by Kris Pearson
“I’ll be going home for Christmas,” Ellie said. And because she was desperate to put some space between Tony and herself, she added “How long will it take me to get back to town? I lost track of the time when I drove here last Sunday because I took the wrong road for a while.”
He nipped her ear. “A couple of hours in that old banger you call a car. Thinking of deserting me?”
“Not for long. But I’d love to see my mum for a while. If I went now I could start back again early tomorrow morning—be here by nine? Do I get Sundays off?”
“You will be back?”
She heard suspicion in his tone. “Absolutely. But I have some house stuff to attend to. Odds and ends of Christmas shopping.” She hoped Ginny and the twins wouldn’t mention her son while she was gone.
He tightened his grip on her. “Can’t prevent you from doing that, I suppose, but I’ll be pleased to see you back again. Nine o’clock tomorrow...can I last that long?”
“You’ll manage without.”
“I got pretty good at managing without.”
Her heart constricted, and she dared to ask, “With Julia being so ill?”
“With her being so discontented, and then ill, yeah.” He drew away, and twitched the sheet off her. “Go on then—before I change my mind.”
“Yes, Boss.” She grabbed her dress and panties, and headed for the gallery. Surely no-one would spot her racing nude the short distance to her room?
xxx
“Mum!” Cal’s eyes glowed as he pulled the door open.
Ellie gathered him into a huge bear hug. “I’m missing you so much!” she exclaimed. “How are you and Grandma getting along together?”
“Ellie? You should have rung,” he mother said, bustling out of the tiny kitchen and untying her apron.
“Surprise visit,” Ellie grinned. “Couldn’t stay away any longer from this lovely boy.” She ruffled his hair, and thought of Tony’s close crop. “Do you think you could manage one night on the sofa, Cal? Then I can have the other bed in Grandma’s room and not go back until early tomorrow.”
“Cool, Mum.” He was so nonchalant. Untroubled by sudden arrangements like this. She’d dragged him through several changes of rental accommodation over the years, then the fire had burned many of his belongings, and now he was stuck in his grandmother’s small flat for weeks on end. Her son deserved so much more. But at least better times were finally in sight.
Ellie watched him, fascinated, throughout the day. All she saw now was Tony—nothing of her. They visited the almost finished house after church, and found it more habitable than last time. Cal skipped through the interior, paced around his future bedroom, and showed his grandmother the corner of the living room where the TV and longed-for PlayStation would be installed. Ellie sighed. There’d be no PlayStation for ages unless a miracle turned up.
Later, they watched a man flying a swooping blue kite while they ate ice-cream in the local park, and then encouraged Cal as he practiced football with several friends.
When it came time to leave next morning, Ellie could hardly bear it. She crept out of bed at six o’clock, pressed a warm kiss onto sleepy Cal’s brow, stuffed her bag behind the front seat of her car, and drove off with tears trickling down her face.
xxx
This time, as she approached Wharemoana, she appreciated Tony’s inheritance with new eyes. To be responsible for so much! His land stretched as far as she could see—the whole distance between the thrashing ocean and the far hills.
She parked the car in her designated garage and took her overnight bag inside. Tony appeared out of nowhere, claimed her mouth in a deep kiss and released her, smiling, when he heard the girls tumbling down the stairs.
“Okay?” he asked.
Okay going home, or okay coming back? she wondered. “The road was a lot better today. Less dust.”
“It rained a bit last night.”
“Good for the land?”
“Yep—we needed it.”
Why on earth was she holding this polite conversation when all she wanted was to be wrapped in his arms, dragged to his bed, and possessed by his fantastic body?
She gave him a wry smile. “And you survived?” she asked.
“Just about. Missed you. I’ll take the bag.”
The twins grabbed her hands and escorted her up the curving staircase, chattering about their day visiting friends on a neighbouring farm, and Alfie’s trip to the wedding in Queenstown, and names for the foal her mare would soon drop.
Ellie followed Tony’s long legs and trim backside. Last time she’d seen him wearing those old blue jeans, his chest had been bare and he’d sat in front of her, holding her legs captive between his thighs. Only Cal’s giveaway photo beside her bed had stopped her from allowing him to take things further.
“The Blue Room?” he enquired from the top gallery.
“Of course,” she called primly, and he sent her a slashing smile over the banister rail.
She hurried the girls to the schoolroom. Later that afternoon, she unpacked, gathered some laundry, and took it downstairs. Ginny looked up from icing cupcakes, and before Ellie even had to ask, said, “Put it in with ours if you like. Just sort the light from the dark, can you please?”
Ellie dropped her black top, a grey polo shirt, the olive green T-shirt, and a patterned blouse into the first bin, and tossed her yellow and white T-shirt and most of her underwear into the other.
She came back to admire the squiggly frosting, and offered to help arrange chocolate chips and flower shapes on top.
Ginny pushed the little jars across to her. “All well back in town?”
“Mmmm. The house is almost complete. And I bought some pretty mugs for my mother for Christmas.”
“And your son? He’ll be finishing school for the year soon, won’t he? Perhaps you can bring him back here with you next time?”
Ellie nodded. “Yes, sometime soon...” She looked away, wondering if it was wiser to let things stay as they were, or to ask Ginny if anyone had mentioned Cal to Tony. No, she decided—let sleeping dogs lie and arouse no suspicions.
She sprawled on one of the terrace chairs to enjoy the sun before dinner, determined to go for a walk by the sea next day as soon as she concluded lessons.
xxx
Tony watched her from his study, one floor above. Her beautiful long legs stretched out over the pavers, and her hair cascaded down the chair-back from under Ginny’s old straw hat. The rustic rose covered pergola framed her exactly. She looked at home—relaxed and right.
He was relieved and thankful she was back. Deserting her for the Melbourne conference had been bad enough, but at least she’d been safely tucked out of sight in the countryside then. During the day she’d been in town he’d half convinced himself she was with the other man. Allowing him to take the same liberties with her body that he had himself.
He’d lain awake for endless hours the night before, worrying she’d be making a polite phone call next morning to terminate her job at Wharemoana.
Finding her again after all these years—reigniting their intense passion and warm intimacy—had jolted all his emotions alive.
He’d not realised how far on the cold lonely edge of life he’d been stranded. Running his vast estate was hugely involving. He’d been grateful to lose himself in the challenging complexity of it during Julia’s ever-growing dissatisfaction.
But was this living? No—living was having someone to play with and talk to...retreating to a private place and creating physical pleasure that exhilarated and astounded.
Living was watching his girls respond as someone took a lively interest in them once more.
Living was having Ellie back in his life.
He wondered how serious the other man was. Ellie had responded warmly to his own kiss of welcome before the girls arrived downstairs. Was she duplicitous enough to string two men along? He thought not. He fervently hoped not.
So how much did his rival really count? When he’
d asked her on the balcony if the other relationship was serious, she’d said ‘I think so’. Tony remembered teasing her about that ‘think’. He’d taken enough courage from it to kiss her, and he’d broken down her defences until she clung to him.
Sure, she’d turned him away that first night, and he’d retreated to let her think he could take her or leave her, even though he’d been burning almost out of control.
At the river next day they’d both been so hot to make love that it had been physically painful to stay apart. And when he’d dragged her into the suite after the emergency dash to hospital, they’d been in each other’s arms so fast the air had started to hum with strange intense energy.
They’d turned each other on as easily as they used to. The old magic was strong. With this sensual power between them, he must surely be the victor if a rival tried to intrude?
But still...
He decided to move fast to ensure the advantage remained his. That Ellie was his. Because the prospect of losing her again was too dreadful to contemplate. One night away from her had him writhing with uncertainty and mad with hunger.
Alien sensations until now.
He knew he had plenty to offer—a home that was historic, luxurious, special beyond most women’s dreams. A position with status in the community.
Julia had craved those things. But had she ever really wanted him? Tony wanted to be wanted for himself, not the trappings that came with him. Ellie wanted him, of that he was sure. So he needed to claim her as his.
He turned away from the window and sat just long enough to save his current work and close the file. He rose, took a deep breath and headed for the stairs.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
“Conserving your energy?” he asked, dropping into the chair next to hers.
“For our no-strings mutual pleasures?” she enquired. She’d been turning her current situation around and around, and still saw no escape.
“They don’t have to be no-strings, you know. You fit in here beautifully. You’re getting on really well with my girls. They need a mother. Nothing against Ginny—she’s wonderful with them. But they need someone younger.”
Ellie flinched and turned her gaze down to her lap. Oh God! Anything but this. You’re going to offer me paradise, Tony, and there’s no way I can accept. If you knew what agony you’ll be putting me through, you’ll leave things as they are and spare me the pain.
He turned toward her as though to gauge the impression his words had made. “Ellie, look at me. This is important. My girls need a mother. I want you for my wife. You’ve appeared out of the blue at the perfect time. We’re fantastic together—I can’t believe whoever else you’re seeing is physically any better for you.”
Steel stiffened her spine. “Physically any better?” she asked, raising her head so her eyed spat sparks at his. “Tony—what makes you think I’d sleep with two different men at the same time?”
“I don’t think that.” He drew a determined breath. “But you said there was someone...”
She continued to glare at him, offended beyond belief. He considered her so morally lax? Some opinion of her he had! Yet he’d still decided to propose marriage? Outrage threatened to explode her composure apart, and she clung onto it by the slimmest of threads.
He moved to placate her, reaching for her hand.
She whipped it out of his reach.
He sat back in his chair again. Wariness lurked in his narrowed eyes, and they had no playful gold in them now. “You mentioned...someone. I’d like to get in first, so to speak.”
“You don’t seem to expect much from a wife, do you, Tony?” she said in her best ‘behave-or-else’ classroom voice. “A replacement mother for your children and a willing bed partner. And that about covers it for you does it?”
Now she saw heat in his face. Angry flushes of red spread across his cheekbones, and a pulse beat visibly in his neck.
“No, Ellie, not nearly,” he insisted. “You’re deliberately twisting things. This is a wonderful place to live. You’d thrive here. It sounds like you’ve had a fairly tough time in recent years. Come and live at Wharemoana and let me look after you. Marry me when you think a decent-enough time has elapsed.”
Panic gripped her. She trembled from her scalp to her suddenly frozen feet, and prayed he wouldn’t notice. If he’d wanted her eleven years ago, she would have been delirious with joy. But now? He’d surely wreck the trusting relationship she had with Cal. She’d told him his father was dead and never coming back. The lie had returned to haunt her.
However much she might want the man, her son had to take precedence. It would be so easy for Tony to steal him away. She could picture the huge grin on Cal’s face if Tony gave him the longed-for PlayStation.
Worse, it sounded as though Tony saw marriage simply as a very convenient solution to their mutual problems—and itches.
And yes, she itched. Her body had come alive after its long enforced sleep. She had only to look at him to feel the feathery flick of desire pulsing through her. Knew that when her eyes caught his, it would beat steadily hotter and heavier, and have her ready to receive him in a matter of seconds.
Now she drifted through the days waiting only for the nights.
The possibility of sharing his bed permanently had turned into reality, but no way could she accept. Cal had to come first.
And at least Cal loved her! Tony had made no mention of that little necessity. Sure, he lusted after her. And if he was willing to offer marriage he must hold her in some esteem. After all, he could hire a nanny or tutor for his daughters and an escort for social occasions, but he didn’t need to marry to acquire either service.
She needed to somehow retreat gracefully from the situation. She wanted to keep the job, but marriage was out of the question and she had to make him see that.
“Tony,” she said. And stopped. How could she turn him down without offending him so thoroughly she lost any future chance of reconciliation? The wanting had lashed at her more and more strongly as the days slid by. Seven days filled with violent emotions—hot hope and seething passion—and now misery as cold and hard as granite.
“Ellie?” he replied. And waited, mouth tight and eyes icy.
She swallowed. “You have somewhat misinterpreted my other relationship,” she said. “I am sleeping only with you. I am very happy to continue that arrangement.”
“Arrangement? What an attractive description.”
She bit her lip and shrugged. Dropped her gaze.
“And I’m to be thankful for small mercies, am I?” His apparent attempt at lightness fell like a lead balloon between them.
Ellie flinched. “I want you intensely,” she muttered. “How can you doubt that?” She shot him a sideways glance. He didn’t appear convinced or comforted. “Tony, you know I want you. That I’m desperate for you. I can’t say ‘no’ to save my life...”
xxx
“But I’m just a source of energetic sex for you, am I? Someone to work all your female frustrations off with so you get a good night’s sleep?” His blood ran cold as he heard himself spit the vicious words out. That wasn’t what he’d meant. And certainly not how he’d intended saying it. He’d lose her completely if he wasn’t careful. But why couldn’t she see how good things would be for them both? If she had no-one else, why wouldn’t she commit to him?
He scraped both hands back across his short hair and squeezed his eyes closed.
He wasn’t asking for instant marriage. In fact they needed to wait a few months so Julia’s sad death could slide decently into the past. He tried again.
“Ellie, I’m sorry. Of course that’s not what I meant. I saw you from my study.” He glanced up through the rose covered pergola to the upstairs window—“and I thought you looked so right here, so at home. I saw the possibility of us all being happy together. At least think about it?”
“Shall I be allowed to continue working off my ‘female frustrations’ on you, Tony?”
He compresse
d his lips, biting back the unwise words that had so nearly escaped. “Anything you want, Ellie. Whatever suits you best.”
“It suits me best to stay on in my current situation, thank you. You’re right about the girls—we relate well. And they definitely need extra tuition so they’ll be able to cope at school next year.”
“And us?”
“If I need a good night’s sleep, I know where you are.”
Somehow he managed to stay silent for a few seconds. He had to presume he’d deserved that last cruel barb from her. But a black rage had him in its clutches now.
“How did we get to this?” he snarled. “This is crazy, Ellie. I was offering you a compliment—I thought. I seem to have done nothing but upset you.”
She bowed her head so her curtain of hair hid her face from him. “Tony, I’m right at a crossroads in my life. I’m exactly ready to set up on my own. I love my job—relief teaching pays well and I’ve been getting plenty of work. The position here will see me through until the next school year starts. My new house is almost ready—”
“You could move here and rent that out,” he said stonily.
“—and I’m so looking forward to having a proper home instead of a rented place. You can’t have any idea what that feels like. Wharemoana is your family’s home...your inheritance. You didn’t have to work for it.”
He bared his teeth in a cold smile, determined to put her right about that. “Like hell I didn’t! I’ve spent my whole life preparing to run this place. School holidays helping to drench stock and repair fences and feed out silage when other kids were off skiing or surfing. Years of study at uni. Business subjects because I needed them—not because I wanted them. I worked like the devil. Far harder than you can imagine.”
She raised a hand to stop him. “But you still had it given to you.”
“I’m the only son.” He smashed a closed fist into his other hand with a loud smack and had the satisfaction of seeing her jump. “I’m the current caretaker. How else would it be?”