Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?, Vol. 4

Home > Other > Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?, Vol. 4 > Page 4
Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?, Vol. 4 Page 4

by Fujino Omori


  “Okay, next up. Takemikazuchi’s…ohh, quite the cutie, this gal. Hmm, she’s from one of those Far East places, so her name’s backward…Little Miss Yamato Mikoto!”

  Loki took another look at the Guild’s paperwork in her hands, scanning it with her eyes.

  It included the profiles of every adventurer to be named, as well as a sketch of that person’s face drawn at the time they registered with the Guild. The sound of paper suddenly fluttered around the table before a chorus of “Ohh?” rose from their collective mouths.

  “Look at this one…Pretty damn good.”

  “Black hair is so nice—”

  “Hmmm, and she’s just a little kid, we can’t really…”

  “Oh yeah, just thinking about doing something to a girl of this tender age…makes me really excited! Just kidding, it’d weigh on my conscience.”

  “A-are you serious?!”

  There were two ways for a god at Denatus to avoid the drama of the second name.

  The first way involved paying off some of the more influential gods and goddesses before the meeting even started. However, this was nearly impossible for most of the lower Familias.

  Therefore, in these cases the influential gods and goddesses would look at the person in question and find a characteristic that they liked, as was taking place right now. Girls tended to get better names with this method than boys.

  Like a sunbeam piercing through storm clouds, the male gods in the room quickly focused on the girl’s hair color. Takemikazuchi couldn’t sit still, and he jumped to his feet.

  “Takemikazuchi, you’re hopeless, you bastard!”

  “Natural-born gigolo, that’s what you are…”

  “A goddess, a child, doesn’t matter to you, does it? You pull them into your scheme just the same…”

  “You got a Lolita complex or something?!”

  “Wh-what the hell are you talking about?!”

  “Poor Mikoto—her, too…”

  “If the thoughts don’t get through, then how about something a little more physical…Ha-hee-hee.”

  “Damn you all…!”

  There was nothing more whimsical and unpredictable than a god.

  Takemikazuchi gritted his teeth. His frustration with the other deities had gotten to him.

  “I shall be the one to deliver a requiem for Miss Mikoto! Future of the Milky Way—‘Fortune Galaxy’!”

  “Dear Mikoto, you were such a good girl, but your god is just hopeless. You’re a fallen saint—‘Last Heroine.’”

  “Enough! Stop this at once! I’ve done my absolute best to raise up and guide my little angel!”

  “‘Little Angel,’ then!”

  ““““That’s it!””””

  “Please…have mercy…”

  This was what the gods came to Denatus to see.

  Hestia and Hephaistos also tried to give a few suggestions, but they were completely ignored.

  “This gal Mikoto’s nickname is… ‘Eternal † Shadow.’ That sittin’ well with everybody?”

  “No objections.”

  “Uwahhh, gggaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!”

  Hestia felt sorry for her friend as he threw his head back, hands over his ears, and wailed at the top of his lungs in humiliation. She swore to herself that she would take him out for a stiff drink that night.

  Even after Takemikazuchi, a god of military arts, stopped crying tears of blood, the victims of the Naming Ceremony kept piling up.

  The pandemonium continued until all of the adventurers from lower and middle class Familias had been given a title. Now it was time for the cream of the crop.

  Adventurers from Hephaistos Familia, Ganesha Familia, and Ishtar Familia were on the list to be named.

  “…Freya! Not a single one from your house has leveled up. So you came here for leisure only? Why is it that the Almighty Freya would even bother showing her face in a place like this?”

  “Why, yes. Even in Tenkai, retirement is the poison that will kill us all. I was just out for a little stroll, Ishtar.”

  Any deity who received an invitation to Denatus had the right to participate in any meeting from then on.

  If no one in their Familia had leveled up, then there was almost no point in their attendance other than for the entertainment. A good example would be the many gods and goddesses who took the lead in suggesting second names during the ceremony.

  Despite Ishtar’s poorly disguised mockery, Freya brushed off her fellow goddess of beauty’s words with a cold smile.

  “Oh, is that right? And speaking of time to burn, one of your house seems to have that as well. Just roaming around the middle levels, dueling Minotaur after Minotaur for fun, yes? The apple never falls far from the tree, now does it?”

  “Hee-hee, you may be right.”

  “Ah, yes. While we’re on the subject, I heard about a Minotaur that came into the upper levels…Could this have something to do with your house, Freya? If by chance it does, what will the Guild have to say about it?”

  “Why don’t you ask, Ishtar? I’ve heard that while my child was playing with those Minotaurs, he was attacked by a group of Amazons wearing masks…Don’t you find that a little rude? I’d like to have a word with their mother…”

  “…!”

  Ishtar’s face contorted, the brown skin under her very revealing outfit tensing up all over her body. On the other hand, Freya laughed quietly to herself and closed her eyes to signal the end of their conversation.

  The truth behind the Minotaur incident that was making waves in the adventure community was still shrouded in mystery. All of the gods in this room were aware of that.

  The other gods at the table watched the two goddesses of beauty trade verbal jabs while giggling to themselves.

  “Amazons. Does that mean Ishtar is trying to butt into Freya’s affairs?”

  “Well, could be. It’s not like this is the first time. Ishtar has always considered Freya to be her rival.”

  “Even so, Freya is just toying with her…Seems like arguing which one of the two is the most beautiful would be a very fruitless discussion.”

  “Don’t say that to Ishtar’s face.”

  Hestia and Hephaistos whispered quietly to each other, but the young goddess’s eyes were locked firmly on Freya.

  Since Bell had become directly involved in the Minotaur incident, this wasn’t just someone else’s problem…However, while she couldn’t just take Freya’s and Ishtar’s words at face value, she wasn’t in a position to press them for answers, either. She didn’t want to make any false accusations.

  Despite her mind firing on all cylinders, Hestia decided to stop trying to figure out the meaning of Freya’s words. She did not, however, take her eyes off the silver-haired goddess for a moment.

  “Alrighty, then, enough chitchat. Time to pick back up again. Next on the list is…nu-hee-hee, the hometown hero, my Aiz!”

  “The Kenki’s back again!!”

  “The princess is just as beautiful as ever.”

  “You mean she’s Level Six now…?”

  The Naming Ceremony had been in danger of breaking down, but a big name like Aiz Wallenstein’s was just what they needed to get back on track.

  Each of the deities flipped through their paperwork to find an extremely detailed picture of a young girl staring back up at them with eyes like a doll.

  Every time someone leveled up, they received a chance to correct their second name. Even if their first title was rather strange, as long as they leveled up again it could be fixed at the next Denatus Naming Ceremony.

  “Don’t you think that Aiz’s name is good enough as it is?”

  “Agreed.”

  “It could be changed to something like holy sword—‘Kensei’?”

  “Hunh?”

  “Aiz’s image is completely different, don’cha think?”

  “Well, the be-all and end-all would be Daughter of the Gods—‘Our Lady.’”

  “““““Agreed!”””””�


  “I’ll end y’all.”

  ““““““Our apologies!!””””””

  Another way to avoid an embarrassing second name was for the god or goddess to bring up how powerful their Familia was within Orario.

  In short, they had to make the others think that picking a fight would be a very bad idea.

  None of the gods were foolish enough to get carried away when they knew the wrath of Loki was waiting for them.

  Every single one of the deities who had gotten caught up in the moment slammed their heads to the table in a deep bow in Loki’s direction, in order to escape her glare of death.

  “Seriously, ya gotta know who yer dealin’ with. Anyhoo, next…Hmm, last one, yeah?”

  Hestia suddenly went tense, gulping down her last breath.

  There was only one last page left in the prepared handouts. The level-up had occurred just before Denatus was scheduled to take place, so only the most basic of basic information had been prepared in time.

  It was for an adventurer who belonged to Hestia Familia, who had been completely unknown until recently.

  Bell.

  “So that child really did become Level Two…”

  Hephaistos whispered quietly to herself as she looked at the Guild’s seal of approval on the paperwork clutched in her hands.

  Her friend’s words barely making it into her ears, Hestia looked around the table.

  There were many smiles. However, they were the dirty, drooling smiles of people who had just eaten a full-course meal and were about to get their dessert.

  Her moment of truth had arrived.

  She had said all those things to Bell before leaving but had failed to prepare a strategy, thinking that everything would work out by believing in the power of their love and courage…!

  —Right after that.

  Loki quietly got to her feet.

  “…Loki?”

  “Before we get to namin’, there’s somethin’ I’d like ta know, Shorty.”

  No one objected, as the normally squinting Loki opened her eyes wide enough to let everyone know she had a bone to pick.

  “He did that much with our blessin’ in a month an’ a half—you expectin’ me ta believe that?”

  WHAM!

  Loki slammed the palm of her hand onto her own paperwork on top of Bell’s face, glaring daggers in Hestia’s direction.

  “It took my Aiz a year to level-up fer the first time—a whole year! And this boy does it in a month an’ a half?! What’re ya tryin’ to pull?”

  It was eight years ago.

  A relatively clueless eight-year-old had become the fastest adventurer on record to reach Level 2. Not only that, she was human—a race that was physically and mentally weaker than many of its counterparts.

  News that such a person had set a record like that had spread throughout Orario and the world like wildfire.

  “It’s not like a blessin’ is anythin’ special. A child that levels up that fast ain’t natural. There ain’t no shortcut, all of them bust their tails workin’ hard ta level up.”

  Loki went on to say that Falna, the power of a blessing, was not instant.

  A Status only gave the children a chance. Falna manifested itself differently in each person, based completely on their own experiences and desires.

  Abilities, Skills, Magic. All of them developed based on Characteristics lurking within an individual. Even those characteristics were built up from a personal history—and the excelia gained from those experiences warped the power of a blessing, or degenerated it, into its new shape. It was similar to how the size and shape of a flower growing out of the ground can differ depending on its environment during development.

  Therefore, it was a stimulant.

  Falna was completely unaffected by outside forces. To be completely blunt, it was the ultimate key to unlocking inner potential.

  “So, spill it, Shorty.”

  “…”

  Hestia could have sworn Loki was breathing fire; the black-haired goddess was drenched in sweat.

  This is bad, very, very bad.

  The moment that the other gods and goddesses learned of Bell’s Skill, “Realis Phrase,” this place would become an absolute zoo. She hadn’t told Bell about his own Skill for this very reason; she knew exactly how the others would react—. Add to it the fact that he just set a new record for the fastest level-up, and every god in this room would swarm him.

  She had to fulfill her duty to protect the boy. However, in order to do that she would have to imply that Bell was special without outright saying it. Her best option was to give Loki a believable explanation, but there was no way she could come up with something good enough to satisfy her on the spot.

  She was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Swinging her arms as if she were trying to swim through the air, Hestia’s mind raced to come up with anything believable.

  “So ya can’t say? Ya wouldn’t happen ta be usin’ yer divine power, now would ya?”

  “O-of course I’m not!”

  “Okay then, out with it. If yer conscience is clean, this should be easy as pie.”

  “Ah…”

  Loki had accused Hestia of using Arcanum, divine power, to accelerate Bell’s growth. A near-panicked Hestia couldn’t string enough words together to defend herself.

  Hephaistos sat next to her friend with a very troubled look on her face. Her mouth was open, as if she were about to speak but couldn’t figure out what to say.

  Every set of eyes around the table was now trained on Hestia. Extremely interested in what was going on, all of the gods and goddesses leaned in to catch every single word. Hestia felt as though the room were closing in on her. She had never sweated this much in her life.

  I’m finished, said a little voice in her head as she gave up hope. Just then.

  “My my, what’s the big deal?”

  A beautiful soprano voice echoed throughout the room.

  “…Huh?”

  “Whassat?”

  All eyes left Hestia in an instant and instead went to the owner of the voice.

  Freya was leaning back in her chair, an aloof expression on her face.

  “As long as Hestia hasn’t violated our laws, then there’s no need for her to explain herself, yes? It is, after all, taboo to reveal the inner workings of any Familia. That includes the Statuses and Abilities of any members.”

  Looking at a lock of her hair, she pulled it back behind her ear. Freya appeared disinterested, as if she were only talking common sense. But it stopped Loki in her tracks.

  “…But one month? Can’t ya wrap yer mind around that, ya airheaded vixen?”

  “Hee-hee, why does this bother you so much, Loki? Your attitude seems rather strange to me…Is this jealousy, perhaps? Is it because Hestia’s boy broke your favorite little girl’s record?”

  “Like I care,” Loki retorted with a sneer.

  “I wonder,” Freya responded with her ever-present smile.

  Loki’s pretty face contorted in rage as she opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Just as Loki had done to Hestia moments ago, Freya had twisted Loki’s words into a corner from which she couldn’t escape. The look on Loki’s face made it all worth it for Freya as she smiled smugly in her chair.

  Tsk! Loki clucked her tongue in Freya’s direction, looking at her with the utmost fury.

  “Of course it’s difficult to believe my ears when I hear those numbers…But this boy, by some miracle, managed to defeat a Minotaur despite his low level.”

  “…”

  “If I had to wager a guess, then I would say this Minotaur is the reason. If, perhaps, defeating a Minotaur meant something special to him, then the excelia he gained could also have had more influence than usual…That’s what I think.”

  Every one of Freya’s words sent ripples through the meeting room.

  Each deity looked down at the paperwork in front of them and under the “personal history” column, only to find that this was,
in fact, the second time the adventurer Bell Cranell had encountered a Minotaur. But he had defeated only one of them. One by one, the gods and goddesses around the table started murmuring in agreement with Freya’s opinion. Even Loki couldn’t deny that it made sense, but she wasn’t too happy about it.

  It had been nearly a thousand years since the deities had come down from the heavens and begun bestowing blessings on the children.

  None of them could hope to predict what possibilities were hidden within each of the people of the world below. Even strange occurrences like this happened every now and again—all Freya did was point it out.

  She let a moment of silence fill the room.

  Then she went on to say that while she was extremely interested, there was no reason to force an answer for Bell Cranell’s unusual development speed. Soon other gods around the table were saying that it would be against the rules to do so.

  Freya quietly smiled again and gracefully looked over at Hestia.

  It took her a moment to notice Freya’s silver gaze. All Hestia could do, however, was blink, her body still in a state of shock.

  An instant later, Freya stood up from her chair.

  “Oh, are ya leavin’, Freya?”

  “Yes. I have something urgent to attend to, so I shall excuse myself now.”

  “Since you’re here, why don’t ya leave after we’ve given Loli Big Boobs’s child a name? It’s the last one, anyway.”

  “Hee-hee, I apologize, but I can’t. Still…” Freya reached down to the table and picked up her copy of the paperwork. She took a look at Bell’s face and said, “Just be sure to name him something cute.”

  “““““““OKAY!!”””””””

  All of the gods around the table suddenly looked refreshed as Freya flashed her biggest smile of the day at each of them in turn. The goddesses, however, glared at their male counterparts, as if they were looking at rotten garbage.

  Freya turned her back to the table and started to walk toward the door, sending one last grin over her shoulder.

  “Well, shall we get down to business and choose a title for this boy?”

  “Sounds good.”

  “But this human…I haven’t heard anything about him.”

  “It’s the ones you overlook who surprise you.”

 

‹ Prev