This man who was a complete stranger to her, an enigma. And not let her heart get in the way.
She was imprisoned in a cell of her own making, bars of Aaron’s mistrust caging her in. He wanted her but he still didn’t trust her. Even short term, what kind of future did that bode for them?
Cathlene closed her mind to the thought of any future with Aaron. Even if she desired one with him, it couldn’t come to pass. There could be a worse fate for many women. She was fortunate enough to have the choice to escape once her duty was met. Trouble was, could she follow through with it? This Aaron before her wasn’t a thief. And the man who’d told her of his trials seemed to have come by his new status honestly. Perhaps she’d misjudged him? But what if all he’d told her was a lie?
“I should like to see the shops.”
The boy she’d first known flashed before her in his smile. The boy she’d once loved. Cathlene felt the corner of her mouth tilt, though inside her apprehension swirled. The brevity of what she’d acquiesced to sunk like a heavy stone in the pit of her stomach.
This boy was there again, ready to please her with just who he was. So sweet. So hopeful that he would make her happy. All she’d needed to see was his smile and the sincerity in his eyes, and it was as though everything between them melted away. They hadn’t endured a horrible separation. All her past trials faded away as the shutters surrounding her heart cracked open.
“It’s settled then, we’ll leave shortly.”
Aaron’s smile wasn’t one of trickery, but of treasuring.
“Can I give you another chance?” she whispered softly, the words falling like lead from her lips.
“I wish you would, love.”
They stood facing each other, the span of the room between them, though it seemed like a cavern she wasn’t certain how to cross. There was more written in Aaron’s eyes than he seemed able to say. “Do you still want me as much as I desire you?” she asked, with more strength as she regarded him. She wouldn’t wilt again under his rejection. Nor would she wait for him to come to her.
Her heart guided her. She stood and, before she lost her courage, sashayed to him. A corner of the towel slipped, exposing a bare shoulder and curve of her breast. She felt like a virgin again, all awkward and frightened, the fluttering currents of anticipation and uncertainty dancing about in her stomach. It wasn’t joy that prodded her into action but acceptance. She had feelings for this man-feelings she couldn’t deny, despite her misgivings of his character. She had a duty-a bargain she’d made, one she’d keep. She’d live each day with Aaron as if it were their last together, because that final day would come.
He didn’t take his gaze from her as she drew closer.
“I don’t wish for us to fight any longer,” she said, reaching a hand out to him. “I’ve made this agreement with you, one I intend on fulfilling.”
He took her hand and raised it to his lips to plant light kisses over her palm and down to her wrist. A sweet, hot glow spread through her body.
“I’ve never known us to quarrel overly much in the past. Why not put all of this behind us for now, and just be together in the moment?”
He was right, of course. Cathlene didn’t think she’d ever forget these last two years, but she could let her guard down with Aaron and just feel. She’d be safe with him, always. And that decided it for her.
She released the towel, the material pooling at her feet. Aaron dropped her hand. “Are you certain this is what you want, my love?”
She nodded, her throat too heavy to croak out a sound. The thought of turning him away fell from her consciousness. This wasn’t Aaron the man who spun crafty tales of fortune and success, but the Aaron beneath all his finery, the man she still loved. The myriad of emotions passing over his features left her speechless. Had she erred in exposing herself to him yet again? She bent to retrieve the towel. Two tears trickled down her cheeks. Perhaps he simply wanted her for what she’d give him. She was the vessel to carry his child, not his lover and wife in the true, honest sense of the word as she secretly yearned to be.
He settled his hands on her shoulders, forcing her to peer up at him, to see the pained look in his eyes. “Once we make love, I won’t be able to let you go.”
She’d agree to anything if he’d take her now. To keep that haunted look from his eyes, since she’d in part, put it there. “I want to be your wife, Aaron.” She wouldn’t say more, for fear she wouldn’t be able to keep her promise.
That seemed to appease him well enough. He swept her up into his arms and set her gently in the center of the bed. He quickly disrobed and joined her.
She shivered as he passed his gaze down her body. “I’m going to make you all mine again, darlin’.”
He took her lips with a fierce hunger that she met with equal need. He explored her body with the same intensity, using his hands and mouth to coax a reaction from her. One that grew with his every caress.
He kept her just at the precipice, pulling back when he sensed she was going to fall. Bared to his touch, her nipples ached for his mouth to suckle and tease. “So perfect you are.”
Aaron took one pebbled bud in his mouth. Cathlene held his head against her. She arched up as his tongue swirled round the areola. He delicately bit her flesh. She screamed. “So ripe and delicious.”
He used his fingers to awaken the nerve endings of her ribcage, stomach and thighs. Cathlene moved restlessly about, loving but hating his sweet torture. Her core melted into a puddle of liquid fire, her heart opening with his every caress. He loved her so tenderly, more tears fell down her cheeks.
Aaron dotted hot wet kisses down her chest to her belly, stopping just at the nest of curls at the apex between her thighs. He knelt over her, splaying her legs wide with his shoulders.
Knowing his intent even before he hooked her legs over his shoulders, Cathlene lifted herself to his mouth.
Aaron gave a primal laugh, his breath fanning her damp curls. Her spine bowed back as he bent his head to blow against them. “Not quite, my love.”
She dug her fingers into his scalp, using all her strength to force his mouth on her. She yelped as his teeth scored against her inner thigh. “Please.” She relished the slight sting then the rough scrape of his silken tongue.
“I’m savoring these moments. If you do leave me, I want you to think of being here with me now.” He parted her slick folds to insert a finger inside her. She involuntarily clenched around him. “I want you to remember how I’m making you feel.”
He replaced his finger with his tongue, tasting and delving deep.
“I want you now. Please, Aaron. Stop this.”
He licked her sex from her engorged nubbin to her bottom, marking her as his. Again and again, he branded every inch of her intimate flesh, drinking of her essence until she broke apart. She cried his name in breathless, gasping pants, her every inch shaking from the intensity of just a taste of Aaron’s passion.
He brought her back together with a tender touch. With a final soft kiss to her belly, he crawled up the mattress to lie beside her.
Aaron took her in his arms and simply held her as she trembled. Tears leaked from the corners of her eyes. He made her feel cherished and desired. Protected yet strong.
He grazed his lips over her cheek, catching her tears. “Don’t cry, my love.”
She swallowed the tears back. Cathlene rolled atop him, pressing him into the downy comforter. She coasted her hands and lips down his chest and stomach. “How does my touch make you feel?” She took his cock in her hand and caressed the length of his silken hardness that grew more rigid with every stroke. “Will you think of me when you lie with other women? Have you thought of me when you’ve lain with other women?”
Fool she’d be to think he’d remained celibate during their separation. “Ah, Cat, me love,” he said, using his pet name for her as she fastened her lips over his cock. “You’re driving me mad. I haven’t wanted any other woman but you, since you. And for me, there will be no o
ther.”
His admission gave her heart the wings it needed to fly free. Her jealousy had been unfounded. In her absence, there’d been no lovers warming his bed except those she’d imagined. That knowledge warmed her spirit and gladdened her heart. But his fidelity wouldn’t alter her plans to leave. It couldn’t.
He flipped her over to her back and, bracing himself on his forearms, hovered over her. “I can’t stand it any longer. I’ve bared myself to you. What of your lovers? The thought of any other man taking you makes me wish to find them. To scour every inch of this damned city and kill every last one of them.”
With the fury etched on his features, she didn’t doubt his intent. “I thought we were leaving our past where it belonged.”
He positioned himself at her moist entrance. It had been a long while since she’d taken a man inside her. Her sex filled with moisture as her passion built. She tilted her hips the slightest so he’d slide home, but Aaron held himself still. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead. “I’ll know every sordid detail, wife.”
“There’s nothing to tell. I’ve been with no other but you.”
Relief and joy washed away the raw resentfulness that had fairly consumed him since seeing her such a short time ago.
With one slow powerful thrust, he seated himself to the hilt in her wet tight heat. They sighed as one, their arms clinging. Her sex wrapped about his cock, pulsating around him as he withdrew. “No other?”
She twined her legs about his waist, her hips lifting in silent command for him to stroke her deeper. Aaron set his hands around her bottom, holding her still. “Not a single one.”
“Then why not tell me so?” he asked.
“I had nothing else but my wits to see me through. What else was I to do when you offered your bargain?”
He’d been an arse thinking he carried the winning hand. She’d had to play hers the best way she’d known how. In doing so, she’d disarmed him completely.
Cathlene’s eyes slipped closed as he forged deeper in her again. With his hands cupped under her bottom, Aaron held her immobile as he slowly withdrew then pressed deep until he touched her womb. He let her feel his strength, his possession, showing her with his body that he would always be the only one for her.
She raked her fingers along his back, her cries and moans urging him to move faster and harder. Only when his passion threatened to explode did he release her.
Their power struggle ended. Their loving turned animalistic and primal as they gave and took with a frantic urgency that shook the bed as their bodies came together with a roughness that jarred Aaron through to his bones. Cathlene met him measure for measure. All their pain, anger, love spilled over until she screamed her release.
Panting and exhausted, she wilted back onto the mattress. With one final lunge, he spent himself inside her.
Aaron stayed there, too weak to move. Their harsh breathing slowed as their bodies cooled. When the strength returned to his limbs, he rolled to the side so he wouldn’t crush her.
Cathlene turned into him, her head settling against his shoulder as she fitted her curves to him. Aaron kissed her neck as fragrant strands of her hair tickled his nose. “Welcome home, wife.”
With a long heavy sigh, Cathlene’s breathing settled as she fell asleep. Aaron held her to him, relishing that she was indeed lying beside him. After all this time without her, she was home. All felt right in his world again. His heart lurched as he watched his wife, his love. How long would this serenity in his world last? Cathlene would surely keep her word, but would she really leave him once her obligation to him was met?
Did she feel anything for him, or was she playing him the fool as she’d accused of him? Did she still believe he’d abandoned her? And was she indeed contemplating revenge?
He loved her, but he couldn’t allow his heart to embrace those feelings. And he certainly couldn’t utter those three fatal words, for fear she’d run. He couldn’t allow his love to chase her away, though it was the only thing he knew to use to make her stay.
Aaron secured his arms tighter around her. She burrowed closer. He attempted to ward off the waves of exhaustion that weighed him down, but they were too strong. He joined Cathlene in sleep, dreaming of her holding their babe and smiling over at him, returning all the love he had for her.
Chapter Five
Later that afternoon, after a restful slumber, their shopping excursion allowed Cathlene to view firsthand the wealth Aaron had accumulated in her absence. They purchased several bonnets trimmed in lace and bows, flounces and deep ruffles to extend the elaborate skirts of her day and evening dresses. Corsets and slippers, fans and gloves. Nightraps and gowns of fine satin and linen trimmed in lace. Jackets to be worn over her skirts, along with Indian shawls woven in paisley. They finished her wardrobe by ordering hooded cloaks and riding habits with well-fitting jackets and tight sleeves, and chemisettes and top hats to complete the outfits.
First on their list to be delivered was the evening gown to introduce her to New York society. It was a low-necked, off-the–shoulder, ruffled, blue satin creation with short lace sleeves. She had a cap of matching lace hemmed with rose-colored tassels and ribbons, and an Indian shawl to complete the ensemble.
They exited a milliners shop, Aaron’s arms brimming with parcels. He handed his load off to Donegal, his main footman, who made room in the already overcrowded carriage for the packages.
“Now where to?” Aaron asked. “Have you tired of this outing, or do you wish to see the shops on the mile I’ve yet to spend a fortune in?”
Cathlene smiled at Aaron’s playfulness. “You didn’t appear to mind giving me coin. I believe I was the one to call a halt at the shop on the corner, but you insisted on purchasing that dress – and it’s the very one I’ll be wearing to the opera.”
“When I saw the design from afar, I knew it would suit you perfectly.”
A movement across the street drew her attention. A man stood in profile, his face in shadow, but his build resembled that of someone she thought long dead. She faltered, bumping into Aaron. Her blood chilled in her veins. Cathlene slid her hand instinctively to her hip, where she normally kept her dagger.
Panic seized her. Her heartbeat sped up to thunder in her ears. “Where’s my dagger?”
Aaron regarded her with alarm, his hand going to her shoulder to steady her. “Out with the rubbish where it belongs. Why, love, are you so skittish? You’ve no need for a weapon with me at your side.”
The man turned so she could see his face. Her heart rate slowed, her agitation fading. All this worry was making her believe she was seeing the dead brought back to life.
“I-I’m just so used to carrying it with me.”
Aaron wasn’t convinced. “We’ve already established you aren’t a good liar, so out with it. I’ve worked up quite an appetite. I know just the restaurant where we might sit and talk at our leisure. Unless you’d rather return home?”
Food was the last thing she wanted. “I’d rather walk. You’ll lose that appetite if I were to tell you of it.”
He took her arm and guided her down the promenade. They strolled down the bustling street, past servants and their richly dressed employers who took full advantage of the fair weather and the wares arranged attractively in the shop windows.
“You might wish to end our agreement if I mention why seeing that man frightened me so. And I wouldn’t fault you for it.”
“Do you have such little faith in me?”
“I’ve as much faith in you as you me. Earlier…in your chamber…we agreed to start anew. You must understand that by revealing this to you, I take great risk with both our lives.”
“Come, it cannot be that bad. Whatever it is, we’ll work through it together.”
Aaron tucked her close to his side. The crumbled pieces of her heart found their way together as she basked in his warmth. It had been so long since she’d felt taken care of and protected. For a moment, she wanted to rebel against this feeling, but it fe
lt good to rely on someone else rather than herself for a change. To confide in someone who would listen not for any reason but for the fact they cared. And if Aaron didn’t care, he wouldn’t act so concerned.
She took a breath, some of the weight lifting from her shoulders. “That man, the one I saw,” she gestured to where he’d stood, “I thought he was a man I killed. Your wife’s a murderess.”
She watched his face and waited for the fury, denial, or disbelief. But Aaron simply brought her closer, his eyes only showing compassion. Indeed, this was the last thing she expected from him. “Christ, Cathlene, what happened?”
They reached an intersection. Aaron turned them down a quieter street.
“About five months ago, after I lost my final respectable job, I was in the Five Points and I was attacked. I stabbed the man before getting away.”
“Are you certain you killed him?”
The story continued to pour from her in fast hard waves. “No. It was dark. I couldn’t see. I stabbed him. He fell. I ran.”
Hope brightened his tone. “So you don’t know whether he’s dead or not. Cathlene, you did nothing wrong. You were defending yourself.”
“What if I did indeed kill him? When I ran from the alley where he’d managed to drag me, I saw a fancy carriage hurrying away. I don’t know if the gentleman inside noticed the state of my appearance or not.”
“If he hasn’t approached the police by now, I should think whatever’s happened to that man, no one will come after you. To ease your mind, I’ll speak to the police commissioner myself. He won’t file charges against you. Your claims are sound. He can’t hold a woman for defending herself.”
The fright returned in full force, the fear not for her, but for Aaron. “No. No. There’s no need for that. It’s been months. He was no one of importance. Don’t bother yourself with mentioning it to anyone.”
Cathlene couldn’t bring herself to tell Aaron what remained of her tale. She didn’t fear whether Lionel Standish had seen her. She worried whether he was behind her attack all along.
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