How can I let Clark go?
Chapter Thirty
“Baby girl, you look so beautiful,” I could hear his voice crack.
I bit my lip, trying not to tear up myself and turned to face my father. “Thanks, Daddy.”
In his hands, he held the digital camera that recorded Jada's and my teenage years. He brought it up and proceeded to take pictures of me in my prom dress. He had taken a few shots when mom walked in.
Coming to a stop, she tutted, “I don't why you chose that dress, I liked the other one.”
“And I liked this one,” I responded, crossing my arms. It was a sleek red number that stated Bond Girl rather than shrieked princess.
My mother looked across at dad and he shrugged, “I like this,” he said honestly.
With a groan, mom said, “Like father, like daughter, so disagreeable.”
At this, my father winked at me and I tried to hide my smile. Thankfully, the moment ended with the ringing of the doorbell and the arrival of my date.
The dream began to unravel with my mother urging my father to answer the door and my hurrying to finish up as I knew how mischievous my father could be. I hoped he didn't open the door with the fake rifle.
###
“Good morning, beautiful,” Clark's voice was at first a shock but soon became a comfort. “That must have been a great dream, you were smiling,” he touched my lips. “What were you dreaming of?”
“You,” I lied, catching his finger between my lips. “Do you want to find out what I was dreaming about?”
“Yes,” his voice was raw “But I can't,” Clark groaned.
“Why not?” I pouted.
Before he could answer, there was a rap at the door. My attention snapped to the door that led to the rest of the house. I snatched the loose sheets tightly about me.
“Who's that?” I whispered, expecting everything from an angry ex to an ax murderer.
“That is why I can't stay in bed with you,” Clark said with remorse. It was only then that I realized that he was fully clothed. The exact opposite of me who was without a lick of clothes save the bed linen I was clutching.
“Uncle Clark?” a voice of a boy came through the wooden door. “The eggs are done, what should we do next?”
“We?” I looked up at Clark. There's more than one person in the townhouse I didn't know about?
“Take out the bacon and I'll be down soon,” Clark called out. As we listened to footsteps going down the hall, he said, “That was my godson, Allan, and downstairs is Steve, my nephew. I had promised their mothers I would take them for the day.”
“Okay,” I said slowly. “Then I better go,” I swung my legs off the bed and sat up, all the while clutching the sheets.
“You don't have to go,” Clark watched me hustle around the bedroom, snatching up articles of clothing. “You can hang out with us,” he offered.
Shrugging on the dress I wore the night before, I said, “Thanks, but I'm not exactly dressed for a day with the boys.” I spun around, looking for my shoes which I found under the bed and by the door.
“Then at least stay for breakfast,” he reached out for me. I wanted to leave, all I had to do was open the door and slip out the front door, but the look on his face had my feet walking towards him.
“Just breakfast, then I'm gone,” I said.
Clark nodded, then stood up and kissed me. No, I couldn't have left without a kiss. “They're great kids,” he murmured against my lips before leading me towards the kitchen.
“Guys,” he stepped through the door ahead of me. “I'd like you to meet my friend, Alexa.”
Just before Clark stepped aside, I adjusted my clothes one last time so it didn't look like I had just slapped them on after getting out of bed. Unfortunately, that did nothing from denying the fact that I had slept over.
“Hi guys,” I aimed for casual, which may have worked as quick 'hi's' were sent my way before their attention went towards Uncle Clark.
“Got the bacon,” a sandy-haired boy of about nine or ten held up the package.
Clark gestured for me to sit at one of the stools at an island. From there, I watched him instruct the boy and his godson, a dark skin boy with the bright eyes, on how to cook breakfast. While one stood over sizzling bacon, the other did his best at pouring and flipping pancakes.
“Can I do something?” I asked, tired of twiddling my fingers.
“We've got it covered,” Steve said, flipping a pancake then whooping when it landed perfectly.
“It's okay,” Clark added. “We're cooking breakfast for you,” he said with a wink.
“Yeah,” Allan said over the sizzle. “Uncle Clark says it's one of the ways to make a girl like us more. Only thing is I don't know if mom would let me have a girl over for breakfast.”
“Oh,” I turned to Clark. “Is that so?”
Keeping an eye on the boys, he sat down beside me, “Well, you now know I'm making breakfast for you, doesn't it make you like me more?” he looked across at me.
“Hmm, let me think,” I stalled. “From where I sit, it's those two that are making breakfast.”
“Under my supervision,” Clark pointed out.
“Isn't that child labor?”
“It's more like an apprenticeship.”
“Do you have an answer for everything?”
“Yes,” the boys said in unison.
Clark rolled his eyes and returned his attention to the boys, “That's one less bacon each,” he imitated a stern boss. “Now set the table.”
“Yes, sir,” Allan said as he turned off the stove. With the sleight of hand of an amateur magician, he sneaked a strip of bacon, broke it in two and passed a half to Steve.
“Don't think I didn't see that,” Clark got up and rounded the island. Reaching into the overhead cabinets, he took down four plates, “Take the utensils and set the table.”
Both boys popped their stolen goods in their mouths and took the table settings to the small dining table behind of where I sat.
The breakfast was enjoyable. The food was good and the company was fun. I didn't feel like a fifth wheel, but there was no doubt that the boys worshiped Clark.
“Breakfast was great, I'm glad I stayed,” I said as we walked down the short hallway to the front door. Our fingers were interlaced and I felt Clark's grip tighten. If it weren't for my attire, I would have really considered staying.
“I'm happy you stayed,” he said as we came to a stop at the front door, but neither of us opened it. Even though there was a cab waiting for me outside, and Allan and Steve were in the kitchen washing up, neither of us wanted this to end.
Unfortunately, everything must come to an end. There was a honk from outside and a crash from inside.
Leaning in, Clark kissed me. “I guess we should say bye,” he pulled away.
I didn't want to but I said, “Bye Clark.”
He opened the door, “Bye Alexa.” Once again, he pecked my lips.
I practically skipped down the walk and as I opened the car door, I looked back to see Clark still in the doorway. With one last wave, I got in the taxi.
As I was being driven to my apartment, my mind wandered back to the breakfast. A smile formed on my face while I remembered when Allan asked if I were Clark's girlfriend.
“Well,” he began but didn't finish.
“We're still getting to know each other,” I piped in, to Clark's relief.
“But, you slept over,” Steve pointed out.
“Yes,” I cleared my throat. These boys were sharp. “And that is one of the ways we get to know each other.”
“Really?” Steve looked from me to Clark and back. “What were you doing?”
“Talking,” I said.
“Watching a movie,” Clark said at the same time.
By the smiles the boys exchanged, I knew they didn't believe us. I believed that they knew more than the adults in their lives thought they should know. Thankfully, Clark took control of the conversation. Although the
re was some discomfort in the moment, it was short lived and was replaced with laughter.
“Here we are,” the driver announced, the car slowing down and coming to a stop.
I paid the driver and made my way up to my apartment. As I unlocked the front door, my phone rang. Opening the door, I answered it and made a beeline for the bedroom.
“Hello, beautiful,” a deep voice came through the handset.
“Good morning, Julian,” I kicked off my heels and fell into bed.
“What are you doing for Thanksgiving?” he asked.
“I'm going home,” I answered, pulling the covers over me. “What about you?”
The sheets were cool and already I missed the warmth of another person, their weight sinking me deeper into a sweet release.
“I was hoping that I would be spending it with you,” he replied. “At the cabin...”
“Oh.” I could still smell Clark on my skin. “Well,” this was fast, this was a holiday, this was serious, I left those sentiments unsaid. Instead, I said, “I wasn't planning to spend the entire weekend, how about we do something in the city?”
I imagined Julian on the other side, maybe he was at home, leaning against his kitchen counter or looking out of his window. What was he doing?
“I think that can work,” his words were deliberate. “Any thoughts on what we can do?”
I smiled, “Yes, actually I do. I'll text you the details. I do owe you after all.”
“And I plan to collect,” his voice dipped even lower than his usual deep register.
“I've got to go,” I stifled a yawn. “I'll text you. Bye, Julian.”
“Bye Alexa,” he replied before we hung up.
I stared up at the ceiling as sleep slid into bed with me. Unfortunately, my conscience slipped in on the other side. It whispered that I was doing wrong by these men. How could I make love with one and less than thirty minutes after leaving him be making plans with the other? This was getting serious, meeting Clark's family of sorts and Julian wanting to spend Thanksgiving together. And what about the bet? To win I would have to slow it down, not get to date five, but I was going to go on date four with Julian. Even if I win, I still lose according to Toya... according to me.
I disentangled from the whispers, the thoughts that rose up and tried to sleep like a baby clinging to its mother. Thankfully, sleep embraced me. Unfortunately, my conscience haunted my dreams.
Chapter Thirty-One
We thought it would be wise that we met up before Thanksgiving. A way to fortify ourselves before we rode voluntarily into the storm. Toya was going to visit her father and stepmother on the actual day and spend the weekend with her mother or as she calls it, telling her mother all that went wrong, even if she made it up.
Luisa was going to her husband's family this year and already she was on edge. She was already behind being a Dominicana married to a Puerto Rican. She was trying to make everything perfect, the perfect dish, her kids behaving perfectly, but she knew they would find something wrong, they always did.
Toni was the one who needed the courage. Although the divorce was a sure thing, the Crane-Stewart brood were not in the know. And it was her turn to host the affair. It would all be an act, but would their families really be fooled.
And for me, I was going home. Fear still clutched my heart when I thought of all the things that could be wrong with my father. I would blink back tears and pretend to smile. I buried myself in work but at the oddest times, it would creep in like a thief through a door left open.
“Another round?” the waiter asked as he picked up empty cocktail glasses. He was answered with affirmatives and one change of drink.
“So how are you going to manage?” Luisa asked, turning to Toni once the waiter had left.
Toni shrugged, “Well, the kids don't know so we won't have to worry about them spilling the beans. I'm just going to be strong and make it through dinner.”
“You're going to have a few glasses of wine,” Toya said with an arch of an eyebrow and her signature smirk.
Toni answered with the rise of an imaginary glass.
“When are you going to tell them, though?” I asked.
“I don't know,” Toni sighed. “One idea was to make it a formal announcement, maybe at dessert.”
“Hmm, stuff them and shock them,” Toya said.
“And disappoint them,” Luisa added, placing her hand on Toni's. She knew what married life was like, the way it was about the couple and yet, what happens to that unit sends ripples beyond them. “Is that the way you want to start the holiday season?”
“No,” Toni groaned, then reached for her poison of choice from the waiter who had returned. “Can we get another portion of chips? Of late I've been so hungry.”
The rest of us looked at each other, but we said nothing. One issue at a time.
“Another idea was to send the announcement out with Thank you notes,” Toni sipped and swallowed. “You know, 'Thank you, grandma, for the gifts and Aaron and I are going to get a divorce.'”
“Uh, uh,” Toya reached across and took Toni's drink, switching it with her ginger ale. “You need to think up some new ideas.”
“What's that about?” Toni gestured to the soda and her drink.
“How long have you been late?” Luisa asked.
“Wha? How?”
“You ate that whole bowl of chips by yourself,” I pointed out. “Plus, we've seen you through two pregnancies.”
“I....,” she shrank into herself. “I found out a few days ago, I haven't told Aaron. He probably would think it was a ploy to keep him,” she scoffed.
“Do you want him to stay?” Toya leveled a gaze at her. “Now that you've come to terms with the idea, do you want to be with Aaron?”
Toni shook her head, “We're not good for each other.”
“Do you want to keep this baby?” It was almost as if Luisa and I were not even at the table.
“Yes,” Toni's chin had risen. “It's not going to be easy, but so far none of it has been easy. At least I won't be looking after a man-child as well.”
With that, the tension cracked, then shattered about us.
“You know we're here for you,” I reached across the table and squeezed her hand.
“I know,” Toni sniffed.
“And no alcohol from now on,” Luisa piped in. “Not even to get through Thanksgiving.”
“I know,” she groaned. Picking up the glass of ginger ale, Toni held it up, “To new beginnings and long overdue ends.”
Our glasses tinkled as we toasted.
“Okay, enough about my sob stories,” Toni placed her glass down after taking a sip. “What about you, Alexa? What's the tally?”
As I was slow to answer, Toya did the honors, “Well, it’s three each and when is the fourth one with Julian?”
“This weekend,” I said through a tightened jaw.
“What? He's going with you to your parents' for Thanksgiving?” Luisa spun her head towards me.
“No.” I explained, “Although.... he asked me to spend it with him at his cabin, I worked it out that we would do something in the city when I got back.”
“You're not spending the weekend back home?” Toni asked.
“No,” I shook my head.
This time it was my friends who were looking at each other.
“Well,” Toya picked up the drink Toni had ordered. “I don't mind the extra money.”
“The year is not over, Toya,” I gave her a steely stare.
“So how exactly do you plan to make it to the end of the year without going on the fifth date with either of them?” Luisa asked, her tone cautious.
“It's the holiday season, it's going to be busy, I'm going to be busy,” I replied.
“Do you honestly think that's going to work?” Toya chuckled.
“Yes and you are going to see,” I was confident. I had plans moving forward, excuses already crafted. Work was my fall guy until the year ran out.
“Well, we a
ll will see,” Toni said looking at her watch. “Oh, it's getting late and it won't be long before-”
Her phone chirped with an incoming message. “Aaron sends me a text message.”
Getting to her feet, she pulled out some bills and slid them under her half full glass of ginger ale. “That should cover me,” she said before air kissing us goodbye and hustling out of the bar.
“What do you think?” I asked, watching Toni disappear through the door.
“I think you're crazy,” Toya answered.
I rolled my eyes and looked at her, “I meant about Toni.”
“She's going to be fine,” Toya leaned forward. “It is the ones we think are weak that can prove themselves to be incredibly strong.”
“Here, here,” Luisa raised her glass. “To both.”
“Et tu, Luisa,” I looked at her.
“Y me,” she sipped her cocktail. “But I'll wait and see if I'll be getting extra pocket money for the New Year.”
“Fine,” I said, taking a swig of my drink. Then glanced across at Toya.
“What?” she responded to the smile on my face.
“How's Freckles?” I savored the question as I sat back in my seat. “Last I recalled you were on date five, what number are you on now?”
She looked away, her eyes settling on the glass in front of her, but there was a smile on her face.
“Freckles?” Luisa looked at me then Toya. “Who is Freckles?”
“Someone Toya met before we went to the cabin,” I answered.
“And you're still seeing her?” Luisa's eyes widened and she leaned in. “Toya Randall is seeing someone, will wonders never cease,” she shook her head.
“Her name isn't Freckles,” Toya tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “It's Meredith and she's different.” When she looked up, Luisa leaned back, it was as if Toya had transformed before our eyes. The free-loving woman was softened and just saying the woman's name brought forth the emotions she felt for her. “Wow,” Luisa said at last. “So when do we get to meet Fre- Meredith?”
“New Year's Eve,” she licked her lips. “If we make it that far, you'll meet her then.”
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