She draped her arm over her eyes and sighed, “When you left to join the military I didn’t expect to see you again, I waited for a letter or a phone call every day, and when you didn’t contact me I closed that chapter of my life,”
Perhaps I could have made some effort, but still there was no excuse for her to keep the pregnancy from me, “I know I could have written but I was dealing with a lot of shit, you know that.”
“I do, and I was also dealing with a lot. I found out I was pregnant, Damien had no idea where you were stationed, and I had no way of contacting you. Time went by too quickly to figure out how to find you.”
“So why now?”
She sat up and looked at me; her eyes were glistening with tears.
“Braden is a troubled child. Damien and the psychologist suggested I contact you since it may help him get better,” she started to say and I felt the sting of disappointment linger at the realization that if circumstances were any different, I would still be oblivious to my own son’s existence. But Damien’s words to me reminded me to listen to her and instead of voicing my own opinion I rubbed my forehead and gave her time to continue.
She told me all about Braden and his past life regression, which explained the stories he told me. It was a strange one to say the least, how on earth was I going to help him with all that. She rambled on, finally telling me that the psychologist suggested that she introduces Braden to me since he lacks the much-needed father figure in his life.
“So let me get this straight, if he was normal, you would never have contacted me?”
“This is not about us Caleb, it’s about our son, he needs help, and the psychologist suggested I find you. We parted ways on bad terms a long time ago; surely you didn’t expect me to just fall over my feet to find you?”
“No I didn’t but I reckon a child is a pretty big thing,” I objected.
“You think I don’t know that? Love is a sham, you said, it’s something I can live without, you said, I never want kids, you said. Pray-tell what did you expect me to do with all that?”
I stood up and cracked my knuckles, how dare she hold that against me. I was bloody pissed that day when my dad decided to leave my mom for someone only five years older than me. Those words were said in anger.
“People say things in anger when they are hurt. You can’t be that ignorant that you would think I really meant what I said,” I said raising my voice just a fraction.
“Your silence spoke volumes, thank you very much,” she retorted and stood up shoving me out of the way, but as she stepped, she lost her footing and tumbled into the pool.
I didn’t think twice before I too jumped in, clothes and all. Instinctively I gathered her in my arms; knowing she had a phobia for water ever since her near drowning incident when she was only six. But instead of accepting my help she pushed at my chest and swam to the corner of the pool.
“I’m not an invalid, I can swim,” she spluttered and held unto the edge of the pool.
“Since when? The last time I recalled you hated water,” I said and swam towards her.
“I got over all that.”
I couldn’t help but find her little outburst adorable, and despite everything that had happened, I wanted her, right here right now. Not even the cold water in the pool could constrict the blood flow down south.
I slipped my arm around her waist turning her to face me. Her green eyes were wide and although uncertainty lingered behind the windows of her soul I could see that somewhere in that chaos was the affection I used to see when we were young and in love. Although I had no intentions of settling down soon, the fact remained, I still wanted her and as I dropped my head and captured her lips I let out an audible groan. To my disappointment it was short lived. At first she didn’t protest, she opened her lips and our tongues swept over each other’s but in a split second she pulled away and hastily lifted herself out of the pool and fled into the house, leaving a nothing but a watery trail behind her.
Maybe it was for the best; attempting anything more would just complicate matters. I had a comfortable life, a big enough bank balance to support her and Braden for the rest of their lives.
“Keep it simple,” I said to myself before lifting myself out of the pool.
Chapter 9
Raedene
I was a complete mess after that kiss a few days ago. Especially knowing that it would have been so easy to give in to Caleb, but I just couldn’t. I may have known him years ago, but so much time had passed from then to now. And although I may not have paid attention to the sport headlines it soon dawned on me that he was somewhat of a rugby celebrity and that was just a little too overwhelming. Having long overstayed my welcome according to me, myself and I, I was desperate to get back home, but Caleb was making it practically impossible for me to budge. He spent nearly every day with Braden and watching my son blossom like a real four-year-old was worth the torture I had to endure. Okay fine, it wasn’t exactly torture, it was worse. It was self-inflicted stupidity. I pussy footed around Caleb all the time, sometimes sneaking around like a mouse in a cattery, expecting to be pounced on any moment. All things considered, one thing was certain, we were not leaving any time soon and since we might as well get comfortable I was going to have to make a trip to town and stock up on clothes and other necessities.
I quickly tied my hair in an untidy bun and made my way downstairs to find Samson. As I reached the bottom of the staircase, the doorbell rang, it was just past eight o’clock in the morning and curiosity got the better of me, especially when Caleb came stalking past me, so I quickly snuck into the kitchen and stood listening.
“What do you want?” Caleb said sounding irritated, which was nothing out of the ordinary, but when the visitor spoke I froze.
“Mr Hayes, is it true that you have an illegitimate child that you only found out about now?”
“It’s none of your business,” I heard him say in threatening tone.
“Will you be claiming custody of your son?”
There were a few clicking sounds that undoubtedly belonged to a camera. How on earth did they know about Braden? Joanne – brilliant, just brilliant, she was a real piece of work.
“I said, it’s none of your business, get out before I have you forcibly removed.”
“Will you be marrying Miss Callaway?”
“I said get the hell out of here, Miss Callaway and her son has nothing to do with you!” he shouted and this time I heard the door bang shut – Miss Callaway and her son – he didn’t even acknowledge Braden as his. As I turned around Braden was standing behind me rubbing his eyes.
“Rae I’m thirsty,” he said in a croaky voice, and as usual calling me by my first name, but I was so used to it that it hardly bothered me anymore. I simply picked him up in my arms and lifted him unto the kitchen counter.
“Come here sweetheart; let me get you some water, what do you say we go out and get some ice cream later?” I said and gave him a glass of water. I had to get out of here, get some distance between Caleb and I, and I needed to clear my head.
“Is Uncle Caleb going too?” he asked.
“I think he’s a little busy today, we won’t be out long,” I said and took the cup from him.
“I want him to go with,” Braden insisted with a pouty lip.
“Not today,” I said which only aggravated the situation.
Braden started kicking his legs and wailing about wanting Caleb to go with and nothing I did or say could calm him down. I was about to storm out of the kitchen when Caleb appeared next to me.
“Did I hear ice cream?” he asked and just like that Braden calmed down.
Oh my god, I hate you! “I wanted to take Braden out for ice cream and let you have some time to yourself,” I said blankly turning my back to them.
“Why don’t I order pizza and ice cream and we can stay here,” he suggested instead and I instantly had my back up.
“So you can hide us from the vultures?” I bit out coldly.
&nbs
p; “Rae…”
“Don’t you Rae me! You couldn’t even admit that Braden was...” I started but bit back my words. I couldn’t very well drop the bomb on Braden that Caleb was his dad, “Forget it, order pizza. I have things to go do, so if you could watch Braden for the morning that would be great.”
I kissed Braden on his forehead and smiled at him, “Caleb will spend the morning with you, mommy has to go and do a few things.”
Braden’s eyes lit up and my heart sank. He really loved spending time with Caleb; I just wish he would open up to me like he did to his dad.
I didn’t even look at Caleb, I simply walked out to find Samson and see if he could take me to town, I was in desperate need of good old fashioned retail therapy.
Chapter 10
Raedene
I stayed out most of the day, and only returned much later that afternoon when the sun was already setting. Throughout the day I kept checking my phone for a message from Caleb, but it never came. I knew that he would have called if things were getting too much and as much as it killed me I had to force myself not to run home and cuddle Braden. I had to simply let the two of them bond. When I got back to the house, both Caleb and Braden were asleep on a bed of pillows in front of the TV, pizza boxes scattered on the floor and game controls haphazardly lying next to them.
I gathered the pizza boxes and quietly went through to the kitchen. Caleb connected with Braden unlike anyone else, for the first time my son was doing things other boys his age did, instead of sitting in the corner of his room reminiscing about his imaginary family. If I had to take this away from him he would be devastated. But staying here would do my heart an injustice. I may still have feelings for Caleb, but I highly doubted he felt the same. He never even bothered to talk to me after our failed kiss, much less acknowledge his son to the reporter that showed up earlier this morning.
“Did you enjoy your day out?” Caleb suddenly said behind me and as I spun around I almost smashed both pizza boxes into him, but before that could happen I clutched them in my arms and crushed them against my chest. I could feel the left-over mozzarella cheese and toppings plaster against my new top.
“Oh my god, are you deliberately trying to scare me to death?” I cried out and dropped both boxes on the counter grabbing the paper towels.
Caleb didn’t even flinch, he just looked at me with this dead pan expression on his face, and my insides twisted.
“I’m sorry, I thought you heard me come in,” he said and tossed me a dish rag, “So did you have fun shopping?”
“It was pleasant, how was Braden,” I asked quickly changing the subject.
“He was fine.”
There was clearly something on Caleb’s mind, he didn’t quite sound like himself, and I felt an uncomfortable shiver run down my spine.
“I’m glad you spent some alone time with him,” I said and turned my back on him to escape his scolding gaze.
“Why did you come here exactly?”
Well that was a little out of the blue, I’m sure I told him why I was here, “I told you why I am here, and the psychologist suggested it.”
“Yeah I know what the psychologist suggested, but I want to know what you are doing here.”
He took a step closer and I retreated, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, the only thing that is of any significance is getting Braden better.”
“There’s nothing wrong with him, he has a great imagination, and he’s just misunderstood.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” I blurted out, how did he dare suggest that I misunderstood my own son.
“What I meant to say is, you need to embrace all of him, that includes his other family too,” he said calmly.
“Did you speak to the psychologist?” I asked fumingly.
“No, I did not, but I wasn’t that much different from him, so I know exactly what he’s going through. When I was a toddler I always thought I was adopted, it was like that until I was about seven years old.”
That bowled me over. Caleb also had an imaginary family. Suddenly the whole concept of Lamarckism made perfect sense. I had no idea what to say to that, I simply stared at him.
“Braden needs both of us to help him through and get him to realize that we are just as important as his other family. The reason he pushes you away is because he is scared of losing his mother again,” Caleb said and walked to the fridge to take out a bottle of water.
I never thought of it that way and the realization of what my little boy must be going through swept over me like a flood. He looked at me for a moment and then turned to leave, “Don’t ever walk away from him again,” and then he headed for the living room.
Chapter 11
Caleb
“I learned from the best,” Rae said with such loathing, the devil himself would cringe. Instead of defending herself, she was quick to hand out punches and this game was starting to get really old.
I stopped in my tracks, turned and looked pointedly at her, “I left because it was my duty to go and defend my country, I didn’t just leave because I wanted to.”
I knew that was a blatant lie, I left because of my own selfish reasons, and as much as I tried to convince myself otherwise, I knew the truth.
“And I left because it was my duty to go do my hair,” she bit out sarcastically.
God but she was beautiful when she was angry. Her green eyes grew a shade darker as if a storm cloud had descended overhead, and that expression alone should be terrifying, but to me it was a challenge. If I could break through that storm and survive to tell the tale I can challenge any storm that ever crossed my path.
With determination, I crossed the distance between us and cupped her face, green lightning bolts cascaded in her eyes like a thunderstorm on Jupiter. I slid one hand around the back of her neck and crushed my lips against hers. Half expecting her to shove me away, I was relieved to feel her fingers dig into my biceps as she clung to me; she wasn’t fighting me this time. Her lips parted and I delved into the confines of her mouth, and her tongue met mine like a perfect dance partner. I dragged her body flush against mine and I felt her soft breasts press against my chest. My body was on fire and rigid in every sense of the word. The pent-up desire I have tried to ignore since she waltzed into my life again was reaching breaking point. I tilted her back and slid my one hand up to cup her left breast as I trailed my lips down the side of her neck to her shoulder.
“Caleb,” I heard her whisper my name.
“Rae,” I countered.
“Caleb,” damn I loved the sound of her hushed voice and the way my name rolled off her lips.
“Caleb,” she said a little louder this time and shoved lightly against me, but before I could lose all hope, she pointed at Braden.
“Damn, it’s taking some time getting used to a little person in the house,” I said and then grabbed her hand and led her to the nearest isolated spot in the house – the pantry.
By the time I had her cornered between the canned food and condiments she was already fumbling clumsily with the drawstring of my sweats, and I was not far behind. The simple cotton dress she wore was no deterrent for me and I quickly shoved her panties down her long legs and I lifted her up against one of the shelves.
“You know this is never going to work,” she said as she wrapped her legs around my waist.
“You’re right, this damn pantry is too small, but right now it will have to do,” I said huskily.
I knew she wasn’t referring to the confined space of the pantry, but I chose to ignore the obvious. I spun around and knocked the potatoes off the crate that stood in the corner of the pantry and sat down with her straddling my lap and she slowly lowered herself unto my rock-hard length. And as I buried myself deep into her I felt her body tighten around me. With one hand splayed across her back, I dipped my head down and tugged on her hardened nipple through her dress.
“You feel so good,” I whispered as I dragged my lips up to hers.
“Shh,” she said
as she held unto my shoulders and slowly started to rock her hips back and forth. Her eyes fell closed and her lips parted while the rapid bursts of her breath fanned my face. She put a spell on me, of that much I was certain, but it was one I would welcome any day. With each deliberate stroke, she bit her lip in an attempt to stifle a moan. I tried my utmost not to vocalize just how I felt this very moment, which was near impossible.
Each time her hips rose I gasped for a breath and each time they fell taking my length deep into her velvet centre I groaned. She too started panting breathlessly and the erratic movements of her hips were bringing me closer and closer to my own release. I could hardly stand it anymore, I bucked my hips upwards, rougher and harder and she met me each time. And when she bent forward and buried her face in my neck she cried out and clung to me as her body shook in my embrace. That was all I needed, every muscle in my body drew taught and with one last thrust I buried myself deep inside her, filling her with my own essence, and in the confines of the pantry it was only the two of us, and nothing else mattered.
As our frantic heart beats slowed down I held her close against me, burying my face in the crook of her neck inhaling her scent.
“This is never going to work Caleb,” she said as she stood up to fix her dress.
A few days ago, that was exactly what I thought – this would never work – but now I wasn’t so sure if it was just stupidity talking. I stood and pulled her into my arms and cradled her neck pressing my lips against her hair. I couldn’t agree or disagree, this was already far more complex than I anticipated.
Chapter 12
Raedene
Daddy's Christmas Date: A Single Dad Romance Page 29