by Amy Andrews
A face-to-face goodbye.
After wheeling her bag to the front door, she backtracked across the voluminous vaulted foyer and headed for the kitchen, where she could hear the low pulse of Wade’s voice and the higher one of Sally’s. Normally at this hour, Wade would have been at the farm, but it was Sunday and everyone would be at church.
Taking a quick breath, she entered. The sight that greeted her stopped her dead in the doorway and deflated her lungs just as quickly. Wade looked up from where he was lounging against the central bench, cooing at Sally’s daughter, Mable. He was cradling her, and he looked so damn good with a baby in her arms CC could have sworn her fallopian tubes twanged a little.
Wade smiled at her. “Have you seen how much this little one has grown in two weeks?” He glanced at the baby. “She’s a honey just like her mother. But don’t let Benji know I said so,” he said, grinning at Sally.
CC’s heart thrummed in her chest. “She’s a cutie,” she acknowledged, each word feeling as if it had been surgically extracted from her vocal chords.
Sally glanced at her. “How good does Wade look with a baby?”
He looked good enough to spray with whipped cream and lick all over. But when didn’t he? “It suits him.” The words felt thick and jagged at the back of CC’s throat, but she must have sounded normal because neither Wade nor Sally looked at her funnily.
“It’s good to get in some practice,” Sally said. “Henry might be five, but if Wyatt and Jenny haven’t had a baby by the end of next year I’ll eat my hat. And uncle duties are very important.”
Wade nodded. “I’m going to kick uncle ass.”
He would, too. Wade kicked ass at everything he did.
Sally laughed and glanced at CC, no doubt expecting her to also be laughing. But CC’s face was frozen into some horrid kind of mask, and Sally’s change in expression was all the confirmation she needed. Or maybe it was the shine of tears that had to be there as her vision went glassy. The other woman frowned slightly, and, for a horrible moment, CC thought Sally was going to ask her what was wrong.
Thankfully, she didn’t.
“Well, anyway. I should get going. She’ll be kicking up a fuss soon, wanting to be nursed.”
Efficiently, the way Sally did everything, she scooped the baby out of Wade’s arms and bustled out of the kitchen, shooting CC a sympathetic smile as she brushed past. Wade watched her go, laughing and shaking his head. “I hope that kid has a crash helmet, Sally’s always been a whirlwind.”
His smile faded as his gaze settled on CC, and Wade straightened from his casual slouch. “What’s wrong?”
Shaking on the inside, CC blinked away the threatening tears and took a breath. “I’m leaving.”
He was silent for the longest time, and CC couldn’t read a damn thing on his inscrutable face. His game face. “I thought you were staying until tomorrow?”
CC shrugged. “What’s a day? Everything’s set to go for the last day of activities, and there’s a team in place to help your mother with the bus departures.”
He folded his arms, his usually relaxed features tight. “And what about me?”
CC’s heart skipped a beat. “What about you, Wade?”
“You haven’t found me a PA yet.”
She hadn’t meant to snort, it just kinda slipped out. It was that or cry. She couldn’t believe she was never going to see him again. His face, anyway. She was pretty sure his ass would be all over billboards in California, too.
“Maybe if you hadn’t rejected the four candidates I’ve already found you?”
“They weren’t right.”
“They were all perfectly capable, Wade.”
“It’s not about capable. You know that. I need an X factor.”
CC rolled her eyes. “Like what? An ability to read minds? A bullshit detector?”
His gaze didn’t leave her face. “The kind of person that’d knee their boss in the nads without caring about the ramifications.”
CC shut her eyes. How dare he take her back to that day. Now. When she was trying to leave. “Yeah, well…she’s no longer available. But don’t worry, I won’t leave you in the lurch. I said I’d find you a PA, and I will.”
“And what do I do in the meantime?”
CC grabbed a breath and prayed for patience. Maybe the man should find his own damn PA. It was her fault, she’d catered to his every whim for years and now he couldn’t even pick up a damn telephone.
“Write the book, Wade. You’re almost done.” He was up to the last few years of his career. They’d achieved a lot these past six weeks, and CC had to admit it had been a good idea to come to Credence, back to his roots. He’d actually made huge inroads to the manuscript and been more focused here. Maybe it had just been being away from the distractions of Denver, but CC felt like it was more than that.
It was as if Credence was his muse. Wasn’t that how Winona had put it?
A ghost of a smile flitted across his mouth. “That might be hard with my research assistant quitting on me.”
“You don’t need me to finish it, Wade.”
“Maybe I don’t need it, but your help with the book is invaluable, CC. Your input, your notes, your editing.”
“You can hire someone to do that.”
“Yeah, but you’re on top of what’s already been completed, and it’s hard to buy that kind of continuity. Hell, CC, you’ve pushed this book to be better with every word and every page, and I guess I stupidly thought you were as invested in this as I was.”
If he meant to make her feel guilty, then he succeeded. And he was right. Despite her opinions on a ghost writer, she was invested in the book. It felt as much hers as his.
“Fine. I can keep doing the research and beta reading on it if you want, but I can do that from anywhere, Wade. The same with managing your schedule.”
Which was what she’d suggested when he’d originally insisted she join him in Credence. She should have stuck to her guns. Hell, she should have just left then and not let him smooth talk her into another three months.
“And I can also do interviews and get someone up to speed for you. All you need to do is finish the book.”
As soon as that was done, she could officially sever all ties with him. Because having him in her inbox all the time would be just another way to keep her on the hook. And that was just plain cruel.
But, probably more importantly, he needed to do it. To finish it. For himself as well as the publisher. To prove he was someone else outside of being The Catapult. That he could make it outside of the NFL.
“Did something happen? Between yesterday when your plans were to leave tomorrow morning and now?”
“No.”
CC shook her head even as the leggy blonde from yesterday floated into her head. The anonymous woman had kept her company all night, no matter how hard CC had tried to shake her image. Because, as CC had finally realized in the wee small hours, the blonde was the personification of all the reasons why CC couldn’t entertain the thoughts she’d been having.
Thoughts that had been heading decidedly in the direction of her and Wade becoming something more.
Becoming a couple.
For a start, she wasn’t a tall, leggy blonde with a body like one of those curvy Rocky Mountain back roads. She was short and dark-haired and petite. She wasn’t his type. But for damn sure, there was always going to be some blonde or other hanging around.
CC was always going to have to contend with women who thought that because Wade was a celebrity the normal rules of relationships—fidelity and monogamy—didn’t apply to him.
That they could flirt with impunity.
And she couldn’t do that. Couldn’t sit by and watch it unfold. Or be amused by it like so many celebrity wives. After her father’s affair had thrown a bomb into their family life, fidelity was her line in
the sand. And even if Wade never cheated, she wasn’t sure she had the emotional fortitude to watch their bond come under constant attack.
CC didn’t want to have to fight off women from here to eternity, but she’d be naive to think that wasn’t going to be her lot.
And even if she could get past the blonde thing, the man hadn’t had a relationship the entire time she’d known him. He didn’t do longevity. He was a serial dater. That was just the way he worked.
CC, on the other hand, didn’t go out with guys who only wanted some laughs and some sexy fun times between the sheets. She was totally up for sexy fun times between the sheets, and she already knew that Wade was pretty damn gifted in that department, but she didn’t hit the mattress with any guy who wasn’t interested in starting something serious.
That was just the way she worked.
“Nothing happened, Wade. It’s just…time. I think we both know that.”
He sighed and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Are you sure I can’t change your mind? I don’t want it to end like this. After all we’ve been through together. My career and then my retirement and building a brand outside football. And…Nebraska. It shouldn’t be like this.”
CC almost laughed. It was because of Nebraska it was like this. Or maybe it wasn’t, maybe Nebraska had just been the physical manifestation of the things she’d started to feel about him since coming to Credence.
“Maybe not.” She hadn’t wanted it to end like this, either. “But this is the way it is.”
“Hell, CC, I didn’t even get you a going away gift.”
A going away gift? Considering she was the one who bought all that stuff for him, she’d have liked to see him try. What would he consider an appropriate token of his appreciation?
A gold watch? A fountain pen? Like they were just…colleagues.
She bit down on her lip. The only thing she wanted from him she was pretty sure he didn’t know how to give, and she dared not even articulate it out loud—not even to herself. “It’s okay. I got one for you.” She fished in her pocket, searching for the packet of Nerds she’d found at the bottom of her bag. “Here.” She pulled them out and tossed them to him. The last packet of Nerds she’d ever give him. “There’s more in your desk drawers to tide you over.”
He caught them perfectly with his big, safe quarterback hand. She wouldn’t have expected anything else.
“I’m going to see my mom for a week, and then I’m heading to California. I’ll get someone to pack up the apartment in Denver as soon as I can arrange it.”
He took a step toward her. “There’s no rush, CC.”
CC shook her head and held up her hand to keep him back. She wasn’t sure why. Whether it was a rejection of his words or a warning to stop where he was. But he heeded both. The faster this was severed, the better. Agreeing to continue helping him with his book was going to drag it out enough without leaving all her crap in a place he was going to need for his new PA.
“I’ll let you know when I make arrangements. I’ll also sort out something for George and Wilburta, because I want them with me.”
He frowned. “I’m not sure you can keep a pig in a domestic situation in California.”
CC shot him a don’t fuck with me on this look. No way was Wilburta ending up on a Christmas platter somewhere. “I’ll work it out.”
“Okay.” He held his hands up in surrender. “Sure.”
She pushed off the doorway. This was her big exit and, unlike Scarlett O’Hara, she wasn’t going to give Wade a single hint of how much emotion she had bubbling under the surface.
She was really doing it. She was really leaving.
“Goodbye, Wade,” she said, and, before he could reply, she turned and walked away, her legs as wobbly as dental floss.
…
By Monday the whole town knew that CC had left for good, and Wade was utterly sick of being asked about her. It was a relief to get away from the gossip and curiosity as well as the afternoon heat in Annie’s for a bit. There were only one or two patrons, and Wade was pleased to be able to hide himself away in one of her old booths. She approached him with her standard coffee pot, and he held up his empty cup.
“Annie, you are a sight for sore eyes. I could kill for coffee.”
Even her deadly black tar.
It was a far cry from the subtlety of a city espresso, but right now it suited his mood—strong and bitter.
“And I’ll have a slice of your peach pie, please. Actually, make that two.”
Annie didn’t pour him coffee. Nor did she greet him with her usual curmudgeonly affection. She simply said, “No.”
Wade blinked. “What?”
“Wade Carter, what on earth did you do to that sweet child?”
He sighed and put the cup back on the saucer. It was bad enough his mother had been on his case. “Annie…”
“Don’t you Annie me. She was supposed to be here all summer. She was going to help me set up a Facebook page for the diner.”
“A Facebook page?” Surely if Annie wanted to go all new century on them, her first stop should have been a proper coffee machine? Thank God there was soon going to be one of those in Credence.
Finally.
Wade laughed but sobered quickly as Annie’s lips thinned. “It’s a free country, Annie. I can’t lock her up and keep her prisoner in the house.”
Though dear God, he’d been tempted.
Wade had worked his ass off to keep things normal between them because he’d thought she’d want it that way, but every time he saw her he was right back in bed with her, those desperate breathy pants falling from her lips, stroking his ear. And parts significantly lower.
Erections? Hundreds. Productivity? Zero.
He’d known even as he was doing it that sleeping with CC would be different to the other women he’d taken to his bed. That he couldn’t just be one and done with her because they worked closely together. But he hadn’t expected to be consumed with what they’d shared. The last time a woman had ruined his focus so badly, it had been Jasmine, and he had no desire to ever repeat that train wreck.
“No. But you could pay her more, right?” Annie demanded. “Did you offer her a big fat bonus check?”
“I did indeed,” he said morosely.
“Well it obviously wasn’t enough. Good Lord, Wade, you’re richer than God. What’s the matter with you?”
Wade suspected Annie would be shocked to know how much he’d paid CC over the last almost-six years. And that was without the car he’d bought her and her rent-free apartment. But it wasn’t actually any of her business how much he paid his PA.
Or whether he was, or was not, richer than God.
“Come on, Annie,” Wade coaxed with one of his winning smiles. His momma always said you caught more flies with honey. “Cut me a break, here. I wish she was still here, too, but it’s my name on the welcome sign.” He held up his cup.
“Yeah, but I like her better than you.”
If Wade had been drinking his nonexistent coffee from his cup right now, he’d have probably choked on it. It seemed like everybody in town had suddenly adopted his PA as their long-lost daughter. “I was born here. I had to practically drag CC here.”
Annie humphed. Annie humphed better than anyone he knew. With her entire body. “Maybe. But at least she embraced us all while she was here. Unlike you, who lives less than two hours up the road in your fancy Denver apartment but only graces us with your presence twice a year, if your momma is lucky, and spends your whole time bellyaching about redneck drivers and”—she lifted the pot a little higher, the line of liquid sloshing around—“no decent coffee.”
Wade was embarrassed to meet Annie’s eye over the coffee thing and embarrassed to be called on his cavalier attitude toward his hometown. It was true, coming back to Credence in recent years had been done more out of dut
y than anything else.
“Oh yeah, I hear that. I see and hear everything, Wade Carter.”
Annie said it in such a way that, for one horrible moment, he wondered if she somehow knew about Nebraska in some kind of weird, witchy female way.
Wade certainly knew when he was beat. He placed his cup on the chipped tabletop. “So, I’m not getting coffee?”
Annie shot him a sardonic smile. “Pretty smart for a city slicker.” And she walked on.
Chapter Twenty-Three
A week later, Wade had written the sum total of three pages and deleted them about a dozen times a day. He was up to the CC years now, and he didn’t know how to start. He couldn’t even ask her because she wasn’t here, and he didn’t want to email and ask because he felt like he should know how to start, and he didn’t want her to think her departure had affected him so badly he’d developed some kind of writer’s block.
Especially when he’d been doing so well since moving to Credence.
But the first thirty-two years of his life had been a cakewalk next to this. Even the darkest time of his career, when his dick had been splashed over every tabloid in the country, had been a walk in the park compared to getting down the last five and a half years.
It was as if his life had been divided into two. Before CC and after CC.
When had that happened?
He reached across his desk for his packet of Nerds and gave it his customary shake. He loved that rattle noise they made. Sadly, there was no rattle forthcoming.
Damn it. Empty.
He opened his desk drawer. None. He opened the one on the other side. Also none. He felt in his pockets and the pocket of his hoodie thrown over the back of his chair. Still nothing. He couldn’t possibly have eaten his entire supply of Nerds, surely?
Wade stood, annoyed at his dependence on candy and even more annoyed at CC for supplying it—like some fucking drug dealer. Quickly, he shut his computer down. There wouldn’t be any Nerds at Jack’s, but there would be beer.
Wade strode into the bar ten minutes later. The customers had increased over the last month with more women staying at the boardinghouse in town, and Jack’s had become the drop-in place for people to meet.