by Mary Ramsey
I made my way to my room, wondering what it would take to calm London’s impulsiveness. It took me a few minutes to gather the courage to wake Jen, who was deep asleep after a long day of sightseeing.
“Go ’way.”
I gulped. This was a lot to drop on her so suddenly. “Honey, we have to pack.”
“What, why?”
“We’re going back to Japan.”
She knuckled her eyes. When she pulled her hands away, she was scowling. “Since when? Why can’t we just go home?”
“It’s been really hard getting work at home. I figured we could do this one last trip, fill the bank, get my name on a few more books, then I’ll have enough experience to support us all long-term.”
Jen groaned as she swung her feet onto the floor. “Sean, I’m really not too sure about this.”
I wasn’t sure if this was the sleepiness talking, or if I had reason to be concerned. “You loved Japan.”
“I loved it as a vacation, but not as our life.”
“But London says—”
“Of course, she does.”
The way she muttered shook me to the core. I watched her get to her feet and pace the floor. “What? Look, London’s been a godsend. She got us a place to live, she gave me my career … she even paid for your dad’s surgery and rehab—”
“So, I owe her my husband?”
Her words took me by surprise. Yes, I could stand to spend more time with my family, but I had no idea she was so unhappy. “Do you want to go home?”
London entered the room with Shauna on her shoulders. My little girl’s smile was a mile wide. “Daddy, London says we’re going back to Japan.”
It was an effort not to glare at my friend. Sponsor or not, she could’ve given me more than five minutes to discuss things instead of boxing us into a corner. I smiled at my daughter. “Maybe, sweetheart, but we might be going home instead.”
“Home?” Shauna’s smile fell.
As did London’s. “You’re kidding right? Japan’s a sure thing.”
I glanced at Jen, who’d gone stiff-faced. “London, some of us are tired,” I said nervously.
“Not you, Sean. You’re a star.” London put down Shauna and encouraged her to run into the hall and pack her best toys into her little case. “Someday you’ll burn out, but right now you’re on fire.”
Jen followed Shauna. “Fine, I guess I’m outvoted.”
I tried to go after them, but London stopped me. “She’ll be fine. This is your time. She gets that. Like you say, she’s just tired.”
Six
London and I had a week to relax in Japan before our first booked jobs. I tried to spend as much time as I could with my family, but nothing I did seemed to help the situation with Jen. She stayed in bed for the first few days, forcing me and London to take Shauna with us wherever we went, but always had dinner on the table for us when we got back—sometimes home-cooked, other times takeout.
I assumed she just needed some time to herself, which seemed fair. Big upheaval, and all that.
“Tell your mommy where we went today,” London said to Shauna as she unloaded an armful of shopping bags.
“London took me and Daddy shopping for new clothes to wear to the water park,” she said happily.
“She doesn’t know how to swim,” Jen said, focusing on laying the takeout onto the table.
“She loves the water.” I shrugged.
London picked up Shauna, holding her on her lap as they ate colorful round sushi rolls. “She has a soul for adventure, just like her daddy.”
“I’m sure,” Jen muttered.
“You could come too,” I added. “We’re not trying to exclude you.”
“Yeah, you don’t have to be such a killjoy,” said London.
I caught London’s eye, giving her a warning glance. “She needs a little personal time. Once we start going on auditions, Jen will have her hands full.”
My first shoot in round two of Japan was for a Halloween costume manufacturer. London got to pose as a sexy ax murderer, a sexy turkey—though I wouldn’t have thought that was possible—and a sexy version of a certain older male political figure, just to name a few. I got to be a sexy cowboy, then a samurai. None of the other models were Asian either, since the costumes would be sold in cheap dollar stores throughout North America.
London’s agent also managed to land us several catalog gigs for local Japanese brands. Then, as a special treat, she worked her magic and got us an audition for a certain Japanese video game console manufacturer that was launching a new system.
We both landed the gig. Along with various other models from around the world, we had a whole day of playing games on the unreleased system. A crew walked around the set from start to finish, filming and taking still shots.
“I actually don’t own any of their systems,” I admitted as I took on London in a fighting game filled with adorable characters.
“I’ll buy you one.”
I looked at her. “Really?” As my attention was diverted, her princess character landed a fatal blow to my spaceman. “Thanks. I think.”
“Yeah, with games for Shauna. I see the M-rated stuff you and Sara play. Shauna should have some cute titles with princesses and cartoon animals made of yarn.”
“And there I was hoping to buy Call of Duty 2,” I replied with a sarcastic smirk. She had a point, though.
Eight days later, the hammer fell. London had pissed off dozens of very powerful producers in Paris and Italy by being a little too open on Facebook about the reasons for her move back to the Far East. We weren’t too surprised to be disturbed by a loud, aggressive banging at the door the night after an article was published which named London as one of several “diva” models who’d gotten a little too big for their boots. Jen stood up, looking at London, who was on her computer. I was sitting on the floor with my daughter, playing with her dolls.
“Your mother?” Jen prompted.
“Let her in,” London said, not looking away from the screen.
Jen opened the door to reveal Linda Sharp wearing a bright red suit, looking like a furious movie version of a she-devil.
“Hey, Mom,” London said casually.
Linda’s eyes were filled with rage as she stomped into the den. “Can I speak to you privately?”
“Nope,” London declared. “I’m answering fan mail. And anything you want to say to me you can say in front of my friends.”
“You pissed off a lot of people,” Linda said to her daughter’s back. “These people are my friends, and you’re humiliating me. How dare you?”
Much as I loved London, I was a little embarrassed at the single, sulky shrug she gave, still not looking away from her screen. Or maybe London had become immune to her mom’s way of speaking to people over the years.
“You might think you’re having some cute kind of rebellion against me, but all you’re really doing is burning bridges.” For another long minute she scowled at London, who still wouldn’t give her a moment of her time. Eventually, she sighed. Turned to me. “Maybe I’ll have better luck with you.”
“Huh?” I glanced from Jen to Linda and back again, feeling totally put on the spot.
“Your blonde surfer look is killing in South Asia. You could be swimming in work in Thailand, the Philippines—just about everywhere north of Australia.”
I watched Jen’s face, waiting for her to look horrified, but she didn’t.
Linda sat on the edge of the couch, looking me right in the eye. “I guarantee you I can help build your career both here and state-side, if you’re willing to separate from my daughter for a while.”
I noticed Jen’s eyes light up. Maybe it was what we needed. Time to ourselves as a couple again. On the other hand, I owed London everything. I wanted her mother to realize that. “I would need access to my meds. London has been handling all of that. I couldn’t have made it out here without her.”
She turned to London. “Sweetie, how long would it take you to secure
him a three-month supply?”
London finally looked away from her screen, swiveling on her seat. She looked calm, but sad. Resigned, almost. “Sean, do you want to separate?”
I was hesitant. I loved London. She was fun, cool and nothing but a true friend. But I wanted her to be proud of me. I wanted to show off how much I had learned. “You’ve been so good to me, but I can’t lean on you forever.”
Linda sat on the floor by my side. “I can make your career. Just let me give you a jumpstart.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw London nodding, like she was forgiving me in advance. My time with her had been nothing but fun, but this new opportunity was too good for me to pass up—particularly the part about landing on my feet again once we’d gotten home. I gave Linda a nervous smile. “Sure, I guess.”
“Good. I’ll be in touch.”
After she left, the room was quiet. I was just wondering where to start with talking to them about this huge, sudden decision I’d just made when London’s computer made a strange chiming sound.
She swiveled her chair back to face the screen. “I have a message from Johnny.”
I looked over her shoulder as London messaged back to ask if he wanted to Skype. He confirmed he did, so she logged in and looked back at us over her shoulder. “Jen, Shauna, Johnny says he needs to talk to us. Do you want to sit in on a live stream?”
Shauna squealed with delight, making it impossible for either of us to say no. I didn’t meet Jen’s eye, figuring we could both handle that little habit of London’s for a few days longer.
I took a seat between London and Jen, holding Shauna on my lap. London started the stream. On the screen was Johnny, sitting alone at the kitchen table.
“Do you have the ring?” London asked excitedly.
“Yeah, I have it right here.” Johnny held it up to the camera. It was an anatomical heart created out of sterling silver, with veins caressing a gold band.
It was the ugliest thing I had ever seen. “That looks disgusting.”
Jen slugged me in the ribs.
I laughed. “It is!”
“I want to ask her to marry me, I really do,” Johnny said, shaking his head.
“Oh! I need a piece of paper!” I grabbed a nearby pen and wrote, “Are you being held hostage? Blink once for yes.”
Jen rolled her eyes.
Johnny glanced over to the bedrooms and then leaned into the camera. “Can I please just tell you what happened today?”
Up close, it was pretty clear he was upset. I nodded, feeling a little bad about giving him a hard time. “Go for it, man. We’re all here for you.”
Johnny took a breath. “I woke up early to go shopping for a special dinner. When I got back Sara was still asleep, since she’d been up all night working on a paper. I put on a pot of coffee and started on my homemade cinnamon rolls. Sara got up at around ten, grabbed a roll and some coffee, then immediately went to the sofa to channel-surf.”
I frowned. “Were you pissed that she didn’t really want to talk to you?”
“Not at that point. She works hard. She deserves to relax. She found a horror movie about a medical school student who became a stripper/assassin, and it wasn’t something I wanted to sit though again. Anyway, I went to the kitchen to work on the miso broth for dinner, and by the time my prep work was done, she’d finished the movie and started playing some disgusting medical dissection game. I joined in, and things were just fine all afternoon.”
Jen leaned forward. “But then …?”
“I made dinner. Also fine, though she didn’t really comment like she was eating anything special. Afterward, I told her I wanted to take her to Japan. And that was when she got all pissed off at me.”
London sighed. “Because she wasn’t able to follow all of us to Japan in the first place?”
Johnny nodded. “She’s been acting like I nailed her to the floor. She’s the one who wants to be a doctor, which kind of means graduating, right?”
I struggled to get my head around this. Maybe my workaholic sister finally burned out. Perhaps she was going through a rebellious phase. But that only half made sense: wouldn’t a break away do her good if she was getting tired of her own life plans?
Johnny couldn’t stop fidgeting. “She tossed her food in the trash and stormed to the bedroom. I felt like the air had been sucked out of my lungs. But the worst was yet to come. When I asked her what the problem was, she looked me in the eyes and said, ‘It’s not like you’re going to pay for anything. Who’s giving you the money? London? Or is it Sean?’”
My mouth was hanging open. I could not believe Sara even had it in her to be so callous.
Johnny covered his face. “I wanted to call her … never mind.”
I was grateful to him for remembering Shauna. I hopped her off my lap and asked her to go play for a few minutes. “Go on,” I insisted when she pouted. “Uncle Johnny wouldn’t want you to see him upset.”
Johnny gave me a crooked smile once she’d moved out of his eyeshot. “Thanks. Anyway …” He dipped his voice. “She went into this rant about me never asking her what she wants to do if she has time out of college. Apparently, I’m a bad boyfriend for trying to surprise her.”
“Then what?”
Johnny shrugged. “Well, that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I had my van. I’m only a tattoo apprentice, so I could easily cut and run. So, I pulled down my duffle bag and started to pack.”
I glared. “You were going to leave her?”
“Yeah, but then Sara held me; she was crying, begging me to stop. We’re just about talking again now. I told her I’d stick around, see how things work out, but that I can’t do this anymore. I can’t love her on her terms only.” He lowered his head, steadying himself. “I just don’t know what to do.”
“Well, you’re still there. Good.” I felt for the guy. Seriously. “Your relationship’s great when it’s passionate, but it’s also like a rollercoaster, with Sara going full speed while you’re just trying to hold on. She whips you around like a rag doll because she always has to be the one in control.”
“That’s exactly it,” Johnny said sadly, looking away from the camera. “I just don’t know if I can take a lifetime of …”
“Getting hit in the balls?” I laughed at my own joke.
“Johnny, are you talking to Sean?”
Johnny jumped at Sara’s voice, but waved her over. “Yeah, did you want to say hello?”
Sara took a seat next to him at the table, scraping the chair sideways across the floor. “Hey guys … wow. What a bunch of long faces. Let me guess … he’s been telling you about our eventful day?”
I nodded, a little shocked by the harshness in her expression, and the nasty side-eye she gave Johnny. If she wanted him to stick around, she was doing a bad job of showing it. I cleared my throat. “I think you owe him an apology for the way you reacted to his offer to take you to Japan.”
“I have something to say in my defense,” she said to Johnny. “This piece of evidence in no way justifies how I treated you, but it put me in a bad place.” Sara took out her phone and pulled up an image, holding it up to the camera. “Suzanna sent me this.”
I had to squint to make out the picture, but the image was of Diego and his wife lounging by the pool. She appeared to be sitting on his lap.
“What the fuck?” I shouted. “Suzanna’s out of prison already?” I looked to Jen, who was staring like she’d gone catatonic. “Hey, babe.” I nudged her. “You okay?”
Her eyes were huge. “My dad … took her back?”
Shauna had run back over and was already climbing up into my lap to see what the fuss was about. She looked at the image. “Who’s that?”
I let Jen answer, since the color was coming back into her face.
“Grandpa has a special friend who is technically my mommy.”
Shauna looked confused.
“She’s my mother, but not a mommy,” Jen went on. “A mommy is someone who loves
their child. A mommy is a good person who would never hurt her family. That’s why that woman’s not my mommy, she’s not your grandma, she’s just … Grandpa’s friend.” Jen got up and walked to the bathroom. “God! I can’t believe he took her back!”
Shauna looked at me. “Is she a special friend, like Remy?”
I looked back at Sara. “What happened to Remy?”
“He’s here. With us.” Sara started to cry. “Diego walked out on him. After everything Remy helped him through …”
Suddenly, Remy himself walked into the kitchen, shirtless, and put his arms around Sara from behind. “It’s okay,” he said as he kissed her neck. “Oh, hi Sean.”
There was silence on my end of the line. I may have been misjudging the situation but what I saw looked strange to say the least. Remy was acting like Johnny wasn’t even there. I had no idea what to make of the way Sara was acting.
“Have you checked your email, Sean?” Sara asked.
“What? Um, no.”
“I sent you something.”
I reached for my phone, and sure enough there was a message. Sara had discovered the identity of my doppelganger. “Jayden Clarke?”
“He worked in North Dakota as a nurse, and then moved out west to make a new start.”
Sara’s message contained additional links and images, but I wasn’t in the mood for playing detective just yet. “Interesting.”
“Or you could say thanks for taking the time to hunt him down.”
“Thanks,” I muttered, needled by her tone.
“You can contact him. I included his business email.”
“His business email?”
“I got it from his published graduate thesis, so I assume it’s his professional contact information.”
“Has he written to you?”
“Not yet.”
“So, this might not even be his correct contact information.”
“Or he’s a practicing physician who’s super busy.” Sara rolled her eyes. “I’m going back to bed.” I watched her disappear from view of the webcam, towing Remy along behind her.
“I guess that’s everything,” Johnny said, once the bedroom door had thumped shut.