by Paul Kater
"To get over those sirens you'll need to whack the door a lot harder," she clarified. She pushed the man out of the way and went inside, William and Baba Yaga right behind her. "Suck an elf..."
Esmee was under the siege of two children, boys that Hilda and William had not seen before. These had to be Billy and Dicky. The pink witch stood on a chair, clenching her skirt between her knees, swatting at the boys with a diaper and holding on to a curtain to keep her balance. Snow White was holding back Dinna, who seemed game to join Esmee's tormentors, and a maid had a hand over Roderick's eyes whilst holding the baby in an arm.
"Oh, Grimhilda..." Snow White's cheeks were red. "How nice to see you."
"Are you coping?" Hilda asked.
Before Snow White could answer, Dinna shrieked. "An ugly witch!"
Roderick tried to fight the maid's hand off, even attempted to use his teeth for that. Dicky and Billy turned around and jumped as they beheld Baba Yaga. The two boys, as one, fled behind the chair that Esmee was standing on, to hide from Babs. One of them could not resist another attempt to peek under Esmee's skirt, despite his fright.
The pink witch quickly got down from the chair and successfully slapped the diaper over one of the heads.
"Oh, fine, it's nothing special," Snow White said. Dinna had by then adopted the tactics of her brothers and now was hiding behind her mother. Baba Yaga's appearance had made quite an impact.
Babs pointed at Esmee. "Come over here." Esmee did it because she had to. "You really need a few lessons if you want to be the witch around here."
"But I am the witch around here!" Esmee looked at Baba Yaga with a mix of fright and the desire to flee.
"You are not. A witch does not jump on a chair when two halfling mice are trying to peek under her skirts. A witch does this." The speed with which the wand appeared, the movement happened, the two boys got stuck with their faces to the wall and the wand was gone again made Esmee stagger backwards. The two boys were silent, too gobsmacked to understand what had happened.
"You can't use magic against children," Esmee said, doubt and satisfaction battling in her voice.
"Sure I can. There hangs your proof."
By then the two boys had started whining that Mummy should get them off the wall. The astonished maid had let go of Roderick, who walked over to his brothers and started yanking an arm. Arm nor brother came off.
"See, that is how we make things calm." A part of Baba Yaga's face moved, it tried a smile.
In the short silence that fell, Hilda picked up her cue. "We found a few strange things," she announced. She held up the cat hair. "This."
Snow White and Esmee came closer. "Hair," they said in unison.
"Cat hair," Hilda pointed out, "and we found this bit on a level that normal cats don't reach unless they jump."
"Or when they're thrown," Baba Yaga added.
Obsidian Shadow, perched on William's shoulder, hissed. Babs was shocked nor shaken.
"So we want to know if you have really large cats here," Hilda finished, ignoring the interruptions. She raised a hand to shoulder height. "About this tall."
Esmee reached out and found support on William's arm while Snow White stared at the hand. "You must be joking, Grimhilda. Cats of that size... No, we don't have those here. We would know."
William frowned. Then he looked at the maid who had been carrying the baby. She had turned around and was changing the baby's diaper. He fixed the smell. "That's better."
The princess asked Esmee to keep Roderick away from his brothers, as the young boy was still trying to remove them from the wall with increasing force. "I will go and ask Jordan if he knows of such cats." With that she took Dinna's hand and left the room with her daughter, leaving the three magical people.
Esmee tried to sweet-talk Roderick into leaving his brothers alone. Roderick was not up for that; pulling at his defenseless siblings was much more fun.
"Hey, kid," Hilda said, "cut it out or we'll stick you to the wall and turn them loose on you." Roderick turned to Hilda, his eyes large. Then he ran out the door, screaming for his mother. "See? And no magic," Hilda grinned at the pink witch.
7. Royalty
A servant entered the nursery. "Honourable witches and wizard, the princess asked me to take you to her and the prince."
They followed the servant, leaving the two complaining boys stuck to the wall. As long as they were there, no harm would come from their side. The two cats were on the shoulders of their respective magicals as they strode through the halls.
The room where Snow White and Prince Jordan resided was big and quite crowded. For some obscured reason, King Walt and his wife Queen Velma, Snow White's father and stepmother, were there. The others in the room were Roderick, his sister Dinna and a number of servants.
"Hello, your Royal Highnesses," Hilda said. Then she looked at the prince. "Good grief, you've become flabby."
Prince Jordan got up. "I do not want anyone to strike such a tone to me. Not even a witch," he said. "And where are my other sons?"
"Don't worry about them, they're safe." Hilda's look had a challenge in it. She ignored his warning, of course, because not even a prince should strike a tone like that to her.
Jordan did not pick up the verbal gauntlet, he knew he'd never win. "My dear wife asked me about something strange. Cats as big as a man?"
"Not any man of course," Baba Yaga pitched in with a silent jab. "Hello your Princeness, I am Baba Yaga, here to help my friends with this little problem you have here." She explained about the cat hair they had found. "So we wonder if there are catty animals of that size."
Jordan thought for a while. "No. Never heard of that." He looked at Hilda and William. "The only way to get cat hair up like you described is, I'd say, carry them like you do."
"Yes. Or toss them," Babs nodded. Grimalkin and Obsi meowed in unison and protest.
"Hmm. That might be an option, if the cat in question allows tossing," Queen Velma said. "Most cats don't."
"She is the one that stuck me to the ceiling," Dinna suddenly announced, pointing at Hilda.
"She what?" Walt, Velma and Jordan looked at the little princess.
"She stuck me to the ceiling. And he had to get me down, because Esmee didn't."
Before Jordan could turn to Hilda, Snow White started explaining what had happened, and how. Dinna did not look happy as her intended victory over Hilda was reduced to sheer nothing. Only the fact she had been against the ceiling remained, and Jordan agreed that had been deserved.
"And if you're looking for the other two, they're still against the wall of the nursery," Hilda added. "They were being somewhat of a pest, so we put them away for a while. To cool off, so to speak."
"Against the wall?" Snow White as well as Jordan were not prepared for that. "Why don't they come in here then?"
"Well, they can't get off the wall without the help of these people," Esmee pitched in her little bit. "The boys were really somewhat of a nuisance." Her voice still carried some of her anger about the boys' behaviour. Jordan look as if he was unable to believe that.
"Cauldron fodder," Baba Yaga added innocently as Prince Jordan left the room.
Shortly after that a howl penetrated the room. It was clear that Prince Jordan had found his sons, stuck to the wall. And getting them off it had proven loudly impossible. The prince came into the parlour again. "Could someone please get my sons from that wall? I refuse to speak any more until they are free again."
"Sounds like a fair trade," Baba Yaga said. "I'd go for the quiet, Hilda. Not trying to influence you of course."
Hilda sighed, casting a resigning look at her friend. She walked out and liberated the twin princes. After that, Prince Jordan said that there was nothing more he could say.
"Well, at least we know what we wanted to know," the witch said. "Maybe now is a good moment to say goodbye and retreat to our rooms, to see what next steps we'll take. I take it that you have a room for Babs here, right?"
"Oh, cert
ainly," said Snow White. "The one next to yours is still free, I will see to it that it is prepared."
"Good good," said Hilda. "We will go and have a walk." She took William's hand. "Babs, are you coming? And Esmee, we may need you as well."
Baba Yaga took Esmee's arm. "Come on, no escaping, no excuses. You're wanted, so you come."
The pink witch didn't even try to resist when the crone witch dragged her from the room.
Once the magical people had left, Prince Jordan belched. "I'm sorry."
His wife slapped him. "Next time be sorry before you do that, Jordan. And otherwise keep it inside you until the children are gone."
Dicky and Billy were sitting on the couch, eating chocolates. They both belched.
-=-=-
"Where are we going? We are not going far, are we? I have other things to do, you know." Esmee was not feeling comfortable as she was taken along. Her ordeal ended as they had reached the room of Hilda and William.
"Sit." Esmee sat.
"We're going to scout outside. Tonight." Hilda sat on the bed. The cats did so too. "I am going to take the first watch. Esmee, you will take the second one. William does the third and if nothing happened, we've all lost some good sleep-time."
Esmee frowned as she worked out the schedule. "We three? What about Baba Yaga?" The old witch just looked at Esmee. "Oh. I see." The pink witch frowned again. "We are going to look for the cat, aren't we?"
"Someone please give that witch a gold star," Baba Yaga said. She produced one and handed it to Esmee who stared at it. "And you will get another one if you catch the cat."
William asked what Hilda had in mind in case one of them spotted the cat. "We should have something of a cage ready, I think," he suggested, "and slap the beastie in it with some magic."
"Excuse me?" Esmee held up her hand. "My magic is not strong enough to do something like that."
"Sounds like you get a double shift, Willy," Baba Yaga giggled. It was an eerie sound. "Unless we pimp this little witch a bit." The old witch looked at Esmee. "Let's see..." Esmee's pouch flew into Baba Yaga's hands. "Not strong enough. Indeed."
Esmee looked aghast. "You cannot-"
"I should not be able to, Esmee," said Baba Yaga, "but since I can, it looks like you and I have a bit of work to do before this evening." She became very serious. "We don't know what we are up against. Since cats this big don't grow on trees, we can only assume it is something else."
"Indeed," Hilda took over. "And we may be facing something magical here, since we cannot find any footprints or paw prints, or something like that. And since we cannot estimate what it is we're facing, we should make sure everyone of us is up to level to take it on."
Esmee's lower lip trembled. "But..."
"Don't worry, kid, I'll make sure you are up to level before the night comes," said Baba Yaga. "Come, be a good flower witch and show me where your room is. Always works best in a place where you're most comfortable." She guided Esmee out of the room.
William looked at them go. "I don't envy either one of them. And you did not warn Babs about the room."
Hilda shrugged. "She'll find out soon enough. Come. Let's go and see if we can find enough iron to make a big cage."
It took them a while and it cost king Louie several fences, but Hilda and William got the cage the way they wanted it. "I still think we could have asked someone for iron somewhere," William said.
"Oh, please, come off that, William. These fences were hideous and you know that too," Hilda said as she was in the cage, yanking the bars. "And also, if we're going to catch something on royal land, we might as well provide a royal cage." She smiled victoriously.
"You are terrible," William declared.
"I know," Hilda agreed as she slammed the cage-door shut and shook that a few times. "I think this would hold, don't you think?"
William tested the door also. "Feels strong, indeed." Then he grinned. "This is the first time I have you caged, sweetwitch."
"Enjoy the moment, wizard, it will also be the last time," Hilda said as she made the lock pop open. With a satisfied snicker she left the cage.
A loud bang made them look towards the castle, from where glass flew all around. The glass was followed by a chair. "I dare guess that Babs has moved on to speed-learning for Esmee," Hilda commented. "We'll wait with fixing the windows until they stopped their exercising." A second window blew, underlining the insight of the witch.
"We should wait a bit further away too," William noticed. The glass of this second window almost reached them.
"You have a point. This one was probably done by Babs. Nothing like a good example to show-" a third blast took her words away "- and now would be a good time to see what is going on there. King Louie won't like it when they break down his castle just for training."
They summoned their brooms and flew high, to be out of the danger zone. When they reached the corridor where Esmee had her room, the full extent of the exercises became clear. Half a wall was gone, as was most of the stuff inside the room of the flower witch. Babs hung over a bedpost, laughing, and Esmee herself lay crumpled in a corner, her blue eyes wide open and a look of fright on her face. Servants were running around, trying to salvage precious paintings and statues there were in the corridor. None of them dared as much as look at the room that was the centre of the devastation.
William picked Esmee from the floor. "Are you okay?"
"Okay... okay..." That was all the now motley looking witch could stammer. She had never been further from okay.
Hilda tried to calm down Baba Yaga who was almost in a laughing stupor. It took Hilda quite a while to calm down her friend, time that William used to put Esmee on a chair, close up the wall and make a bit of order in the room again. He handed Esmee a glass of wine; the pink witch drank it down in a few long gulps and asked for more.
"So, what happened here?" Hilda wanted to know. What followed was quite a hilarious account of things from Baba Yaga, who collapsed with laughter a few more times. She had only stirred up some magic and Esmee had tapped into it, Babs said. And then it was as if Esmee had exploded. That was all.
Esmee was still very much out of it, even after another glass of wine. "I'm not sure if she'll be any use to you tonight," Baba Yaga commented as they put the pink witch in her bed.
The three turned as the door opened. Prince Jordan came in, with one of the twins. He obviously had waited until the dust had gone down. "What happened here?" he asked, eyeing the room.
Hilda gave him the summary version of what Baba Yaga had told them, leaving out the magical bits the prince wouldn't understand anyway. It all made for a three sentence and unrevealing explanation that was in no way representable of the state of the room.
The prince nodded understandingly though. "Will any of you make sure that the hall outside will be presentable again? My mother will be very upset when she sees all the dust out there."
"Surely you are not asking us to use a broom the ordinary way?" Hilda asked him. She would accept a lot, but not that. Not even from a prince.
"Actually, I-" he started. Then he spotted Hilda's expression "-wouldn't dare, Grimhilda. Plenty of people around to handle that. If you could do something about the windows, though, that would be nice. Thank you." Jordan grabbed his son by the hand and left.
8. Cat hunt
Hilda and Babs had taken care of the windows. William had seen to it that Esmee was more like herself again, although Baba Yaga's treatment had certainly had effect already. Esmee cursed at just about everything that could go wrong.
"It is an effect that will diminish," Baba Yaga had assured him. "Things like that can happen when the person in training is - uhm - slightly overwhelmed."
William was certain that Esmee had been overwhelmed. And more than 'slightly'. Four glasses of wine had calmed her down a bit, but the magical ones had decided that they would all share dinner in Esmee's room. It would be better.
"I wonder what stupid moron prepared this," Esmee said as she l
ooked at a chicken leg. "Look at it. Damn, wouldn't feed that to a cat!" Two black specimens of the mentioned kind complained about that; they would not refuse a chicken leg.
The door opened. Snow White came in, not adorned with child this time except for the one that was still on the way. "Are you doing well in here?"
"Of course we're fine, we're witches, dammit," Esmee replied.
"Uhm. Oh. Well, I was wondering-"
"No need for that. If there is smmffff-"
By then William held his hand over Esmee's lips. "Sorry about that, princess. She's not quite herself yet," he apologised. as he felt Esmee's lips part he pulled back his hand and applied some magic. Being bitten by a witch was not very high on his list. Esmee stared at him, not understanding what had happened for a moment. Baba Yaga chuckled.