Dawn of Valor

by Lindsay McKenna

  Chase followed her. “Look, what’s a little kiss? If it’s mutual, there’s nothing wrong with it,” he argued quickly.

  Using a cup, Rachel rinsed Fred off. “Your kisses always go a lot further, Chase. That’s what I have a problem with.” Her heart was pounding unevenly, and she had the distinct impression that Chase was preparing to kiss her. Rattled, Rachel looked around. No one else was in the area. She didn’t know whether to be glad or scared. His mouth was curved in a devil-may-care grin, melting her resolve, making her yearn to feel the strength of it against her lips once again.

  Chase uncrossed his arms, holding them up in a gesture of conciliation. “What if I restrain myself, Rachel?”

  She eyed him, placing Fred on a towel, beginning to pat the dog dry. Almost blurting out that she was more afraid that she couldn’t restrain herself, Rachel dodged the question, refusing to answer Chase.

  “Look,” he urged, “we like each other. A lot. You know how hard I tried to locate you after we got to safety. Doesn’t that prove something?”

  “I guess…”

  Chase sensed Rachel’s sudden shyness. Checking to make sure no one was around, he gently took her by the shoulders, forcing her to turn and face him. Fred was wrapped in a white towel against her breast, looking up at him expectantly.

  “Listen,” Chase said huskily, drawing her as close as the puppy would allow, “I like you, Rachel.” He caressed her tense shoulders. “I go to sleep thinking about you. I dream about you. Sometimes,” he grimaced, “I find myself thinking about you instead of concentrating on flying.”

  Her eyes grew troubled. “No, Chase, don’t do that. I’d never forgive myself if something happened to you on a flight—”

  “Sh, Angel Eyes.” He smiled tenderly, his hands drifting upward, framing her flushed face. “Show me how much you like me with a kiss. Just a kiss…”

  Fred whined and lunged upward, his long pink tongue relishing Chase’s jaw. Chase stepped back, surprised. Rachel burst out laughing. He grinned belatedly and joined her.

  Sheepishly he wiped his jaw dry with the back of his hand. “I guess I had that coming.”

  The fear left Rachel and she relaxed as Chase placed his hands on her shoulders again. Laughter still danced in her eyes.

  “Does that make Fred a groper?” Chase teased mercilessly, drowning in her lovely green gaze.

  “I—” Rachel giggled, placing the towel over Fred’s head to keep him warm—and contained. “I guess not.”

  Chase lost some of his merriment, his fingers firm against her shoulders. “I don’t want you worrying about my flying. Okay?”

  Hesitantly Rachel nodded, the air turning serious. “I’ll try not to.” She couldn’t tear her gaze from his mobile mouth.

  “May I kiss you?”

  Chase’s low voice tremored through her. “Don’t,” she pleaded softly, “do this to us.” Rachel tried to move from his grip, but he kept his hands firmly on her arms. Weakness moved through her. She recalled Chase’s skilled loving, and an ache began deep within her. Shaking her head, Rachel whispered, “This is all wrong, Chase. You want the kiss, that’s all, nothing more.”

  He drew closer. “That’s not true, Rachel. I’m treating you as an equal from here on out. I’m being a gentleman about this. What do you want?” he murmured. “Tell me….”

  His hot, gritty voice plunged through her, making her shaky. Chase was so close, so pulverizingly male. Her lashes fluttered shut as she leaned forward, answering his question. The first brush of his mouth was ethereal, almost reverent. Parting her lips, Rachel leaned upward, wanting more, urgency pounding through her. The second time, his mouth molded hotly against her own, erasing all thought, creating a lavalike world of heat that exploded through her lower body. His mouth was firm, seeking and searching hers. As his tongue traced her lower lip, a little cry vibrated in her throat. The effect was melting, her breathing becoming fast and erratic.

  “Sweet,” Chase whispered hoarsely, trying to control himself. “You’re so sweet and clean, Rachel….” And he tasted each corner of her mouth, feeling her lower lip tremble in reaction. She was soft, womanly, and the pain in his loins grew unbearable. Chase tried to remain aware of Rachel’s needs instead of his own. As he reluctantly drew away, he saw how red her cheeks had become. As her lashes lifted to reveal lustrous eyes dazed with pleasure, a shaft of longing nearly shattered his resolve. His hands tightening momentarily on her face, he smiled sheepishly, releasing her. “I’ve gone far enough,” Chase said thickly.

  Reeling from his sweet assault on her senses, Rachel could only stare up into Chase’s craggy features. The burning fire in his eyes made her boil with want of him in ways she wasn’t familiar with but longed to explore. “I—” She was breathless.

  Smiling, Chase took the puppy from her. “Come on, I think you’d better sit down before you fall down, Angel Eyes.” He led her over to a chair.

  Rachel tried to take a deep breath and found it impossible. Her thoughts were scattered, and all she could do was feel. When Chase crouched down in front of her, gently drying the puppy with the towel, her heart squeezed with renewed love for him. For all his swaggering male ego, he was a kind man underneath.

  “I was wondering if you might take care of Fred for a couple of weeks. I can’t keep him at my tent because I’m not there most of the time.”

  Rachel nodded. “Of course…” Her voice came out as wispy as she felt.

  Chase looked up, realizing Rachel was twice as shaken as he was by their kiss. It served to warn him that it was definitely his responsibility to control his own needs for her benefit. He offered her an understanding smile. “See what I mean?” he posed softly.

  Dazed, caught in the web of unfamiliar sensations racing through her, Rachel looked blankly at Chase. “About what?” she whispered unsteadily, touching her lips, still tingling with the memory of his evocative kiss.

  “About us,” he whispered. “We’re good for each other, Angel Eyes. We’re good together. All I have to do is convince you.”

  Sadness clawed at her momentary happiness. “Chase, you can’t do this anymore. Please. It isn’t going to work!”

  He gloated, completing the drying procedure on Fred. “This is just the beginning,” he promised her huskily. “Just wait and see.”

  Taking a breath, Rachel picked up Fred, letting the dog sit in her lap. “You aren’t even listening to me!”

  Trying to look contrite, Chase rose to his full height, barely suppressing the glowing smile of triumph he felt over finally getting Rachel to admit that she liked being kissed by him. “You’re right.”

  Placing Fred on the chair with the towel draped around him, Rachel stood, her eyes blazing. “We aren’t going to work, Chase. Look at you. You’re like a little boy standing there after stealing that kiss from me.”

  “Well, you enjoyed it, didn’t you?”

  Angry at her own weakness where Chase was concerned, Rachel muttered, “Yes.”

  “What else is there, then?”

  She paced the length of the room. “Commitment, Chase. Proving you’re responsible, that’s what!”

  He opened his hands. “I thought I was. I’m here, aren’t I?”

  Rolling her eyes, Rachel stopped in front of him. “You’re here to steal a kiss…anything you can get, that’s all.”

  Wanting to throttle her, Chase stared down at her. “You’re wrong.”

  “I wish I was, but I’m not. Just because I don’t have much experience in the realm of lovemaking doesn’t mean I don’t see through men and their lines, Chase, so don’t try and snow me.”

  Raking his fingers through his hair, he began to pace, mulling over her statements. “This isn’t simple,” he growled. He halted, giving her a significant glance. “You’re not simple.”

  “Just another reason why we shouldn’t see each other anymore, Chase.”

  “No way,” he ground out. “Dammit, we’ve got monumental communication problems, but I’m not giving
up on us, what we share, Rachel.”

  “All we share is sex, Chase. That’s a lousy start to any relationship!”

  Shaken by her cry, Chase watched sudden tears form in her eyes but not fall. Shoving his hands into his pockets, he stood there a long time. “What do you want from me?”

  “How about a decent conversation without stalking me and trying to touch or kiss me?”

  “God, Rachel, it’s tough to keep my hands off you.”

  She glared at him. “Precisely my point. Please, why don’t you go? I’m sure Hob will be needing you or something.”

  Angry with himself and her, he looked at the watch on his wrist. “You’re right, I’ve got to go. Hob isn’t exactly the good fairy granting wishes. He told me if I wasn’t back in an hour, he’d skin me alive.” Chase forced himself to walk to the door, though he burned to do anything but that. His hand on the knob, he turned, looking across the tent at Rachel. She appeared positively bereft and so did Fred. “One thing,” he said. “What’s your favorite color?”

  “Color?” Rachel blinked, still fighting her own need for him and their impossible situation. “I—blue.”

  “Blue.” He nodded. “That suits you,” he murmured.

  “Why?”

  “Oh,” he murmured, “I’ve got my reasons.” He threw her a mock salute. “I’ll be back, Rachel. Somehow, we’re going to talk our way through this mess I’ve created.”

  Rachel felt hope burn strongly alongside the defeat she’d been feeling. Chase would never change. “Please…be careful flying, Chase.”

  “Let my best girl down by getting shot out of the sky? No way.” He grinned. “See you later, angel. Take good care of our puppy, huh?”

  He was gone. Rachel stood in the silence, petting Fred’s damp fur, acutely feeling the loss of Chase’s presence. He was incredibly cavalier about the fact that he faced death every time he flew. Rachel picked Fred up and held him against her, burying her face in his fur.

  Emotions, like a multicolored rainbow after a rain, skimmed through her opened heart. Rachel saw Chase trying to control himself and be a gentleman. But it was impossible. His respect for women was in the bedroom, that was all. And then there was the irrepressible little-boy spirit that she dearly loved. Lastly, there was the man who drew out her femininity like a spring blossom, and that frightened her. Rachel didn’t know what to expect. Where did a kiss end and going too far before marriage begin? Chase had not mentioned marriage, nor would he ever.

  Opening her eyes, Rachel smiled sadly down at the puppy who was enjoying her absent but loving caresses. Each time Chase left, the parting was more painful, less easy to overcome. Rising to her feet, Rachel took Fred over to the towel cabinet. Wrapping the damp puppy in a dry one, she left admissions, heading for her tent.

  Chapter Nine

  Chase could hardly control his eagerness to see Rachel. He stood in the admissions tent, a brown paper parcel beneath his left arm. Although she’d asked him not to come back, he wasn’t going to give up. Instead, he’d radioed over and found out when her next day off was going to be. Rachel had been supposed to have the day off, but when wounded were unexpectedly routed by helicopter to this MASH unit, she’d been called back into the surgery until the crisis was past.

  Glumly Chase stared out the door, weeks of fatigue stalking him in earnest. He blinked his burning eyes. Sleep had been at a premium since he’d last seen Rachel. In the distance now he could see their flower field. But most of the flowers had been frost-bitten, the color bleached from their petals. That was how he felt about Rachel. When he’d left two weeks ago, all the joy had disappeared from his life. And that kiss! Chase closed his eyes, his arm tightening around the package slightly. Rachel was innocent and sweet. Despite her spirit and independence, she had placed herself in his arms for that one devastating night that had rocked his world.

  Chase grumbled to himself. All he thought about day or night, in or out of sleep, was Rachel. What little sleep he’d gotten was in snatches of two or three hours at a time. Still, Rachel was with him in those dreams. He twisted a look over his shoulder. He’d arrived two hours ago, and now he waited with thinning patience. Their day together was being eaten away by this latest emergency. At 1700 he had to be back at Taegu for a night mission. He ached to see Rachel again. He was starved for the sound of her voice, the warmth dancing in her green eyes and that playful smile on her sensuous lips. But he’d seen precious little of that side he knew existed within her. What would she think of him showing up here unannounced?

  Two hours turned into three. It was noon, and Chase reluctantly headed into the officer’s chow tent within the MASH complex after leaving a message at the desk with a corpsman about where he could be located in case Rachel came out of surgery. Exhaustion dragged at his every step. He longed to lie down somewhere and simply go to sleep.

  At the chow tent, despair settled around Chase. He sat at a wooden table, his tray piled high with hot food, not really hungry. Normally he’d be delighted to have some “real” food instead of canned C rations.

  The lowered voices of a few nurses and doctors lingered in the tent. The pleasant clank of utensils against the aluminum tray reminded him sharply of home. It was almost Thanksgiving, and he could remember the happy times when his family prepared to eat a huge midday meal of turkey. This year, he wouldn’t be celebrating any holidays with them.

  “Chase?”

  Startled out of his reverie, Chase rose to his feet at the sound of Rachel’s astonished voice. The table tilted and his tray started to slide. Rachel reached out and caught it. Chase promptly sat down, his face a dull red. He pulled the tray back to where it belonged.

  “What are you doing here?”

  He managed an embarrassed smile. “I came to see you.”

  She stood uncertainly, a tray balanced in her hands. Noting that several people were watching her, Rachel sat down opposite Chase.

  Chase saw the purse to her lips. “Are you mad?”

  “No.”

  “You look exhausted.”

  She glanced up at him. “So do you.”

  “Things are tough all over,” he muttered, smiling.

  Chase’s smile went straight through her like sunlight on a dark, cloudy day. Unable to maintain her sour look, Rachel relaxed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you out of your wits earlier. You were the last person I expected to see in the chow tent.”

  “That’s okay….” Chase gazed happily at Rachel. In that moment, with her black hair shining and curved into a well-behaved page boy, she looked girlish. His heart exploded with such joy that it caught Chase off guard. “I managed to grab a couple hours and wanted to come over and talk.”

  The fork stopped midway to Rachel’s mouth. “Talk?”

  Chase felt heat crawling up his cheeks. “Yeah, talk. Not grope, stalk or kiss. Okay?”

  She eyed him for a long time, trying to decide whether he was being honest. “Chase, a leopard doesn’t change his spots.”

  “But those spots can be lightened?”

  “Maybe…”

  “Willing to give me a chance at just talking, then?”

  Rachel smiled and shook her head. “You’re tenacious, I’ll give you that.”

  “Part of my family’s genes. Do you have a couple of minutes to spare? You look pretty busy around here.”

  “We had four helicopters of wounded arrive unexpectedly.” She ate lightly, noticing that Chase was sitting, simply staring at her. Rachel fought a similar urge. She had missed Chase acutely. There was a soul-shattering intensity in the look he gave her.

  His throat constricted, Chase whispered, “You look more beautiful than I could ever imagine.” All he wanted to do was lean across the table, frame her face and capture those soft lips, making Rachel his once again.

  Chase would never change, but did she want him to? Rachel couldn’t tell his line from his sincerity. She laid her fork on her tray. “You look tired, Chase. Have you been flying too many missions?”
Indeed, the dark shadows beneath his eyes were more pronounced than two weeks ago. And Chase looked as if he’d lost some weight. Still, he was heart-stoppingly handsome in his tan flight suit, his garrison cap captured beneath one epaulet of the leather jacket.

  What was left of Chase’s appetite fled. “There have been a lot,” he hedged, not wanting her to worry. Chase shoved the tray aside, folding his hands on the table, all his concentration on Rachel. He grinned bashfully. “It’s probably a good thing you can’t read my mind, Angel Eyes.” The color rose in her cheeks, making her excruciatingly beautiful.

  “You’re right.” Rachel touched her warm cheek.

  “Did you miss me?”

  She raised an eyebrow at him. “If I admit it, will I ever hear the end of it, Captain?”

  Grinning, Chase shrugged. “Probably not. I’ve been charged before with having a swelled ego. How’s our dog, Fred?”

  “Becoming a fat little sausage. He’s the mascot for the MASH unit now. He’s figured out that if he goes from tent to tent, scratching on the door, he can get multiple meals.”

  Chuckling, Chase nodded. “The little beggar.”

  Her smile slipped. “You really do look exhausted.”

  “Things are heating up. The U.N. forces are actively pushing out of the Pusan area and expanding their perimeter before the snow falls. All the pilots are flying two missions a day. Sometimes three.”

  Rachel gasped. “Three? Chase, that’s too many! Look at you. You’ve lost weight, and you’ve got dark circles under your eyes.”

  He nodded patiently, hope springing to life in him. If Rachel didn’t care, she wouldn’t be concerned about his condition. “It can’t be helped, Rachel. It’s just the way things are right now.”

  “Doesn’t it affect your flying?”

  “Sure.” When he saw the anxiety in her eyes, Chase hastily amended the statement. “Well, sometimes. Remember, all we gotta do is fly. We have a crew chief who services the plane. Between missions, I go to the tent and sleep.”

  Distressed, Rachel took a few more bites then pushed the tray aside. Suddenly the possibility of losing him was too much to bear, despite their obtuse relationship. Rachel didn’t know what to do with the unexpected feelings slamming through her. “Come on, let’s go to my tent. It’s too cold and windy to go for a walk in the field today.” She waited to see him gloat or get that stalking look in his eye, but to her surprise, he didn’t.