by Nicole Smith
“I’m sorry Hayden,” I simply said as he gently released me, placing me down gently on to the couch so he could wipe my feet of the glass.
“Oh, Natalie, where were you? Do you know?” he asked, as he held my hands in his.
“In a meadow Hayden, it seemed so real. I believed I was really there,” I tried to explain as I looked around the room at the mess I made. I couldn’t remember doing this.
“Let’s try and get some sleep. We’ll clean this up in the morning,” Hayden carried me to bed after he pulled out the small pieces of glass from my feet. He kissed my neck and held me as I fell into another deep sleep.
The next morning I awoke alone. I vaguely remembered last night and the dream of dancing in a meadow. I wrapped my robe around me and went out to find Hayden. He has cleaned up the glass and put the pictures back up on the wall. I began to wonder if maybe it has all just been a dream and none of it really happened, until I noticed the books still on the floor and the broom leaning against the counter. I didn’t see Hayden though. I went into the kitchen and began to pour myself a glass of juice. As I went to place the jug on the table I heard someone whisper.
“I’ve missed you Natalie,” the voice said, barely audible, but I heard it. I felt the hair on my arms rise. My throat became tight as I tried to swallow. I still held the jug as I glimpsed a shape move from the room. I froze with fear. I hadn’t heard the door open and Hayden enter until he stood beside me. I screamed and dropped the juice, spilling it on the floor.
“Natalie, it’s me, Hayden. Natalie, you’re okay,” he held my arms tightly, gently shaking me out of my fright.
“Oh Hayden, someone is here. I don’t know who, all it said is that they missed me. I’m scared Hayden. I thought they couldn’t get to me here, but they have,” I cried.
“Your safe here Natalie. I will protect you. No one is going to harm you here,” he tried to comfort me but I think he had to convince himself of this too. Something is wrong with me and I felt it growing around me.
Later that day I fell asleep on the couch. I couldn’t understand why I felt so exhausted but I just couldn’t stay awake. There were so many things I felt like I should do like go and see Beth at school. I had to ask her why she left me. I wanted to help Clive and go to work for him. I just wasn’t sure if I could mentally handle it right now. A loud bang startled me awake. I sat up quickly and looked around the room. A number of books had fallen from the shelf and lay scattered on the floor.
“Hayden,” I whispered.
“Hahaha,” a sarcastic laugh filled the room. I tried to stand but felt hands on my shoulders holding me down. I tried to shout but felt hands covering my mouth. I began to squirm, trying to break free. As I struggled to get free the room around me began to change. The ceiling opened up and the floor below me disappeared. I dangled by these hands that I couldn’t match a body too.
“Please don’t drop me,” I begged through the fingers still covering my mouth.
“Natalie, if I dropped you it wouldn’t matter. Don’t you realize what you are? Don’t you know that you’re dead?” this shadowy voice whispered back. I screamed as loud as I could.
I felt the hand come away from my mouth and I managed to reach for a ledge of the apartment building and pull myself up. I placed my back against the bricks and gasped. I flattened my palms against the wall and slowly shuffled towards the open window with white curtains blowing through it. I felt as though I dreamt everything around me. I reached the window and crawled inside. As soon as I felt my feet land back on a solid surface I crouched as I looked up. My gaze landed on Hayden, standing over me. He reached his hand down for me. I placed my hand in his and without a word he pulled me up to him.
CHAPTER NINE
All I can do is to try and get through the night, I thought. Hayden locked the bedroom door once I settled myself in bed. It seemed strange to have to do this but he believed it necessary for my own safety. I secretly worried more about his though. I actually couldn’t fall asleep after my nightmare. It seemed too real this time.
I stayed up reading for a few hours, hoping to take my mind off of it. I glanced over at Hayden and watched him sleeping, noticing his arms have dropped from around me. I reached for the lamp, about to turn it off when I heard the voice return. It’s in the room with us. How did it get in here? I looked over at the bedroom door and saw that it’s wide open now.
“I’ve missed you Natalie,” it whispered again, barely audible, but I heard it. I shivered as the air in the room went cold. I reached for Hayden. I tried to wake him. I shook him vigorously.
“Hayden!” I shouted his name but he wouldn’t move. I began to cry as I reached for his hands. I leaned over and kissed them as I desperately tried to hold on to him but he disappeared in front of me. Everything disappeared, the bedroom, the apartment, everything except the owner of the voice that haunted me.
A woman stood in front of me with a little girl by her side. She looked strong and beautiful in a long dress with lace around her neck and silk hugging her body. The dress looked old but she didn’t. The little girl standing beside her reached her thin arm up to hold the woman’s hand. She seemed ill but I believe she must have been pretty when she lived. I usually didn’t see sick looking ghosts, this little girl surprised me. As I stared at them a vision of the three girls in my closet flashed before my eyes. This little girl used to be one of them. I smiled at her and she smiled back.
“Natalie, I have missed you,” she squealed as she released the woman’s hand and came running towards me. She placed her little hands around my waist and rested her head against me.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you. You haven’t changed a bit,” I told her. She let go and looked up at me.
“This is my new Mommy, her name is Abigail. She wants to meet you. I’m afraid I told her about you, that when you were little you would talk to me and my sisters in the closet. She is interested in our time together, however brief,” she whispered. I looked over at Abigail. She still stood there, in front of me, looking me over. I didn’t feel comfortable with her here. I knew she planned to hurt me somehow.
“Elizabeth has found ways to visit me but you and your other sister have remained a mystery to me. Do you know why?” I asked her, ignoring Abigail.
“Did you know we were afraid of you? We lived in that house for a long time before you arrived. It is where we died, all three of us and our parents. I didn’t think we would ever leave it again, but as soon as you moved everything changed for us. Mary experienced the first transformation. She felt the release immediately and went to meet our parents. Elizabeth experienced a different kind of release, she enjoyed a new freedom. She began to roam between the realms, like the one you’re in now. I really wished I could have left with Mary, but unfortunately that didn’t happen, so I began following Elizabeth as much as I could, but since I couldn’t leave this realm I suffered from loneliness a lot. I sunk into despair, worse than when we lived in your closet and losing my parents. That’s when I became sickly looking,” she said as she looked down at herself.
“Elizabeth checked in on me but she enjoyed her freedom too much to stay with me. That’s when Abigail took me in. I joined her and her group of spirits that roam the city,” she glanced to Abigail then back to me. I noticed a smirk cross Abigail’s face.
“Are you done now Amy? Mommy is getting bored. I promised you just a few minutes, she’s all mine now,” she shrieked as she flew at me. I felt her cold fingers sink into my skin. I am not going to go without a fight this time. I am not going to run. I felt her fingers warm as she tried to tighten her grip on me. I understood than that so many of the ghosts I met thru the years were like Elizabeth, they could travel between both worlds. Amy just didn’t realize that she could escape or she really didn’t want too. In this world, this realm, they have no physical power over me. I looked into Abigail’s eyes and saw her despair as she came to the same conclusion. She tried to hold me tighter but her hands just went th
rough me.
“It’s over Abby. I am not your link back to life. I am not your hope for more. It’s all over now. It’s time you went home,” I told her as calmly as I could. I felt my Kris appear in my hand as soon as I said these words. I sunk it into her and watched her vanish the same way my father did when I sent him on his way. Ending their afterlife is different in this realm. I didn’t need any fancy transportation vehicles. I didn’t need to collect their light. I could just watch them fly away. It’s nicer this way. Amy walked over to me and wrapped her little hand around mine.
“Do you want to go see your parents now Amy?” I asked. I wanted her to have the choice. She nodded looking up at me, smiling. I held her close as I again lifted my Kris and sunk it into her little ribs. I heard her whisper ‘thank-you’ as she vanished into the blue sky.
“Blue sky?” I questioned my vision as I looked up through the trees. I could tell the sun would be setting soon. I had to get out of here, wherever here happened to be. A grey haze began to blur my vision as I began to run. I could smell the ocean. I sighed as I realized that I hadn’t actually woken up, or left this realm, it must have been Abigail, playing tricks on me. She must have known Elizabeth tried to send me back and she intervened somehow. I must be back at the beach house again. The tree branches bent over the path creating what appeared to be a dark hallway for me to follow. At the end a bright light beckoned me. Shadows were beginning to emerge on both sides of the trail. I wanted to believe I’m alone now. I quickened my pace, still not knowing if I went in the right direction, or what would be waiting for me at the end.
I picked up a long stick and glanced behind me as I kept moving. I thought I saw some leaves fall from a tree. A shiver ran down my back, my skin crawled, my bones ached. I had to find Hayden again. I placed my hood over my head and continued to run. I reminded myself that I am strong, in this realm and the one I belong in. I have a light within me that protects and guides me.
I watched as the creatures of the night began to crawl out of their daytime hovels. The darkness came at me quickly, winding its way down the path toward me as I ran to greet it. Where am I running to? Why am I here? I tried to hold back my panic as I ran faster, facing my fear instead of running from it.
A clearing must be up ahead because a different shade of darkness seemed to be lining the path. The light from the moon began to show itself through the thinning trees as I neared the opening. I ran as fast as I could. Whoever followed me was keeping up just fine. I broke through the entrapment of the trees and flung myself into the wide open space that now lay before me.
The moon hung over the water like a spotlight searching for a missing swimmer. ‘I’m here!’ I felt like shouting but I knew no one looked for me here. I am on my own again. I had to find my own way back this back.
It felt so strange being back with Hayden, I should have known it wasn’t real. I should have trusted my instincts. Hayden’s place is protected from spirits. The fact that I heard them there should have been a huge red flag. Relief finally washed over me as I saw my beautiful beach house in the distance. A light shone from the kitchen window. Could Hayden be there waiting for me? I shook my head and sighed. I wouldn’t allow myself false hopes now. I approached the back porch cautiously. I had no idea who or what may be inside waiting for me. As silently as I could I walked up the steps and opened the door.
It appeared just as I left it. My beautiful red pillows on my white couch lay recently fluffed. My slippers were on the floor and a cup of tea steamed beside the book I had been reading.
A crystal vase filled with yellow roses has been placed on the table by someone else. A small white card lay beside it. I looked around as I walked towards the table. There wasn’t a hint of a spirit in here. The air felt calm and cool. I picked up the card and instantly recognized the hand writing.
My Dearest Natalie
I wish you were far away from here
It is not your time to be here
It was only a dream that went too far
All you have to do is wake up
With love forever
Mommy
“Mother!” I shouted. I wanted her here. I choked on my tears. I read the card again. Why did she say it isn’t my time to be here? This is my beach house. I have every right to be here. I plucked a rose from the vase and carried it to the couch. I sat down and read the card again. ‘It was only a dream that went too far. All I have to do is wake up.’ If only it’s that easy. The sound of the waves crashing against the shore made my head throb. The clouds opened and the rain poured down.
I ran to the door and locked it. I closed all the windows. I walked back into the kitchen and searched the fridge for food, but everything I touched has gone bad. As I took a sip of tea I heard a knock on the front door. I carefully placed the cup down, trying not to shake too much. I walked to the door and looked through the peep hole. Nothing, no one appeared.
“Hi Natalie!” I jumped around. How can anyone sneak in on me? I had a heightened sense of awareness didn’t I? At least that’s what Clive had me believe once. Maybe it didn’t work here.
“Who is here? Why don’t you just show yourself and quit sneaking around?” I felt violated.
Elizabeth appeared before me again. I should have known. She wasn’t in her old woman form, but appeared before me as a young woman. Her long blond hair hung off to the side, revealing her beautiful diamond earrings. As a child she looked poor to me, skinny and sick, she would never have worn diamonds. I wondered how she managed to change her form so easily. I have never seen another spirit capable of doing this. They usually never change from the day they die. Well, that’s not exactly true, I thought, they usually look like a perfected version of their once living body, as it had been on the day they died, but never to the extreme like Elizabeth has managed.
“Do you know where you are Natalie?” she asked quickly.
“In my beach house,” I replied just as quickly.
“No you are not Natalie. It may appear to be but it isn’t. Do you remember all the places you have traveled since you and Beth escaped the school? The moment you tried to escape Beth put a curse on you. Why didn’t you remember to heed my warning? I told you people are not who they appear to be. Do you remember that? When you were in the hospital I told you this!” She seemed so disappointed in me.
“That was so long ago. I have been through so much since then. I thought at first you were talking about Hayden or maybe even Adam, but that would have been too late. I’m sorry Elizabeth. I didn’t think Beth would hurt me. She seemed so alone when I met her. I thought we were friends. We talked and laughed. I really don’t understand why she would hurt me?” I asked more to myself than Elizabeth.
“She told me once that Stella controlled her. Stella planned on taking my light from me. She intended on transferring it to her body somehow, the same thing Abigail wanted to do. They were attracted to my light. I don’t understand Elizabeth, how could they have taken it from me?” I cried as I sat down on the couch, pulling one of the pillows into my chest and wept. As I did this the pillow vanished from my hands. The roof of the house blew into the ocean. The windows shattered. I looked up at Elizabeth in horror. Astonishingly she stood beside me, smiling and holding my cup of tea in her hand, as though she watched an amusing show.
“Don’t get too comfortable here Natalie or you will never find your way home again,” she advised as my roof reappeared above me.
“Stop crying and listen to me closely. Beth and Stella are sisters. Her whole story of being pregnant and ill is only half true. Stella is the one that had the miscarriage. Beth became so saddened by her sister’s death that she took her own life. She has hated herself ever since for doing something so stupid. All she has wanted for all these years is another chance to live. Stella convinced Beth that you could give her the life she craved. Her compulsion to steal the light from you grew. What they didn’t understand is that when they brought you so close to death you managed to escape in to this realm
and away from them. You should know that they are searching for you, just as Abigail did. They will find you here eventually too but Hayden is keeping them distracted for now. This place your in is kind of like what the Christians call limbo or purgatory. It is a waiting room for the finale afterlife. All the places you have been and keep returning too in this realm are just your own thoughts and emotions keeping you busy while you wait,” she smiled as she explained all this to me, like I am supposed to be relieved by this information somehow.
“Why is there something chasing me than? Following me? Why does it feel like something evil? How is that keeping me busy?” I asked bitterly.
“It is still you Natalie, all of it. It is your darkness. We all have darkness inside of us. You have bitterness in your heart that has been growing since you were a child. This darkness will not follow you to your afterlife but it will stay with you here,” she explained as she took a sip of my tea and sat down beside me on the couch.
“The difference between you and the others that have come to this place is that you are not dead yet Natalie. Your body is alive and well and it’s waiting for you.” She took another sip as I heard the wave’s crash louder.
“Elizabeth, how do I wake up?” I cried, feeling beaten. All this time I ran only from myself.
"My darling Natalie, you know what to do," she whispered. I shook my head.
"Why won't you just tell me? Why did my mother tell me to just ‘wake up’? I don’t know how?" I yelled. I threw my hands in the air and turned to the ocean. As I watched the waves grow Elizabeth placed her hands on my shoulders.