Shed some Light

by Amber Naralim

  That word cut through his swirling thoughts. Reese opened his mouth to ask how she knew, then he remembered. The personality. Ellie eased into traffic. The further they got from the diner the more Reese relaxed. Though, he kept glancing behind them in the rearview. Reese sipped on the straw and gave an impressed turn of his lips. The shake wasn't bad.

  He snatched one of Ellie’s fries. She looked at him aghast. “You wicked thief!” she said in mock anger. “I'll put you over my knee.”

  Reese smiled, his eyes big. Finally relaxing, he needed her humor. It was something he’d come to enjoy over these past months of being with her. “Do ya promise to spank me?” he asked with a waggle of his eyebrows. Ellie laughed at him.

  “Only if you’re really, really good.”

  It was coming back. Ellie was falling back into that ease she was so used to with her Reese. Her heart soared. Ellie missed that most when he went away. Alone with the real Reese here she thought she would be more worried. Ellie didn't know why she felt the way she did about him. She just did. Ellie was sick of fighting it.

  “Ooh.” Reese laughed flirtatiously. She turned to look at him. The expression that crossed her face took his breath away. If pain and joy could occupy the same space, it did it on her face in that moment. Her longing bit along his skin like sparks. Reese had an urge to touch her so strong he actually moved closer to her before he caught himself. Ellie licked her lips, heaving a heavy sigh. She turned her head back to the road and hit the gas.

  He pressed back against the seat and forced himself to breathe. Reese was drowning in her emotions. The sunny day warmth that was her feelings for the personality melted the very core of him. He would do anything for her just to keep feeling that radiance. How easy she found it to be with him. It was a rush that spilled euphoria into his brain. And it was so easy to be washed away in the flood. Reese looked at her. He couldn't get enough of her need for him.

  It was weak but he draped his arm across the seat again anyway. Just so he could touch her hair. It was an innocent enough brush of her, he figured. Even Vince couldn't fault him that. Reese had to try twice before he could speak. “This ain't the way back,” he said, munching on his fries. Reese decided the burger was clearly inedible. He spared one last look in the side-view mirror. So far they hadn’t been followed.

  “I know,” she said. Ellie didn't notice him playing with her hair.

  “What, are we running away together? Because that would be super,” he said with a smile.

  “We're going to the hospital.” Ellie stared at the road signs with interest. He blinked at her.

  “What for?” Reese asked, holding out a fry for her. She leaned over and took it with her mouth, still watching the road.

  “Because you are obviously a very sick boy,” Ellie said absently. “And I need a look at the floor plan.”

  That sentence intrigued him. “Going to let me in on your master plan?” Reese asked, giving her a look.

  “Charlie needs hospital stuff to start working on a cure for Edward. And I'm going to get it for her,” Ellie explained.

  “Well then, we're wasting time. Onto adventure and crime.” Reese waggled his eyebrows. She laughed at him.

  They drove another two hours into a more populated area. Ellie could barely breathe with him this close. It was like both of them were stunned, neither one of them knowing what it was that hit them. Ellie was full of warm and fuzzy feelings. Reese had chills running down his spine. He spent every second of it surfing the waves of her shifting emotions. Ellie couldn't help but think of the personality when she was with him. Sitting here in the close confines of this truck, Ellie realized just how much she really did love Reese.

  Knowing the real Reese made it harder to ignore. The past few weeks she had been avoiding him at all costs. Just sitting here, having a simple conversation. Ellie realized she needed him every bit as much as she needed Vincent. It made her stop pretending. She kept catching herself staring at him. Her thoughts were such a thick soup. It wasn't until they were halfway there that Ellie realized she was holding his hand.

  Reese sat inches from her, fighting a battle of his own. She was cutting through her emotions with a machete with no clue that he could feel every one of them. Reese admitted finally, dancing on the sensation of her emotions, he was in love. There was no falling. He thought it started as just the need to be needed. But the more time he spent with her. The more he got to know her. The more drawn to her he was. He just loved her from the moment he saw her. Reese didn't think love at first sight was something that existed. Wow, was he wrong.

  Reese slumped in his seat facing her, his legs open. His head rested against the seat staring at her. He loved the way her hand felt wrapped in his. It had been over sixty years since he had been able to hold another person. He ran his thumb over the back of her palm. Relishing in the touch, he delighted in all of her. Reese felt more than a little guilty. But he didn't let that bother him too much. Vince was full of too much guilt about everything he did. Reese didn't have enough.

  The closest thing she could find was an urgent care center. But it had a lab and x-ray. Reese heaved a sigh when they pulled into the parking lot. He heaved another when she took her hand away. Reese walked inside, holding the door like a gentleman. Ellie rolled her eyes and walked past him. Man, that bugged her. Ellie looked around. The lab and x-ray were to her left. There was a heavy metal door. But the boys could get through that without a problem. She made sure to check the hours. They were not a twenty-four-hour operation. That was a good thing, fewer people to get hurt.

  Ellie walked past the desk, over to the bathrooms. She gave him high eyebrows and a sinful smile as she pushed her way into the woman's bathroom. There was a map of the building posted there. She took a picture of it with her camera phone. Once she had it, Ellie headed back out to him. She eyed the layout as she walked through. Ellie couldn't verify they had everything she needed. It was a start.

  Ellie gave him a dazzling smile. Reese stood near the door at parade rest. He looked at the people at the front desk, lost in thought. Reese was beginning to worry about the promise he made Vince. Her smile nearly brought him to his knees.

  “Ya get everything ya need? he asked. She nodded her pretty little head.

  “Let's go.” Ellie jerked her head toward the door. He gave her another look, his eyebrows dragging inward, forehead wrinkling. Reese followed her out to the truck. They got inside. Ellie took a few minutes to show him how to take pictures with the camera on her phone and then she drove around to the back. While Reese took pictures of the outside, she looked for any security cameras. She didn’t see any. There was a back door. Ellie spotted the power main that led to the building. Vincent tore one loose when he robbed a convenience store once. She figured they could do the same thing.

  Ellie spared him a glance, stared at his beautiful face, his bright blue eyes. She wanted to touch that scruffy cheek. Run her hands through his hair. She wanted him to hold her. To wrap his arms around her and let her lay her head on his chest. Listen to his breathing. God, she missed him. She missed Reese. Looking at him made her realize that without him sitting there so close she would have been able to deal with it. Her Reese was just a figment, a ghost. The Reese sitting here was real. And she needed him.

  Reese smiled at her raising his eyebrows. “Penny for your thoughts?” he said, letting his head fall forward a touch.

  Ellie licked her lips. She gave him a sad smile. “No.”

  He thought about pushing the point. Reese knew better. In his time with her, he learned she would open up to him when she was good and ready, and not a moment before. Reese plastered a smile onto his handsome face. “So, little firecracker, what do ya got planned for us outlaws now?” he asked, letting his head fall to one side. His eyes moved over her face. He memorized the shimmer of sunlight in her hair.

  He could feel the emotions flowing off her like warm water. She was thinking about him again. The personality. Every time she looked at him. He c
ould feel it. But today it was like a storm. Her thoughts were a wreck of wonderful and horrible things all at the same time. He watched her swallow the desire to reach out and touch him. Reese considered taking her hand again.

  That is when he felt it change. She wasn't thinking about the personality. She was thinking about him. That need knocked the wind out of him. Reese thought what he felt coming off her before was powerful. This had the force of a tsunami. It drowned him, filling him up full of her. Blinded him, and dragged him down. He tried to swim through it. She spun him about so much that he didn't know which way was up. Reese blinked his eyes wide a few times staring at her. He decided in that moment that he was foolish to have made that promise to Vince.

  The drive home was quiet. Much like the ride there had been. He missed holding her hand. Reese kind of figured he would. Ellie stared at the road lost in her thoughts. Her left arm was beginning to ache. She let it drop, driving with only one hand. He kept looking at her intermittently. Reese watched her move, shift her weight. He watched her fight with herself over her feelings for him. She loved Vince. He could feel it. But he could also feel the love she felt for him. Before, he simply filled those shoes for her. She was drawn to him in ways she didn't really even understand. That made two of ‘em. Reese felt the same about her. But now, this was... this was different.

  The way she looked at him so longingly made him feel lonely. Reese wanted to be wanted. Needed. He craved the way she needed him. He wanted to be that Reese for her. He couldn't act on it. It would tear Vince apart and he knew it. So, he sat there with the illusion of space between them. Reese watched her, imagining what it would be like to feel her skin on his. Feel the silk of her lips.

  Reese imagined what her kisses would taste like. What her body would feel like pressed up against him. He knew the sounds she made. Reese would lay on his bed at the house and listen to her cry out with pleasure as his brother touched her. Loved her. The desire to touch her filled Reese up. The need to kiss her made his lips tingle. Reese swallowed the lump in his throat.

  Ellie tore her eyes away from the road and looked at him. Her brows furrowed. “Do I have food on my face?” she asked with a smile.

  “Ya are food, silly,” Reese joked. But the smile didn't quite reach his eyes. Reese shook his head, plastering his lips together.

  “You're staring at me.”

  He smiled. Nodded. “I am,” Reese admitted.

  “Why?” she asked. Her eyebrows cut a wavering line across her pretty eyes.

  Reese thought about how to answer that. “Why do ya stare at me the way ya do?” he asked her.

  Ellie took in a deep breath. Her cheeks burned with a blush. She thought about that. Ellie wondered if she could even say it out loud without crying.

  “I stare at you because you are what my best friend was supposed to be,” Ellie told him honestly. “And I miss him.” She sighed heavily. Her voice trembled. “I miss him so much.”

  “I told ya.” Reese sniffed, interrupting her. “I told Vince. I ain’t him.”

  Ellie stared at the road for a long, silent moment that dragged out between them. She thought about what he said. It wasn't true. She heaved another sigh and opened her mouth. “You were right. I loved Reese!” She said it out loud and the weight of it lifted from her chest. It was suddenly easier to breathe having admitted it. Tears stung her eyes.

  “It’s like he was... Lancelot. Some perfect, fairy tale figure that could do no wrong. And somehow, I knew that he wasn't real because of it. No one is that good all the time. It made me hesitate,” she said. “I missed him, but I knew he wasn't real. So I could deal.” Ellie took in a deep breath and admitted, “Until I met you.” Her head swiveled to the side. She looked at him.

  “What are ya saying?” Reese asked, his head tilting down and to the side. He blinked those amazing eyes at her. They were so blue. His heart fluttered.

  “I'm saying, you're the real him. And I love you, Reese. I love you. And I love your brother. You two are the only things that are still real to me,” Ellie whispered. “I love you guys for a thousand other reasons, but I need you because you two gave me another world. Because you hold me high, Reese. Vincent loves me like no other. Worships me. But you keep me safe. ”

  Reese exhaled in frustration. “Ya don't even know me!” he said, shaking his head. “How can ya love me, if ya don't know me?” It wasn't that he didn't believe her. What she said was true. But he had to know why.

  “I know you, Reese. I've always known you. Hell, sometimes I feel like I know you better than I do Vincent. I've always loved you,” she whispered the last. Ellie tore her gaze from the road and looked into his otherworldly blue eyes. “Sometimes I think I love you more because of your faults. Because it makes you real.”

  He heaved a heavy sigh. Reese’s eyes shined with her words. He wanted this so badly, and yet her admissions tore him in half. He wanted her like he had never wanted any other. But part of him couldn't bear to hurt Vince. He looked into her lovely face. Leaned in close, Reese brushed her cheek with his thumb. He stared at her, spellbound.

  “Vincent is this beautiful catastrophe. He’s kind. And he is loving and so completely broken. I love him for it. I love him so much! But I loved you first and I can't stop. I need you both.”

  Reese swallowed the need to reach out to her, to pull her into his arms. He exhaled a shuddering breath. Reese knew exactly why his little brother loved her the way he did. It wasn't hard. She was brave and funny. She had this gravity that drew you in. A force that was almost impossible to escape. The fact that she was gorgeous, and smelled like fruit only made it that much harder to pull away.

  “It's like my heart is beating out of my chest. Every time I see his face. Every time I look at you!” she cried, her face crumpling with her admission. “I need you,” Ellie breathed. “I need you and I can’t live without him. I can't help the way I feel. It's not fair to either of you. I thought I understood it. I thought that it was just Vincent, but now I know. You really are two different people and my heart is split between you. It always has been.” She sighed. “He is my heartbeat and you are my breath.”

  Ellie took in a deep breath. She slowed the car to a stop for the red light and stared out at the street. Ellie couldn't believe she told him the truth. She had to. It was tearing her apart inside. Hiding it from Vincent was killing her. She stole a glance at him. Reese smiled. It was a sad pull of lips. His eyes shined with some emotion that she didn't understand.

  Reese licked his lips. “If ya need us both, then ya got us both, Sunshine.” Ellie looked at him with those emerald eyes swirling with emotions that she could not hide. His breath fell out of him. He wasn't thinking. Reese was simply feeling. He leaned forward. Breathing her in, his hands slid between her silken hair and her velvet skin. Her heartbeat sped with his touch.

  “Ya got us both.” Reese hooked his fingers behind her neck and drew her to him. Ellie was so afraid that he was pulling her in for a kiss. Her mind screamed at her to stop, to pull away. But she couldn't. So when he pressed his forehead to hers. She gave him a relief filled, sad smile. Ellie didn't think she could stop if he pushed it. Reese laid a kiss on her forehead. “You're his girl and I'm your best friend,” he whispered. “That's how it was. That's how it'll be.” He laid his forehead against hers again just so he could have a chance to wipe the ripping emotions out of his eyes. Reese closed them swallowing deep. This was the only way he could keep that promise to Vince.

  Ellie looked up at him, into his dazzling blue eyes. She smiled. Ellie was sure he would never understand just what that meant to her. But he could feel it raining all over him. This was the only way Reese could keep both of them. She opened her mouth to say something and a loud sound blared. The person behind them pressed on his horn. Reese blew an angry breath out through his nose. His eyes swiveled to look out the back window.

  “I could go kill him for ya,” he said. The look on his face told her he wasn't kidding. Ellie simply smiled, pulling back
from him.

  “That's very sweet,” she said, hitting the gas.

  After a few hundred yards, she bit her bottom lip, catching it between her teeth. Ellie reached across the seat, taking his hand in hers. “My best friend,” she said. “You have no idea what that means to me, Reese.”

  He smiled. It was easier than he thought it would be. “Well, considering you're my first girl that is just my friend. You'll have to explain this to me. It's like you're my girl, except I don't get sex, right?” He mocked her. A rich, honeyed laugh slithering all around her.

  “Pretty much.” She laughed with him.

  “Oh well, guess I can live with it then.” Reese gave her another of those fake smiles. He would have to. But he supposed this way at least he got to hold her. He got to touch her and see that smile. She was Vince's little ray of sunshine. He would have to keep reminding himself of that. Reese gave her hand a squeeze. This way she got to be his, just a little bit. He smiled at her. Reese loved the look on her face. Loved the way her eyes sparkled.

  Elation ran through her. Ellie could not describe in words how happy he just made her. Having him with her, knowing he would be there to hold her, be there for her. It was more than she could ever ask for. Having him be her best friend was a decidedly better feeling than him wanting to gut her. She lifted his hand and laid a kiss on the back of his palm. He gave her another simple smile. Reese relished the feeling of her lips on his skin.

  Again, the quiet rushed in on them as they drove past the small two street town and further out into the wilderness. A smile spread across her face that hadn't budged in the last twenty minutes. Reese was watching her again, awash in her glorious joy. He was absolutely captivated by that smile, by the delight his words caused her.

  Chapter 14

  Anna tapped her cane, counting her steps. She walked past him a few strides and stopped. She couldn't hear anything, but she could feel that blast of heat. “Edward, is that you?”