his chest. “You okay?”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
He yanked me back to the front of the house. “Why the heck did you just stand there?”
I shook my head. “I didn’t. I tried to get them to stop.”
His jaw flexed hard like concrete as he shook his head. When he glanced at me, his eyes reflected steely flints of anger. “You could’ve gotten hurt.”
“I was trying to stop it,” I argued. “I don’t know who the heck did that, but they’ve got some questions to answer.”
“I did that.”
I groaned. I knew that voice. Knew it all too well, and as much as I loved the wavering timbre of it as well as the silliness that it sometimes offered, merely hearing it made me wince.
My gaze drifted to the porch where my grandmother Hazel stood in a gauzy white cardigan with flowing white pants and shirt. An orange handkerchief was wrapped around her neck, and her silvery-white hair was combed up on the sides, creating a tidal wave on top.
I threw my hands in the air. “Why did you do that? Were you trying to kill me?”
Her head bobbed from side to side. “You were trying to break into Milly’s house. I was only protecting her.”
“We weren’t breaking in,” I said. “She had a robbery and we’re investigating. Didn’t you realize it was us?” I pointed to Roman. “You know what we look like. You raised me.”
Grandma fluttered her eyelashes as if she couldn’t be bothered. “No, I didn’t recognize you.”
“Then you need glasses,” I said, huffing up the stairs. “What are you doing here anyway?”
She poked the air. “Dylan, it has come to my attention that Polly Parrot and the secrets of the universe have gone missing. I’m here to help find him and establish balance back to the universe.”
I shot Roman a help-me look. “So are we,” he said.
“Well then,” she said with authority, “let me call off my ant army. After all, we don’t want them getting into the house. They can, you know. Nasty little creatures, creating trails while they look for food and water.”
Roman squinted. “Milly said her entire house was locked up at the time that Polly was taken. You have any ideas how someone could’ve gotten in with all the spells she uses to protect it?”
Grandma smiled. She leaned over and pressed a finger against one of the columns on the front porch. I watched as a tiny black ant flowed onto her skin. “I do indeed have an idea. No human could’ve gotten in, but if you were this small and there were a lot of you, a witch could manage to enter and steal an entire house.”
I rolled my eyes. “An entire house? I know you’re joking.”
Grandma shook her head. “I’m not.” She eyed the ant with a sparkle in her gaze that made my chest constrict. Oh no. We were not going insect hunting. My grandmother couldn’t read my mind, and even if she could, I knew she wouldn’t care what I thought.
“My dears, I think you’ve just found your first lead.”
I glanced at Roman, who scrubbed a hand down his face.
“An ant?” I said.
Grandma smiled. “Tiny enough to break in and tiny enough to break out.”
THREE
“Yep,” Roman said, holding a magnifying glass to the floor inside Milly’s house, “those little specks are broken ant bodies.” He stretched his legs, rising to full height. “And from the look of it, an entire army was sent in.”
I wanted to throttle somebody. Maybe my grandmother. Maybe Milly. I didn’t know who, but seriously, ants? How the heck were we supposed to track down an ant wizard or witch or whatever?
I licked a coat of outside dust from my lips. “So where does that leave us? Who knows how to herd insects well enough to have them steal?”
Roman grazed his knuckles down his jaw. “I know witches who are great at potions and elemental magic, but I’ve never encountered one who used insects for crime.”
Milly thumbed her nose. “May be a new type of criminal element we’re dealing with.”
I did not like the sound of that. “If we don’t know what we’re dealing with, how do we find the witch?”
Grandma poked the air. “Reggie. Reggie will know.”
I paused. She was right. Reggie might know. Reggie was short for Registry. He was in fact a talking book that tallied and categorized witches. All witches. Well, most witches. Some witches could escape his scope of vision, but if they were legitimate and registered in the main witch database, Reggie knew who they were.
And he could help us, which was most important.
Milly pointed her cane in the air. Magic whirled and contracted, reminding me of a tornado of power. Or a galaxy. Yeah, the more I stared at the dots and swirls, the more it looked like the Milky Way instead of a spring tornado.
But both were cool, y’all.
Except tornadoes that ripped through towns and destroyed them, obviously. That wasn’t cool at all.
A loud crack burst from the center of the whirlwind. The magic vanished, and a large tome plopped to the ground.
“If I’d have known I was going to be beaten up today, I would’ve worn extra padding,” said the rich voice that was a ringer for James Earl Jones.
“Sorry, Reggie,” I said.
Reggie tipped face up and floated into the air. “Hello, Apel and Bane families. How wonderful it is to see you again. I’ve been sleeping for what feels like an eternity, though since all of you are still alive, I’m going to assume that it wasn’t.”
“It’s not,” I said. “Reggie, we need your help.”
“I am here to serve. Though sometimes I think that means I’m here to serve you food—hot dogs and French fries specifically. I don’t know why that’s the meal that always pops into my head when I say that. I’ve never tasted either as I don’t have a mouth, but I digress.”
“Reggie,” Roman said, “we need to know if any witch or wizard in your database has the capacity to speak to insects. Use them to do their bidding.”
“Hazel Horton,” Reggie said without hesitating.
My mouth fell open as a sound of disbelief shot from my throat. “I’m so stupid. Of course you can wield insects. You just had them try to eat me.” I glanced at Roman. “Do you realize this whole thing’s been a setup?”
“Dylan,” Grandma started to say.
I raised my hand to cut her off. “The two of you plotted this whole thing out. You,” I said to Grandma, “stole Polly, who’s probably locked in a closet somewhere, while you,” I aimed my ire at Milly, “strolled into my office pretending that this whole thing was a mystery, when it was the two of you collaborating the entire time.”
Milly opened her mouth, and I shut her down with lightning speed. “Neither of you believe I can do this. You don’t think I can run a successful investigation firm, so you thought you’d just throw me a bone, is that it?”
“This is my company too,” Roman said.
I shook my head. “But it’s me they’re screwing with. It’s always me.”
I fisted my hands to my hips, and I’m pretty sure red flames bolted from my ears. “What in the world do the two of y’all have to say for yourselves?”
Milly shook her head. “What Hazel’s trying to say is that this isn’t a hoax. Polly was stolen, and she didn’t do it, kid. So why don’t you calm down the temper tantrum and listen to see if Reggie has another player we can turn up the heat on.”
I was left speechless with a knot the size of an orange lodged in the back of my throat. “You didn’t plan this?” I whispered.
; “No,” they both shouted.
“Okay,” I whimpered.
Roman crossed to me and took my hand. “Reggie, who else have you got?”
The book opened. The binding crackled as the pages flipped left and right. The woody smell of paper filled the room. I inhaled deeply. I loved the smell of books. There was nothing like digging my nose into a brand-new book and inhaling deeply.
I wished someone would bottle the scent or turn it into a candle. They could call it Library. I would buy that.
Reggie hummed as the pages curled. “There are so many new witches and wizards. This sort of thing can take time.”
“There’s no rush,” Roman said.
Reggie continued his tune. “There are a few witches, but none of them seem to have any real bearing.”
“Give us the names if you would,” Roman said.
“The first one is a Jordan Johnson out of Anchorage, Alaska.”
“Mmm,” Roman said.
Reggie flipped a few more pages. “A stretch, like I told you. The next one is a Kyle Carpenter. Now he lives closer. Resides in Mississippi. Been living in the swamp out there. Sort of a hermit. Had a big run-in with the witch police several years ago and retreated from society after that.”
“He’s an option,” Roman said.
“And the last one. Mmm. The powers are there, though I’m not sure if it’s a secret or not.”
I tapped my foot. Would he just hurry it up? “Who is it?”
“Now this one may strike you as a bit of a surprise, but the powers are confirmed. I can’t tell you how, but if it’s in my book, then it’s true.”
“Okay, well, who is it?” I repeated.
“The last witch in the registry who has the power to wield insects to her bidding…is one Reid Apel.”
I dropped Roman’s hand. “Reggie, you can’t be right. Reid doesn’t have that sort of power. She knits like a crazy woman. She can create an afghan the size of Texas. She can’t control insects.”
Reggie’s cover snapped shut. “The information I have is true. If it’s recorded in my registry, then it’s fact. Reid Apel has the ability to command insects. My suggestion would be to stop harassing me and start investigating her.”