by Amy Gamet
She wrapped her arms around herself, suddenly cold. "Me, too." She was so very hurt, the pain unlike anything she’d ever known.
"Hard to believe it’s only been a week," he said, the casual tone of his voice mocking her emotions.
It was the best week of mine.
She wanted to sob. This wasn’t happening. She nodded, forcing a pleasant expression on her face, desperate to convince him she could be casual, too. "It was fun."
He furrowed his brow. "Fun?"
"Yeah, you know. We had some good times."
"Is that all?"
She rolled her eyes. "What do you want me to say?"
He took a step toward her, putting them face-to-face. "I want you to say it was incredible, and you don’t want me to go to California because you’d miss me too much."
"Why? So you can see how much it hurts to think about you going away?"
He moved to hold her by the shoulders, but she shrugged him off.
"It’s too late for me to get in anywhere else, Lisa. My father’s pulling strings to get me accepted this close to the semester. Don’t you think I would stay here if I could?"
"I don’t know, Greg. Would you?"
Everything had happened so fast. Too fast for her emotions to be real, too fast to feel like his leaving would tear her apart.
"Of course, I would."
"Then stay. There are medical schools here, too."
"This is the number three school in the country. My father’s alma matter. It’s what I’ve dreamed about." He shook his head. "But this isn’t the end for you and me."
"Do you really think one week together can get us through a long-distance relationship?"
"No, I guess not."
She wanted to curl up into a ball. What she felt for Greg was more of love than she’d ever hoped to find, and now it was falling through her fingers like water into the sand.
She frowned. "I don’t want to spend that time wishing you were here."
He took her hands in his. "Then come with me."
Her mouth opened, their eyes locked.
"Come with me. Come to California."
She took in the steely glint in his eye. He was serious.
She could go with him to California and see where their relationship might lead. Give herself some time to see if her feelings for Greg were all they seemed to be.
Going to California would mean leaving Moon Lake.
"But I just got home," she said.
"I know."
She dropped her head, staring at the boards in the pier. Greg was finally moving on, but leaving Moon Lake would mean walking away from her own dreams.
She shook her head. "You don’t know what you’re asking."
"Yes, I do. I’m asking you to give up the family and friends you only just now found again. I’m asking you to drop your plans and everything in your life and take a chance on me, because I love you."
Her jaw dropped.
Just a moment ago, she thought he hadn’t taken their relationship seriously, but he did. He loved her, and he wanted her to come to California with him.
The idea of leaving Moon Lake made her want to cry. She’d only just gotten home, and the relationships here needed time to grow.
Please, don’t make me choose.
She’d thought that once before, lying in Greg’s arms, afraid that caring for him would alienate her from Melanie. But while her sister came around and she was able to keep both her and Greg in her life, moving to California was a completely different type of decision.
She knew now, the only thing she’d ever really wanted was to be in Moon Lake with her family, and be loved for who she was while she was here.
That wasn’t something she could trade for a man.
Not even this one.
"I love you, too."
He smiled and she shook her head. "I love you so much, but I’m sorry, Greg. I can’t go with you."
"You love me?"
She nodded. "I’ve loved you since our first night together. Maybe before that."
"I knew it on the boat." He reached out and touched her hair, then shook his head, hard. "I was wrong. I can’t do this. I can’t leave you."
"Yes, you can."
"No. I’ll stay here with you in Moon Lake."
"No. Absolutely not. I’ll never forgive you if you stay here, Greg. This is what you’re meant to do. Please don’t let me ruin that. I couldn’t stand it."
"Come here," he said, holding out his arms.
She walked into his embrace, working to memorize the sensation of being held in his arms. She worked to make her voice sound normal. "When do you leave?"
He was quiet, and she held her breath waiting for his decision.
"They start at the end of September, but I need to find a place to live, get settled…"
She closed her eyes tightly. "When?"
"A few days."
She worked to keep her voice even. "That gives us a little more time together." But even as she said the words, she knew it wasn’t anywhere near enough.
* * *
Lisa fastened the tie of her robe and made her way downstairs in the dark. Greg was sleeping in her bed, where the two of them had been for the better part of the last three days.
She opened the fridge, squinting against the light.
One of them would have to go out for groceries soon, or they were going to run out of food.
He’s not going to be here much longer.
The thought made her frown, wondering at what moment he would decide he’d had enough and announce he was leaving for California.
She picked up a package of deli-sliced cheese and moved to the dining room table. If there was ever a day to eat cheese straight out of the package, this would be it. She glanced at the clock. The sun would be up in an hour, and the home inspector, hired by the man who was buying the house, was supposed to be here at eight.
She rested her head on the table, just as Greg’s footsteps could be heard on the stairs. She sat up. "Hey," she called. "Couldn’t sleep?"
He was wearing jeans and nothing else. "I rolled over and you were gone."
"I got the munchies."
"Is there any Chinese left?"
"Nope."
She listened to him rummaging in the refrigerator, suddenly wishing he would leave already. This waiting game, this limbo, was driving her slowly insane, wondering if each touch was her last, each kiss the final one to remember him by.
"Do you know when you’re going to go?" she asked quietly.
He straightened, the closing of the refrigerator door throwing them back into darkness.
"Today."
Lisa sniffed and dropped her chin to her chest.
"It’s not too late for you to change your mind and come with me," he said.
"I can’t."
He sat down next to her at the table, holding out his hand to her. "Your family will still love you. You’ll still be able to come back to Moon Lake and visit."
She pulled her hand back. "I don’t want to chase you."
"What does that mean?"
"If I follow you to California…"
"If you go with me," he corrected.
"Then I’d be doing that for you. But I need to do this for me right now. I know that sounds selfish. Hell, maybe it is selfish. But it’s a different kind of selfish than before. I’ve waited my whole life to be loved by these people, to really feel loved by them, and I just can’t let that go."
"Not even for me."
She closed her eyes. "Don’t say it like that."
"I’m sorry." He shook his head. "So what happens for you now?"
"My mother and sister are coming next week to help pack up the house."
"Have you decided where you’re going to live?"
"Melanie and Rafael offered me their spare room until I get on my feet." She stood and put the food away.
He stood, too. "We have some time before the inspector shows up. Want to come back to bed and cuddle with
me?"
Now that she knew he was leaving today, the seconds ticking by, their fragile cocoon was no longer. She’d been dreaming, pretending their time together could go on and on, but now it only seemed like a farce.
"I want to shower before he gets here. Maybe get started on my proposal for the mayor."
He stared at her, and as she took in his knowing expression she realized it was getting brighter outside, the night already giving way to morning.
"Come here," he said, holding out his arms, and she walked into them, inhaling the scent of his skin as if trying to remember it for a lifetime.
He kissed the top of her head. "I’m not sorry for loving you."
She squeezed him harder. "Me, either."
"I love you, Lisa."
"I know. I love you, too."
Chapter 14
Lisa stood in the hallway outside her childhood bedroom, staring at the empty space inside.
Her mother walked up beside her. "Rafael and Melanie are loading up the van, then I think that’s the end of it."
They’d been working hard, taking years and years of memories out in boxes. What had begun as an overwhelming and emotional task had turned into a special time for the Addario women.
"Good."
Her mom leaned her head against Lisa’s shoulder. "How are you holding up?"
"Better than I thought I’d be."
"You all settled in at Melanie and Rafael’s?"
"Yeah, but when I’m near those two, I feel like the gondola operator on a honeymoon ride around Venice."
Her mother chuckled. "They’re very cute together."
"That’s one word for it." Lisa sighed, looking back at the bedroom. "I didn’t think it would really happen."
"What?"
"The house. I didn’t think we were really going to sell the house."
"I know it wasn’t the choice you would have made."
"But it wasn’t my choice to make." She turned and looked at her mother. "I’m sorry I gave you such a hard time about it."
"I understand why you did. You thought if the house was gone, you could never go back and fix everything that was broken."
Lisa frowned. "You mean you and me."
Her mom nodded. "And your sister. You didn’t want us to move on without you."
"I thought it was about the house, but it’s really about family."
Her mother sighed. "It usually is. I knew you wanted things to get better between us when you stripped off that ugly wallpaper."
"How did you get to be so smart?"
"Oh," she said, chuckling, "I’ve had my own share of bad decisions and fences that needed mending."
Lisa turned and wrapped her mother in a hug, emotion bringing tears to her eyes. She’d come here to say goodbye to this woman, then been granted the gift of a new beginning. "I love you, Mom."
The contractor called up the stairs. "The cupboards are done. I’m going to head out, but I’ll put in the countertops first thing tomorrow."
"Thank you, Chuck," her mom yelled to the contractor Greg hired as his replacement.
Her mom smiled. "You want to go see the kitchen?"
"I do."
They headed downstairs.
"I’ll bet it’s going to be beautiful," said her mother. "I already love the island."
They rounded the corner from the dining room to the kitchen and Lisa’s mouth opened in surprise. The cupboards were completely installed, their wood stained a vibrant red, just as she’d wished for when she was planning her dream kitchen.
"I never would have picked that color, but they really look amazing," said her mom.
"I picked it."
"You did?"
Lisa nodded. "I didn’t think Greg would go through with it."
Her mother was staring at her. "Why didn’t you go to California with him, Lisa?"
Lisa’s eyes began to sting, and she reached up to cover them with her hands. "Please don’t do this, Mom."
"I just want to understand. It’s obvious you care for him, but still you sent him away."
"What would it say about me, if I wanted to be here, but I followed him anyway?"
Her mother narrowed her eyes. "Did I ever tell you about Donatella Delvecchio?"
"No. I think I would have remembered a name like that."
"She was in love with your father."
"What?"
Barbara nodded. "Junior year in high school. She had long black hair and the body of a Solid Gold dancer. How could I compete with that?"
"You lost me. How does this have anything to do with me and Greg?"
"Your father and I had only been dating a week or two before she set her sights on him. Your father broke up with me and I was devastated. He even took her to the junior prom."
Lisa gasped. "You’re kidding!"
"No. I didn’t eat for a week. But I fought for him, Lisa, and I won. He told me it was over between us and I fought for him. I made sure he knew how I felt about him. I went all out to show him I was sincere. I didn’t care what it looked like, or if he thought I was desperate. All I cared about was getting him back. If I’d worried about what it said about me as a person to go after him, we never would have had thirty-two happy years together. If you care about this man, go after him. Your sister and I will still be here when you get back."
"What if you’re not?"
"Oh, for crying out loud. I am alive and well."
"You say this a month after we got called to the hospital."
"It was a panic attack."
"It was scary."
Her mother touched Lisa’s shoulder. "The only thing that’s really scary about life is not living it well."
Lisa’s face fell, her mother’s words striking a chord within her.
If she never saw Greg again, she knew she’d regret her decision not to go.
"It’s okay to chase the right man, Lisa. It’s just not okay to chase them all. I think you know the difference now."
Greg was the right man.
And her family loved her and would welcome her back whenever she returned. It was a sacrifice. A big one. And one she could clearly see now was worth making.
* * *
One small light burned at the desk in Greg’s campus apartment. He rubbed his eyes, then put his glasses back on and sighed. All he had to do was write his conclusion and he’d be done for the night.
He’d been out of college too long.
Long enough to forget the late nights, or at least to remember how to handle them.
So he’d worked all day, even though it was Saturday, if only to get through to the other side of the pile and have a bit of a weekend.
Not that I have anything to do with it.
He missed Lisa like crazy. It was bad enough when he was conscious and could rationalize his emotions, but when he reached for her in the night, there was no consolation.
He’d spent the first month of the semester watching his life as if from above, wondering if all this was worth what he’d left behind. His mother told him the Addario house had well and truly sold a few days ago, and he wondered if Lisa was doing okay.
But more than anything, he wondered if she missed him.
There was a knock at the door and he glanced at the clock. Nearly midnight. He walked to the hallway, stretching his back as he went. It was probably the girl next door pretending to be out of something so she could spark up another conversation.
He opened the door, and there stood Lisa.
Feelings he didn’t know he was holding back rose up in a tidal wave of emotion. This was the woman he loved, the woman he missed more than he knew it was possible to miss another human being.
She’d come back to him after all.
He reached out and grabbed her, pulling her tightly against him, tipping her head back for his plundering kiss.
One taste and he was right back where they left off, no thought or regret. She was kissing him back, pressing her hips against his, wrapping her arms around his neck an
d twisting her fingers in his hair.
"Can I come in?" she asked.
He lifted his head long enough to take in her shining eyes, and the rosy glow on her cheeks.
"Yes."
She moved past him, and he closed the door behind her.
"But only if you take off all your clothes."
She spun around, a playfulness in her stare as she began to strip. "I will if you will."
He yanked his shirt over his head and grabbed her again, working her top off and unfastening her bra.
This was Lisa in his arms, Lisa he wasn’t sure he’d ever see again, at least not like this. He feared he would see her again, married to someone else and living in Moon Lake just to torture him.
He unzipped her jeans and pushed them over her hips.
"Tell me you’re staying for a while," he said between kisses, his body grinding against hers.
"I’ll be here as long as you’ll have me."
He raised his head. "What?"
"I’m here to stay, Greg. If you still want me to."
He couldn’t believe what he was hearing, the words failing to register.
Lisa licked her lips, her eyes wide. "I love you. I’m sorry I didn’t come right away. I didn’t know what I was doing. I was stupid, and I’m sorry."
A slow smile spread across his face. "Say that again."
"I’m stupid."
"Not that part."
"I love you." She grinned. "I want to stay."
He caught her mouth in a kiss. "I love you, too. And you aren’t going anywhere." He reached down and scooped her into his arms, carrying her to the bedroom and following her onto the bed.
"Ouch!" she said.
"Sorry!" he reached under her back and withdrew a textbook. "I think that’s the only one."
"And to think, I was worried about you sharing your bed with other women."
"Are you kidding? I can’t get you out of my mind long enough to look at another woman."
"I haven’t been able to sleep since you left."
"Me, too. I keep rolling over and being surprised all over again that you’re not there."
She touched his cheek. "I’m here now."
Greg kissed her again, letting his mind shut down and his senses take over. Lisa was here, in his arms, in his bed.
He was in medical school, holding the woman he loved, and he could imagine one day they might have a family. Every dream he ever had for himself was suddenly within his reach.