She closed the front door a second later, re-locking it. I hopped off the porch and headed up to the garage apartment. A curious satisfaction filled my chest.
What an interesting night it had been.
Charlie
Several candles and other miscellaneous decor filled my arms as I made my way to daddy’s office. Trying to adjust the largest candle under my chin so that I could maneuver my keys in the lock was proving a difficult task. It was then that I was offered help from a paramedic who looked like he’d just walked off an exotic island. He swung the door open for me.
“Thanks,” I said, laying down my treasures on the desk, “if only I had a few more arms.”
“Whoa…you’ve made quite a dent in here.” He looked around the office in surprise, “I saw the work he left for you—this is impressive.”
“Yeah, well, it’s not quite up to par with extinguishing fires or saving lives…but someone has to fight the war against clutter.”
He laughed, holding out his hand for me to shake, “I’m Kai Alesana, I’m sure you don’t remember, but we met years ago at a Christmas party.”
I shook my head, sheepishly. There was hardly a fireman here I did remember—it had been too long.
“Well, I hope Briggs isn’t irritating you too much.”
Briggs?
“Oh…you mean Manny, nah he’s alright,” I replied as he released my hand.
“Manny?” Kai asked, confused.
“Yeah...that’s what I call him anyway.” I shrugged, “He’s my man-nanny.”
Before I could even give my explanation in full, Kai was bent over, cackling. Two other guys came into the office then, asking what was so funny. Between broken breaths Kai repeated what I had just said. I smiled as the men responded in much the same way.
Each time I walked through the station to grab something I needed from the supply closet or kitchen, I heard the phrase swirling about. I hadn’t seen him yet today—Briggs, now that will take some getting used to—but I was sure he was around.
The alarm had sounded several times during the morning, but I was never alone for long. Men popped in and out of the office to see what the cleaning-fairy had been up to, each introducing themselves as they entered. I understood now why my dad always spoke so highly of them—they were a fun bunch.
With the surfaces streak-free, windows open and candles lit, I started to sort through the piles. I reached into my satchel and grabbed my reading glasses. My dad’s script was tiny. Each document not only needed to be re-categorized, but also needed to be logged by date.
Oy Vey.
I couldn’t help but wonder if all these papers had been mixed up on purpose, but my father liked efficiency too much to do something that extreme. With all the work ahead of me, I’d be lucky to have it finished within the timeframe he allotted.
While bent over a file labeled “equipment updating”, I felt something hit the top of my head, before falling onto the desk. I glanced up.
A french fry.
“You missed lunch, Shortcake,” Briggs said, putting a bag of fast food down in front of me.
I wanted to tell him I didn’t eat fast food and that I found it quite repulsive that anyone did…but I didn’t.
“Oh…uh, thanks,” I said.
“Although, I’m none too pleased that you out-ed me this morning.” Briggs’ eyes were full of amusement as it dawned on me what he was referring to.
“If only I’d known you wanted to keep it as a pet-name between us,” I mocked in my best southern-belle accent, “I never would have told them.”
He laughed, pulling a chair up to sit down opposite me at the desk. Suddenly, I was nervous.
What is he doing?
He pushed the lunch sack closer to me as if my lack of chowing-down was due to proximity of the bag, and not the contents inside it. I opened it slowly, the overpowering aroma of greasy fries filling the air. My stomach growled.
Oh shut up, stomach! Not all food is created equal…
I placed the fries and chemically altered chicken sandwich on the desk and waited for him to say something more.
Nope. Nada.
Okay, this isn’t awkward…
I ate a couple of fries and my stomach growled again in response.
“So, I was thinking...” Briggs began.
“Yes?” I reached for another couple of fries.
“You like cards?”
“Uh…that’s not random or anything,” I said.
“Random—maybe, but a very simple question nonetheless. Do. You. Like. Playing. Cards?” He emphasized each word like I was unfamiliar with the English language.
“Depends.”
“On?”
I leaned back, assessing him carefully, “What’s at stake.”
His laugh was low and deep, “You’re a girl after my own heart.”
I felt a jolt of electricity charge through me at his words. Of course he was only joking, naturally, but the uncomfortable tension seemed to hang in the air like salt at the beach.
“What do you think about having a couple of my friends over tomorrow night—for poker?” He leaned in, putting his elbows of the desk as he waited for my response.
“Is this a new tactic to get me to stay away from the booty-call clubs?”
Smiling, he pushed his chair out slowly and stood, “That’s ten points to you, Shortcake.”
And then he was out the door.
I shook my head, biting my bottom lip as I tried to restrain my ridiculous grin.
**********
The cool feel of the ivory beneath my fingers was home.
There was nothing I knew better than the keys of a piano, nothing more natural for me to give my life to. With each press of my fingertip I could orchestrate a piece of time and space. The melody was mine alone, responding only to my creative impulse and desire.
And in this ever-shifting world, that type of control was unmatched anywhere else in my life.
I grabbed the composition I had been working on during the last two semesters and played it over and over, getting stuck at the same bar each time through. I could hear the notes somewhere in the far corner of my mind…yet it just wouldn’t transpire correctly when I tried to mimic it.
I thought of my favorite music professor—Mr. Wade—and smiled. He always had some crazy story about finding his latest muse; I was suddenly very envious of him.
I missed school.
Despite how awful the last six months had been, or how hard it was to show up for class and complete my assignments, I fit there. The students, the staff, and even the classes had all felt tailored for someone just like me.
Yes, I had been angry when the Dean suspended me for the term, but if I was honest with myself, the anger I felt was not toward the scholarship committee. I had never been one to slack off in school. I’d always had plenty of drive to push through the temptations of the social world, but that was all before Alex.
Alexander Monroe had swooped into my life almost as fast as he had swooped out of it.
He was a drug to an addiction never satisfied.
I could still feel the way his eyes had watched me during my audition last summer. He had followed me into the parking lot afterward, and I had known it was him before I ever turned around. His very presence was intoxicating, and I was drunk on his charm after just one sip. With him in focus, every line had been blurred. And within only a few days I had offered him my very soul.
I was desperate to be loved by him; he was all I wanted.
Yet no matter how he had spun it, no matter what he promised, only one fact remained:
Alex Monroe didn’t want me.
Chapter Four
Briggs
“Did you get my birthday invitation, Uncle B?” Cody asked.
“Sure did—hey, are you calling to un-invite me?” I teased.
My nephew laughed. “No way! You’re the only one who knows the rules for water wars.”
I had made the game up three year
s ago at Cody’s fourth birthday. Each year I threw in a new twist to make it more exciting than the year before, thus insuring my indisputable place-hold at the birthday party.
“Ha, right! And don’t you forget it,” I said.
“Okay, Mom says I gotta go do my homework now—I really hate homework!”
“Yeah, well, she used to get on my case about that too, bud, but she’s right,” I countered.
“I know, I know. Bye Uncle B.”
I hung up the phone, shaking my head and chuckling to myself. I loved that kid more than my life, and I missed seeing him like I used to.
I closed the hood of my truck, wiping my hands on an old towel scrap I’d shoved into my back pocket.
Up until a year ago, Angie and Cody had lived five minutes from me. I saw them several times a week, but when Angie was offered a job as a floral shop manager, she convinced me that moving was the right decision for them. My anxiety over the distance between us had not lessened with time. An hour drive was likely insignificant to most people, but Angie was not most people to me. With the horror I’d watched her live through, an hour felt like a continent away some days.
I had warned her not to marry Dirk—begged her even, but she was blinded by desperation. Marriage wasn’t the rescue plan she had hoped for—instead, it became the thing she needed to be rescued from the most. Her lies, excuses, and avoidance could only last for so long before the truth finally surfaced, just like her bruises had.
Angie’s pregnancy was the reason we left Colorado, to leave the demons of our past behind us. But when Cody was nearly three, Angie’s ex-husband found her again. If I hadn’t gone back to the house that night to grab my wallet, she wouldn’t have survived.
I probably wouldn’t have either.
My phone buzzed in my pocket.
Kai: What time tonight?
Me: 6?
Kai: Sure. Tori’s off today. Pizza?
Me: Sure, thx. I’ll buy drinks.
Kai: K
I smiled then, thinking about what Kai would say if I texted back my new vocab word of the week—the one I’d learned from Charlie: Perf. I was pretty sure in order for me to pull that off though I would have to look and smell like a sorority girl. Not gonna happen.
Why was I even thinking about her?
After taking a shower, I left to go grab a few more things from my old apartment before hitting up the store. I thought about telling Charlie I was leaving, but I hadn’t seen her all day. She probably wouldn’t even notice I was gone.
Charlie
As I cleaned the kitchen, I heard him leave. Where was he going?
Wait—why do I care? I don’t.
I scrubbed the sink and pretended not to feel his absence. Though we hadn’t talked since yesterday in the office, I had seen him this afternoon working on his truck in the driveway. I had also seen him talking on the phone.
Did he have a girlfriend?
If he did, she had better be pretty secure in herself—he was a flirt, yet even as I thought it, there was a dramatic difference between his kind of charm and the charm that Alex possessed. Manny—Briggs, was light-hearted, fun-loving and a pain in my side, while Alex breathed seduction.
I glanced at the clock after vacuuming. It was 5:15. Briggs had failed to communicate a time to me for when this game extravaganza would commence, but I figured since he was still gone, that it would be a bit.
Time had never passed as slowly as it had since I’d been a shut-in. I had a whole new appreciation for those with agoraphobia. I grabbed my zip-up and walked out to the back deck. I made a mental note to tell Manny that I wanted to go to the bookstore soon since this was to be my life for the next few weeks. I hadn’t read a good fiction masterpiece for a while—music theory hadn’t really allowed for much pleasure reading.
I leaned back and let the cool April breeze float across my face. I closed my eyes, letting the smell of pine needles take me away.
**********
I had seen Jenny’s dad carrying a small pokey tree with funny branches into their apartment once. She had lived next door to us. The smell of it was strong, and I wondered what he was going to do with it once he brought it inside. Jenny said it was for Christmas.
I didn’t know what they meant.
Mama was awake on the bed went I went back into our apartment. She glanced at me briefly before rolling back over onto her side. I approached her quietly—curiosity at the forefront of my mind.
“Mama, what’s Christmas?”
“Where’d ya hear that word?”
“From Jenny—she lives next door.”
“It’s a holiday.”
“What does holiday mean?”
“It’s just something for rich people.”
I thought about that for a second, wanting it to mean something to my four-year-old brain.
“Are we rich, Mama?”
She laughed, but there was nothing happy about it.
“Hardly. Now stop asking me questions, Charlotte. Can’t you see I’m trying to sleep?”
“Sorry, Mama.”
I left the room, and never asked about it again.
**********
I opened my eyes and searched the sky.
When I came to live with Max and Julie Lexington, my life had been drastically altered. The paperwork for my adoption took less than nine months to finalize, and I had lived with them under the guidelines of foster care until the courts deemed us an official family.
I didn’t question their love for me, but I did wonder at times…
They had been so desperate for a child, the same way I had been desperate for a home. They would have loved any kid in need that was brought to them. It wasn’t like they had asked for me specifically; I was just next on the list of broken, rejected children.
They were good parents though, no matter how I treated them.
I knew I had hurt them when I accepted the proposal without their blessing, but I also knew that they would ultimately forgive me. They were, after all, the ones who had taught me that family forgave.
The risk had seemed so minimal when I chose Alex over them—but now? Now, I didn’t even know how to start to repair the damage I’d done. All I knew was that it was there, like a piece of glass that had been smashed by a rock. One tiny movement in any direction could shatter it completely.
The disappointment I saw in their eyes when they looked at me was almost as painful as the isolation I felt from them.
“That’s minus three to you, Shortcake.”
I spun around in my chair. Manny was walking across the deck in jeans and a red fleece pullover. My insides squirmed as he approached. I didn’t want to admit, even just to myself, how good he looked in red.
“I don’t think you understand how the point system works.” I rolled my eyes at him before turning back toward the yard.
“It would have been plus three if you had stayed in the house, but since it took me a good ten minutes to find you…it’s a minus.” He pulled out a chair for himself. I could feel his eyes on my face, but purposefully avoided them.
“So when does this shindig start tonight, anyway?” I asked.
“Any minute. Just waitin’ on our guests—consequently, they have our dinner, too.” He laughed, leaning back in his seat and kicking his legs out in front of him.
Our guests?
What would it be like to be an “our” with Briggs? I shook the thought away quickly.
“Please tell me it’s not fast food.”
“Nope…even better, pizza!”
I couldn’t help but laugh then, his child-like enthusiasm was catchy.
Briggs
A gnawing feeling in my gut overwhelmed me the second I saw her sitting outside.
I’ve never been good at guessing emotions. They were messy, uncomfortable and complicated to boot. But a woman’s emotions? Forget it. That was the kind of jigsaw puzzle that was missing pieces before it ever left the factory.
But still, something about the
look on her face called to me.
I studied her for several seconds, and for whatever reason, I was reminded that I needed her number—in case of an emergency. I grabbed her phone off the patio table and scrolled over to her contacts. She looked at me incredulously, but didn’t make a move for it.
Hmm…does she trust me?
“If you wanted my number, you could have just asked me for it.”
“Nah, this way is better,” I said, grinning.
“Whatever, just bring it inside with you—it’s cold out here.” She stood and walked toward the house, leaving me alone with her phone in my hand.
The snoop in me wanted to do a little investigation work, but she had just taken all the fun out of that. If she didn’t care what I might find, then there was probably not much to find.
I plugged my contact info into her phone and then texted myself so that I could save her info in mine. The purple, glittered phone buzzed in my hand then. I looked down as a calendar reminder flashed on the screen.
April 7th - 6pm
Wedding Countdown…21 days!
Call Tux Shop- confirm fitting time.
What?
Today is April 7th—but what is this about?
A twenty-one day countdown?
I closed the reminder and went into her calendar, ignoring any feeling of wrong-doing. There, in the square for April 28th were the words that deflated my airway like a popped-balloon.
My Wedding Day!!!
The doorbell rang.
Charlie
I reached the front door as Briggs came inside the house, sliding the back door closed with a bang. He flew past me at a pace that could have won a gold medal, and handed me my phone. There was nothing gentle about the hand-off. I looked at him, but he wouldn’t make eye contact with me. Instead, he opened the door, which consequently pushed me behind it.
“Hey bro!” Kai said as he walked inside.
“Hey,” Briggs replied.
I peeked out from my place in the corner as a very pretty women walked in after Kai. I assumed it was his fiancé, Tori. She looked at me and smiled, reaching her hand out.
All She Wanted (Letting Go) Page 4