Dawson cowers away from her. I know she means it. I realise she's not sane about this. I can't blame her. It's festered inside her too long. I wonder if I should try and take the gun off her. But I'm not that stupid.
"Anna," it hurts to speak and my voice comes out hoarse. I wonder how close he came to strangling me. Or is this from Kylie. The thought fills me with horror. I push it away. "Anna you have to call the police."
She ignores me and keeps staring at Dawson. "What happened?"
"I didn't mean to hurt her," he snivels. "I just wanted to keep her quiet."
I manage to get myself up on my feet. I go and stand beside Anna while she holds the gun on him.
She says, "Didn't mean to?" She's trembling, right on the edge, burning up with anger and hate.
"It was an accident. Someone came by," he says. "I told her no one must find our special place but she wouldn't keep quiet. I never wanted to hurt her. It was an accident."
He keeps using that word and I could kill him myself. But I say, "Anna, we have to call the police."
She glances at me and back to Dawson. "I called them already," she says. "You need to go back out into the woods and direct them here."
"Anna…"
"Just go," she snarls. "I won't do anything unless he makes me."
I wait for a moment then I scramble up through the tree roots and head back the way Kylie came. I don't know what Anna's told them but I expect the cops to come the way we did. Instead I hear sirens and there are lights flashing through the trees. There must be a road closer than I thought. I hear car doors slamming. I see them coming down a path further down into the wood.
"Over here," I shout. Then I stand still and wait while they come up on me.
The first cops are in uniform. I tell them I'm with Mrs Lanson, and she called them. I tell them we need to get back to her. But they get on their radios and speak to someone called Inspector Lewis. Soon there are more cops and a couple of plain clothes guys.
One of them is fiftyish, haggard and sort of saggy looking. But he's got sharp flint coloured eyes. He comes up to me. "I'm Inspector Lewis. Are you the young man who has been helping Mrs Lanson?"
"Yes," I say. "She's got Dawson. We need to help her." I figure it's the best way to put it.
The inspector doesn't look fazed. He just asks, "Which way?"
I lead them back through the woods. When we get close I shout, "Anna," so she'll know we're coming. The inspector goes first with a couple of uniforms. By the time they let me follow Dawson's in handcuffs. Anna's talking to the Inspector like they're old friends. There's no sign of the gun.
I lean against the tree feeling weird. Anna looks as cool as a cucumber. She's showing the Inspector where the biscuit tin is. They come over to me. I push myself upright.
The Inspector eyes me for a moment. "Mrs Lanson thinks the murder happened here and that Kylie's probably buried close by?"
I nod once. I don't know what she's told them. I can't believe she would tell him the truth. "I think she's right," I say and hope that will be enough. I know she's right.
The Inspector's still eyeballing me until Anna says, "I'm sure Dawson will tell you everything. He knows it has to come out now." She says this real cold. Like she has some sort of hold over him. I wonder what happened while we were gone.
The Inspector stares around. His face looks even more haggard. "She was so close to home," he says. There are cops scurrying around and more sirens. The Inspector shepherds us out and back to the cop cars. "You'll need to come to the station," he says.
I don't like that. Anna looks at me and shakes her head.
"It's OK, Tommy. I've explained to Inspector Lewis."
I wish I knew what she'd said. But no one puts handcuffs on me and when we get to the station no one locks me up. I feel a bit better. I get a cup of tea and they ask if I want to see the doctor for my head. I say no. But I don't get what I really want, to talk to Anna before they interview us and that makes me nervous.
But when he talks to me, Lewis makes it clear he thinks I can do what Anna does and I go along with him, keeping it vague. It's nice to be one of the good guys for once. Or it would be if I could get the thoughts of what happened to Kylie out of my head. But I don't think that's ever going to go away.
I tell Lewis all of it. I guess some of the detail is a bit too graphic because afterwards he's looking at me really weird. I shut up. But I still can't get it out of my head. I hate that we made her go through it again. But I don't tell Lewis that. I'm sort of losing it a bit and I'm glad when they finish up and drive us back to Anna's.
It's late. She makes hot chocolate and we just sit in the kitchen not talking. Then she asks, "What happened to Kylie?"
I figure she means in the end so I tell her about the ghosts coming for her, as best I can. Afterwards she just stares at me. I can't tell what she's thinking.
"What do you think," I have to ask. "Will she be OK?"
She looks away from me. "I don't know, Tommy." The way she says it tells me to shut up.
I wanted to ask her about Danny and the ghosts but now I can't. I don't suppose she'll say anything different to what she said the other night. But I want her help. I decide I'll ask her tomorrow.
I want to know what happened to the gun, but I don't ask. I figure she and Lewis have history. Somehow she got him to clear up all the stuff with Oxford so I won't be in trouble when I get back. I wish I knew what she told him. Before I can ask she says, "I'm going to bed."
She looks gaunt, worn down. I feel like I should say something but I don't know what to say. There's too much we can't say.
I walk upstairs with her and all I say is, "Goodnight."
Chapter Twenty-Four
I don't sleep much, every time a close my eyes I see the woods. And I hear Kylie scream. In the end I get up. When I come downstairs, Anna's sitting at the kitchen table hunched over a mug of coffee. She looks as bad as I feel. But it's over and we're OK. Perhaps she's made things right. It's not something I can say to her. "Good morning."
She doesn't speak while I get coffee.
When I sit down she says, "Do you want something to eat before I run you back to Oxford?" It's a reasonable question. But her tone and body language says I want you gone now.
She's so angry it's like a slap. She has that look again. As if she's found a nasty bug among her cauliflowers and she wishes she could forget the organic shit and use something really nasty to get rid of it for good. It throws me for a moment.
"Just toast, thanks," I mumble. I don't know what's wrong. What's changed over night? After what we went through, I need to talk to her. "Did you sleep OK?"
"After yesterday? What do you think?" she snarls this at me, like it's the final straw. She gets up and puts the bread in the toaster. When she comes back to the table she opens the paper.
I realise it was a dumb question. The things that happened yesterday, it was bad enough for me. But for me it's sort of done, though I'm never going to forget Kylie. I guess it's even worse for Anna. She's put things right, but that doesn't change the past. I suppose all those years of guilt and fear aren't just going to go away. She holds the paper stiff like a barrier. She's one angry lady and at first I can't work out why.
Then it hits me like a shovel to the head. I know what she did. Things no one else knows. Is that what this is about?
The toast pops and she gets up to get it before I can move. I look up as she brings it to the table and I see it in her eyes. She can't bear that I know.
"Here." She slams a plate with two slices of toast down in front of me. "There's butter and marmalade in the fridge." She glances up at the clock. "I'd like to get back by two."
Even if I wasn't crazy about Suki, I wouldn't want to leave it like this with Anna. Not after everything. I get the phone out. "There are two more messages from Mrs Crick," I say, hoping that perhaps a problem will somehow pull us together.
She's over by the sink, rinsing her breakfast things. "Just dump the phone." Her voice is fla
t, as if she could care less.
"But I need to take her car back."
"I've asked a couple of the men to run it over." She still doesn't turn round. "They'll leave it and go. I've warned them not to say where they're from or anything at all to her."
"Oh." I suppose it's a good idea. Less complicated. I really don't want to see Mrs Crick again. She's got her result so she should be happy. What she does with it is up to her. I'd already decided to keep what's left of the money. For a start I have to pay Ally back.
I eat my toast and try to think of a way to talk to Anna about what happened. I want to tell her that I'll keep her secrets, but I'm worried that, the mood she's in, it might sound like some sort of a threat.
And there's Danny. Even if he can't stop the ghosts coming, I want to make things right with him. Last night I tried to speak to him but I can't get anywhere. I guess Anna's right, I'm not a medium, it's never going to work like that. And so I need her help.
She's clearing the table round me, putting the butter away, taking my mug. I give up on the toast and say, "Anna, can I ask you something?"
She just grunts. I know it's hopeless but I say, "It's about Danny." That gets her attention and she comes to stand by the table, frowning down at me.
I say, "I know he can't do anything about the ghosts, but I want to make some sort of peace with him." I can see in her eyes what the answer will be but I have to ask. "Is there anyway you can help me with that?"
"No," she says.
"But –"
"It's too risky. I don't want to get involved with any more of your bad karma."
This is so unfair it makes me angry. I'm not taking the blame for all this just because she's loaded with guilt. I'm about to tell her, then I think of Suki. So I just say, "Please, I need to make it right with him."
"Sorry," she says. She doesn't sound sorry. "You'll just have to live with it."
"That's nice, after everything, that's really fucking nice!" I say, it sort of bursts out of me but I don't care. I could say a lot more except I have to get in the car with her. And I'm crazy about her daughter.
####
The cops haven't brought the Land Rover back yet so we go in the Volvo. The drive to Oxford is no fun but at least it's quicker than in the Land Rover. Anna frowns at any hold up until I feel like every traffic jam is my fault. It's clear she doesn't even want to breathe the same air as me. I try to make conversation a few times but she won't have it. We don't speak until we get close and then she says, "It won't work out with you and Suki. You're not her type."
I guess this has been brewing all the way. I'm so not in the mood. "She seems to think I'm her type." I hope she gets what I'm implying. I hope it drives her nuts.
"That's because of the ghosts." She glances at me to confirm she's scored a hit. "The ghosts are the only reason she would ever be attracted to someone like you." It's clear she's not going to hold back and I wonder what she'll come up with next.
She says, "Suki really likes men like Simon. Successful, focussed with similar interests. That's what she needs in her life, not –"
I don't need to hear this. "I think Suki can decide what she needs in her life." It's almost, but not quite, a threat. I know it's not smart but it shuts her up.
When we get into town I'm hoping she will drop me off and head back. Instead she parks up and comes with me to the boat. That makes me nervous.
When we go in Jess is at the table, working with her beads and stuff. Suki's sitting on the sofa. She jumps up and comes rushing over. "Tommy, you're OK. Thank god. I've been so worried." She's got this look on her face, as if she really is pleased that I'm OK. But I can tell it's even more than that. I'm thinking, in a second she's going to be in my arms and I can kiss her. Anna can't spoil this. Finally, it's my moment. But the kitchen's narrow and Anna's in the way.
Anna stands firm like the Berlin wall before they knocked it down. I can't exactly shove her out of the way. Suki comes to a halt. "Mum, is everything alright?"
"Everything's fine." Anna leans forward to give her a kiss on the cheek. "Just, in future, keep ghost boy here on a leash. I don't want him turning up, wasting my time, expecting me to sort his problems out." She hides her anger behind a touch of humour but no one's fooled.
Suki looks surprised, then confused. Her excitement fades a bit. "Do you want a cup of tea?" she asks her mum.
"No, I have to get back. I have a business to run. I've wasted enough time."
This is all such BS, I'm about choking. Of course she knows I won't say anything.
Anna says, "I'll just have a drink of water."
Suki gets her the water. Anna still hasn't budged so I stand by the door feeling like a dick. I should've known she'd screw me and Suki up if she could. But she's not done.
"Suki," Anna sounds longsuffering. "I spoke to a friend in the Gloucestershire police and I've fixed things regarding Tommy missing his bail sign ins." She talks to Suki like I'm not here. "You need to make sure he goes along tomorrow morning. Or I'll have wasted more of my time."
"Sure," Suki shoots a glance at me. I know she feels bad about this. And I know it's not her fault.
Anna has fucked up my moment, just like that. I shouldn't be surprised. As far as she's concerned everything's my fault. She's not a lady to forgive much. I wonder, how can she be Suki's mum? You couldn't find two people more unalike.
I don't know what's on my face but when I look up Jess is watching me. She gets up and comes alongside Suki. I'm thinking if she double-teams with Anna, I don't stand a chance. Shoot me now. But she just sort of reaches by Anna to grab my arm. She yanks me forward and Anna has to get out of the way.
"Nice wardrobe choice, Tommy," Jess says. She's laughing at the jacket, but somehow she's pushed me and Suki up together.
Suki grabs hold of the jacket and grins. "Nice." Then she reaches out to touch the bruise on my head. ""You said you'd be alright." She sort of growls, "Next time I'm coming with."
There's a whisper of sound behind me. I hope Anna doesn't still have the gun. Suki's looking at me, and I'm not missing my moment again. "No," I say to Suki. "You're not." I kiss her before she can argue. She kisses me back. Vaguely I hear Anna stomp off, muttering. Jess disappears too and then it's just me and Suki sitting on the sofa. K.I.S.S.I.N.G. until we sort of run out of air. We stop and I pull away. I don't mean to but it's too much.
Suki looks at me. "What's up?"
Where the fuck do I start? After a moment I shake my head. There's no way I can tell her.
She's still staring at me, frowning a bit. "What exactly have you done to piss Anna off so much?"
I shrug and shiver. "It was the ghost."
"Well, ghost or not, it's clear she doesn't like you much either." She tugs my jacket off and throws it on the floor. "You must've done something?" She's not being nasty; actually she sounds sort of amused. I might have scored points by pissing her mum off. But I need to distract Suki.
"She's not the only one doesn't like me. At least one Scotsman in town wants to kill me," I say, as if it's funny, which it isn't. But I really need to change the subject. I'm thinking I'm glad she doesn't know exactly how much her mum doesn't like me. Or why.
"She'll get over it," she says.
I just sort of grunt and we stare at each other. It's one of those looks. Something amazing is happening. This is so my moment. Slowly I reach out. I curl a hand round her neck and pull her close. We kiss, soft at first then more urgent. Cushions and stuff fall on the floor. I end up underneath her on the sofa. She breaks the kiss and sits up.
"This disappearing for days, you better not pull that stunt again," she says, messing up my moment. "You've seen my mum, I can be scary too." This comes close to killing my moment but Suki's tugging at my shirt; she gets it loose and starts undoing the buttons. "No more playing hard to get, ghost boy."
"Please don't call me that," I say.
My head's still about five minutes behind the action, but other bits of me catch up quicker
. She pulls her T off and undoes her bra. I stare like an idiot; she's just so gorgeous. I can't believe this is happening. It's clear she knows what she's doing to me as she laughs and reaches to pop the button on my jeans. Then she slides the zipper down, sort of slow.
I'm like a deer in the headlights. "Here? What about Jess," I manage to gasp.
"What, I'm not enough for you, ghost boy?" She slides close, skin against skin. Her teeth nip and tease against my neck. "We'll see about that."
####
Afterwards we get in the shower together. I soap her back to be helpful and progress to anything else I can get my hands on. She counts my bruises and asks me what happened.
"Dumb-arse ghost," I say. I manage a smile but it's hard to joke about it. "No co-ordination."
"Tommy," she says. "About Anna. There's stuff you don't know."
I feel as if someone's turned the shower to cold. "Let's keep it that way," I say. The words are out of my mouth before I even think. The worst of it is they sound so glib, like I don't give a shit.
She stares at me.
"Come on, Suki, I don't think she's going to like me more if I know her secrets."
She considers this, looking sort of hurt. It's official; I've reached genius level at fucking things up. She finally decides to open up to me and I act like a jerk. But I'm scared of all the stuff I can't tell her.
"It would be too weird," I say. "Knowing stuff about her." God, if only I didn't know stuff about her. Anna will never forgive me for what I know.
Suki gives me a strange look. "Is there something you haven't told me, Tommy?"
I shake my head. "No. I just don't want to feel weird round your mum." I think she buys it. "Let her warm up to me," I say and try to grin. "You wait and see. I'll charm the pants off her."
After a moment she giggles. "First Jess, now my mum, that's gross and a bit ambitious, don't you think, ghost boy?"
"Shut up."
"Make me."
I slide my arms round her waist and down. She slides her arms round my neck and, despite limited space; I find a way to keep her quiet.
Soul Mate (Book One) Page 24