by Mysti Parker
Dishes clinking and people talking get louder as I descend the stairs. The noise makes me smile. I’m used to it, having grown up thinking that was what I’d end up with – the comforting chaos of a big, busy family. Mom’s cooking breakfast. My sisters are setting the table.
I enter the kitchen, where Adam has just emerged, all sleepy-eyed from the basement.
“Morning, Ave. Sleep well?” He gives me a bear hug.
“Easy, there, tough guy.” I laugh and catch my breath. Sometimes he forgets that he’s nineteen and not nine.
“Sorry.”
I look around the dining area. Everyone’s there but Jack.
Mom comes over and pats my cheek. “He left about an hour ago.”
“L-left?”
She laughs. “Well, not for good, I hope. He said he’ll be back.”
I’m not so sure about that. And then there’s a knock at the door.
The kids all run toward it, with Allison chasing behind them. “Don’t open the door until you know who it is! Amanda Anne, what did I just tell you?”
Amanda does it anyway. But it’s no stranger. It’s Jack. He did come back. My jaw trembles. God, is this what I’ll be like the whole nine months - crying over every damn thing?
“Someone missed you all.” He’s holding Huff, who’s wiggling and whining so much, he’s about to jump out of Jack’s arms. Jack bends down and deposits Huff on the floor.
The kids all drop to their knees, giggling and squealing while Huff does his best to lick their faces off, his furry tail wagging furiously.
Puff saunters into the room. The two dogs exchange sniffs and a couple of licks, then race off to bury their faces in their food bowls as though nothing ever happened.
I smile at Jack, and he smiles back. But that’s not good enough. I throw my arms around him and hug him tight. “Thank you, Jack.”
“Hey,” Mom says. “Don’t hog him. Come here.”
I step back as she comes in and hugs him.
“Group hug!” the kids yell, surrounding him and Mom. My sisters and brother join in.
I stand nearby with Dad and laugh. He’s actually smiling and nodding.
“He’s not too bad, is he?” I say, nudging him.
“Nope, not too bad at all.”
∞∞∞
After breakfast, I ask Jack to come out to the porch with me. We stand at the white wrought-iron railing, watching a sudden downpour of rain. The kids fly out the door and frolic in it. Smiling, I try to gather the courage to say what needs to be said. Whatever happens, I know I’ll be okay. I won’t have to raise this baby alone. I have a whole tribe who’ll make sure this baby is loved and cared for.
A few deep breaths later, and wouldn’t you know it? My mouth totally betrays me.
I grab his hands. “Marry me.”
He laughs. “Uh, aren’t we already?”
“No, I meant for real.”
He looks away for a moment. “Avery…”
“I know it’s crazy, and not at all what we planned, but…” And then I blurt out, “I love you. There. I said it. It’s out in the open. I can’t take it back. And maybe you don’t feel the same yet, but I know you care about me. I just don’t want this to end. The kids – they love their Uncle Jack already. My sisters, my mom, hell, even my dad likes you. I know this is all new to you, but –”
He holds up his hand. “Avery, I can’t.”
“Why? What’s stopping you?”
“I’m not what you need.”
“I’ll decide what I need, and what I need is you.”
Jack laughs sarcastically. “So what happens when we’re ten years and four kids into it, and an old girlfriend starts sending me naked pics, and I don’t tell her to stop?”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about reality, Avery. This”—he gestures around us—“even this isn’t perfect. We all have shitty sides and secrets. Even your parents.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Never mind that. I just don’t want to hurt you, Avery, when we’re so far in that there are even more lives to shatter.”
“Jack, you are not your parents. Sure, you’ve slept around. But you’re not a bad person. You make mistakes. I do too. But that doesn’t mean we can’t weather the storms together.”
“Avery, I –” His phone rings.
He growls and steps to the end of the porch, putting the phone to his ear, holding up his finger to me. I pinch my lips together and hug myself to keep my emotions contained. I can only see the side of his face, but his expression grows tighter, angrier.
Adam comes outside, pauses for a moment as though he was going to talk to us, but then he gives me a nod as though he realizes we’re not in the talking mood. He goes out to join the kids.
“T-Rex is coming!” he yells. They all scream, and he chases them around the back of the house.
Jack raises his voice. “What the fuck? It’s not my –” He presses a hand to his forehead. “Damn it, Jesse, just calm down. I’ll find her. I’ll call the police and the pawnshops, okay?”
He crams the phone back in his pocket and scrubs a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry. I have to go.”
Then he breezes past me, but I grab his arm. “Wait. What happened?”
“Lori stole Pa’s checkbook, his pain meds, and knife collection. Emmalee had left him there with Lori to pick up his groceries, and while he was asleep, Lori robbed him blind, just like I was afraid she would. Emmalee called Jesse, who’s on his way back from his honeymoon, and now he’s mad as hell at me, and I guess he has every right to be. Do you even understand what kind of shithole I come from? This is exactly why I can’t be what you want me to be.”
“No, Jack, you’re not like her.”
His laugh is edged with sarcasm. “Whatever. Look, I can’t deal with this now. I’m going to try to track down Lori before she disappears again.”
He shrugs me off and rushes down the steps.
“Jack, please, just let me go with you. We can find her together.”
“Not now, Avery. Can’t you get it through your head that I’m not your prince charming?”
A few seconds later, his tires are throwing gravel and mud as they spin and finally get traction. His car speeds down the driveway as the rain stops and the sun peeks through the clouds.
“Avery?” Adam says, startling me with a gentle touch on the shoulder.
“He’s not coming back.”
“How do you know?”
“Because…we’re not really married, and he thinks he can’t make me happy.”
His eyes widen for a moment. “Oh, um, wow.” Then he takes my hand. “Well…can he make you happy?”
“Yes.” I turn to him, unable to stop the freaking tears from falling. “I love him, Adam. And I know he loves me. He’s just afraid of hurting me.”
“Napoleon once said, ‘The truest wisdom is a resolute determination.’”
“What the hell, Adam? English?”
“It means”—he takes his car keys from his pocket and puts them in my hand—“get your ass in that car, and go after your man.”
Chapter Eighteen
Jack
I knew it. As soon as I let Lori back into our lives, I knew she’d fuck us over again. I wanted to trust her. I had this fragment of hope that somehow, someway, we might actually have a relationship with our mother. Stupid on my part.
Seeing Avery with her close-knit family blinded me to reality. The reality is that families are broken more often than not. Why set myself up for failure?
Forcing my attention back on the road, I step on the clutch, shove the gear stick into fourth. A brief glance at the speedometer shows I’m doing sixty-eight on a fifty-five road. I tighten my grip on the wheel. The Elan handles well, even on the wet, narrow country highways. New tires grip the road like they’re on rails.
There’s only two places Lori would have gone with Pa’s checkbook – the pawnshop or that part of town
coined The Pharmacy, a half-mile patch of run-down shacks known to house every kind of addict imaginable. Jesse’s been called out there on numerous occasions to break up one domestic dispute after another. I can’t help but worry that some meth head will ambush him.
Lori had a lot of “friends” down there at one time. Which made sense, seeing as that’s where we lived before Dad died. Jesse’s going to kill me for letting her rob Pa while I’m out here pretending to be something I’m not.
I pound the dash with my fist as though I can change the fact with brute force.
She wants me for real, but I’m not cut out for this. We have a long family history of bad husbands and fathers. It would only be a matter of time before I ruined her life and the lives of any kids we might have – just like Dr. Bradshaw.
But no, I had to go and fuck things up, following along with her far-fetched plan just so I could screw her like a sex-crazed idiot. I’ve hurt her already, and I have to stop before it’s irreparable. I should just keep driving, straight out of this county, out of this state, hell, maybe even out of this country. Why didn’t I do that in the first place?
I hated my childhood. Hated my parents. Hated my brother. I went to vet school out of state, and I could have stayed there. I could have started a whole new life with new people and new places. But I didn’t. I came back here and spread my roots, as fragile as they might be.
Could it be that what I want is here after all?
Shifting into sixth gear as the speedometer registers seventy-five, I realize what makes this sting worse than a cat scratch to the face. I can’t deny it any longer.
I love her. Like real deal, can’t just cut and run love her.
So why am I out here chasing a woman who doesn’t deserve me?
As I top a roller coaster of a hill, the car breaks free from gravity for a brief moment, as does my stomach, then drops back onto the pavement. That second of exhilaration disappears as a truck lumbers toward me, halfway in my lane. The driver’s bushy gray beard is turned to the opposite side of the road, to whatever’s grabbed his attention.
I swerve to the right, hitting the rumble strips, a hair’s breadth from clipping his rusted bumper. But the pavement is too slick here, the shoulder too deep. The tire slips. It grips the ground, pulls me off the road. I stomp the brake pedal. Tires squeal, but both front tires hit the ground, slinging the car forward. A wall of ragged bark fills the windshield view.
Metal crunches. There’s a shock of pain, a mouthful of smoke, and then…nothing.
∞∞∞
A beautiful voice cuts through the fog, drags me into blurry light. My body is sliding across rough terrain. Rocks, sticks, and God knows what other discarded debris, invades my clothes.
Drag, stop, drag, stop. With every drag comes a loud groan that crescendos into a scream. Something’s pulling me by my armpits. Light filters through smoke that burns my eyes. A face hovers over me, haloed in filtered sunlight. Her teeth are gritted, face contorted with overexertion.
Drag, stop, drag, stop. It’s too much. The light is calling me. And soon I’m drifting toward it as my back hits the ground. Somewhere in the hazy void between light and dark, I hear her calling me.
“Jack! Jack, no.” Her lips are on mine. Air rushes down my throat. There’s a rhythmic pressure on my chest. “No, damn it, don’t you dare leave me!”
It’s Avery’s voice. Her mouth covers mine again, forcing a breath into my lungs. Her hands push down on my sternum with rhythm I know all too well. It’s the same beat as the song “Staying Alive.”
The force from her hands pulls me back into full consciousness. My lungs remember they need air, so I gulp in a huge breath, cough, and then another breath. And another, until my eyes focus on the face leaning above me. Hot liquid drips onto my forehead.
Tears. I reach up and wipe them from her cheek. Smoke rolls across the ground. I lift myself onto my elbows and feel sick to the bone. The Elan is crushed like a tin can against a huge tree. The airbag hangs from the open car door, deflated from fulfilling its one purpose. And we’re off the road on the other side. It has to be a good fifty or sixty feet. I can’t believe she dragged me that far.
“Can you move?”
I look up at her, unsure what to say. Her wet eyes are filled with relief and so much more.
Everything hurts, but I can wiggle my toes and fingers and bend my knees and elbows. The seatbelt and airbag must have done their job, but the CPR?
“Was I…?”
“Yeah, you stopped breathing. Glen made me take first aid classes with him. I never thought I’d need it.” She smiles, tucking some hair behind her ear. “I owed you one, anyway.”
A crackling sound prompts me to struggle past the pain in my ribs and back. I manage to sit up with Avery’s help. There, under the engine bay, yellow flames flicker to life. A split second later, it flashes brighter.
I flip over and hurl myself onto Avery, knocking her to the ground, where I shield her with my body. Fire explodes in a burst of light and intense heat that blows across my back. Debris pelts me, so I hunker closer, hugging her to me. The pain? What pain? All that matters is protecting my wife.
Ring or no ring, she is my wife…and my life.
When the inferno dies down, I lift myself off Avery, half afraid I’ve hurt her. She’s staring up at me, wide-eyed and trembling.
All I can do is smile down at her, brush some dirt from her face. “You don’t owe me anything.”
I kiss her then, not just a simple kiss of gratitude, but one so deep I hope it conveys what words can’t describe. She cups my face in her hands as her lips move along with mine – a gentle dance with an unrestrained sincerity I’ve never felt before. So much deeper than just sex. Might as well face it – Avery has stolen my heart, and I’m more than willing to let her have it.
“Marry me, Avery.”
A smile trembles on her lips. “For real?”
“For real. Forever.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’ve never been surer of anything.” The words finally break through the last of my doubt. “I love you. I love you,” I say again, laughing softly because it comes so easily now. “I want to marry you, to do what it takes to make you happy. I’ll buy you a hundred bridal shops and your own magazine. We’ll start a family and have a dozen kids if that’s what you want.”
She laughs, searching my eyes. “Good, because we’ve already started one.”
“What?” My brain is still wobbling from the wreck, so it takes a moment for it to sink in. “You mean you’re –”
She nods, grinning from ear to ear. “Yes. You’re going to be a dad. An awesome dad.”
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“Because I didn’t want you marrying me just because I’m pregnant. I wanted it to be real. To know that you actually want me in your life.”
“I do.”
“Remember that line. You’re gonna need it.”
∞∞∞
Eight months later…
“What is it? What is it?” Arthur hops up and down like a jackrabbit as I come through the doors from labor and delivery and enter the waiting room, holding my future in my arms.
Amanda and Annabeth both cross their fingers. “Please be a girl, please be a girl.”
We decided to keep the sex of the baby to ourselves until the big day, and that in itself is a miracle, with all the nosy women in the family. I rock the baby, grinning at everyone gathered here.
Pa is leaning on his walker with Emmalee at his side for support. The two of them just got hitched. Go figure. But Pa’s happier than I’ve seen him in a long time. They’ve just come from visiting Lori in the state pen. He goes every couple of weeks, sometimes with Jesse, sometimes with me. I think Pa’s forgiven her. It’s taking me a while.
Jesse and Leigh are here. They decided to be foster parents and have two-year-old Gemma there with them. Her mother is a heroin addict in and out of rehab like Lori. She’s cute as a button.
They want to adopt her.
Lorne and Doris are back in the recovery room with Avery and were the first to meet our firstborn. Andrea and Greg are giddy – they just found out they’re having a baby last week. Allison and Allen have had their fourth one, whom Andrea is holding – a girl named Alicia.
Mr. and Mrs. Gonsalves are here. She can’t wait to babysit our new arrival. Their kids and grandkids live too far away for them to visit often.
Glen and Jeff are here with Starbucks cups in hand. They adopted Quincy and are teaching him to curse in French. At least it sounds nicer that way.
Dr. Bradshaw is even here, with Lisa and their two youngest kids. He has his arm around his wife, and after some intensive counseling sessions with Leigh, things are going well.
How are Avery and I, you ask? Well, we’re about to become sleep-deprived and can’t have sex for a few weeks, so neither of us are looking forward to that. But we have what might be the most adorable baby on the planet, so it’s worth it.
Right beside me, on one of the waiting room tables is a copy of Country Brides & Grooms Magazine. On the front cover is the absolute most beautiful bride you could ever lay eyes on, along with her very handsome (if I do say so myself) husband. You can see the little baby bump under her dress, but we didn’t try to hide it. In fact, I think that helped her win the front page spot in the magazine. The headline right underneath the photo reads: They Saved Each Other. And the subtitle: The Amazing True Story of One Small-town Couple Who Beat the Odds and Lived to Tell About It.
What about that fifty thousand? We donated it to the local drug and alcohol rehab center so they could expand their services. If it can help keep a few families together, then it’s money well spent. I bought Avery’s shop from that jerk-ass landlord of hers, along with several other businesses he was threatening to close. Their rents are very reasonable, of course. Bride Pride now has a franchise in Bardstown, close to My Old Kentucky Home, which happens to be a super popular wedding location.