by Matt Shaw
Richard had explained the fetish scene (60% of his films were in this market) and then all rules were thrown out of the window. The films may start off with a single man getting blown by a girl but - chances are - a second man wouldn’t be far behind. And then it’s all about double penetration, sucking them both off, getting facially covered in hot sperm. These films may have involved outfits of some description, nurses and latex being two of the popular film choices, they may have involved bondage (either the girl tied or the man tied)…It was at that point Richard stopped and summed it all up with, “There’s something for everyone in this market, however weird something may seem - rest assured someone is out there whacking off to it.”
I’d asked him what the strangest film he had ever made had featured. I wasn’t curious to see the darkest of fetishes available but more curious to see what I could, potentially, have been asked to do.
“Some guy lying on his back,” he’d said with a grimace, “whilst two girls took it in turns to shit over him whilst he tugged himself off. You could almost hear me and the camera-guy heaving off shot. Absolutely disgusting. But that is going back a couple of years when that sort of video was all the rage online. Not for me. I think I prefer shooting the more vanilla of porn films, you know?”
By ‘vanilla’ he apparently meant films which didn’t show any hint of fetishism. They were just a couple of regular (model-like) actors and actresses having sex in whatever way they were instructed.
“And that film sold well?” I had asked him referring to the fetish video he’d described.
“You bet. Like I said, something for everyone. Really grim though, the guy..” he had started to laugh, “the guy ejaculated over himself and started wiping it further around his body with the scat. Next thing, and I swear I didn’t ask them to, the girls just started lapping it off him as though it were just chocolate.” He paused. “I don’t think I ate for a week after that.”
The current conversation we were having was more fixated with my name choice. For the sake of my privacy, and avoiding some potential stalkers, he was insisting I went with a made-up name. Even if I didn’t do anything other than this one film, and no stalkers hunted me down, it still meant it would be harder for my mum and dad to discover what I’d become.
“I’m not sure,” I told him. Up until this point I hadn’t given it any consideration whatsoever. It’s not as though my agent had warned me. Maybe he had known the producer would help me out with it? Maybe he wasn’t as concerned with my wellbeing as this man was.
“Well you can keep the first name but it might be an idea to shorten it a bit,” he suggested.
“Vicky?”
“Yeah. And the surname - think Bond girls…”
“I’m sorry?”
“You know - Pussy Galore…The innuendos are great and work in your favour for getting people to remember you. You need something off the wall, something that will stand out and just catch on, you know?” He was watching my on screen performance when he suddenly clicked his fingers as an idea hatched in his head, “Blows. Vicky Blows.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. Not sure whether out of embarrassment. With what was going on, on screen in front of us, and the name - it was a little cringe-worthy. Cringe-worthy but exciting.
“What do you think?” he asked.
“I like it,” it wasn’t as though I had any better suggestions to put forward.
Richard smiled as he scribbled the name on top of the forms he’d just got me to sign. I’m not sure whether it was a necessary procedure or whether he did it so he wouldn't forget.
“And I believe this is yours,” he said, reaching into his jacket pocket and pulling out an envelope. He handed it to me. It wasn’t sealed and I could see a wad of notes contained within. I tried to hide my pleasure at seeing the amount of money. In my mind I’d already spent it on clearing some of the mounting money troubles I was experiencing. Why did I hide the fact I was happy to see the cash? I didn’t want to appear desperate. I didn’t want him thinking I could be purchased for less than the going rate for girls such as myself. He paused a moment as he gave me another once over; a casual glance which made me feel nervous for the first time since being with him.
“What is it?” I asked.
“Your performance was a little,” he hesitated and fell silent a moment.
I squirmed in my chair. He’d been making all the right noises whilst watching the film back and Darren seemed happy enough with my performance.
“We need people to believe you want the sex when they watch the films. You need to project their ideal fantasy woman,” Richard explained.
“And what is their ideal fantasy woman?” It was fair enough him telling me that I needed to project this image of a wanton sex maniac but a few more pointers would have been nice. After all - how do you know what the people are looking for when they tune in? Surely each person would be looking for something different - especially given the wide range of adult videos available.
“Whatever I tell you it is when directing. Whatever the script tells you it is.”
“I’m not sure I understand,” I said - feeling a little foolish.
“The role requires you to act like a nervous school girl? Act like a nervous school girl. Be timid, go with the flow as the male takes the lead. We need you to be dominant? Step it up a gear. Basically the viewer wants you to be whatever the script - for want of a better word - is asking of you.”
“But everyone has different tastes, how do I know I’m getting it right?”
“It’s because everyone has different tastes that you know you’re doing it right. If people pick up the film - it’s because they’re drawn to the style of movie advertised on the sleeve; school girl, nurse, secretary, boss…The list is endless. You just need to become the character we ask you to become. It’s simple.”
“You asked me to suck him off. I sucked him off.”
“You sucked him off as though he were your boyfriend. It’s different to sex in the porn industry. You need to make noises, do more deep throat action - can you even do that? - more eye contact, when catching your breath - talk dirty to him, ask if he likes you wanking his massive manhood…When a camera is rolling never act like it’s a regular partner. Step it up a gear. People don’t want to see boyfriend / girlfriend sex in any pornography they watch. They want to see a stallion going hard at it with a nymphomaniac slut. The Porn Star Experience.”
“You said I did a good job?”
“And you did - your technique obviously worked on the sexual side of things - but your performance needs to be fine tuned.” He paused a moment, “Usually I wouldn’t see a girl such as yourself again, not after a performance like that, but - I don’t know - there’s something about you…I can’t put my finger on it and I’ve been trying since the camera started rolling…There’s something about you which makes me want to give you another shot.”
“What?” my brain was starting to hurt. One minute he was happy with my performance and the next he wasn’t and then he was offering me a shot.
* * * * *
“Oh my God, I’m sorry!” I hurried back over to where Harry was still restrained to the pillar, having checked that the camera was still recording our action (it was). “I’m sorry,” I repeated, “I don’t know what I’m doing…Please…I just haven’t been myself recently. Things have gone a little…I’ve gone a little…crazy.”
He seemed to breathe a sigh of relief, “Look just let me out of here and we’ll forget the whole thing. Okay? We’ll go our separate ways and never speak to each other again.” He seemed relieved.
“Okay. Thank you. Jesus…I just don’t know what came over me. I just…”
“Just let me out. It’s fine.”
“Hang on…” I undid the front zipper on my latex catsuit and revealed a small padlock key hanging from a necklace around my neck. I lifted it over my head and disappeared around the back of the pillar to where the locks were. I fiddled with them for a moment - making them
rattle against the chains and then stopped. I couldn’t keep it up any longer and started to laugh.
“What are you doing?” he asked. “Just let me out.”
I walked back around to the front of the pillar and waved the small key in front of his face, with a smile on my face. Before he had a chance to say anything I threw it across the warehouse floor. It landed somewhere in the corner; immediately lost to plain vision.
“Oops,” I laughed.
“What the fuck are you doing?” he barked.
I smiled at him again and told him, “I’m proving how far my acting has come since Richard took me under his wing. At this particular moment, your fantasy girl was a girl who’d let you out of your restraints. For a brief moment - you believed that girl was me. See - I had you fooled. Richard would be proud. I’ve come a long way.”
“You’re fucking crazy.”
“If I am - it’s because you made me so.”
* * * * *
Richard looked me in the eye, “I’m saying - how’d you like the opportunity to shoot another scene with us?”
I jumped at the chance and blurted out, “Yes!”
“Just remember - when the camera rolls you’re no longer you. You’re a living, breathing, fucking fantasy portraying whatever role we ask of you. Once you get that…Once you get that I think you’ll go far.”
“Thank you! Thank you for the opportunity. And the advice. I really do appreciate it.” I wasn’t sure whether I was supposed to hug him to show my gratitude or simply shake hands but I ended up doing neither. He just smiled at me.
“Some of us are meeting for dinner tonight - a few actors and actresses, the usual motley crew I go with - I think it would be a good idea if you came with me. Meet some of the people you’ll potentially be working with. What do you say?”
“I’d love to, thank you.”
He smiled again, “It’s a date. I’ll have a car come pick you up about eight,” he said.
A date? A business date? A proper date? I felt a tingle of anticipation run through my body. A business date. It had to be a business date. He didn’t know me. Why would he call it a normal date? He meets girls - pretty girls - every day. Why’d he want to have a date with me?
“You okay?” he asked.
“Yeah, I’m good, thanks.” I hesitated. Part of me wondered whether I should ask him to clarify what he meant - and I nearly did - but then I realised it would just be stupid to do so. If anything if might push him away from even wanting to help me. “Well, thank you for today, I guess we’re done for now then?”
“Yes,” he smiled, “thank you for everything today.”
“No. It was my pleasure.” He extended his hand and we shook, like professionals.
Until dinner then.
DINNER BETWEEN FRIENDS
“I was a nervous wreck when I walked into the restaurant,” I called over to Harry. I was standing by a work-bench at the side of the warehouse. Not sure what the bench was usually used for but today it was a catering bench. Not the most hygienic of work spaces but it’ll do. I was making us some dinner; sandwiches to be precise. We had a long night together and we both needed to keep our strength up. At least I need to keep my strength up and he needs to maintain an erection and he wasn’t about to swallow these pills by choice…
Ensuring he couldn’t see what I was doing, I crunched the small blue pills into a fine powder using the edge of the mug he was about to be drinking from. When they were nothing but a powder I scraped it into the very same mug. I added hot tea from a thermal flask and gave it a stir. Hopefully this will work.
“If anything I think I might have been more nervous about going to the dinner than I was going to the initial meeting. I don’t know. I guess I felt as though they’d all be judging me. Worse yet - I thought they might not like the idea that Richard was contemplating using me as an actress. They might have thought of me as competition, or something…”
“Why would they look at you as competition?” Harry spat. “You’re nothing. They would have looked at you and seen that straight away. You’re a nothing. Ugly even. Blonde hair - dyed of course. Your breasts are small and your tummy…Not as flat as it could be. No girl, in the industry or not, would think of you as competition. If anything - they’d feel sorry for you. We all felt sorry for you…My crew. My actors…We pitied you.”
“Was that before or after you did what you did to me?” I knew what he was doing. Trying to get me angry, trying to get a rise out of me. But there was nothing he could do. Nothing that could top what they’d done to me that night anyway.
“Before…… You should have thanked us for what we did for you. You know how many hits that film had? We made you a star. Overnight. We turned you into a someone.”
“You destroyed me. You didn’t make me. You killed me.” I felt myself start to get angry and tried my best to calm down. I shook it from my system. Don’t get angry. Don’t get hasty and bring the evening to a head already. Not yet. I want to go all night. I want us to go all night. I looked back down to the drink resting on the bench. It looked perfect. Like a normal tea. I gave it another stir - just to be sure. Satisfied I walked back over to where Harry was bound; his plate of sandwiches in one hand and his tea in the other. Nothing for me until I was happy he’d consumed all I had to offer.
“Ham and cucumber,” I told him after I had put the cup of tea down. I picked one of the sandwiches up and held it to his mouth. He didn’t eat. That’s fine. Didn’t think he would. Not without some persuasion anyway. I put the plate on the floor and held the sandwich back to his mouth. He still refused to open up to take a bite. I smiled and grabbed his testicles with my spare hand. A hard squeeze and he yelped out in pain. As soon as he opened his mouth, I took the opportunity to ram the sandwich in. “You can do this the easy way or the painful way,” I told him, “I don’t actually mind which but knowing what I’ve lined up for you - later - you may want to take the opportunity to have a break from the pain.”
He bit down on the sandwich, taking a chunk off, and I pulled the remainder away - giving him the space to chew it of his own accord.
“Good pet!”
I released his testicles. He swallowed his mouthful and I force fed him another. No resistance this time. I like it that he learns his lessons so quickly. When he finished his half of sandwich, I reached down to the cup of tea and lifted it from the floor. I put it to his mouth and held it there carefully to allow him the opportunity to take a sip. Don’t want to burn him. Don’t want to spill any. Need him to drink all of this - every single drop. Need that erection.
“If you want to talk,” he suggested, “get me down from here and we’ll talk.”
“You know that wouldn’t work.” I held the cup back to his mouth.
“This is stupid. You’re going to have to let me go at some point,” he said.
I smiled. He reminded me of where I had got to with my story. The path which enabled us to meet. I continued, “Apparently the meal wasn’t just a social event. It was a chance for the staff to say goodbye to one of their own…”
* * * * *
Richard had raised his glass in the air - standing at the head of the long table in the corner of the restaurant - and was halfway through a speech. I was sitting a few seats away, towards the centre of the table. On one side of me was Darren and on the other was a pretty brunette whose name I hadn’t yet been told. Knowing what Darren and I had done earlier in the day I felt a little awkward. I know it was just a job - well, an audition - but, even so, I had had the man’s penis in my mouth and his cum dribbling down my chin. It was like sitting next to an ex-boyfriend.
“And we wish you nothing but the greatest success in your new role,” he finished. The group cheered - their cheers aimed towards the woman sitting next to Richard. Her name was Jodie and she had been one of his main girls for (apparently) many a film. There wasn’t much she wouldn’t do but now her time had come. By choice, she was moving on to pastures greener - in this instance she wa
s moving into underwear design. According to Darren it wasn’t uncommon for women to move into that line of work when they felt as though they had had enough of the porn industry. I guess - after years of wearing underwear on set - they believed they had ideas of what would be comfier for women. Looking at her, she still looked good though. She could have continued making films and she would have still been highly sought after. I wanted to ask her why she had chosen to move on now - and not later - but, being the new girl on the scene, I guessed she’d probably not really want to go into it with me; no doubt worried I’d be judging her decision, not that I would. After all, I was the woman who’d just decided to get into the adult film industry.
Richard didn’t take his seat. He stayed standing until the group fell silent again, to hear what else he had to say, “And as one lady leaves us - another joins us.” I felt my heart skip a beat as all eyes turned to me. It didn’t matter what the situation was or whether it was between friends or strangers, I never did like being the centre of attention. People often found that funny about me, considering I always wanted to be an actress, but I used to tell them that - being an actress meant I didn’t have to be me. I could be someone else. And nine times out of ten I’d be in front of a camera as opposed to a large group of people. I felt myself blush as I thanked Richard for the welcome. “Shot her first scene with us today!” Richard continued.
Darren butted in, with a smile on his face, “And very enjoyable it was too.” The group laughed. Not sure I can go any redder. I just wanted to hide under the table until the moment had passed. On the plus side though, everyone seemed happy. They were smiling at me, they had their glasses raised and they genuinely seemed happy to welcome me onboard.
* * * * *
Harry started to laugh, “They were actors,” he hissed. “You think they were happy to see you? You think they wanted you there? All those people sitting around the table pretending to be friends with each other. They would always be in competition with each other and someone is always flavour of the month, taking all the roles for themselves. You think any of the girls there would have wanted you to become part of that little ‘family’? You’re naive. A fucking idiot.”