by Nikki Ashton
I looked into her smiling brown eyes and relaxed a little. “I only have experience of older kids. My girlfriend has three, age ten upwards.”
“Well in my experience showing kids what comes from the heart rather than your head, is much better – unless of course they won’t eat their vegetables.”
We both laughed quietly and I nodded. “I guess so.”
“They know when they’re being patronized or lied to and she’s a very bright and articulate little girl, so like I said; be yourself.”
I nodded again and took the first tentative steps to meeting Savannah.
“Hey,” I said, dropping to the floor to sit beside her. “I’m Dex, a friend of your momma’s.”
Savannah looked up, with eyes so like mine, they took the breath from my lungs.
“Hi,” she replied in a soft voice. “I’m Savannah.”
“I know, and I’m real pleased to meet you Savannah.”
“Did you know my grandma? She died and went to momma in heaven.”
Her words were rushed and spoken on the edge of tears and I felt like I’d been punched in the gut, as she looked at me with teary eyes. The poor kid had lost the two most important women in her life and I was thinking of trailing her thousands of miles away to live in an apartment, with a man she didn’t know. She needed stability, a family, and I knew this was going to be so much harder than I’d imagined.
“I know sweetheart,” I finally said, when I found the power of speech again. “And I’m real sorry about that, but you know they’ll both be looking down on you. Making sure you’re happy and safe.”
Savannah nodded. “I know. My daddy is going to come get me soon. Grandma always said when she was gone, he’d come find me.”
My head shot to Allison, who was sitting in an armchair watching our interaction. She gave me a slight shake of her head. I turned back to Savannah and picked up one of her dolls.
“I bet he’s real excited to see you.”
“Hmm, maybe. Grandma said he loves me, but him and momma didn’t get along.” She grinned at me. “I guesses they cussed at each other a lot.”
I laughed at her incorrect use of the word guess and the fact that she thought me and Cherry cussed a lot – nothing could be further from the truth; I wasn’t invested enough toward the end to even think about cussing. I was thankful though that Lucy hadn’t bad mouthed me too much, and had told Savannah that I loved her – because I would have, something fierce, if I’d known about her.
“Maybe, but your grandma was right, he loves you a helluva lot.”
“You know him too?” she asked, her voice pitching slightly with excitement.
I cleared my throat. “I know who he is. So, you gonna tell me what these dollies are named?”
We continued to play and chat for another thirty minutes, until Allison suggested that it was Savannah’s bath time. Savannah sighed and rolled her eyes, which cracked me up, but when Allison gave her a stern, yet tender look, Savannah pushed to her feet with a doll in each hand.
“Bye Mr. Dex,” she said, leaning in to kiss my cheek.
“Bye, Savannah.”
My words were strangulated, because the feel of her soft skin against my own, gave my heart another big squeeze and I wanted so badly to pick her up and hug her tight. I was totally smitten, but I knew I had to do what was best for her at the end of the day.
“You did great,” Allison said as Savannah left the room. “She liked you, so that’s a good start.”
I nodded, and as Allison left to follow my daughter, I let out a long, relieved sigh.
Katie
“I’m so glad it went well, Dex,” I said into the phone. “I’ve been thinking about you, and wondering all day.”
“She’s gorgeous, Katie Cat. Looks just like my mom.”
“And the foster mum said it went well – that Savannah liked you?”
I desperately wanted Dex’s meeting with Savannah to go well, mainly because I didn’t want him to make a decision based upon the fact that he didn’t think he could be a good father to her. If the meeting had gone badly, I was sure he’d allow Cherry’s cousin to adopt his little girl. At least now he’d make a more informed choice.
“Yeah, I stayed while she had her bath, thinking Allison would put her straight to bed, but she came down in these cute little PJs with dogs on them, and said that she wanted to say goodnight.”
“And how was that?” I asked, trying desperately to keep the emotion from my voice. Dex didn’t need me breaking down on him.
He let out a soft laugh. “If I said amazing, would you think I was a pussy?”
“No, sweetheart, I’d think you were a daddy who’s fallen in love with his child.”
“Yeah, that’s about the top and bottom of it. She crawled onto my lap with a book and asked me to read to her. I just about managed to finish it before she started to yawn. She even does that like me, Katie.”
I smiled thinking about how Dex always stuck his arms into an L shape – one to the side, one in the air – when he was yawning.
“I’m so happy for you,” I whispered.
“There’s a long way to go yet,” Dex replied. “I still don’t know what I should do. I’d be bringing her to another country, Katie. Away from a life she knows, and I don’t know if that’d be right.”
A lump formed in my throat, as the fear of Dex taking Savannah, but living in Texas with her, reappeared and knocked around in my head.
“I know you’ll make the right decision. I just wish I was there to support you.”
“I know darlin’, but hopefully it won’t be much longer. If I decide to take custody of her myself it’ll be a little longer than if I decide to let the cousin adopt her. I can deal with that process from home, it’s just signatures and things and Savannah will stay with Allison and her husband until it’s all done. James, Savannah’s case worker, says the judge may insist on me getting counselling if I do decide to give her up, but seeing as I’ve only just met her he thinks it’s unlikely.”
“I called in at Heaven & Ink today,” I said, thinking a change of subject might help stave off Dex’s anxiety.
“Was everything okay?”
“Oh God, yes. Isaac forgot his lunch, so I dropped it in. They were all working hard and don’t appear to be missing you at all.”
Dex started to laugh, his deeply belly rumble that I adored.
“Please tell me you didn’t take a packed lunch in for him.”
“Yes,” I replied indignantly. “What’s wrong with that?”
“He’s a nineteen-year-old guy who, if we’re not mistaken, is having sex with my receptionist. The last thing he’ll want is you turning up with his sandwiches, juice carton, and an apple.”
I frowned. “Really?”
“Yeah darlin’, really.”
“Oh God, no wonder he could barely crack a smile when I walked in.” I groaned and then started to giggle. “He was whispering to Scarlett when I got there and she was messing with his hair.”
“I’m guessin’ you walked in on him trying to charm her panties off, Katie Cat.”
“He went as red as Scarlett’s hair and got rid of me pretty quick.”
“I’d be surprised if he ever talks to you again.”
“Oh shit, do you think he’d have opened them in front of everyone?” I asked.
“Probably, we close for lunch and all eat in the break room. Why?”
I winced, but couldn’t help smiling to myself. “I put a note in that said, ‘Mummy loves you’.”
Dex’s laughter was loud and long and I loved hearing it.
“Oh Katie Cat, I fucking miss you,” he finally said. “So damn much.”
The warmth of his words filled me with huge amounts of happiness, and caused a stupid grin to break out on my face. I was definitely falling for him, and couldn’t wait for him to get home.
“I miss you too, sweetheart,” I whispered. “More than you’ll ever know.”
Dex
; I’d been having visits with Savannah for the last three days, going from thirty minutes, up to over two hours, and all had gone well – so far. We’d had one incident when she’d refused to go put her toys away, with it turning into a full-on howling temper tantrum. I’d had no clue what to do and stood there like one of the moving statues in Vegas – my movements slow and delayed, as I hesitated on what to do with the hurricane taking place in front of me.
Allison took no trucking from Savannah, and firmly told her to stop crying otherwise she’d make herself ill. Once Savannah calmed down sufficiently, Allison told her again to put away the toys and this time she did without any fuss.
Evidently the look on my face said it all, because Allison’s husband, Tommy, slapped me on the back and welcomed me to parenthood.
“It’ll come,” he said, laughing through his bushy beard. “Takes us all time to learn and you’ve only had a few days, so no point in stressin’ about it.”
Thank God I’d have Katie to give me help and advice – if I decided to take Savannah home with me and if Katie stuck around. She’d made it pretty clear she was done with bringing up kids and if we stayed together, my feisty four-year-old would be part of the deal. The thought of maybe losing her had proved something – I was gone for her, and falling for her deeper and deeper every day. I knew though that Savannah would be my priority, and if I did take Savannah home and it meant losing Katie, then that’s what would have to happen – which kind of proved in itself that I was probably ready to be a father to my little girl.
I just had one last thing to do, and that was to get on a plane to Fort Worth and meet Jackson and Olivia Henry, the couple who wanted to adopt Savannah. Which was why I was in a fancy-assed elevator that was bigger than my guest bathroom, on my way up to the Penthouse. It was so plush I didn’t even feel it stop, and only realized I’d arrived on the top floor when the doors smoothly slid open.
Stepping out, my feet sunk into the carpet as my eyes were drawn to a tall, fair-haired guy standing in the doorway. He was wearing a grey polo shirt and khakis, with leather loafers on his feet and he looked like money.
“You must be Dex,” he said with a warm smile. “Come on in, Olivia and I have been anxious to meet you.”
For someone supposedly Texan born and bred, this guy sounded like he’d been brought up by some rich old lady in New England. As for his hair, if I didn’t know better, I’d say he had a hairdresser on standby for whenever it got ruffled – there was not one hair out of place.
As I ran a hand through my own hair, brushing it back, I glimpsed at the ink on my forearms and wondered what the Henrys would make of me. Not that I really cared, it was up to them to impress me, if I was to even consider letting them adopt my little girl.
And fuck if that thought didn’t stop me in my tracks – my little girl. Suddenly, I wasn’t even sure what I was doing there. Before I had time to think about just turning around and going to see James Jenson and telling him I wanted custody of Savannah, Jackson had ushered me in and closed the door behind me.
“Liv’s in the lounge,” he said, moving past me to lead the way. “Rosina, our housekeeper, just made us coffee.”
As I followed him down the wide hallway, I looked at the paintings on the wall. All originals, not one print amongst them, and I was pretty sure I recognized a Lisa Adams’ painting amongst them. These people were real rich and could probably give Savannah anything she’d ever want – but money didn’t get you everything.
We walked into a large lounge, decorated in golds and bronzes, with a huge, dark-gold colored couch and two chairs in gold and cream stripes. There was more art in here, but all of it in similar colors and hues to the décor.
“Liv, darling. This is Dex, Savannah’s father.”
A woman with auburn hair and pale, freckled skin stood up and moved towards me, taking my hand to shake it.
“Dex, so lovely to see you, although it was extremely sad to hear of dear Lucy’s death. Jackson was very fond of her, well we both were.”
She looked at her husband, who was soon by her side and placing an arm around her shoulder. They sat down, still joined, and indicated for me to do the same.
“Coffee?”
I nodded and settled into the armchair, which despite its size, wasn’t actually very comfortable.
“Black, no sugar, please.”
Olivia nodded and continued to pour, before passing me a cup. A cup with a saucer, when coffee should be drunk in a mug.
“So you’ve seen Savannah?” Jackson asked.
“Yeah, I have. It’s gone real well. She’s a gorgeous kid.”
“We met her once at Lucy’s birthday party,” Olivia announced, her voice soft and gentle. “She’s a beautiful child and we’d certainly take very good care of her.”
I thought it kind of a strange thing to say. I’d have expected her to say they’d love her, but to take good care of her, made Savannah sound temporary, or some sort of class pet that they got to look after for the weekend.
“I’m sure you would, but I think it’s more than care she needs. She needs love and attention.” I picked up my cup and almost drank my coffee in one go, the cup was so small.
“Of course, of course,” Jackson said. “That goes without saying. I can assure you, she’d be loved most dearly.”
“And you’re going to stop practicing?”
I directed the question at Olivia, who nodded as she put her cup back onto the tray on the coffee table.
“Yes, for a while and then when I do go back, it’ll be in a part-time capacity. I work in the City, so on those days Rosina would take care of Savannah, or Jackson would work from the home office.”
“What about school?” I asked, not really sure what I should be grilling them about. It wasn’t every day you picked potential parents for your offspring, so I was going with whatever came into my head. “Is there a good one, nearby?”
Jackson and Olivia glanced at each other, so quickly I wondered if I’d imagined it.
“We’re looking into it,” Jackson explained.
Again, strange. It struck me, a couple like these two – bright, young professionals – would have already looked into schools in the area. They wouldn’t leave it to chance or the education board forcing her to attend some shithole school that offered little prospects to its pupils. No, a couple like Jackson and Olivia Henry were the sort of couple who had their kid’s name down for some upper crust, miniature Ivy League school from the minute the kid was conceived.
“You must have some ideas,” I pushed.
“Well we like a couple, but Bellvale in Allen is our preference at the moment.”
I frowned. “Over an hour’s trip to school every day. That’s a long journey for a child Savannah’s age.”
“It is, but she won’t be attending just yet. They don’t take them until they’re five-years-old.”
“Okay, well maybe I’ll check it out.”
Jackson shook his head and gave me a hint of a smile. “Honestly no need, Dex. It’s just an option, but you’re right, it’s probably too far away.”
Yeah, I didn’t care what he said, I’d be checking it out.
I asked them a few more questions and then they showed me what would become Savannah’s room. It was large and already had a huge TV screen and dark mahogany furniture in there, but according to Olivia, as soon as they heard about a child, Savannah or otherwise, they were going to redecorate.
Finally, after another coffee, I thought I’d heard enough. Not enough to make a decision, because that was something I thought I needed to sleep on and mull over, taking everything into consideration.
“Let me see you out,” Jackson said, ushering me back to the hallway.
“Thank you for your time, Dex,” Olivia said. “It was lovely meeting you.”
“You too and maybe we’ll meet again soon.”
“That would be lovely,” she replied, giving me a tight smile and running her eyes over my arms. Arms that in my t-shirt,
meant my ink was on full display. Her eyes weren’t appreciative of the art though, looking at me as if to say ‘I bet you’ll regret every single one of those in time’, which of course I wouldn’t. They were me, take them or leave them.
When I got into the elevator, I leaned my head back and looked up at the paneled ceiling, thoughts rushing around my head. My meeting with the Henrys hadn’t helped at all – well not in the way I’d expected. They seemed like good people, just as James had said, but I wasn’t sure good was enough for my kid. I wanted them to be amazing and full of love and carefree, happy to bring Savannah up in the same way. Something like Katie was with her kids. They knew the rules, but she let them fly too, she let them have a personality and she let them have freedom and I wasn’t sure Savannah would have too much of that.
When I got back to my hotel, I still wasn’t sure what to do, so knew I’d need to take some time to think carefully. In the meantime, I decided to check out Bellvale School on my laptop, and see how swanky it was – because I knew it had to be if they were considering it, their whole apartment was swanky, even down to the expensive soap and hand cream in the john.
As I clicked on a link for the school, my eyes widened when the pictures came up. Swanky just didn’t cut it. There was a running track, two pools, an indoor gym, an outdoor gym, labs with equipment that would rival any top research facility, a mini one hundred seater theater – there was pretty much everything a kid could wish for at their school, even a damn beauty parlor.
I moved through the site, clicking on links and photographs, information about the staff and all the school’s achievements, finally selecting a link with general school information. Reading it, my mind was made up about what I had to do for Savannah.
I knew that this was most definitely the school the Henrys were considering for her – shit they weren’t even considering, this was a done deal. There was nothing comparable for miles around, so unless they were going to move, it would have the same conclusion for my daughter – they were going to send her away to school, and it was most definitely going to be Bellvale. It was a boarding school for ages five to eighteen, no day pupils were accepted, and Judge Teddy Foster was its Head Governor and major investor; Judge Teddy Foster who was none other than the father of Olivia Henry.