He had called us that just this morning.
But he had kissed me—told me that he wanted me just last night.
That lone argument quickly became too weak to combat the doubts that started rolling in faster than I could push them away. The over-thinking, over-analyzing female in me started to question—everything. He had kissed me on what could have been my most vulnerable moment to-date, on a very vulnerable night. What if it wasn’t meant to be romantic at all? What if the real reason he didn’t say more last night after our kiss was because he didn’t have anything more to say?
Maybe he was only trying to comfort me, show me compassion after I had just revealed the ugly truth about my mama and Alex.
Another thought hit me then, plunging my new conclusions ever deeper into the well of assumption.
I could not recall even one time when Briggs had complimented my appearance. Other than his abrasive comments about my leggings, I had no memory to prove he was even remotely attracted to me. He had never used words like beautiful or pretty with me—he hadn’t even said the one that I considered to be the most pitiful of them all: Cute.
There was nothing to recall—that cold revelation was like a slap to the face.
He didn’t see me that way. He didn’t see me the way I saw him.
Oh gosh. I’ve been such an idiot.
The surge of insecurity pumping through my body had raised my sensitivity meter to an all-time high. How could I have thought there was something more between us? I hadn’t been paying attention…I had only been thinking of my feelings for him—not the other way around.
I jumped at the sound of Brigg’s voice in my ear. “You alright?”
I nodded absently, smiling. He did not look convinced, but re-directed his focus once again to the front. I did the same.
Briggs
“I hope you’ll join us today,” Mrs. Sales—Tori’s mother said after the service.
“Well, let me double check with my Activities Director, but I think that is still the plan. She seems to be ogling your grandbaby at the moment,” I said.
She looked toward where Charlie was standing, “Tori tells me how talented your girlfriend is at the piano, she was just overjoyed when Charlie agreed to compose her processional,” Mrs. Sales said.
At the word girlfriend my mind sharpened instantly.
Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday.
“Oh…we’re not…uh, it’s not that way with us. We’re friends,” I smiled awkwardly, but knew if I didn’t address her error now it would likely come up at lunch in front of the entire family later.
The attractive older woman in front of me raised her eyebrows and lowered her voice as she said, “Well, you could have fooled me.”
You and me both lady—especially on nights when I’m kissing her!
I smiled and told her I would confirm lunch with Charlie before exiting the conversation. I turned to where Charlie was standing in a group with Stacie and Tori—talking baby lingo. She was currently kissing the chubby cheeks of the four-month-old.
I am not jealous of that baby.
I am not jealous of that baby.
I am not jealous of that baby.
“Hey,” I said, breaking my mental rant as I approached them.
“Hey yourself,” Charlie replied, never diverting her gaze from the baby.
“Are you still good with going to lunch at the Sales-,” I started.
“Ha! We were just talking about that. I figured since she said yes, you were likely on board too—like a package deal, right?” Stacie asked, her voice surprisingly loud for indoors.
I laughed. “Who wouldn’t want to be shrink-wrapped next to this cute little pixie?” I said, nudging Charlie who was now standing at full attention, her face turning a shade of dark pink.
Huh? What did I say?
Both Stacie and Tori laughed, but Charlie’s face stayed frozen—mortified at something. Her pink cheeks grew darker.
Recover!
“Uh, yes, I’m game if you are, Charlie,” I said.
She nodded, while averting her gaze back to the baby.
I looked back to Tori, “We’ll meet you there.”
“Sounds great,” Tori and Stacie said in unison as they broke away from the pod we’d formed in the lobby.
I couldn’t get a read on Charlie’s face before she had turned and walked toward the parking lot.
Urgh...Women!
**********
A full five minutes had ticked by without any talking as we drove.
This was not the usual comfortable silence we shared; this was like breathing in paint fumes—pretty noticeable.
“So,” I began, “Correct me if I’m wrong here, but am I getting the silent treatment right now?”
“You don’t ask someone who’s giving the silent treatment if they’re giving the silent treatment. That’s like asking an opera singer if they are going to use vibrato,” she said flatly.
“Oh…well, I guess you’re talking now, so let’s hear it. Why are you ticked at me? Why did you turn all shades of red back there?”
She turned toward the window, staring out. I thought I was going to have to come up with another way to crack her, when she finally opened her mouth and spoke.
“I was embarrassed, Briggs,” she said softly.
“I gathered that much…but why? I don’t understand. Did I say something wrong? You reacted like I called you an ugly green ogre or something.”
She sat quietly, something I wasn’t used to from her.
I searched the files of my socially-lacking man brain, desperate for some clues to tell me what I was missing. Blank. That’s what beamed back at me when I double-checked the folder labeled Women.
“Charlie…help me out here, please,” I said, trying to control the frustration that was leaking into my voice.
“Your joke, Briggs—it just made me feel...young.”
What? Okay, I understand women so much less than I thought I did.
My mouth hung open. I had no words—like nothing. I blinked several times trying to form a cognitive thought so I could rebut her statement. It was then I remembered debate class—one of the only classes I didn’t fail in high school. We would start by reiterating the other team’s argument. That was the best plan I had—or really the only plan I had.
“Charlie, you’re saying that my joke about shrink-wrapping you made you feel…young?” I asked, testing the waters cautiously even though everything in me wanted to laugh at the ridiculous question I had just asked.
“No.”
I took a deep breath, replaying her previous words in my head again.
“Um…that I agreed we were a packaged deal?” I tried again.
“No!” she said, looking at me like I was the crazy one.
But that’s when a light bulb went off. What had I called her—a cute little pixie?
“I embarrassed you by calling you a cute little pixie?” I asked, watching her shoulder drop in confirmation. “Charlie, I didn’t mean anything by it. You know I don’t actually think you’re a pixie, right?”
She turned her head sharply, “I couldn’t care less if you thought I was a pixie or a sprite or even a zombie, but I don’t want to be cute, Briggs. I’m a grown woman—I may be shorter than most sixth grade boys, but I don’t want to be cute. That term is reserved for children with pigtails and missing front teeth.” She said pointed to her mouth.
That’s what she thinks? That I see her as cute?
I turned off the two-lane highway that led to Middleton, pulling onto the shoulder. She jumped in her seat, looking at me like I was some kind of crazy ax-murder. I wasn’t. I was just a man on a mission.
“Get out, please,” I said.
“What? What are you doing, Briggs?” she asked folding her arms over her chest.
“Get out, please,” I said, again.
She huffed, stepping out of the vehicle. I came around to her side as she tried to find her footing in the gravel, which proved difficult in those tall cork-like
heels she had on.
I stood in front of her.
“Have I ever told you a lie?” I asked her.
She looked up at me, startled. Her arms gesturing to the sky as she answered.
“How would I know the answer to that?”
“Do you think I have ever lied to you, Charlie?”
“No,” she said, taking a deep breath, “I don’t think you’ve ever lied to me.”
“I can promise you that I have never told you a lie—other than my slight misleading about Cody’s birthday party,” I said firmly.
“Okay?” Her eyes were narrowed, waiting with confused concentration.
I took one step toward her.
“You are, without a doubt, the most beautiful woman I have ever known—outside, inside, every side. You’re beautiful when you laugh, when you cry, when you rage, and when you sleep. You’re beautiful from sunrise to sunset, and each moment in between,” I said, taking a step closer to her as she leaned against my truck door, “When I watched you play the piano, I couldn’t even define that kind of beauty, and it was right in front of me. I have said it a thousand times in my head Charlie, but I could say it all day long and it still wouldn’t make it any less true. You are beautiful.”
TUESDAY!
TUESDAY!
TUESDAY!
Charlie
I leaned against the cool metal of the door behind me as if willing it to help me stand—or keep me standing. I wasn’t sure which. I swallowed hard, searching his face, his eyes, his mouth. I could feel the heat flash up through my chest and into my cheeks again, but embarrassment was no longer at the cause.
Briggs was.
He stood only inches away from me now, but we both seemed frozen.
“Do you believe me?” His voice was husky yet soft, breaking the spell between us.
I nodded.
“Good,” he looked down at his feet, “I think we should probably get up to the house before they send out a search party.”
I nodded again.
It was the first time in the month I had known Briggs that he didn’t open my door for me. Instead, he took a step back, waiting for me to climb in. Was he afraid to get close to me? He walked around the back of his truck, taking his time before joining me again in the cab.
Am I still breathing?
I honestly wasn’t sure.
Chapter Twenty
Briggs
“This can’t be just one house, can it?” Charlie asked, walking up the driveway.
“Well, I guess that’s completely relative to how one defines house. To the Prince of Persia, this is a house…yes,” I said, watching Charlie’s eyes grow wide as she took it all in.
The Sales Estate was massive. They had something like twenty-plus acres, a driving range, a pool, a spa, and patios on every side. This was a house built for entertainment, and that was what the Sales did best: Entertain. I had been to Kai and Tori’s engagement party here, as well as a fundraising event for some charity or another. Both those events had been first class—no doubt about it. Before we made it to the front door, Stacie was there, ushering us in with exuberance.
“Hey ya’ll! Come on in—Briggs, the guys are out back. Charlie you can come with me to the kitchen, we’re just going over some last minute details for the wedding before we serve lunch,” Stacie said, pulling on Charlie’s arm.
I felt like we had just been ambushed by the paparazzi—only it was just Stacie. Not a single camera to be found. I was certain now that this woman did not have an inside voice. Instinctively, I pulled back on Charlie’s arm, caught off guard by our forced and immediate separation. Charlie looked at me, shrugging her shoulders and giving me her most endearing smile.
Reluctantly, I let her go.
“Relax, Briggs, you’ll get her back,” Stacie said, looking over her shoulder at me. Her arm was already looped through Charlie’s as they headed to some unknown location, away from where I stood.
“Okay…” I mumbled to myself, before tuning into my testosterone radar and seeking out the man-hideaway location.
**********
The three men: Tori’s Dad—Richard, Tori’s brother-in-law—Jack, and Kai, were all outside, standing around a large stainless steel grill. The outdoor kitchen was massive and I was sure that the grill could easily handle several hundred pounds of steak at one time. It was impressive.
“Hey there, Briggs, glad you could join us today,” Richard said, giving me a hard pat on the arm as I approached them.
“Thanks for the invite. I never pass up a good steak,” I said.
“You never pass up free food period,” Kai laughed.
I shrugged. It was true.
“So, is everything confirmed for the bachelor party this weekend?” Jack asked me.
“Yep, and I have a few more things up my sleeve, too.” I said, smiling.
“Good…we’ll have to connect on those later,” Jack said.
Kai was totally in the dark when it came to the upcoming weekend, which was exactly how I wanted it.
“Why do I have the feeling that I’m going to regret asking either of you to be in my wedding after this weekend?” Kai asked, looking at each of us with raised eyebrows.
“Brother, you can regret all you want, it won’t change a thing I have planned, though!” I laughed.
Richard laughed as he poked at the sizzling meat and Kai smiled, shaking his head as he turned toward the grill.
I could hear the cackling of a sinister villain inside my head.
Next weekend will be memorable—no doubt about it.
Charlie
“Do you want to hold her?” Stacie asked as she took Kailynn out of the travel crib she had been sleeping in.
“Yes, please!” I said, holding out my arms to take her from Stacie. “I don’t think I’ll want to give her back though.”
“Oh you will, believe me. That girl has a hunger-awareness cry like no baby I’ve ever heard. She’ll let everyone in a three-block radius know when it’s time to eat,” Stacie laughed.
I followed her into the kitchen and snuggled Kailynn closer to me, wrapping her soft pink blanket around her little bare legs. Stacie must have taken off her pink tights, but she was still in her Sunday dress. I smiled at her as she reached her hand toward my mouth, trying to curl her fingers around my bottom lip. I could have melted right then. I laughed, kissing her tiny fingers.
The women were on some tangent about the food tent rental, but I was in my own world swinging my hips from side to side, bouncing slightly to keep the giggles from Kailynn coming. She obviously loved movement. Every once and a while, Tori’s mom, Lucina, would glance over at me and ask my thoughts on the matter, but I never offered an opinion. If I said anything, I would simply reiterate what Tori had already expressed. I knew better than to go against the bride.
Regardless, Lucina was likely to get her way in the end. Tori looked up at me, diverting from the tent conversation entirely.
“So Charlie, Tori told me that you’re finished with the processional piece, is that correct, darling?” Lucina asked me.
“Yes, I just finished it a few days ago,” I said smiling.
“Oh, that’s fantastic! I hope you’ll do us the honor today and play it for us? We have a piano in the den just off the dining room.”
I froze, I hadn’t prepared for that—I hadn’t even played it for Tori yet. But again, Lucina’s face suggested that no wasn’t really an option.
“I um, I was hoping I could get Tori’s feedback first before I played it for anyone else,” I said politely, switching Kailynn to rest on my other arm.
“Tori you don’t mind, do you dear?”
Tori searched my face as if gauging my response.
“I would love to hear it today, Charlie, but if you’re uncomfortable with that then we can wait and do it privately later this week like we had planned,” Tori suggested.
I smiled at her thoughtfulness, but I could see the excitement on her face.
“Okay
, should I play it after lunch?” I asked the group.
“Yes, please!” Lucina said, offering me a shoulder squeeze and a kiss on the cheek.
I flushed at the sudden attention shift. Though I had performed for hundreds of people, it was the small, intimate gatherings that sent my anxiety soaring.
**********
Lunch was served outside under a canopy on one of the many decks that wrapped around the house. I offered to hold Kailynn so that Stacie and Jack could enjoy their meal. I would rather hold a baby than eat any day of the week. She had fallen asleep in my arms and Stacie told me that I was quickly making my way to the top of the babysitter list. I smiled.
I sat next to Briggs as I continued to slowly rock the baby in my arms. He kept adding things to my plate even after I had scolded him to stop. He paid no attention to my pleas, however. As the meal came to an end, Stacie started to reminisce about some wedding tablecloth fiasco at her and Jack’s wedding. The table roared with laughter at her dramatics. She had quite a way of telling stories. Apparently, a few wrongly marked receipts had nearly meant her island themed wedding reception would have sported Beeswax yellow tablecloths instead of the Bahaman Blue she had ordered.
I was so caught up listening to Stacie that I didn’t notice Briggs at my ear until he spoke, goose bumps pricking my arms immediately.
“You need to eat, Shortcake.”
I looked at him, scrunching up my face in rebellion. He raised his eyebrows in a silent challenge. Before I knew it, his arms came underneath mine, scooping Kailynn onto his chest in one smooth movement. I bit back a smile at the sight.
“Baby thief,” I whispered.
He winked at me, gesturing toward my plate again with a nod of his head. I picked up my fork and knife, mumbling just loud enough for him to hear, “And a food pusher, too.”
The quiet rumble of his laugh shot flames through my chest, and I could not hold back my smile any longer.
Briggs
After clean up—which I was excused from on account of the sleeping baby in my arms—Lucina directed everyone to the music den. Stacie took Kailynn from me, claiming she would be screaming in a matter of minutes, demanding to be fed.
All She Wanted (Letting Go) Page 15