by Kailin Gow
“To console you?”
“At first,” Logan said.
“I know things have been hard for you, Logan. Believe me – I get that. And I feel so terrible that I haven’t been there for you over the past few days. I know our friendship’s suffered because of this whole thing with me and Kian…”
“It isn’t easy,” Logan admitted. “But we’re both trying to be strong. To do the right thing.”
“I just want you to know, Logan. That no matter what happens, you can talk to me. Be honest with me. I’ll always be there for you as a friend, even if I can’t offer you more the way I want to. I know I was…uh…busy when you needed me then” (I turned bright red) “but I can sure promise you that I’ll be there for you when you need me. All you have to do is ask.” I slipped my hand in his and immediately the surge of warmth warmed us both, making my hair stand on end and causing Logan to jolt upright.
“Did you feel that?” Logan and I both laughed hesitantly, trying to ignore the awkwardness we both felt.
“You felt it too, then,” Logan smiled at me.
“I guess Kian was right,” I said. “Because you’re so hot-blooded, I guess it means you’re acting as a sort of heater for me. Keeping me warm and helping to counter the effects of the poison.”
“Maybe that’s the reason,” said Logan vaguely. “Or maybe…” his voice trailed off. “Never mind.” He took a step closer to me, wrapping his strong arms around me. My body trembled at his touch. “I guess I’ll just have to warm you up, then – I’m glad I can be useful. Usually it’s Kian and the other Fey who have magic – and I’m just the chump who watches helplessly. It’s nice to be able to be useful for a change.”
“You’re always useful,” I turned to Logan. “Magic or no magic – just being there is enough. Your presence makes me stronger.”
Logan shot me a mournful smile. “That’s all I want for you,” he said, staring into my eyes. His bright, strong gaze was full of love and compassion.
I had to break the connection – I had to break the spell. I was feeling myself grow weak in his presence. “But what about Rose?”
“What?” Logan looked distracted. “Yes – of course…Rose…she came up to me and it started out all…normal. She was asking me how I felt and if I needed anything and if I needed to talk, and…”
“Talk? About what?”
Logan turned away. “Do you even have to ask, Breena?” His voice was full of pain, and I felt guilty for even asking. “Breena, I spent my whole life dreaming of one thing – just one. One vision of how my life could be. And it turned out that I was wrong – so unbelievably wrong. About how things were. About how things would be. I’ve lost so much these past few years – and maybe I just needed a friend at that moment…”
“You haven’t lost…”
“My grandfather.” Logan’s eyes began to shine with tears. “My wolf clan – so many of them slaughtered during this last battle. And…you.” The tears were like diamonds upon his face. “I feel as if I’ve lost you, Bree.”
“Oh, Logan!” I threw my arms around his neck, feeling his warm blood pulse through me as I did so. “You’re my best friend in the whole world – believe me when I say I really do love you. I love you so much. And if things were different…you know I would be with you.”
“I know,” said Logan, his voice hoarse and his throat cracking. “That’s the hardest part. Knowing that you still care for me. If you felt nothing for me it would be different – but knowing that you were so close to choosing me, that I came so close to having you with me every night of my life, waking up next to you every morning…”
“Logan,” I cut him off. “We can’t talk like that. That’s not what I meant. For your sake and mine, you have to move on. I want you to be happy. And you can only be happy when you find a girl that loves you more than anyone else, that wants to be with you forever. Who chooses you.”
“Like Rose, you mean?” Logan laughed bitterly. “That’s what happened – you see. She started telling me that she wanted me, that she felt something for me that she couldn’t control. It started out with just talking and then, I don’t know – maybe I was jealous or angry or lonely but all of a sudden we were…I mean, she was…”
“She was what?”
“Kissing me. She just leaned in and kissed me, just like that. And I didn’t stop her. I was so surprised, I guessed. But also…confused.”
I stared blankly at Logan. I felt exactly the same way. On the one hand, I was glad that Logan had found someone else – even for an instant. On the other hand, deep down – in a part of me I was ashamed of – I felt a little jealous of Rose.
“She was all over me – kissing me on my neck and feeling up my chest and then she was kissing me properly, all over…but it didn’t feel right.”
“Because of us?”
Logan shook his head. “No. Well, maybe a little. But it was something else. It felt…weird. Almost too much – like she was trying too hard. And that’s not like Rose. It didn’t…feel like Rose.”
“What do you mean?”
“When she started kissing me, it almost felt…this is going to sound awful.”
“No, go ahead.”
“You know how much I care about you, Breena. And you know that I’ve never really kissed anyone except you. Except once.”
“You had another girlfriend?” I was shocked. Logan and I told each other everything. I’d never known him to keep anything from me before. “When?”
“It was junior year of high school. Listen – you can’t judge me, okay? I never told anyone because I was so embarrassed and confused and I was afraid you’d hate me and it didn’t mean anything, anyway. At least, it didn’t to me.”
“Logan, what are you talking about?”
Logan sighed deeply. “Okay, so this one time in junior year, Clariss came up to me and said her dad had been able to score two tickets to this movie premiere for this film I’d really wanted to see – I can’t even remember which it was. And she was being really nice about it and I think you were out of town with your mom that weekend and even though I normally hated her, I agreed to go. She was being really friendly – it was the beginning of the school year, and I guess I thought she’d changed over the summer or something. That maybe she was different.” He laughed hollowly. “So I gave it a shot. And we went to the movies as friends – or so I thought.”
“And what happened?”
“About halfway through the film Clariss turned to me and just started…kissing me. Like, really passionately. And feeling me up. And I was just so…surprised that I let it happen. I didn’t say yes. But I didn’t say no, either. I was just so surprised that anyone was interested in me, let alone Clariss. So this one time, I just…I guess I gave in. Not for long – only for a few seconds. But then I stopped her and ran out of the theater. She followed me but I didn’t know what to say. I just kept repeating, “I’m sorry, I don’t like you that way.” And of course she got furious and told me I’d be sorry. And I never told you because I was afraid you’d be…I don’t know. Upset?”
“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m not upset – just confused.”
“The thing is…something about Rose. It gave me that same feeling. Not just how…you know…how she was doing it, but something deeper. Something magic. Something that just felt wrong.”
“You think that was Clariss in Rose’s body?”
“I’m not sure,” said Logan. “But I think we should find out.”
Chapter 13
Logan and I decided that it was best to split up. If we needed to analyze Rose’s behavior, I knew, then we needed to get her alone: if Rose was going to try and make a move on Logan, she certainly wasn’t going to do it in public.
“Will you be okay?” Logan turned to me as we re-entered the palace. “I know you’ve been ill…that you’re feeling weak. What happens if she corners you?”
I gritted my teeth. I hadn’t told Logan about what Clariss had said to me, or about the sec
ret pact she’d tried to make with me. I knew that Clariss wanted me alive – needed me alive – for now. She’d let the poison do its work, but she’d try to convince me to team up with her first. But I didn’t answer Logan’s question. It would be too complicated to explain – not now… “I can manage,” I said, before turning away.
“Bree?” Logan turned to me, a look of love and longing in his eyes.
“What is it?”
“Just – make sure you’re careful, okay? I don’t want to have to go through losing you again, Breena. I don’t think I could deal.” He tried to smile but failed. “I’ve lost a lot. Losing you would just be too much.”
“You’ll never lose me, Logan,” I said, slipping my fingers through his. His warmth was electric; it pulsed through me like fire and I didn’t want to let go. Slowly, with considerable effort, I pulled away – our eyes still locking together, our gaze still strong.
I turned away hurriedly. I couldn’t let Logan see my weakness – I couldn’t afford to be weak. Not now. I walked down the corridor towards where Rose was being kept by Rodney and Shasta.
“Are you okay?” I asked as I entered.
“We’re just watching Rose,” said Shasta. “Making sure she’s okay after that horrible shock.”
“Alistair’s always been my best friend,” sighed Rodney. “I can’t believe he would do such things, say such things…at least, not when he was in his right mind. It has to be the Sorceress’s poison – it has to be. Otherwise…”
“He’s just gone crazy?” Shasta volunteered darkly. She looked Rose up and down. “You know Alistair – what do you think?”
“It…doesn’t seem like him,” Rose said. “He’s always been so good to me. So kind and…”
“You see!” Rodney cut in. “Don’t worry Rose; it’s only the poison that’s making Alistair act this way. You’ll see – once we cure him, he’ll be as good as new! And then you can forget all about this.”
“I hope so,” sniffled Rose. I looked her up and down. Could this innocent, sweet-seeming girl really be an incarnation of the Sorceress?
“Hey, guys?” I turned to Shasta and Rodney. “Can I speak to Rose alone for a second?”
They both looked at each other, curious, before looking at me. “Sure…” Rodney said slowly, rising to his feet.
“We’ll just leave you to it,” said Shasta, taking hold of Rodney’s hand.
When the door had swung shut I turned to face Rose, looking her square in the fact. “How are you feeling, Rose?”
“Fine, I guess,” Rose looked down. “I mean – as fine as I can be, given the circumstances.”
“I’m sorry you had to see Alistair act like that. I guess the poison must have made him hallucinate…”
“Yeah…” Rose was looking away. “I guess so.”
“I mean, all that stuff you said he was saying. About seeing you and Logan kissing – that wasn’t true, was it?”
“Of course not!” Rose laughed. “You know how I feel about Alistair! You all do. I’d never hurt him like that…and besides, Logan’s obsessed with you, everyone knows that.”
I turned red. I didn’t want to talk about that. “Be that as it may…” I sighed – but suddenly a light bulb went off in my brain. A plan began to form. I had an idea. “Actually, it isn’t true anymore.”
“It isn’t?”
I sighed loudly – a pretend melodramatic sigh. “Logan’s always thought he had feelings for me – but the truth is…he’s still pining after someone else. I was always the second-best. The replacement.”
“But he always seemed so devoted to you,” Rose leaned in. “Always following you around, doing whatever you said…”
“Logan told me that he screwed up with this girl he really liked – ages ago. Apparently they started kissing and he was so embarrassed and nervous that he ran away – he was so afraid, you know, because it was the first time he’d kissed a girl, and he thought he was screwing it up or something…” I laughed. “And he was too nervous to ever talk to her again. He tried to make her jealous by pretending to be in love with me, but it didn’t work. Then I guess, over time, those feelings for me became more genuine – he was using me as a rebound, trying to get over this other girl.”
Rose’s eyes opened wide. They were shining brightly – but a strange, glassy look came over them.
“Who was this girl?”
“That’s what I’m worried about,” I said. “It’s Clariss – the Sorceress. Back in high school we thought she was just a normal girl, but now she’s this Sorceress and she’s poisoned me, and Logan feels so guilty because he’s in love with her, but he can’t believe she’d hurt one of his friends…”
“Clariss?” Rose’s shock was mingled with a strange, ecstatic joy. A joy I knew only too well.
“Logan loves Clariss,” I said. “Always has, always will! And when they kissed out there in the garden – it was electric for him. Overwhelming. It made him realize how stupid he’s been all these years – being too shy to approach her again…”
Rose grinned wildly. “Then he does love her!”
I turned to Rose. “Or, should I say, loves you?”
Rose’s smiled vanished on her face. She glared at me. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she snapped.
“Cut the act, Clariss. I know it’s you. Logan told me what happened in the garden. Do you really think we don’t talk to each other?”
Rose snarled through gritted teeth. Immediately her whole expression changed. The features were still Rose’s – but the movement, the spirit – it was all Clariss.
“I’m not Clariss,” she said. “Or at least, not totally. I’m merely a shadow, like the ones Alistair saw back in the Wilds of Feyland. I do Clariss’ bidding. I am but a part of her many-divided soul.”
“What are you doing here? And what have you done with Rose?”
“I just wanted to make sure that you’d kept your promise, Treena,” crooned Rose in a cruel voice. “And just as well that I did – because it’s obvious to me that you haven’t done a thing you said you would do. You’re not helping me to win the hearts and minds of the people of Feyland at all. You’re just trying to find a cure for the poison yourself – silly fool, don’t you know that will never work? You and Alistair both – seeking to make potions! Alistair dares to struggle against the power of my book! Who does he think he is? Doesn’t he know that it is I who always wins in the end?” She laughed.
“So he wasn’t crazy, was he? When he saw you out there with Logan? He saw the truth, didn’t he? You were all over Logan, trying to seduce him, trying to make him yours…”
“So what if I did?” Rose snapped. “It’s not like you want him! You’ve only ever treated him like a backup plan, a second choice, a last resort. Maybe Logan deserves a woman who is willing to give him everything, instead of only using him when she’s bored with her fiancé…”
“How dare you!” I cried, but the words stung. Although I did love Logan, (who wouldn’t) I had always loved Kian, too. I couldn’t help it because I had always loved Logan as my best friend who became more.
“In any case, Alistair’s still crazy. Only this time it’s not my fault. It’s just that dreadful little sickness that the Fey call love. It messes with their heads. Remember when Shasta tried to kill herself? I know that. I know all about that. Fey feel love more strongly than humans do. So I suppose I did drive Alistair crazy – but it wasn’t the poison that did it. He can take all the potion he wants, but love can’t be cured.”
“How long have you been Rose?”
“Only since Alistair took the potion. Once I knew Alistair wasn’t going to be my eyes and ears anymore, I had to find…another host.”
“And where’s Rose?” I cried. “The real one?”
The Sorceress laughed. “Rose is…well, let’s just say that she’s wherever I want her to be.” She shook her long, red hair. “I caught her off guard. When the Enchantress’ powers weren’t protecting her.”
> “Tell me where she is!” I cried. “Tell me – or I’ll…”
“Or you’ll what?” the Sorceress spat.
At that I could resist no longer, drawing my sword from its scabbard. Furious, I slashed at the air, blue and orange flames emerging from my fingers.
But instead of resisting, Rose only cried aloud: “Help! Help! She’s killing me!”
“What’s going on?” Before I could slay Rose, Kian, Shasta and Rodney rushed in.
“What are you doing?” Kian looked shocked.
I rushed at Rose with my sword. No sooner had the metal collided with her frame than she seemed to erupt in flames – blue and orange – and vanish entirely.