by Nikki Ashton
She stalked over to the sink and taking a glass from the drainer, filled it with cold water from the faucet.
“Sorry,” she gasped, gulping it back, “but I ran the last bit and as you know I’m not the fittest person in the world.”
“How come it took until today to come see me?” I looked at the clock on the cooker. “I left at around seven on Saturday night and we’re now at two p.m., Monday. Didn’t think I was in a shitty enough mood to warrant a visit yesterday?”
She colored and looked down at the floor.
“Well?” I urged.
“I was calling you all morning and then decided to come and see you, but my car actually broke down yesterday. I tried to get hold of Barry, but his phone kept going to voicemail, then I called for a taxi and it didn’t turn up, so in the end I borrowed my mum’s scooter.”
My heart thudded at the thought of her on that thing. I hated the fact that D’reen rode it, never mind Katie.
“So why didn’t you get here?” I asked, my voice low and commanding. There was more to this story, I could tell by the way she was chewing on the inside of her mouth.
“I fell off,” she whispered.
“What!”
I took a step forward and reached a hand out, laying it on her shoulder.
“Did you hurt yourself?”
“Just grazed my leg, it was nothing. Oh and my elbow, I took the skin off that too.”
“What about your head? Did you hit that?” I looked her up and down as both my hands smoothed along her arms, trying to feel for any damage.
“No, I was wearing the helmet.” She started to giggle. “Good job I haven’t got my Roly perm, it would never have fit.”
“Fuck, Katie,” I growled. “This isn’t a laughing matter, you could have been hurt. Did anyone come and help you?”
She nodded and cleared her throat.
“What? Tell me?”
“My mum, I hadn’t even made it off the drive.”
Shit – if I wasn’t so fucking pissed at her, I’d have damn well belly laughed. I could see her in my mind’s eye, only managing two turns of the wheels before collapsing in a heap on the floor.
“It’s far more difficult than my mum makes it look,” she said, her face full of consternation. “I wanted to try again, but she wouldn’t let me and by that time it was almost nine at night, so I figured I’d just leave it until today.”
“So let me get this straight, you were going to ride here, in the dark, on a fucking pink scooter that’s light enough to be blown over in a gust of wind?”
“Well I was, but like I said, Mum said no.”
“So you were badly hurt, that’s why she wouldn’t let you try riding it again?”
“Oh God no, nothing a couple of plasters wouldn’t sort out.” She lifted the arm of her long sleeve t-shirt to show me the large band aid on her elbow. “She was worried I was going to damage Delilah – that’s her scooter.”
I scrubbed my hand over my face, wondering who was crazier, D’reen or Katie.
“How come you ended up walking here today? Why not get a taxi or a bus?”
“I made Carl come and get my car started for me after he took Charlie to school,” she whispered, rightly thinking I’d not want to hear his fucking name. “But the sodding thing died on the bypass.”
“You walked from the fucking bypass!” I cried, forgetting how damn mad I was at Carl over the car, well, over fucking everything. “You stupid idiot.”
“Hey,” Katie gasped. “Don’t disrespect me, you’d tell the kids off for that.”
“Yeah well this time you damn well are. How the hell did you get here in one piece?”
“A nice man offered me a lift,” she said with a smile.
I felt the color drain from my face and an ice cold shiver envelop me.
“Tell me you didn’t get in with him.”
“I didn’t get in with him. He was turning off at the big roundabout anyway, so I’d have only got a few minutes with him.”
“And that’s the only reason,” I bellowed, walking away from her. “The only fucking reason you didn’t get in a car with a stranger, because he wasn’t going your way? You are fucking unbelievable. Idiot doesn’t fucking cover it darlin’.”
“He was about eighty years old. I could have fought him off easily.”
I spun back around to face her, my eyes as wide as dinner plates.
“I don’t give a shit how old he was, he still could have drugged you, or kidnapped you and taken you to someone who wasn’t fucking eighty and who you couldn’t get away from. For fuck’s sake, Katie Cat, what the hell were you thinking?”
“I didn’t go with him,” she said quietly, putting a hand to her throat.
She looked a little emotional and I guessed it was because I’d just ripped her a new one. Her pale-blue eyes were shining and even with her hair plastered to her forehead, she still looked fucking beautiful and I hated that she was no longer mine. I wanted to say damn it all, fuck whether she really wanted Carl, or that she wasn’t all in with having Savannah as part of the package. I wanted to say I could be as little as she wanted me to be, as long as I was in her life, but I couldn’t. I wanted everything with her. I wanted it all and half measures would never be enough.
Katie
“How come you never told me Carl had been kicked out of his home?” Dex asked me, hanging his head and looking down at his feet, which were crossed at the ankles.
“Because he’s inconsequential,” I replied without hesitating. “He’s the father of my children and nothing to do with us as a couple, so I didn’t feel the need. If he’d come and asked to stay when Sophie first threw him out, I would have told you, but unless that happened I didn’t feel it necessary.” I shrugged. “Maybe I should have, and I’m sorry if that upset you, but you’ve got so much going on with Savannah too, I didn’t think you needed anything else to worry about.”
Dex sighed and hung his hands from the back of his neck as he appeared to be thinking about what I’d said.
“You didn’t think the fact he regrets losing you, maybe even wants you back, was reason to tell me?” he asked.
I paused, it was my time now to think about his words. Dex was right, I probably should have told him for that reason, although I wasn’t totally convinced Carl regretted losing me. After our conversation two nights before, I knew he regretted losing our family, but me personally – no.
“It’s not me he regrets losing,” I said, voicing my thoughts to Dex. “He wishes he’d done things differently. He’s sad he lost his family, the unit that we had, but he doesn’t regret losing me, Dex.”
Dex nodded slowly and backed away from me, taking himself to the opposite side of the kitchen. I’d thought he was starting to thaw when he’d called me Katie Cat. I’d missed it so much over the last couple of days that when I heard it I’d almost broken down with the need to be in his arms again. Now, he may as well have been back in Texas, he felt so far away.
“I heard it, Katie,” Dex finally said. “I heard everything you said to him, in your kitchen.”
I stared at him, baffled. “And what you heard is what’s upset you?” I asked, totally confused.
Dex frowned. “Err yeah, I reckon, don’t you?”
His fingers curled around the counter top, gripping it so tightly the corded veins in his forearms bulged against his tanned skin.
“So you heard me say he couldn’t stay and that I didn’t regret us splitting up?”
Dex shook his head and I was even more confused – then it hit me.
“Oh my God, you heard me tell him that I love you,” I gasped. It all made sense, he was distancing himself because it was too soon for him. “I get that it’s probably too early, but that doesn’t mean I want any sort of commitment from you. You’re backing off because you’re scared, well I get that, but please don’t end what we have just because I said that.”
“No,” Dex cried. “I heard you, Katie. I heard you tell him you didn�
�t want to bring up another kid and you wish you’d never split up. I fucking heard it and you can’t damn well deny you said it – I fucking heard it and it killed me.”
My heart missed a beat at his words. He hadn’t heard me say I loved him. He thought I didn’t want to be with him, worse he thought I wanted Carl back.
“God no,” I cried, taking the steps toward him and grabbing hold of his hand. “I was being ironic to prove a point to him. He was being an egotistical prick and if you’d listened you’d have heard me call him that and then you’d have heard me tell him I was being sarcastic. I told him of course I wanted to help bring up Savannah and of course I didn’t wish we hadn’t split up. I told him I was excited about a future with you, Savannah, and the kids, because I love you.”
Dex didn’t speak, but merely stared at me, his eyes searching my face as the air crackled with possibility and hope. Finally, he took a breath and then lifted a hand to cup my cheek.
“You love me?”
“Of course I do, I’ve told you twice in the last five minutes but it didn’t seem to register the first time. Now I’m shitting myself because you look a little scared.”
Dex shook his head. “Nope, no way. I look like that because I thought he was who you wanted. I was so wrapped up in my anger that you wanted someone who treated you more like a friend, than someone who worshipped you like the beautiful, amazing woman that you are, it didn’t go in, because even if you didn’t want me, Katie Cat, I would never want you to have that sort of relationship again. You are worth so much fucking more.”
The tight knot in my stomach started to unravel as Dex’s thumb brushed along the fullness of my lips and his eyes looked at me reverently.
“You’re not scared that I love you?” I whispered.
“Never,” he replied, pressing his forehead to mine. “The thought fills me with more fucking joy than I’ve ever experienced darlin’. But, I have to know, you have to be totally truthful, you really want me and Savannah because we’re one big messy package?”
I nodded and lifted my hands to rest on his hips. “More than anything.”
“You don’t wish he’d never left?”
“No, I swear. I told Carl I was glad he’d left because I’d never have met you and I’d never have known what it was like to be seen, to be listened to and to be made to feel amazing, because he never did any of those things. I told him I was lonely in our marriage for a long time and why would I ever regret losing that?”
“I just…fuck, I wish I’d stuck around and listened to the rest of your conversation.”
“I wish you had,” I replied. “Or even better, I wish you’d come in and stood by my side while I told him that you were the better man for me.”
Dex closed his eyes and we were so close, I could feel his eyelashes tickle my skin. He pulled my hips forward and wrapped his arms around my waist, as our foreheads still touched and we continued to breathe each other in.
“I need you to gimme those lips, Katie Cat.”
“I need to give you my lips.”
Dex’s soft lips landed on mine and moved against them, giving me a slow, drugging kiss. It wasn’t demanding or hard, it was romantic and gentle and it seared a path to my heart.
Finally pulling away, Dex moved back a pace so that he was looking me directly in the eye.
“I have something to tell you,” he said, his Adam’s apple bobbing.
“Okay.” My voice quaked with the nervous shortness of breath.
“I love you.”
Dex captured my gaze with his and I didn’t dare move or breathe, in case I broke the spell and woke up. All I could manage was a small smile, but it didn’t deter Dex.
“I love you because you’re so damn amazin’. You make me laugh, you’re strong and independent, you’ve no idea how fucking sexy you are and you not only love your kids unconditionally, but I have this strong damn feeling you’re gonna love mine that way too. This ain’t too soon, Katie Cat. This is meant to be, we are meant to be. We have been a long fucking time in the makin’, it just took us a while to find each other and now we have, well I ain’t lettin’ you go no matter what. From the minute I met you, you kinda knocked me on my ass and I couldn’t get you outta my head, even after one quick meetin’. I shoulda known then that you were gonna blow my world. I tell you, I’ve been livin’ in tall cotton since I met you, Katie Cat.”
I let out a little giggle. “Do you know you’re accent gets really strong when you’re being romantic?”
“Hey, us Texans are as romantic as all git-out, don’tchya know.”
“God, I love you.” I snuggled against Dex’s chest, inhaling him and simply relishing in his love.
“This ain’t a fling for me,” Dex said against my hair. “You know that right?”
I nodded. “I do and that doesn’t scare me.”
“Good, ’cause you also know I’m fixin’ tuh ask you to marry me one day?”
I looked up at him, my chin resting against his breast bone. “As long as you ain’t big hat, no cattle.”
Dex burst out laughing and hugged me tight. “You been practicing Katie Cat?”
“Maybe.” I had to admit, I had Googled some phrases to surprise him with.
“Well I promise you, I always keep my word.” He kissed my forehead, letting his lips linger there. “As much as I’d like to take you to bed for some of that make up sex we were so good at, I’m not sure how long we’ve got. Savannah won’t sleep for long and I ain’t so sure I fancy the idea of her walking in on us.”
“It’s fine,” I replied. “As long as I know I have you, the rest can wait.”
“Yeah, darlin’ I think it can.”
We kissed again and just as we were about to part a little voice cried out behind us.
“Hey Daddy, I’m awake and guess what – it’s poop time.”
We both laughed and pulled apart, turning to see Savannah with her black bed hair and twisted Unicorn t-shirt standing in the doorway, grinning at us.
“I’ll take her,” I said, dropping a quick kiss to Dex’s lips.
“You sure?”
“Yes,” I replied, turning to face the little girl that was already taking a place in my heart. “I’m sure, more than you’ll ever know.”
Dex let me go and as he started to brew fresh coffee, I held out my hand to Savannah, feeling excited about all the joy that was to come. I was excited about the battles we would have raising four kids. I was excited about the joys we would share raising four kids. I was excited about the fun we would have raising four kids. I was even excited about the days that would be spoiled by a single sneeze, because those days would be shared with Dex Michaels – my sexy, silver-haired, tattooed Texan, the man who made me realize that I am amazing, even if my pelvic floor is way past its sell-by date.
3 And a Bit Years Later
Dex
“Daddy, where’s Mumma?”
I looked at my blue-eyed, black-haired eight-year-old and grinned. She was wearing one of Annie’s t-shirts for a dress, a string of Katie’s beads, and on her head her favorite tiara, all topped off with a pair of yellow Chucks. This was her attire for us to go and watch her big brother, Charlie, play soccer.
“She’s in the kitchen, baby. Why?”
Climbing onto my knee, Savannah May Michaels gave me a neck hug and a kiss on my nose and everything seemed perfect in the world.
The last three or so years hadn’t been easy. First settling Savannah with me and then us settling into a family with Katie and the kids, but the last fifteen months had seen a huge turnaround. Savannah had always loved Annie, Isaac, and Charlie, particularly Charlie, although she’d cried like crazy when Isaac moved out and into my old apartment with Scarlett, now his fiancée, deciding it was time to fly the nest when we’d bought a new house. Getting her to open up to Katie though, had taken a little while longer. She liked her, no problem, but Katie wasn’t her momma and at not quite five-years-old, it was hard for her to understand why Katie was
there acting like a mom to her, but her grandma wasn’t, seeing as she barely remembered Cherry. Katie being the amazing woman and mother she was, never gave up and loved that little girl so hard, Savannah had no choice but to love her back. Then, just over a year ago, Savannah called Katie, Mumma, a mixture of the English Mum, that she’d heard the kids call her and the Momma that she’d picked up from living back in the US. When she said it at a family dinner one night, we all stopped speaking and held our breath, looking between Savannah and Katie. Savannah looked at us as though it was a normal thing to say and Katie blubbed. I had to admit, I got a little wet-eyed myself. Although when Savannah started to lose her Texan accent and sound less like me and more like an English kid, it came a close second. The day she asked for ‘chip butties for tea’, I almost screamed the house down.
“I need to show her my outfit,” Savannah said, settling on my lap. “I want to be sure I look nice.”
“You always look nice, doesn’t she Annie?” I asked my step-daughter, who was home from University and had just walked into the room.
“She does,” Annie replied, kissing Savannah’s head as she passed. “But today she looks especially nice for a reason, don’t you Munchkin?”
Savannah grinned and nodded. “It’s for Teddy Robertson.”
“What, the kid whose dad owns a hotel?” I asked, feeling my insides knotting as Savannah nodded excitedly. “And you’re eight. Boys are not allowed, no matter if their dad owns fifty damn hotels.”
Savannah grinned. “I’m going to marry him, Daddy. You need to be nice to him.”
“Like hell I do,” I grumbled.
“Aww, poor Dexter,” Annie said, ruffling my hair. “His baby is growing up.”
“It was bad enough when you started getting serious with Marcus. Don’t even wanna think about my baby being interested in boys. And don’t call me Dexter.”
Annie grinned and blew me a kiss and I didn’t have it in me to care about her damn cheek – I loved it.
It was funny how I’d so easily fallen into the role of dad, first with Savannah and then to a lesser extent with Katie’s kids. Not that I’d ever try and take Carl’s place, we’d already traversed that bump in the road, but I liked to think they loved me in their own way and that I’d be there if they needed me. Carl and I had what I’d call a cautious friendship. I was cautious of him around Katie, because I still truly believed he regretted losing her. Well tough luck, she was my wife now and there was no way I was letting her go. She was too damn precious to me – my world, my all, and I’d learned from his damn mistakes. I always gave her the attention she deserved. I showered her with love, telling her all the time how much she meant to me, and I fucked her damn good almost every day. As for Carl, he was cautious with me because of his kids and I respected that. I’d hate to think of some other guy having an influence on Savannah’s life. That was why I was always there as silent support for Katie with the kids, unless I felt the need to step in – they disrespect their momma and they know I’m mad. My relationship with Carl’s kids was purely as the man married to their mom, but a man who loved them like his own. Charlie and I were buddies and we often talked girls. He’d turned into a bit of a ladies’ man and liked to get my advice from time to time, although I wasn’t sure he liked me kissing his mom in front of him, as he usually escaped to his room. Annie and I got along great, she was doing business at University so asked my advice quite a bit, which I loved. She still had attitude sometimes and that was when we had words, if she talked back to Katie, but those times were getting less and less. As for Isaac, well he was the one I was closest to. We still worked together from time to time, if someone specifically requested me, but I no longer had a group of VIP clients. Katie and I wanted to spend as much time together as we could, we had a lot of years to make up on most couples, so I’d pretty much retired and Heaven & Ink 1 was now Isaac’s to run, with Jethro taking the helm at Heaven & Ink 2, in the centre of Manchester. Isaac was far more talented than I’d ever been – an absolute natural from the first time I placed a tattoo gun in his hand and had turned into a fucking brilliant tattooist, quicker than anyone I’d ever known and I’d trained a lot of people over the years. He was getting noticed by Tattoo Expo organizers all over the place, inviting him along to do a demonstration, or have a stand marketing the studio. He was also getting clients from across the UK, only wanting to be inked by Isaac Grainger. To say I was proud of him was short changing my feelings for that kid. He’d been my best man when I’d married his mom, two and half years ago. Yep, I’d asked her the question just three months after Savannah came to live with me, and only four and a half months into our relationship – I told her I would, but still managed to surprise her with a ring while we waited for pizza at the takeout joint where we first met. Maybe not the most romantic of proposals, but it was perfect for me and my Katie Cat. Some may say it was a little too soon, but fuck if I cared. I loved her too much to risk some other fucker coming along and whisking her from under my nose. If I was truly honest, I think I’d known from the moment I picked her shit up from the floor of the pizza place, she was the woman for me. I just wanted to be sure she was okay having Savannah around and that Savannah was good with her too. Katie was beyond amazing from the start, and even though it took my daughter a little longer to realize it, I knew they were madly in love with each other.