by Paul Kater
Hilda stared at the other witch. "Crappedy crap. You were slow! I was out in seven months or so!"
William almost regretted bringing up the subject. The things he heard were unnerving to say the least. "So you mean that a witch's pregnancy can vary in time?"
"Yes, of course. Depends what kind of magical bun is in the oven. Usually the time inside gives a pretty good indication of how powerful the kid is also."
"Meaning that the longer..." William guessed.
"No, William. It does not work that way. I'm five months in now. If the kid comes out now, it would be a mage. Six months is a mage also but a less powerful one. Seven months is a witch or a wizard, and one that's pretty good too."
William heard the witch explain a whole series and soon was lost. He just nodded politely and took a few deep breaths when the witch was done. The fact that a pregnancy could take up to eighteen months was dreadful even to him. What woman would be able to stand something like that, he wondered.
After all the bits of gossip were exchanged and all cookies and pickles had gone, Hilda and William said goodbye to Lorelei. As they were in the air again, cats and all, William asked Hilda if all witches were so liberal in their sexual encounters.
"No, not really. Lorelei is quite special though. An interesting person, don't you think?"
"She's special alright," William admitted. "I'm still convinced you are more special though, Hilda."
"Awww, you're so sweet." She kissed her wizard in full flight.
They reached the house and were greeted with a complaint: "There is an arrow with a message for you." Usually this would be just an announcement. This time it sounded as a complaint.
William looked at the wooden board he had put up for arrows of messaging archers. "No, there isn't."
"Yes. There is." It was uncanny but the house seemed to sigh. "It is sticking in the wooden window frame of the bedroom."
Hilda looked up. "Yes, there is an arrow there, William." Flying up on her broom she quickly took the arrow down. "Must have been an amateur or a student who did that."
"Or a blind person," the house commented. "And the arrow chipped the new paint too."
"Oh, hush you, we'll fix that soon," Hilda said as she unrolled the little piece of paper that had been tied to the arrow.
"And how long will 'soon' take this time? Twenty years again?"
Hilda didn't hear the house. She walked inside, Grim following her.
William looked at Obsi. "Looks like it's you and me, fellow," he grinned. On broom they went up. Obsi sniffed at the paint for a moment. Then William fixed the paint with a simple spell.
"Thank you. I've never been repaired faster," the house commented.
"Don't mention it," said the wizard as he touched down again.
"Very well. I won't."
William scowled, then shrugged. "Come on, cat, we're going in for food." Obsidian Shadow ran ahead. Inside, they found Hilda sitting at the table, staring at the note.
"Hello there, sweetwitch, what's with the troubled face?" William asked.
"Snow White," Hilda replied.
"What?" William was not certain if he had heard that correctly. "Snow White? From the seven dwarfs you mean?"
"Yes, very same one, apple and all."
"And the glass coffin?"
"Was there too, yes. Stupid thing. It didn't survive. I took care of that alright."
William sat down and looked at the witch. "Want to tell me about it?"
"No. Read this instead." Hilda pushed the piece of paper over to William..
He picked the small bit up and read the itty-bitty handwriting. "Dear Grimhilda, please, help, problem, hurry, SW." He frowned. "SW must be Snow White, right?" He was not extremely impressed with the lack of words, but he sensed that Hilda was. "Trip coming up, right?"
"Yes. We should go there quickly too. Snow White is not the kind to write like that, so there must be something very strange going on."
"And their local witches?"
"Pshaw... They're lucky to find one there that can tell the ends of a broom apart."
"That sounds bad," William agreed.
"It's even worse," Hilda said. "Come, we'll pack some things, swing by the castle of Walt and go see her. I hope you like children." She left the table, leaving William wondering about that last remark.
He also got up and went after her, to pack some things. He was followed up the stairs by two black shadows that then sat in a corner, watching as the couple packed up some things they wanted to take with them. Hilda did the shrink trick, William stuck the small cubes in a pocket, and they were ready to leave.
Hilda stared at the house as they were outside. "Say, house, do you think we have to do the thing with the chains again?"
"You never asked that before," the house remarked. "I must admit that not having chains is liberating, but on the other hand: the chains do provide security."
"Right then," Hilda nodded. She waved her wand, mumbled her spell, and the small mountain of chains was around the house. She hopped on her broom, stroked Grimalkin over the head and looked at William. "Ready?"
"I was born ready," he replied. Obsi was already in place.
"William... sometimes, you know, sometimes you still say the strangest things..." Then they flew off.
4. Meet the family
Hilda and William made their pass along King Walt's castle, but there was no sign of him. One of the servants came running out to tell them that the royal couple were out of the castle, and the date of their return was as yet unclear. "They are off to see their daughter," the man informed them.
"How interesting," Hilda said, "we were on our way to see the girl ourselves. I guess we'll meet up with the king there then." The brooms took to the skies again and their riders started the journey to the kingdom where prince Jordan and his beloved Snow White lived. On the way there, William tried to coax Hilda into telling more about her previous encounter with Snow White, but the witch said nothing.
As they landed for a break and a bite, in a village that lay halfway, William grinned. "Look at that."
The black cat who had claimed the brushy part of her broom was lying there, sleeping as if it was in the relative safety of a lap. Hilda snickered as she saw it. Onyx Grimalkin then awoke and looked up at the two people as if she wanted to know what was so funny.
The magicals as well as the cats found something very edible in the local tavern, and then they pursued their journey, as the landscape beneath them slowly changed. The trees became taller and darker, the roads became narrower and twistier. Even the grass here did not seem as green as it was at home.
"We're almost there, William," said Hilda. In the distance a castle became visible. It's colour made it hard to see from further away, as it blended in very well with the mountains that it was close to.
"Hey, Obsi, wake up," William said, gently prodding the black cat. "Look, there, that's where we're going!" Obsi meowed, opened one eye for one moment and decided that more was not worth the bother. He remained asleep until the two brooms were almost over the wall that surrounded the castle. Then suddenly he sat up and observed where they were going quite closely.
"I'll never understand that cat," William remarked. Obsidian Shadow waved his tail, as if he was proud of that compliment. The magicals waited over the wall, to see what would happen. A few guards had seen them already and one had gone inside the building.
"Ah, there is the welcoming committee," Hilda observed.
A shape on a broom came up to where they were floating. The shape was suspiciously pink, and as it came closer, the reason was obvious: the witch wore a pink dress. And a pink hat with ditto flowers. Even her broomstick was pink. "Hello," the woman chimed with a high-pitched voice, "I am Esmee. I do the witching around here. Who are you?"
Hilda stared at the blond hair of the mostly pink apparition, and then at the blue eyes. "Hello, Esmee. I am Grimhilda. This is William, and these are our cats. We got a note from Snow White that there is som
e problem that she needs help with."
"Oh! Yes! You are the witch and the wizard she mentioned!"
Hilda looked at William for mental support. He understood her reaction. Esmee seemed quite an airhead and probably needed the hat to keep things together beneath the blond curls.
"Yes," Hilda said, "we are the witch and the wizard. I hope there were not more people on brooms coming over this way lately."
"No, you are the first ones in years!" Esmee cheered.
Through the bond William felt Hilda groan. He knew so well why.
"I think you want to see the princess, yes?" Esmee asked with a hopeful twinkle in her voice. Yes, a twinkle. That was the only way Hilda and William could call it.
"Would be an idea, yeah, as we came all the way over for her," Hilda said, not holding much hope for Esmee.
The pink witch nodded. "Come, follow me. I know where to go!" She swooped her broom downwards.
"I hope so, really," Hilda muttered as they followed the resident witch to the ground.
-=-=-
Hilda insisted on taking her broom with her into the castle. With an airhead like that around, she thought, you never know where magic might flutter about and do silly things.
Esmee took them to the wing of the castle where the prince and princess had their chambers. As soon as they reached the actual wing, the cats jumped up on the shoulders of the magical couple, which they had learnt to interpret as an omen. A few moments later a door was flung open and two children, a boy and a girl, no older than four or five, came running from the room. The boy swung a wooden sword and the girl had a collection of small gold and silver crowns hanging from her arm.
"Dinna, I want my crown back!" the boy screamed as he waved the wooden sword around. The girl did not bother with his words. She just uttered a shrill laugh and ran on.
"Dinna, Roderick, stop that!" Esmee really did her best to sound convincing. It sounded rather pathetic instead. "Sorry about that, they are very active children," she apologised to Hilda. The pink witch led them on to the next room, where she went in without knocking. "Nursery," she quickly mentioned.
Hilda and William followed the resident pink cloud.
Snow White looked up at the visitors. "Grimhilda!" Her face lit up as she quickly walked over to the grey haired witch. She nearly thrust the baby she carried in Esmee's arms ("hold her please") and hugged the witch that had saved her from the wrath of her evil stepmother. "I am so glad to see you!"
"Hello Snow White. You look... healthy." Hilda had already noticed the swollen belly of the princess. "Another royal bun in the oven?"
Snow White nodded as she looked at William. "I am not sure if we ever had the pleasure..."
William introduced himself, staring at the woman as little as possible. He had seen and accepted a terrible lot here already, but the fact that he was now face to face with Snow White was a bit more than he could handle out of the pink. Blue.
"Oh, a witch and a wizard, married and all, how beautiful," said Snow White, who took the baby-bundle back from Esmee.
"Looks like your prince is making sure that you stay round, doesn't he?" Hilda remarked, pointing at Snow White's belly.
The princess looked very sad and unhappy for a moment. "Indeed. All he can think of is... that. Well, that what causes it, really."
"Well, that is a good reason to call for help," Hilda nodded, "where is he?"
Snow White looked surprise. "Jordan is out riding with Billy and Dicky. But that is not why I sent you the note, Hilda, no. There is something else."
Hilda looked at the princess in disbelief. "Billy. Dicky. There were two kids out there. You have one in your arms, and one in there?"
"Yes. Billy and Dicky are twins, they are very cute," Snow White said. She seemed proud of her children. "Let me put Sandy in bed, then we can go and talk. And I can pretend to be a proper hostess."
Hilda and William were taken to what originally must have been a magnificent room. Now it was full with play pens, boxes with children's toys and other doubtful joys of parental life. Hilda gasped when she saw all the objects.
Snow White herself cleared out a couch, so the two could sit. Esmee helped to make some seating space for the princess and herself. Then a servant was sent to bring tea and cookies. Finally things were so far in order that Snow White could speak.
"There are strange things going on," she started to say. Her face became serious. "All kinds of small animals are going missing. All we find back are the bones."
"And that is a problem?" Hilda asked. She really failed to understand the urgency.
"It is a problem when there are four or five missing a day, and we've retrieved over one hundred and fifty sets of bones so far. Chickens, rabbits, geese and ducks, animals like that."
"Oh. Right." Hilda looked at the pink witch. "Have you found out anything about that yet? Esmee?"
"Yes, yes, I did my homework," the blond said, "the animals were all eaten."
"Eaten. Right. And how were they eaten?" Hilda hoped that she asked the right thing.
"Dead. I think." Esmee became a bit pale as she thought of the alternative.
Hilda sighed. Not the right question. As William took her hand and squeezed it, she tried it again. "I mean, were the animals raw? Roasted? And were they eaten by an animal? A human?"
Esmee thought hard. Hilda imagined she could hear it. "They were eaten raw. I am quite sure of that. But I don't know what ate them. Nobody knows."
Then the door flew open. Hilda and William were on their feet, wands in hand. Two black cats stood with arched backs, eyes large and nails in the couch. Their tails were puffed up and ready to dust things.
"Mamma, mamma, Dinna hit me!" Roderick ran into Snow White's arms while her daughter came in carrying the wooden sword.
"Children." Hilda just said the word as she made her wand disappear and sat down, picking up Grimalkin. As William sat down, Esmee looked at them. "How did you do that?"
"Do what?" Hilda wasn't sure what the pink woman meant.
"The wand thingy?"
"The.. wand... thingy?" Hilda raised her eyebrows. "This?" She popped up her wand, as Snow White performed her maternal privileges in a very skilled manner.
"Yes, that." The pink witch reached in her pouch and took her own wand. "I do it this way. Your way looks a lot better. Can you teach me?"
Hilda's wand disappeared. "Tell me, Esmee. Did you work with flowers before coming to the castle?"
Esmee nodded, smiling happily. "Yes. I still do, by the way."
"Flower witch. I should have known." Hilda fell back against the backrest of the couch and stared at the ceiling for a while and for help that wasn't there.
"Ouch! Dinna, put down the sword!" Snow White's maternal objectives did not seem to connect with her daughter's mischief. Before the little girl could hit her mother again, Hilda had changed the wooden sword into a lead one. Dinna promptly was more than happy to put it down.
"That's how we handle things like that," the wicked witch nodded.
5. Reading the bones
Dinna stared at Hilda. "Did you do that?" She stuck her tiny fists in her side and looked angry.
"Dinna, that is a guest," Snow White tried.
The girl was not even halfway impressed by that. "I am a princess, Mum!"
"And she is a witch, Dinna."
"Hah. Esmee is a witch too, and she doesn't scare me." Dinna stomped her foot on the ground and looked at Hilda again.
The witch was not impressed. She looked at Esmee who clearly was very impressed by the little girl. "So, we should have a look at these bones you found. Do you have some around?" Hilda asked.
Esmee nodded, not taking her eyes off the angry little princess. "There are some outside now, I am sure."
"Good. Let's go and have a look then." Hilda wanted to get up when she found Dinna standing in front of her. "Step aside, kid."
"NO!"
Snow White had calmed down Roderick and tried to get to her daughter, but s
he could save herself the trouble.
Hilda popped up her wand, waved it, and a few moments later Dinna stuck to the ceiling. "If you have it high up in the head, stay up there for a while." She got up. "Come. Let's see some bones," the witch announced as she picked up Grim and draped the cat over her shoulders.
Snow White looked up at the squirming and screaming girl at the ceiling. "How do I get her down again?"