by Meg Cabot
Then Michael got in beside me and closed the door, and Hans started to drive and Lars said, 'Good morning,' to Lilly and Michael and they said 'Good morning' back and I didn't even notice that Lars was smirking behind his latte until Lilly told
me later.
'Like,' she said, 'we didn't all know what you were doing out there.'
But she said it in a nice way.
I was so happy, I hardly even heard what Lilly was talking about on our way to school, which was the whole movie thing.
She had sent, she said, a registered letter to the producers of the movie of my life, but still had received no response, even though it was now over a week.
'It is,' Lilly said, 'just another example of how those Hollywood types think they can get away with whatever they want.
Well, I'm here to tell them they can't. If I don't hear back from them by tomorrow, I'm going to the news media.'
That got my attention. I blinked at her. 'You mean you're going to have a press conference?'
'Why not?' Lilly shrugged. 'You did it, and up until recently, you could barely formulate a coherent sentence in front of a camera. So how hard can it be?'
Wow. Lilly is really mad about this movie thing. I guess I'm going to have to watch it myself to see how bad it is. If Tina is anything to go by, the other kids at school don't seem to have thought much about it. But then they were all in St. Moritz
or their winter homes in Ojai when it came on. They were too busy skiing or having fun in the sun to watch any stupid made-for-TV movie about the life of one of their classmates.
From the look of the number of casts people are wearing - Tina was by far not the only one to sprain something on her vacation - everyone had a much better time on their break than I did. Even Michael says he spent most of the time at his grandparents' condo sitting on the balcony and writing songs for his new band.
I guess I am the only one who passed the whole of my break sitting in parliamentary sessions, trying to negotiate parking
rates for casino garages in downtown Genovia.
Still, it's good to be back. It's good to be back because for the first time in my whole entire academic career, the guy I like actually likes — maybe even loves — me back. And I get to see him between classes and in Gifted and Talented fifth period—
Oh, my God! I totally forgot! It is a new semester! They are assigning us all new schedules! They are passing them out at the end of Homeroom, after the announcements. What if Michael and I aren't in the same Gifted and Talented class any more?
I am not even supposed to be in Gifted and Talented at all, seeing as how I am neither. They only put me in there when it became clear I was flunking Algebra, so I have an extra period for independent study. I was supposed to be in Tech. Ed.
for that period. TECH. ED.! WHERE THEY MAKE YOU BUILD SPICE RACKS!
Second semester is Domestic Arts. IF I GET PUT IN DOMESTIC ARTS THIS SEMESTER INSTEAD OF GIFTED
AND TALENTED I WILL DIE!!!!!!!
Because I ended up getting a B minus in Algebra last semester. They don't give you independent study periods if you are making B minuses. B minus is considered good. Except, you know, to Greenpeace.
Oh, God, I knew it. I just KNEW something bad was going to happen if I didn't wear my Queen Amidala underwear.
So, if I'm not in G and T, then the only time I will see Michael will be at lunch and between classes. Because he is a senior,
and I am only a freshman, so it's not like I'll be in advanced calculus with him, or that he'll be in French 2 with me.
And I might not even be able to see him at lunch! We could conceivably not have the same lunch periods!
And even if we do, what is the likelihood that Michael and I are even going to sit together at lunch? Traditionally I have
always sat with Lilly or Tina, and Michael has always sat with the Computer Club and upperclassmen. Is he going to come
sit by rne now? No way can I go sit at his table. All those guys over there ever do is talk about things I don't understand,
like plasma screens and how easy it is to hack into India's missile defence system . . .
Oh, God, they are passing out the new class schedules now. Please don't let me be in Domestic Arts. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
Tuesday, January 19,
Algebra
HA! My Queen Amidala underwear might be missing, but the power of the Force is with me nonetheless. My class schedule
is EXACTLY the same as last semester's, except that by some miracle I now have Bio. third period instead of World Civ.
(Oh, God, please don't let Kenny, my former Bio. partner and ex-boyfriend, have been switched to third period Bio., too). World Civ. is now seventh. And instead of PE fourth period, we all have Health and Safety.
And no Tech. Ed. or Domestic Arts, thank GOD!!!!! I don't know who told the administration that I am gifted and talented, but whoever it was, I am eternally grateful, and I will definitely try to live up to it.
I also happen to know that not only does Michael still have fifth period G and T, but he has the same lunch hour as I do, too.
I know that because after I got here to Algebra and had sat down and got out my notebook (I always seem to remember all
my notebooks on the first day of the semester. It is just the rest of the year I forget them) and my Algebra I-II textbook, Michael came in!
Yes, he came right into Mr G's second semester freshman Algebra class, like he belonged there, or something, and everyone was staring at him, including Lana Weinberger, because you know seniors don't generally just go walking into freshman
classes, unless they are working for the attendance office and bringing someone a hall pass or something.
But Michael doesn't work for the attendance office. He popped into Mr G's class just to see me. I know because he came
right up to my desk with his class schedule in his hand and went, 'What lunch have you got?' and I told him, A,' and he said, 'Same as me. You have G and T after?' and I said, 'Yes,' and he said, 'Cool, see you at lunch.'
Then he turned around and walked out again, looking all tall and collegiate with his Jansport backpack and New
Balances.
And the way he said, 'Hey, Mr G,' all casually to Mr Gianini - who was sitting at his desk with a cup of coffee in his hands
and his eyebrows all raised - as he went walking out.
Well, you just can't get cooler than that. And he had been in here to see me. ME, MIA THERMOPOLIS. Formerly the
most unpopular person in the entire school, with the exception of that guy who doesn't like corn in his chilli.
So now everyone who had not seen Michael and me kissing at the Non-Denominational Winter Dance knows that we are going out, because you don't walk into someone else's classroom between periods to look at their schedule unless you are dating.
I could feel all the gazes of my fellow Algebra sufferers boring into me, including Lana Weinberger's, even as the bell was ringing. You could practically hear everybody going, 'He's going out with her?'
And I guess it is a little hard to believe. I mean, even I can hardly believe it's true. Because of course it's common knowledge that Michael's the third best-looking boy in the whole school, after Josh Richter and Justin Baxendale (though if you ask me, having seen Michael plenty of times without a shirt on, he makes those other guys look like that Quasimodo dude), so what is he doing with me, a biological freak with feet the size of skis and no breasts to speak of and nostrils that flare when I lie?
Plus I am a lowly freshman, and Michael is a senior who has already been accepted early-decision to an Ivy League school right here in Manhattan. Plus Michael is co-valedictorian of his class, being a straight-A student, whereas I barely scraped by Algebra I. Plus Michael is way involved with extra-curriculars, including the Computer Club, Chess Club and Physics Club.
He designed the school's website. He can play, like, ten instruments. And now he is starting his own band.
Me? Yeah. I'm a princess.
And that's about it.
And that's only recently. Before I found out I was a princess, I was just this massive reject who was flunking Algebra and always had orange cat-hair all over her school uniform.
So yeah, I guess you could say that a lot of people were kind of surprised to see Michael Moscovitz come striding up to my desk in Algebra to compare class schedules. I could feel them all staring at me after he left and the bell rang, and I could hear them buzzing about it among themselves. Mr G tried to bring everybody to order, going, 'OK, OK, break's over. I know it's been a long time since you last saw one another, but we've got a lot to tackle in the next nine weeks,' only of course nobody paid any attention to him but me.
In the desk in front of me, Lana Weinberger was already on her mobile - the new one that I'd paid for, on account of my
having stomped her old one to bits in a semi-psychotic fit last month - going, 'Shel? You are not going to believe what just happened. You know that freaky girl in your Latin class, the one with the TV show and the flat face? Yeah, well, her
brother was just in here comparing class schedules with Mia Thermopo—'
Unfortunately for Lana, Mr Gianini has a thing about mobile usage during class time. He fully pounced on her, snatched her phone away, put it up to his ear and said, 'Ms Weinberger can't speak to you right now as she is busy writing a thousand-
word essay on how rude it is to make mobile phone calls during class time,' after which he threw her phone in his desk
drawer and told her she'd get it back at the end of the day, once she'd handed in her essay.
I wish Mr G would give Lana's mobile phone to me, instead. I would fully use it in a more responsible manner than she does.
But I guess even if the teacher is your stepdad, he can't just confiscate things from other students and give them to you.
Which is a bummer because I could really use a mobile phone right now. I just remembered I never asked my mom what Grandmere wanted when she called last night.
Oh, crud. Integers. Gotta go.
B = (x : x is an integer such that x > 0)
Defn: When integer is squared the result is called a perfect square.
Tuesday, January 19th,
Health and Safety
This is so boring - MT
You're telling me. How many times in our academic careers are they going to tell us having unprotected sex
can result in unwanted pregnancy and AIDS? Do they think it didn't soak in the first jive thousand times or something? - LM
Apparently. Hey, did you see Mr Wheeton open the door to the teachers' lounge, look at Mademoiselle Klein, then leave? He is so obviously in love with her.
I know, you can slightly tell, he is always bringing her lattesfrom Ho's. What is THAT about, if not luv?
Wahim will be devastated if they start going out.
Yeah, but why would she choose Mr Wheeton over Wahim? Wahim has all those muscles. Not to mention a gun.
Who can explain the vagaries of the human heart. Not I. Oh, my God, look, he's moving on to vehicular
safety. Could this BE more boring? Let's make a list. You start it.
OK
Mia Thermopolis's *New and Improved* List of Hottest Guys
(with commentary by Lilly Moscovitz):
1. Michael Moscovitz (obviously cannot agree due to genetic link to said individual. Will concede he is not
hideously deformed)
2. Ioan Gruffud from the Horatio Hornblower series (agreed. He can shiver me timbers anytime he wants)
3. The guy who plays Clark Kent in Smallville (duh - only they should have him join the school swimming
team because he needs to take his shirt off more per episode)
4. Hayden Christiansen (again, duh. Ditto swimming team. There must be one for Jedis. Even ones who
have embraced the Dark Side)
5. Mr. Rochester (fictional character, but will agree he exudes certain rugged manliness)
6. Patrick Swayze (urn, not. So not. What is WRONG with you????)
7. Captain von Trapp from The Sound of Music (another fictional character, but the captain is a hottie
extraordinaire. I would pit him against the Nazi horde anytime)
8. Justin Baxendale (duh. I heard an eleventh-grader tried to kill herself because he looked at her. Seriously.
Like his eyes were so hypnotic, she went full-on Sylvia Plaih. She is in counselling now)
9. Heath Ledger (oooh, in the rock and roll knight movie, totally. Not so much The Patriot, though, I found
his performance in that film somewhat stilted. Plus he never took his shirt off).
10. Beast from Beauty and the Beast (I think I know someone else who needs counselling)
Tuesday, January 19th,
Gifted and Talented
I am so depressed.
I know I shouldn't be. I mean, everything in my life is going so great:
Great Thing Number One:
The boy I have been madly in love with my entire life, practically, loves, or at least really likes, me back, and we are going
out on our first real date on Friday.
Great Thing Number Two:
I know it is only the first day of the new semester, but as yet I am not flunking anything, including Algebra.
Great Thing Number Three:
I am no longer in Genovia, the most boring place on the entire planet with the possible exception of Algebra, and
Grandmere's princess lessons.
Great Thing Number Four:
I don't have Kenny for my Bio. partner any more. My new partner is Shameeka - what a relief. Which I know is cowardly (feeling relieved that I don't have to sit by Kenny any more), but I am pretty sure Kenny thinks I am this horrible person to
have led him on, like, all those months, when really I liked someone else (only thankfully not the person Kenny THOUGHT
I liked. I still can't believe Kenny dumped me because he thought I was in love with Boris Pelkowski). Anyway, the fact that
I don't have to deal with any hostile looks from Kenny's direction (even though he fully has a new girlfriend, a girl from our
Bio. class, as a matter of fact - he didn't waste any time) is probably really going to boost my grade in that class. Plus Shameeka is really good at science, on account of her being a Pisces.
Great Thing Number Five:
I have really cool friends who seem actually to want to hang around with me, and not just because I am a princess, either.
But that, see, is the problem. I have all these great things going for me, and I should be totally happy. I should be over the
moon with joy.
And maybe it's only the jet lag talking - I am so tired, I can barely keep my eyes open - or maybe it's PMS - I am sure my internal clock is way messed up from all this intercontinental flying. But I can't shake this feeling that I am . . .
Well, a total reject.
And I will tell you why I feel this way. I mean, take Gifted and Talented class, for example:
WHAT AM I DOING IN HERE????
I am not gifted. I am not talented. I am not good at anything. Really. I have no gifts or special talents. I AM A POSER.
I SHOULD NOT BE HERE.
It hit me today at lunch. I was sitting there like always with Lilly and Boris and Tina and Shameeka and Ling Su, and then Michael came and sat down with us, which of course caused this total cafeteria sensation, since seniors NEVER sit at the freshman tables.
/> And I was totally embarrassed but of course proud and pleased, too, because Michael NEVER sat at our table back when